Mush rolled over in bed, a slight smile playing at his lips when he saw who was beside him. He leaned forward, pressing a feather-light kiss to the blonde boy's cheek.
Hey, Kid. Good morning. You look like an angel.
Blink stirred but didn't wake, and Mush was all too happy to lay back down with him.
I don't remember when we fell asleep.
He cast a lazy glance around the room, pleased to see that the sun hadn't risen yet.
We should get up, Kid. Cathy is waiting…
Horror started to set in. What did we do?
Look at us, lying here. Dreaming, pretending. I made a promise and I took a vow...
This... this couldn't be undone. He'd never be able to look Blink in the eye after this.
I wrote a story and we changed the ending. Cathy, just look at me now.
He buried his face in the sheets in shame. What did he do?
Hold on, facts are facts. Just relax, lay low.
He managed to even out his breathing, raising his head to look around the room. The other boys were all asleep. If he got dressed and into his own bed, they'd never have to know.
Alright, the panic recedes. Nobody needs to know.
Mush took another deep breath to steady himself, reaching for his shirt and doing up the buttons with shaking hands.
Put on my armor, I'm back to what I know. Back into battle 'til I don't know when.
Things would be fine. He'd buy his papes, meet Cathy for lunch. Everything would be normal.
Swearing to her that I never was with you, and praying I'll hold you again.
What would she say if she knew?
Hold on, clip these wings. Things get out of hand.
He buried his face in his hands, stifling a groan. Why couldn't he have just gone to the party?
Alright, it's over, it's done. No one will understand.
He couldn't change what he... what they'd done. He could just try to hide it. He was good at hiding things. One night wouldn't change things. He could still pretend things were okay, that they were normal.
No one will understand…
He was supposed to have a life. He was supposed to find a nice girl, get a decent-paying job and settle down. Have an apartment full of kids.
We build a treehouse, I keep it from shaking. Little more glue every time that it breaks.
As little as it appealed to him sometimes, that was what he was supposed to do. Whether or not he liked it, that was his lot in life.
Perfectly balanced, and then I start making conscious, deliberate mistakes.
Why couldn't he have both? Why couldn't his nights belong to Blink and his days to Cathy?
All that I ask for is one little corner. One private room at the back of my heart.
No. This was something too big to hide. No girl— ever— could look past that, whether she knew his lover was a man or not.
Tell her I found one, she sends out battalions to claim it and blow it apart.
Blink opened his eyes, stretching out his long, lanky body under the sheets. Mush ran a hand through his tangled locks before he could stop himself.
I grip and she grips, and faster we're sliding. Sliding and spilling, and what can I do?
The one-eyed boy rewarded him with a tires smile, turning his head to press a kiss to his palm. That was all it took for Mush to melt.
Come back to bed, Kid. Take me inside you. I promise I won't lie to you.
He pulled his best friend into a hug, a few silent tears escaping. "I'm breaking up with Cathy," he said hoarsely, his voice barely above a whisper.
Hold on, don't cry yet. I won't let you go.
Blink pulled him into a tight hug, his arms locking around his neck and holding him in place. He felt the gentle kisses and he heard the whispered thanks and praises and sweet nothings in his ear, but it all felt so far away.
Alright, the panic recedes. Alright, everyone bleeds. Alright, I get what I need.
And nobody needs to know. Nobody needs to know…
He gathered Blink into his arms, burying his face into his shoulder to hide his tears.
And since I have to be in love with someone— Since I need to be in love with someone— Maybe I could be in love with someone like you…
(A/N): The first chapter from Mush's point of view! This chapter was inspired by Nobody Needs to Know from The Last Five Years. I'm so sorry for the long wait, quarantine and online classes are rough.
Leave a review and a favorite or a follow if you like this story! There will be three more chapters after this, and i have them half-written already. 3