Alice walked back to Hatter mansion in silence, shock filling her veins.
She was pregnant, and her baby was dying.
Alice went into the bathhouse instead of seeking out one of her lovers. She stripped herself, sliding into the new water that had just been filled a few moments ago after the tiles were scrubbed clean by the servants of the mansion.
When she was shoulder deep into the water, she put her head into her hands and wept.
Alice liked to pride herself on being independent. She went to college, worked, and paid for most things by herself.
She wanted to get through this independently as well. She didn't want to burden the others with these feelings, even though she knew, realistically, that she felt more than they did.
She managed to avoid it for three months before she finally broke down. Try as she might, she hadn't been able to hold it all back and she had been acting more sullen as time went on.
Her favorite foods no longer had taste, music no longer made her want to dance, colors seem to fade into shades of gray.
It was at one of Vivaldi's tea parties that she lost her grip on her emotions and the truth came out.
It had started sweet, with Vivaldi trying to get her to eat something, stating that she was getting far too thin, which was true.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Boris struggling to get over one of the hedges, cradling something in his arms that she couldn't see.
When the Cheshire cat finally managed to wiggle over the leafy green mass, he bounded over to her with the jubilant smile stuck to his face.
In his hands was a tiny little kitten. It wiggled and stretched in his palms before seeming to notice her, it's blue eyes curious and innocent.
And then it opened its mouth to give a tiny little cry that almost sounded like a human baby's.
Alice couldn't do it anymore, falling to her knees and starting to wail her grief to the world, her short body shaking like a leaf caught in the midst of a storm, thunder booming around it and lighting up the earth.
Distantly, she could hear Peter start yelling at Boris for upsetting her. If she was in a better headspace, she'd stop them.
It was Vivaldi who reached out to hold her cheeks, smearing the tears with her thumbs.
"What is upsetting you, Precious?" Vivaldi asks softly.
Alice's walls fell, and she told them everything.