Bleed Like Me

I don't know why it took me this long to write something for Orphan Black. Ever since the reveal of the reason behind Helena's bleached hair, I have wanted to write the missing part of the explanation as to why she is still blonde.


S was in the kitchen when Sarah walked in. Course she would be. Great.

She was wearing a pair of rubber gloves and looking through a cupboard. Sarah thought she might be able to grab the first aid kit without her noticing, but she had already turned around.

"Have you took the bleach?" S asked her.

"What? What are you on about? Why would I have nicked the bleach?"

"Well I don't know, do I?" S sighed and shook her head, then pulled off the gloves and threw them on the counter. "The last thing we want is Kira getting hold of it."

Sarah's eyes flicked to the first aid kit. She could just take it. But no, there would be questions.

"Kira's not a baby, S," she said, twisting her hands round each other.

Kira came running into the room giggling and went up to Sarah. She tried to grab her mum's hand but she pulled it away.

"Not now, monkey."

S gave Sarah a judgemental look, then smiled at Kira. "Come here, chicken," she said, and Kira ran over to her for a hug.

Sarah trudged upstairs. She would find bandaids at least in the bathroom.

The smell of bleach hit her before she even reached the door. She pushed it open with her foot.

"Helena what the bloody hell are you doing?"

Helena lifted her head out of the sink. She fought against the thick white bleach that tried to suck her hair back into the sink, then flipped around, splattering it outwards in a torrent like a toxic waterfall.

Sarah shut her eyes and held her hands in front of her face and felt bleach splatter her clothes.

"Sestra?" Helena said as bleach ran down her face. She blinked as it went into her eyes.

Sarah gaped at her for a moment. "Shit, Helena get under the shower!" she yelled, pushing her clone towards the bathtub and aiming the shower head at her hair. As she hosed Helena off, she took in the carnage of the bathroom. Bleach splattered every surface. And there was the bottle tipped over on the floor, open, leaking onto the bath mat.

"S is gonna kill you," Sarah said, switching off the shower.

Helena looked at her through her curtain of sodden hair. "She can try," she said.

"Look at what you've done. Why didn't you just get a box from the drugstore, you idiot?" Sarah said, throwing her hands up at her.

"Box? I no need box. I need bleach to wash away sins." Helena caught Sarah by the wrist. "Sestra, you are bleeding."

"I know," Sarah snarled, trying to pull away.

"Skin around nails is all peeled away," Helena said, inspecting her hand.

"Yeah, shut up," Sarah said, wrenching her wrist free and covering her injured hand with the other one and clutched it to her chest. Her shirt was wet. She looked down at it to see patches of bleach now accompanied the Led Zeppelin logo. "Look at what you've done to my shirt!"

Helena glanced at her, then looked away and grabbed a towel to cover her head with.


Sarah stood in the doorway of the guest bedroom. Helena was sitting on the bed staring into space. Her hair was still damp and the crumpled up towel lay beside her. Sarah pushed the towel out of the way and sat beside her.

For a moment she said nothing, just stared down at the embarrassing number of bandaids covering her fingers. "Helena-"

"I am sorry about shirt."

Sarah shrugged. "S'okay. It'll look more rock and roll with bleach stains."

Helena took Sarah's hand and ran her fingers over the bandaids.

"Why do we hurt ourselves?" Sarah said.

Helena murmured something and rested her damp head against hers. Sarah squeezed Helena's hand and leaned her shoulder against her sister's.