No one bites back as hard on their anger, none of my pain and woe can show through. But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscious seems to be.

"Azrael?" The Doctor called.

"Here," I said calmly, not raising my voice. Superior Time Lord hearing, come on, please work to this extent, "Be careful, Charles is still frightened, I just got him to calm down."

The Doctor came around the counter and stared at me and the pig, "You named the possibly dangerous alien Charles?"

The pig snorted and cuddled closer to me while I spoke to it, "You're okay, I'm here, I won't leave your side. Calm down," I comforted, "He's a friend, see?" I held out my hand for the Doctor to take, and he did after gently walking over. I guided his hand to pet the pig on the snout and soon the pig was fully relaxed.

After scanning the pig, he got up and told me to go to the TARDIS while he took the guards off of their … guard. I snickered at the shoddy pun as I gently spoke to the pig, knowing Charles didn't understand me even as I gently led him to the TARDIS. Easily walking into the TARDIS after unlocking and relocking the doors, I settle the mermaid-pig onto the pilot's seat and continue speaking and petting him.

When the Doctor entered, he stopped short at the sight of Charles, "I didn't say take the pig!" He complained.

I pouted, "Please? Druid needs a friend!" I tried. The Doctor gave me a look.

"We can't keep the pig."

"Charles loves me though! Look, he won't stop following me anyway. Please?" I begged, walking over to the Doctor, Charles following close by. I happily fed him some more pig feed, which I had gotten from the kitchen. The Doctor glared at Charles.

"He's following you because you've been feedin' him!" The Doctor disputed.

I gaped, "Nuh-uh! He followed me before I got him food!"

The Doctor crossed his arms, and I pouted, throwing my hands up, "Don't you have a poultry farm on Sexy? Surely you could let Charles stay there! We can even get him a piggie-girlfriend, have a self-sustaining TARDIS here," I tried.

He gave me a confused look, "Sexy?"

I froze, biting my tongue at the slip-up. I mean, what self-respecting fan didn't call Sexy by her name when they found it out? "U-Uh, that's my name for her… She's the best sight I've laid eyes on, so I just… Chose to call her Sexy?" I tried explaining, "I mean, not to say I'm sexually into her, just, you know, she's absolutely stunning, and like, yeah…" I trailed off awkwardly.

His look didn't fade, an odd expression on his face before he grinned at me, "Okay, her name's Sexy."

I straightened my back, one hand raising in the typical "aha", "Does that mean-"

"No."

"Awe come on!"

"Doctor!" Rose ran in, before she stopped, "You stole the alien?"

"No, Azrael did. All right, so I lied. I went and had a look. But the whole crash landing's a fake. I thought so. Just too perfect. I mean, hitting Big Ben. Come on, so I thought let's go and have a look-"

"My mum's here," Rose mentioned, and I looked over to see her mother and Mickey enter the TARDIS. I blinked. I'd be the one getting slapped, if Jackie turned to anger. I frowned. If it hurt a war-hardened alien… I bet it would sting for a few seconds, at best. The Doctor was such a pansy about stuff like that.

The Doctor turned around, seeing what I did, "Oh, that's just what me and Mrs. I-want-to-adopt-the-world over here need," The Doctor whined, "Don't you go and make this place domestic!"

"Hey! I do not want to adopt the world! I want to gain friends, there's a difference," I clarified. The Doctor was about to respond but Mickey spoke.

"You ruined my life, Doctor. They thought she was dead. I was a murder suspect because of you," Mickey accused. I rolled my eyes, speaking over the Doctor's complaints of domesticity.

"Mickey, if it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I was the one to convince her to come along, remember?" I snapped, and he glared at me.

"Yeah, thanks for that, then."

I looked to Jackie, who was gaping and staring everywhere, eyes wide when she looked at the mermig, "Jackie, ma'am, are you okay?" Her eyes found mine, "I may have lied a bit. We weren't travelling the UK, we were travelling the universe?"

She ran out in shock, and Rose followed her out. I glanced at the Doctor and Mickey arguing, before rolling my eyes. I walked over discreetly and put pig's feed in Mickey's hand once prompted to hold said hand out. He gave me a confused look.

"What's this fo- Aaagh!" He flailed back as Charles tackled him. The Doctor glanced back, snorting and went back to what he was doing.

Rose entered, having just seen what happened, "Well, that's one way to get them to stop arguing," She admitted, "So it's a real spaceship?"

"Yep."

"And a decoy alien. They put the world on red alert, I bet the spaceship wasn't injured. Something like that, something that can go in and out of the atmosphere without troubles wouldn't be hurt by that. I bet you ten dollars that it's parked, and another twenty that the alien's are trying to gather all the world's experts in one place to- to…" I trailed off.

"Invade?" Rose suggested.

"Funny way to invade, putting the world on red alert. No, I bet three quid they're gonna try killing all the alien experts off and then…" Mickey trailed off in thought.

"Invade?" Rose suggested again.

"No, with a ship like that they wouldn't need to kill the alien experts off to invade," The Doctor denied, "Slip-stream technology, you see."

"... Hm… If they aren't trying to invade, what are they trying to do?" I asked, furrowing my brow. What were they doing? I knew they tried nuking the Earth, but why again? Some sort of business… I couldn't remember. I pulled out my black notebook and checked. Oh. Selling the molten slag for fuel. Right. Fuck, my memory sucked.

"... I don't know."

I hummed, looking at Mickey after a long silence, "Who's gonna pay us if our bets are correct? Because, honestly, no one bet against us."

Mickey shrugged, "Dunno."

I nodded. Glancing at the Doctor, who was busy, I slowly, quietly let the pig follow me, "You aren't keeping 'im," The Doctor called, and I stopped with a frown.

"But why not? You let me keep Druid!" I argued.

"Druid's a plant! Charles is a pig," The Doctor countered, "Do you even know how to take care of a pig?"

I scowled, crossing my arms, "Like a dog? Feed it pig-feed, take him on walks, give him plenty of water…" I mumbled, sulking.

Rose and Mickey spoke quietly by my typical perch near the pilot's seat. I walked over to the Doctor, watching as he worked. We both were silent, but I tried focusing on what he was doing, wanting to learn. Unlike in the show, he wasn't just shuffling wires about, though that was a part of what he was doing. He was connecting some wires, disconnecting others, and kept looking to see which wires came from where. I knew he was patching through a thing for some reason, but I didn't know what or why.

An idea coming to mind, I ask a question, "Are there water-guns here?"

The Doctor shrugged, and I nodded as I wandered down the halls. As I passed a few doorways, looking in, I speak quietly to the TARDIS.

"I know you're sentient. You probably know something's wrong with me, but I really like you, and could use your help. I need a water-gun. Do you have like a weapon's room or something that has a bunch of water-guns? Or an atomic creator-thing that could make them? I need vinegar too..." I muttered under my breath. I turned the corner, sighing at the dead end. Seeing two doors at the end, I shrug and jog over to check them.

I had come across so many, I didn't expect to open the door to the kitchen. Nodding, I jogged to the other one, and stopped in my tracks as I observed an entire warehouse containing various weapons, all neon in one color or another. Grabbing a long one with a lot of tank and a few smaller pistols I grin at the gun-sash I see, and put it on, putting a few empty tanks, for the long gun had a replaceable tank, like all water-guns had, on it. I looked like I was prepared for war.

I arrived in the kitchen and tried the taps. They didn't work, and I blinked. Looks like Sexy read my mind, and I grinned as I checked around. Vinegar, pickle juice, and a few other vinegar-based things were the only liquids I could find, and I filled up the guns. All guns topped off and a few delicious pickles later and I was decked out. Jogging back to the console room, on a whim grabbing a leather trench coat that fit well enough to cover the gun's presence and made me look badass, I was met with curious gazes.

"Why do you smell like vinegar?" The Doctor asked from across the console room. My smile twitched. Heightened senses. Right.

"Sexy wouldn't give me any water to fill the water guns with, so I filled them with vinegar in spite. I guess if we cross any enemies or aliens the smell will distract them long enough to get away? Plus, it's kinda acidic in case the hostiles are…" At the stares I got I held up my bare hands, "What? There are hostile aliens and you're giving me a stare for bringing harmless distractions?"

"Is that all Americans can think of? Guns and war?" Mickey sniped.

"Murica!" I said in a deeper voice proudly, grinning at Mickey. He rolled his eyes, turning to Rose. Everyone looked as the Doctor got up.

"Right, the roads are clearing up. Let's go check that spaceship out," The Doctor said enthusiastically, clapping his hands together.

We all shuffled out of the TARDIS, Charles following. Hands raised, I watch as Mickey bolts away from the soldiers. With a hum, we're squished into one car. Charles snorts a bit at being manhandled, but follows me.

The Doctor and Rose speak a bit, but I wasn't focused. Would I really be able to kill the Slitheen? It was them or me, I recognized, but… I sighed, looking at my lap as I thought really hard. They were bad people. It was self-defense, seeing as they were planning on killing all of humanity, but… But would I be able to pull the trigger when the time came?

Another point to that, would I supply my companions with it, knowing that they'd think it harmless? Would I really put it on their psyche, to accidentally take a life? I knew I'd not want to take a life if I didn't intend to. It would scar my already burnt soul.

"You okay?" The Doctor asked, and I looked up. For a moment, it was just two souls, darkened by choices, meeting in one gaze. He looked afraid, for a moment, and I blinked.

My face grinned, and my eyes lit up, "Ye-ha, fine," I chuckled, "Downing street, yeah?"

He didn't seem to know what to say, and Rose spoke up, distracting him while I look back down to my knees. To take a life, to save so many more… The greater good. They were bad people. But killing them? No. I'd give them a chance.

My mind flickered to the Doctor far in the future, and even the one sitting just across from me. My eyes looked up, and I observed the man before me as if for the first time. In all honesty, I was seeing him for the first time. I had never observed him before, had never had the balls to look too closely at him. He was the man that made so many decisions in his life. He was the man that had to make decisions that I was struggling with every day.

His shoulders were tight, his expression seemed so light, but I could see the shadows hidden in the depths. A man carrying a big burden, I saw, and I suddenly wished it were that easy. Easy, to have nowhere to go back to. Easy to have the burden of living, instead of having the burden of never having lived. I looked out the windows, knowing what I needed to do, and knowing that I wouldn't be able to do it.

Indra was his name, wasn't it? I'd save him. It'd be so simple, to just let the Slitheen hunt. Everything turned out alright in the end, and all I'd need to do was take Indra's place. I wouldn't need to be the one pulling the trigger. I wouldn't… I couldn't let the Doctor pull the trigger, either, though.

Charles snorted, catching my attention, and I smiled at him. I fed him a bit, and allowed him to distract me. I was best at improv anyway.

"We're here," The Doctor said, Rose already out of the car. I looked at his expression, and slumped, a grin forming on my face.

"Sorry, my mood must've lowered yours," I apologized as I got out of the transport. He looked like he wanted to say something, before following me, Charles having gone before him. We walked forwards, and soon canon was back on track. I gazed, eyes blank, around. I put my hands in my leather trench coat, and I watched as Harriet Jones teared up.

"This will kill them," I told her, and handed her a water pistol, "They're… Allergic to vinegar."

Rose gave me a look when she accepted hers, "How d'you know that?"

I swallowed, "I'm… I'm an alien," I admitted, "The Doctor can't know yet, but other than that, I'm here to help. I'm here to keep people alive, and I was born and raised on Earth. Adopted by two humans at the age of six months, nothing besides me being human was a lie," I lied. I was human, damn it, "They're… the Slitheen. They're here to destroy the world for cash."

"Oooh, someone knows of us?"

I looked around to see the man I thought was Indra next to Magaret. I ran forwards while she unzipped herself, and swallowed, hand steady as I pointed my pistol at her, "This is your only chance. Leave or die," I said, pushing Indra away, who was gaping at the alien.

"Wh-what? That's the Prime Minister! Oh, god, he left earlier! What did you do?" Indra called out shakily, and I didn't have time for any of it. I stumbled back at the sheer size of the Slitheen.

"Who told you that he left, hmm?" The Slitheen said, and I stared up at the Raxacoricofallapatorian, "Me."

She reached for me, but Charles got in the way. My eyes widened, "Charles!"

I watched as Charles was crushed, frozen. No. No. No. I stared at Charles. No, please.

I should have shot.

This was my fault.

I was frozen before I was jostled into running with Indra, Harriet, and Rose when Margaret the Slitheen started shrieking. I pulled the big gun from my back and started pumping it as I ran.

No. No. Not Charles. No.

They'd pay.

I stopped, spinning around, "Hasta la vista, bitch," And I squirted her, before running more with Indra, who was the only one who had stopped for me. I gripped Indra's hand, and we were off. Harriet had stopped for some reason, but we shoved her forwards.

"Let's go, my actions mean more are coming! Rose, Indra, here," I handed them both the smaller pistols, glad that I had brought three. I had the big one. We hid, and soon a Slitheen entered the room.

"Which of you disgusting humans killed my sister," The icy tones pushed me out of hiding.

"I did. Problem?" I aimed my gun, "Leave Earth, or the same fate will befall you, you bastards."

We both stared at each other for a long moment, one other Slitheen entering, and they look to each other, before laughing. I throw an opened tank of vinegar at them, and it spun and hit both of them, me also getting covered in vinegar. Their laughs turned to shrieks as they met the same fate as Magaret the Slitheen. I turned my head as I was covered in goop.

The Doctor ran in with a fire extinguisher, before glancing at the goop. He looked to me, and I shrugged, "Vinegar seems to kill them. Convenient."

"Huh. We need to get to the Cabinet Room."

"They're going to be after us," I admitted, "They seem to be able to feel if one of their own has died."

At the Doctor's questioning glance, Indra spoke up, "She killed one after they killed a- another alien. Charles?"

The Doctor gave me a sympathetic look, but I just shrugged and handed him my last container of vinegar, "How many of these damned Slitheen are there, do you know?"

He held it awkwardly, before setting aside the fire extinguisher and walking with us back to the Cabinet Room. He handed it back to me, "No."

"Mickey has one on his end. You said vinegar kills 'em?" Rose asked. I nodded, and she was put on a call.

When we entered the room, I spoke, "Everyone besides the Doctor, go to an exit, Rose, eh," I shrugged. I was at the main door, and the other two were at the other entrances, "Keep the door open, look out for them. Don't try shooting, they'll be too close at that point. Warn if they're coming. Doctor, do what you need to do."

"Excuse me," The Doctor said politely, "Who's in charge here?"

I looked back at him, "At this point in time? Anyone giving orders that look like they know what they're doing."

The Doctor paused, before shrugging with a nod, "Fair enough."

I go back to looking down my hallway, and I see three naked Slitheen, all looking varying shades of pissed off. I hummed, throwing my last tank of vinegar. Only one got caught in the blast, and the other two started sprinting my way.

"Speaking of, two Slitheen on my end!" I called, "I don't have anything left, uhh Doctor-" I cut myself off when he appeared by my side, and they stopped short when he pointed his sonic at a bottle of booze.

"Take a step forward and I'll triplicate the flammability of this. Whoosh, we all go up in flames," They paused and the Doctor continued to speak, "Fantastic. Question time. How many Slitheen are there on Earth? What does the Slitheen race want with Earth?"

"Slitheen race?" One asked.

"You killed everyone else! There's only five of us left," The other snapped.

Only three left, then. I held up my gun, only for the Doctor to push it down. I glanced at him, before tossing it on the table behind me. No more killing, then. Five.

"We aren't a race, we're a family."

"You've got a spaceship hidden in the North Sea. It's transmitting a signal. You've murdered your way to the top of government. What for, invasion?"

"Didn't we already rule that out?" I said irritably, "They're here for business. The first Slitheen said so before I…" My voice gave out, "Before I…" Oh god. I killed. I killed four. Without- without even giving them a chance! And another died because of me.

"Go take a seat, Azrael," The Doctor ordered, and I nodded faintly before stumbling and collapsing next to Charles. I give him a haunted look, curled up against the wall.

Six dead, and five more were set out to die as well. If I had thought more, would I have been able to stop all the pointless death? Could I have chosen a more peaceful option than blatant murder?

My mouth was dry, and my eyes were drier. I hadn't blinked in a while, I noted even as I played their deaths over and over in my mind. I jumped when a hand landed on my shoulder, and Indra raised his hands, "Sorry. I just… If you didn't push me out of the way, it would've gone after me. You've saved my life. Thank you," He said, sliding down to sit next to me.

Right. I saved a life. I've saved many. Does it even out? My mind whispered. You could've told the Doctor that the Slitheen were on the planet, and they wouldn't have been able to kill anyone, let alone the extreme amount they already have. Ten Slitheen… Ten humans dead.

My fault. My fault.

"No problem, man," I accept after a small silence, swallowing and blinking a few times to get moisture to my eyes, "I'd do it again… Ch-Charles was probably going to die soon, anyway. He was just a regular pig, stitched into something he wasn't."

"Oh. So… Was what you said, about being an alien… Was that true?" Indra asked quietly. Neither of us noticed when the Doctor stopped talking to Rose and Mickey.

"Yeah," I admitted, "I'm… I was born and raised on Earth," my Earth, I'm human, please, I'm human, "but I've been told I'm not from here. That I'm alien. It just means I know more and live longer, I think," I shrugged.

My attention was caught when Jackie started speaking, "Well I've got a question for him. Since that man has walked into our lives, I lost my daughter for a year without word, creatures from the pits of hell have been in my living room, and-"

"Mum, I told you what happened," Rose cuts in.

"I'm talking to him. 'Cos I've seen this life of yours, Doctor. And maybe you get off on it, maybe you think you're all clever and smart, but you tell me. Just answer me this. Is my daughter safe?"

"I'm fine."

"Is she safe? Will she always be safe? Can you promise me that?" Jackie asked, and I stood up shakily, walking over so that she'd be able to hear me.

"No," I answered, "No, she won't be safe. She never will be. Not while crossing the street, not while eating chicken, not while getting bit by Mosquitoes that might have malaria," I sigh, "Jackie, your daughter will never be safe. Ever. Even if you wrap her in bubble wrap and hide her away in her room for the rest of eternity. No one will be. What you should be asking, is if she's happy," I turn to Rose, "Rose. Are you happy? Would you rather have never known any of this, and continued living as safe a life as you could live, or would you rather stay travelling with the Doctor and I, meeting the impossible and improbable with a smile and a quip? Are. You. Happy. Here?"

Rose gave me a deer-in-headlights look. Mickey spoke, "We're in." I gave her a sad look, and with a nod went back to Indra. He passed me the booze, and I gave it a curious look.

Wasn't it like 20 times fuller than it was? I looked at Indra, and he shrugged.

"I figured you'd need it, what with all that's happened," He explained, misunderstanding my look. With a shrug I take a swig, wincing at the burning as I hand it back.

"Is there ever any booze that doesn't taste like hand sanitizer?" I asked in disgust.

Indra laughed, "No, but some cover the flavor rather well," He took another swig. It was almost empty at this point. Isn't that, I don't know, dangerous? I thought you were supposed to take shots with that, or was I wrong? I ket out a breath and smiled with him.

We got to speaking more, and I learned that he had two kids, girls. He seemed a bit young for that, but I didn't question him as he gushed over them, showing me pictures of them and everything. At the sound of laughter, I looked over to see the Doctor closing the shuttered. I blinked, had we missed that much? I looked at my black book, before getting out my grey one and writing what changed. Slitheen-Margaret died, we were sitting in her guts with the skin suit right there, so I wondered what Boom Town was going to be like.

Margaret wouldn't have died if her opening the rift more was a fixed point in time, right? The Universe wouldn't allow it, right? How the hell did one find out what was a fixed point in time or not?

A sudden silence envelops the room, and I looked up to see everyone looking like they were thinking really hard.

"So. You're an alien?" The Doctor commented in the silence. I looked back at my books, writing more. It took a moment and Indra to nudge me before I realized that he was talking to me. I closed my two books, putting them in my backpack as I pointed at myself.

"Huh? Me?" I asked, "What?"

"He asked if you were an alien," Rose helpfully input, sounding irritated.

I blinked slowly, before shrugging, "I guess, yeah. I mean, again, I've lived on Earth my whole life. I just found out recently, and learned about any nearby planets and stuff by word," I explained, "S'how I knew of the Slitheen. They were shady n'stuff."

"The best way to tell if someone's lying is if they overexplain something," The Doctor said, pointing his sonic screwdriver at me, "What species are you?"

I blew out my cheeks, "Is this necessary? I'm a friend. A companion."

"Not for long," The Doctor said, "Identify your species."

I frowned, "Humanoid. There's no legitimate species designation for me, and if there is I don't know it," I bullshit, "Does your Sonic not scan correctly or something? Surely it could've told you that?"

He glared at me, before adjusting the Sonic and scanning me.

At the results, he dropped his Sonic, and I stared at it for a moment, before standing up. Oh. Right. I wasn't just a human of another universe here, was I?

Fuck.

"Mickey," I started, "There's a bunch of concentric circles in the corner of the- er, wait, you already did that, didn't you? Uh, hack into the Navy, and um. The password is buffalo, two f's one l, it overrides everything."

"What are you doing?" Rose asked, and I glanced at her.

"I think I broke the Doctor. Do you trust me?" She glanced at the Doctor, who still hadn't picked up his Sonic Screwdriver, and shrugged.

"Do I have a choice?" She asked.

I looked at her, "It's up to you. I could save the world, but put this entire street in danger. Your choice," I admitted, "I'm not taking more lives than I have to unless told to do so."

"Do it," Harriet demanded. I gave her a look.

"You don't even know what I'm about to do," I murmured.

"Hacking into the Navy? I have a good idea. As the only elected representative, I demand you, whatever it is, do it."

I shook my head, "The first rocket you see is to be aimed at our location on Downing Street. Don't forget to arm another one to take out the defensive missile," I explained, going off of memory.

"Okay. I got it, a sub-harpoon thing," Mickey said.

"Fire at will, just tell us so we can prepare-"

"I fired it," Mickey interrupted me.

"Great. Everyone to the closet, we're going to try and, um, what's-it-called, survive," I stated. Everyone, including Charles, in the closet, I turn to the resident frozen Doctor. Picking up his Sonic, I dragged him into the closet, closing the door and pushing him into a small corner with the rest of everyone.

Right once I sit down everything shakes like wild. Holding onto the Doctor and Harriet, who I had been sat between, for dear life, only a few moments pass before everything stopped. It's silent, and I groan.

Something heavy was on top of me, and I look to see that the Doctor was entirely knocked out on top of me. I groaned again, and everyone else started moving about as well. When the Doctor started glowing, my eyes widened.

What? What?

Oh, oh no. Fuck.

What did I do now?