Spoilers are Rude

I own nothing.

This is for emkaywho who wanted a soulmate AU with either Nine/Rose or Twelve/Rose. They left the choice up to me, so I hope they enjoy this. The title's a bit of a giveaway as to which I chose, but my brain latched onto the idea so here it is.


When the words I can't believe Dumbledore dies first appeared on his skin, he is less than impressed.

One, his cousin was never going to leave him alone about it.

Two, it meant that there was at minimum an eleven year age gap between him and whichever poor sod fate had decreed was his perfect match.

"What kind of name is Dumbledore anyway?" Donna questioned, poking at his shoulder where the messy script was written.

"How should I know?" He grunted, swatting her hand away. "Hand me the wrench, would you?"

She handed him the requested tool. "At least it's better than mine."

"Don't know about that," he was referencing the stuttered 'Hello Donna' written in painstakingly neat cursive on her forearm. "Seems like you get introduced to yours. Speech impediment aside, could be worse."

"Does the age thing bother you?" She pushed the box of random bits and bobs towards him. The last time she'd reached into it, her hand had come out covered in grease. It had taken ages to get it all off.

"Why should it?" He absently reached into the box and pulled out what he needed. He was going to get this car working before Grandad got home. Why should he care about some babe in arms that he may never meet?

He wasn't like Donna, who even at thirteen dreamed of meeting her soulmate and dragging them to the altar. She was also at the other end of the spectrum, having been born with her words already in place. Most people were, or they received their words within a year or so of being born.

Jonathan Noble didn't rightly care one way or the other. Science and machines were more interesting. So were books and history.

Donna rolled her eyes at him. She despaired at ever getting him to interact with the rest of the human race, the big eared lug. She knew he was a boy and boys were different, but annoying or not her cousin was special.

A spark arched from the part he was working on and he leapt back. Donna shrieked, tumbling off her stool and sending his cobbled together toolbox scattering across the garage floor.

He laughed. "Fantastic!"

"That's not what mum's gonna say if you start a fire in the garage again," Donna dusted herself off once she regained her feet. "If it's sparking, does that mean it's working again?"

"Think so, let's close her up and find out!" He eagerly began putting the casing back around the engine.

Rolling her eyes again, Donna opened the door. She wasn't going to let the idiot kill them in his excitement.

"Donna, are you and John about done in there?" Wilfred Mott stuck his head out of the back door. He had heard something, but far be it from him to discourage his grandchildren from trying things. If Jon could get the old girl working again, he'd just teach the boy to drive it.

"He thinks so," Donna grinned. "Jon got his soul mark!"

"Is that so?" Wilfred chuckled. That was good. His grandson needed something good in his life after the loss of his parents and home.

"Yeah-" whatever else she had planned to say was cut off by the loud BANG from the garage.

Jon stumbled out, coughing to clear his lungs of the smoke. "I'm fine!"

Wilfred ran to get the fire extinguisher as Donna dragged the protesting Jon away from the garage. Nothing was actually in flames, but probably only due to the lack of flammable material.

"I think that's enough tinkering today," Wilfred patted Jon's shoulder. "Come on lad, let's have some tea. I picked you up some new books while I was out."


It was Donna who discovered it first. She had picked up a slightly tattered copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone and opened it to begin reading. At first she didn't get why the name sounded familiar, but when she did she burst out into laughter before scowling.

"You're soulmate's rude," she proclaimed later on once they were together again.

"How are they rude?" Jon asked calmly, focused more on the manuals Wilfred had found at the second hand shop at the moment.

"Literally the first words they say to you are a freaking spoiler!" She waved her book in his face. "I know who Dumbledore is!"

He took the book from her, flipping through it to read the first chapter. "So?"

"So?!" Donna scowled at him and took her book back. "So, this is the first book in a series! There's going to be seven! If his death is major enough to be included in the first words your soulmate says to you, then it means he's a major character! Even I know that much." She had looked it up before coming over. It was nice to know things before her too-smart-for-his-own-good sometimes cousin.

Jon blinked at her. Alright, so perhaps she had a bit of a point. What was he to do about it? It wasn't as if anyone had any control over what their soul-words said. It wasn't as if he were prone to wearing silly things like sleeveless shirts and jumpers. He wouldn't be giving away any 'spoilers'.

Donna threw her hand into the air. "You're impossible!" She turned to leave, pausing in the doorway. "You can read it after I'm done!"


Despite himself, Jon did read the stack of books Donna eventually left for him. The first three were already out, the characters well established even as fans awaited the release of the fourth book. He found himself fascinated, even if he knew the fate of one of the characters.

Considering he found Dumbledore a bit daft, he found himself able to ignore it. He may or may not have read several pieces of fan work by likeminded individuals, but he admitted to nothing.

As he got older and the series finished, the movies came out and the world was consumed with the universe created by Rowling. He did not get as involved as Donna did (he supposed he was alright in being considered a Ravenclaw to her Gryffindor, although he argued her loyalty and work ethic made her a Hufflepuff), not that he would admit to in any case.

He entered the army in order to assist in paying for University. He blew things up and understood why his grandfather was proud to have never fired a single shot during the Second World War. He completed his degrees in mechanical engineering and history, moving on to working his way up to professor as he tinkered in the garage turned lab during his free time.

Jon inadvertently introduced Lee Williams to his sister. The man stuttering out Donna's words as, enamored with his face and shy demeanor, she said his without either realizing it until deep into conversation and Donna agreeing to go fishing with him the next weekend. Jon had a good laugh at the both of them, dodging the wrench Donna threw at his head.

Life went on. Donna got her dream wedding (smaller than she originally imagined, but a singularly enjoyable day nonetheless). He somehow ended up running a small bookshop near the university campus, giving history lectures and assisting an ever expanding assortment of people in various endeavors.

It was a day like any other when the blonde wondered in, ratty bag at her side as she perused the shelves. He would have greeted her like he did most customers, but he was busy dealing with a rather rambunctious red-head who had six questions for every answer he gave her. By the time he was finished with her, the blonde was nowhere to be seen.

Donna, who sometimes watched the shop while he was giving lectures, mentioned her once or twice. She called her polite and mentioned that she had found several of his hidey-holes. He never found her in any of them, although he did spot her coming and going several times over the next few months.

It was a bit silly, really, how they met in the end.

The day was overcast and threatening rain, a typical day in London during the fall really. A new semester had begun and he was avoiding a faculty meeting by being in the shop.

He heard the soft sniffles coming from his favorite reading nook on his way back from the storage room. He set the stack of adventure books down and turned the corner to look inside the little nook. It was the quiet blonde that he was always meaning to greet and never had.

"You alright?" He asked gruffly, uncertain what to do with crying women. Kids he could handle, even bothersome cousins who sometimes had more bravery than sense.

She looked up at him. "I can't believe Dumbledore dies." She swiped at her eyes. "Sorry, first time readin' it and it caught me off-guard."

He blinked at her, taking in the book on her lap opened to a well-known chapter. "It's you." Was all that he could think to say.

"What?" She looked up at him in confusion, mascara smeared a bit from her tears.

He chuckled, feeling his ears redden. "Sorry, that part's always shockin', even when you know it's comin'." He shifted. "Known since I was eleven, and it still gave me a twist when it happened."

"What?" She frowned at him, even more confused.

"Words," he blurted. "My words," he explained further. "Had no clue what they meant till my cousin threw the first book at my head all pleased with herself for figuring it out. Called you rude for spoiling it."

"Wha-oh!" She reddened this time. "I…wait…" She tugged her shirt sleeve up, revealing You alright? in his messy script. She giggled. "I suppose it is a bit rude, ruining a plot twist like that." She held out her hand. "Rose Tyler."

Jon shook the offered hand, the tingling sensation alerting the both of them they had met the right person. "Jon Noble." Now what was he supposed to do? "Tea?"

She smiled at him. "Sounds lovely." She held up the book. "Least you didn't make fun of my reading choice."

"Harry Potter is a classic," he defended stanchly. "Fantastic book for any kind of day."

She laughed. "Yea, it is. Seen any of the movies?"

That sparked a lively conversation that lasted well past tea time and ended with an invitation to join her in seeing it when it premiered later that week.

She stayed in the shop until closing. He offered her a ride home and she accepted.

By that time the rain that had been threatening all day had arrived in a steady downpour. He pointed to the beaten up old blue truck he had eventually gotten and kept working.

He grabbed her hand. "Run!"

Laughing, she did just that.


I hope this makes you smile! Happy Holidays emkaywho!