69 Hues of Mini: Marcus Fenix fucks twitter while they use a magical disregard for scientific principles birth a race of immortals.
Abort the Arthur: Buster Manwomb is aware that the structure of the title sounds derivative of Chuck Tingle's title style but you know what, Buster Manwomb hasn't actually READ any Chuck Tingle stories because Amazon Prime is for rich people and penguins and they only know him by reputation, and pleads ignorance which is applicable in a court of law on Jakku which is NOT where they are but if you do check there promise you won't check anywhere else like Peterborough because I am very high
Cherpterp uhn: Whither Orphans
Last time on 69 Hues of Mini:
"So turn out: everyone die when everyone killed. Whooda thunk?" Marcus Say.
"This not Evangelion." Ronald McDonald McSay. "Pleez stop me strangles."
PRE-SENT DAY (3.2 seconds later)
Marcus Fenix wake up in world. No Orphan BigMac Brouhaha. How? Dunno. Extra Lives maybe.
"How fuck?" Marcus Fenix confusedly. Hear no the narration: still confuse. "Was apocalypse a second ago. Why no where the meat orphans?"
"Because G-Man say, "right man + wrong time = all the difference."" Helicopter land and general walk at Marky Marcus. General who? Was Gaston from the Live Action Beauty and the Beast."Briefing in five minutes. Want ride?"
"No!" Marcus Fenix answer, because of Path of Hero's Quest.
"Plez?" Gaston from the Live Action Beauty and the Beast ask.
"Ok!" Marcus Fenix answer, because of Path of Hero's Quest.
"Fuck yes, come on." Gaston from the Live Ac-"
"Joke too long!" Pilsbury dough boy yell, shooting Gaston in vocal chords. (3/10 he does not recommend) Doughy Boi to Marcus Fenix. "Some son bitch on twitter call me fat. Twitter must die. U in?"
Marcus Fenis stare blankly. Nosebleed happen out ear.
General Pilsbury Dough Boy sigh. " The Twitter is orphan."
Marcus grab lollipop, "Shiiit [redacted], that's all you had to say!" The finger gun sealed it.
John Twitter, president of Twitter which (in case u forgot cause I sure did) is platform where some son bitch call Pilly B fat. He live in guarded compound. Statey art security, many men: only thing more plentysome than guns? anger management issues.
Marcus Fenix sneak past all: very impressive. Catch Twitter alone in bedroom. Twitter wear silky crotchless apron: any High School of the Dead girl: blushing. "Fenix, the fuck?"
"QUOTH the redhead cannibal." Marcus Talkus. "The penis is punishment." Zip. Plop. Penis look like orca with Gengar in the head stead.
"My punishment swells veiny in my jammies." Twitter say, procuring his orifices. "My butthole is champion. Like Babe in sequel: go to town."
And so Marcus Fenis pump the penis into: The sweet, sweet bump of rump. An exploit not unlike if Peter Dinklage were to be assfucked by the international space station. Having watched Infinity War and realizing that Peter Dinklage's dwarfism was just a trick of the cameras, Twitter took it like a champ.
"Formidable opponent!" Marcus the Bleh. "My greatest challenge yet"
"Motivated to challenge! Have Plan. Plan will not be fucked to halt. Must guzzle guzzle gatorade!" Twitter the chug. Delicious blue flavour: Highlander 2 of energy drinks,natural and fun for for whole family
"Holy fuck, batman!" Marcus Squeenix
And now a word from our sponsor.
Hi there. You're clearly used to making horrible life decisions. While we can't convince you that highlander 2: The Quickening is the greatest piece of media the human race has to offer without violating the Geneva Conventions, we can help you start that journey by following Buster Manwomb on twitter at BusterManwomb.
Symptoms include no discernible change in quality of life, spontaneous combustion, and the realization that your partner will no longer make eye contact with you when you fuck. If you wake up and find your penis and/or vagina on fire, sign the Non-disclosure aggreement provided on our website, then seek a doctor.
All test groups consisted of the same dumpster of Forever 21 mannequins and a gecko.