So sorry for any confusion! In making updates I accidentally replaced this chapter with a chapter from the sequel. This is the real Chapter 2!

WARNING: ATTEMPTED SEXUAL ASSAULT AND VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER BUT NOTHING EXPLICIT!


He started coming to the club every single night.

Every time Tina went up onstage, there he was, lounged in the darkened corner booth, that ever-present grin on his face. She tried ignoring him at first, making sure not to make any cracks at him again, lest she draw his attention. While working the crowd, she tried not to glance in his direction and avoided his table at all costs.

But hearing those constant pre-recorded laugh and applause tracks every other minute made ignoring him to be near impossible.

It wasn't until a week after their first meeting that she approached him after the show.

"There a particular reason why you're stalkin' me?" she demanded, placing her hands on her hips.

"I do not stalk, my dear," Alastor said, waving his hand dismissively. "Not my style!"

"Then why," she said, narrowing her violet eyes, "do I keep seein' you in here every night?"

"I'm just a fan, Miss Twinkle!" he said, batting his eyes innocently. "I can't help it if I find your performance captivating!"

She didn't even try feigning a smile this time. "Every night though?"

He cocked his head with an audible crack. "I don't see what the issue is. As I recall, this is a public venue, is it not?"

Tina blinked. "W-Well, uh, yes, but—"

"Meaning your show is open to the public, correct?"

Her mouth opened, but he kept going.

"And the purpose of your performance is for you to have an audience to watch and listen to you, am I wrong?" When she didn't respond, Alastor folded his hands on the table, wearing a triumphant grin. "Then as a patron of this fine establishment, my being here shouldn't be a problem."

Clenching her fists, Tina tried so hard not to scream. Mostly because she knew he was right. He wasn't bothering anybody. He hadn't even approached her again since that night she'd rejected him. Despite him being a smug bastard, he technically wasn't doing anything wrong. In this case, anyway.

Releasing a sigh of defeat, Tina crossed her arms. "Glad you're enjoyin' the show."

He waved as she turned her back to him. "Keep up the good work, darling!"

As the months went by, Tina started getting used to the Radio Demon's presence, expecting to see him in his usual spot. Eventually, she became comfortable enough to acknowledge him like any ordinary audience member. Occasionally, she'd throw in a tiny joke concerning him, but not enough to rile him up. She could only guess how he felt about that, as his smile made it difficult for her to know what he was thinking.

Neither one approached the other. It seemed they'd come to a silent agreement to leave each other to their own affairs, and their first meeting was never brought up again. At least, not by them.

One night, Lucifer came into Mimzy's club and was surprised to find Alastor seated in the corner. The radio demon was staring intently at the performer onstage, drumming his talons onto the table, his right hand holding his staff upright.

Tonight, Tina was dressed in a purple sequin gown that went just below her knees. The back was cut low enough to allow room for her wings. She wore a sequin headband to match, a purple feather sticking out. Every time she moved, she glittered in the spotlight, really bringing out her violet eyes. She was singing a Broadway song from her time that was quickly becoming a favorite of Alastor's.

"Hey, hobo man,

Hey, Dapper Dan,

You've both got your style," she sang, gesturing to her sparkling gown,

"But honey,

You're never fully dressed

Without a smile!"

Naturally, the corners of Alastor's mouth turned up further as she pointed to her cheeks and winked in his direction on the last word. This small exchange did not go unnoticed by the King of Hell.

"Alastor, what a pleasant surprise!"

With a creak, Alastor spun his head around, his wide eyes the only sign that he'd been startled by Lucifer's presence.

"Didn't expect to see you in here again," the Devil said as he sat across from the Radio Demon.

"I decided it was high time I support my old friend Mimzy again!" Alastor exclaimed, his eyes flitting towards Tina as she descended into the crowd.

"I see," Lucifer said, looking around. "This is one of the classier establishments down here. Between you and me, I never really found much appeal in the," he cleared his throat, "strip clubs and bikini bars. Not that I discourage public nudity, but I prefer performances that are more artistic." He glanced between Alastor and Tina. "I see you do as well."

"What can I say?" Alastor leaned his chin onto his palm. "The woman can tell a joke."

"She sure can sing as well." Lucifer grinned knowingly. "You never did tell me how that little drink you shared with her went."

"Oh, nothing to write home about!" He waved his hand. "We had a somewhat pleasant conversation, I invited her to dinner, she was disinterested!"

The Devil put a claw to his mouth. "She rejected you?! A demoness with no social status rejected you, the illustrious Radio Demon?!" He laughed heartily. "Oh, that is rich! No wonder you're so infatuated with her!"

Stiffening, Alastor turned to Lucifer with his mouth partly open. "Forgive my bluntness, Luci, but…what?"

"Don't you see, old friend? The ones who play hard to get are the best game! As a hunter yourself, surely you can understand."

The Radio Demon clutched his staff. "Excuse me, but I fail to see how her rejecting me should encourage me to pursue her as a mate."

"Do you honestly think Lilith accepted me at first?" Lucifer waved his hand. "Oh, no! She practically refused me when I first approached her! Understandably so, as she was still upset over Adam." He said the name as if it were poison. "But I persisted, and eventually, she saw that I was a much better match for her than Adam."

"Well, given there was only you, her and him on Earth at that time, I don't think she had many options."

Lucifer squinted. "All I'm saying is that you shouldn't give up so easily! You're never going to find a mate if you give up after your first rejection!"

"You still assume I want a mate," Alastor said, his patience wearing thin as he narrowed his eyes. "And why are you so interested in my love life all of a sudden?"

He chuckled. "I just worry about you, Al. Being so bored all the time, living in that big manor with more rooms than you know what to do with, all alone."

"Niffty's over there half the time!" He held up a finger before Lucifer could insinuate anything. "As my maid! And for the last time, I am perfectly content as a bachelor! I know it's in your nature to poke into other people's business, but there's no point in tempting me into anything, seeing as I'm already down here!"

When Tina finished her song, the audience applauded. Not in the mood to clap, Alastor had his microphone do the clapping for him. After a bow, she blew several kisses in gratitude. The last one seemed to be directed towards the darkened booth in the corner.

"You see?" Lucifer said, pointing his apple staff at the stage. "She might be warming up to you, old chap!"

Alastor rolled his eyes. "She's a performer! It's her job to tease the audience! In case you hadn't noticed, she was blowing kisses everywhere!"

"You still have a chance to change her mind!"

The Radio Demon grunted. It was all he could do to keep his grin up.

"I'm at a loss, Luci! What will it take for you to stop pestering me with this matchmaking nonsense?"

Lucifer leaned forward. "Get married, settle down, start a family."

Vodou symbols were floating dangerously around Alastor. This wasn't the first time he'd had a conversation like this. As much as he'd loved his mother, she was always pressuring him into finding a girl to settle down with. He'd courted a few girls, only to get her to shut up, and he never went out with the same girl twice. A couple of the more boring ones ended up as meals a short time later.

A few other Overlords he'd associated with had also brought up the question of why he didn't have someone on his arm. He'd turned down several offers from powerful demonesses and demons, as well as some obsessed fans. Why did most people assume that just because he was single, he was unhappy? After all, he didn't look unhappy! Didn't they understand that he was fine right where he was?

"At least admit that you like the girl," Lucifer said, gesturing to the now empty stage.

"Not in the way you're thinking!" Alastor said, snapping back into his chipper attitude. "After all, I wasn't the one who invited her for a drink!"

"True. But I wasn't the one who invited her to dinner afterwards."

The corners of Alastor's mouth dropped an inch, while Lucifer's went up. The Devil had him.

"I will admit, she's…interesting," the Radio Demon said, relaxing his shoulders. "She's a bold one, that's for sure." He chuckled. "I still find it humorous that you went through all that trouble to set the two of us up, only for her to reject me!" He adjusted his monocle. "Oh-ho, and the way she did it! Absolutely savage and merciless, not caring that I could easily tear her apart for saying such things! She just looked me in the eye and shut me down with as many hurtful words as possible! Honestly, it was the most entertaining thing I'd seen in—"

"There!" Lucifer shouted suddenly, pointing. "Right there! I knew it! You're positively smitten with her!"

Alastor scowled. "Luci—"

"So, you like the tough girls, eh? Oh, I know, old chap! Lilith and I can hardly go a day without engaging in heated, witty banter! It may sound like we're having a row, but we always end up on our way to the bedroom after—"

"And this is my cue to leave!" Alastor said, hastily standing up, leaving a wad of cash on the table. "Order what you want, Luci! Never darken this doorway again!"

As the Radio Demon disappeared in a puff of smoke, Lucifer kept up his grin and snapped his fingers. "You'll thank me for this later, old chap."


Tina was in the middle of changing into her casualwear when a bouquet of roses materialized on her vanity. Pressing her sequin dress to her half-exposed breasts, she squeaked and frantically glanced around the dressing room. When she was certain she was alone, she approached the bouquet cautiously.

There were at least twenty roses in the pink vase. All with thorns. She was careful not to touch them as she picked up the card nestled within them. Written in fancy red cursive was a message: Splendid performance, darling! See you tomorrow night! -Al.

Her cheeks flushed slightly at this. She was used to the occasional bouquet from fans. A few of them came with requests for dates, but rarely was it from someone she'd actually met. To receive a bouquet from Alastor surprised her, as he had hardly spoken to her since their first meeting. She'd assumed he'd given up his pursuit and had settled for just watching her perform.

Apparently, he had other things in mind.

"Nope," Tina said, picking up the vase and emptying it in the waste basket. "Not fallin' for that shit again."


She really should've waited for one of the band members to escort her home, but none of them lived anywhere near Tina's neighborhood. It was only a seven-block walk to her apartment, but a lot could happen in that distance. So, with this in mind, she walked briskly, having changed into comfortable black flats, a purple dress coat and a matching bowler hat with a white rose and ribbon. She clutched the strap of her white purse, glancing anxiously around.

The streets were eerily quiet. It may have had to do with the fact that it was only a week after the last Extermination, and Hell had yet to be overrun with new souls. Tina shivered at the memory of hearing those dreadful screams from her hiding place. They had been especially grueling with her sensitive bat ears.

She came to a much darker part of the neighborhood, with very little lighting. It wasn't a problem for a bat demon, however, having the ability to use echolocation to find her way. But instead of squeaking like normal bats did, she hummed a tune and listened as her voice bounced off the objects ahead of her.

Unfortunately, it wasn't much help in seeing what was behind her. She was too busy listening for her own sound waves to hear the footsteps approaching. Suddenly, her shoulder was grabbed and she was spun around. She could faintly make out the silhouettes of two tall figures, but not their faces.

"Can I help ya fellas?" Tina asked, trying not to sound nervous.

A few seconds after she spoke, their figures become somewhat clearer. The one gripping her shoulder was some kind of wolf demon, his friend a bear. The echolocation only really helped her see the shapes of things in the darkness, however, not the fine details. But she could feel their hungry gazes on her.

"Saw your show tonight," the wolf said with a growl.

"You were beautiful," said the bear with a much deeper growl.

Tina knew that tone.

"Thanks." She tried backing away, but the wolf's claws were digging into her skin. "If, uh, that's all ya came to say, I'll just be on my—"

"I was wondering if you'd blow me another kiss," the wolf said, pulling her closer. "Or…you know, you could blow something else."

She scowled. "I'm not that kind of performer. Now, if you would kindly let me go…"

She saw the bear's silhouette move, then heard his steps behind her.

"Come on," the wolf said, saliva dripping from his mouth. "You weren't just teasing us, were ya? And here we thought ya found us interesting."

"Well, I don't." Tina pushed against the wolf's hairy arm. "Please let go, or I'll—"

"You'll what?" the bear said with a laugh. "What's a cute little dame like you gonna do to us?"

Sighing, Tina let go of her assailant's arm. "Y'all asked for it."

Opening her mouth, she released a screech high-pitched enough to shatter their eardrums. Crying out in agony, the demons covered their ears. Tina took the opportunity to bolt.

In her haste to get away, she forgot to hum as she ran through the dark street. She didn't see the beer bottle on the ground.

Once her tiny right foot made contact with the glass, a searing pain shot through it. Screeching, Tina fell forward, landing facedown on the concrete. She could feel the glass shards piercing her foot and the lower part of her leg. There was no way she'd be able to outrun those brutes like this!

In a desperate attempt, Tina opened her wings and flapped them hard. Come on, come on, just this once, please work this just this once!

Just as she felt her body begin to rise, she was slammed back down by a hairy paw, a body sitting on top of her. Before she could scream again, the wolf covered her mouth with his other paw. She bit down on it, causing him to howl. But he did not move it away.

"You bitch!" he shouted. "Hey, Ralph! Help me teach this broad a lesson!"

Tina kicked her legs, flapped her wings, sunk her fangs further into the wolf's disgusting hand! She felt his friend's claws dig into her legs. She moaned in pain.

Just when she expected the worst to come, the weight of her assailants was suddenly lifted from her body. She gasped for breath the moment her mouth was free. From above, she could hear the whimpers of the bear and wolf, as well as a distorted voice that fit the definition of demonic.

"Now, now, boys!" The tone dropped an octave. "Is that anyway to treat a lady?"

All she saw was flashes of red, static blips in her vision like a malfunctioning television. She heard the duet of screams, the ripping of flesh, an animalistic growl, and the munching of very sharp teeth.

Tina didn't have the courage to try and use her echolocation. She just lay there stiffly, too frightened to move. Once whatever monster had saved her was done, she was most likely next.

Then there was silence for a moment. Followed by a faint smacking sound, like someone licking their fingers. A clacking set of footsteps approached her. Pushing her palms on the ground, Tina struggled to rise. Injured leg or not, she was not going to be easy prey for this creature!

Suddenly, the street became much brighter, a red glow emitting from somewhere in front of her. At her eyelevel was a pair of black tap shoes, the end of a cane beside it. Raising her head, Tina came face-to-face with the last person she'd expected to see.

The Radio Demon.

The red glow was coming from the microphone on his staff. He was staring down at her with those crazed red eyes, flashing his blood-stained yellow teeth.

What. The. Hell?!

"Well, that was a feast!" Alastor chimed as he smoothed out the front of his jacket. "I don't normally eat my meat raw, but I didn't think they were worth the time to properly prepare!" Leaning onto his cane, he bent down to Tina. "Those scoundrels didn't rough you up too much, did they, my dear?"

Closing her gaping mouth, Tina scowled up at him. "Were you followin' me?"

"Oh, heavens, no!" He placed his claw over his chest, as if he were offended. "As I'd told you before, Miss Twinkle, stalking isn't my style! I just happened to be passing by and saw the pickle you were in! Now, normally, I don't meddle in the affairs of lesser demons, but for you, chérie, I made an exception!"

Tina was having trouble processing the situation. He, the murderous Radio Demon had just saved her from being assaulted. There had to be some ulterior motive behind this.

Perhaps, he'd only saved her so he could have the pleasure of killing her himself.

She was to become more bewildered as Alastor extended his hand towards her. "Allow me to help you up, my dear!"

Not buying his act, Tina ignored his hand and pushed herself onto her knees. "I can handle myself just fine, thank ya very m—AH!"

The glass dug further into her foot the moment she put pressure on it, and she promptly collapsed. With his hand still outstretched, Alastor watched her curiously.

"Not to question your capability, Miss Twinkle," he said with a smirk, "you've already demonstrated your…unique abilities to me…"

She paused in her attempt to rise again, knowing he was referring to her sonic screech.

"But why not use your wings?"

Tina looked back at her folded wings in shame. "I, uh…I can't."

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean you can't?"

"I never learned how to fly, okay?!" she spat up at him. "It's not like these things came with a fuckin' instruction manual!"

Nevertheless, she flapped them, thinking it would make a difference. Alastor flexed his fingers, reminding her of his offer. She only glared at him in response.

"I am not some damsel in distress!"

Alastor chuckled. "Excuse me, darling, but what is this situation, if not distress?"

She huffed. "Just leave me alone, will ya?! I've dealt with enough creepy-ass fuckers tonight! So take your bloody carcasses and get outta here!"

Her behavior was certainly different from when they'd first met. While then, she'd kept up her sweet smile for the majority of the time, she had now completely dropped that mask of innocence she wore onstage. Alastor had always thought that smiles showed power. It seemed for Tina, the way she expressed her power was circumstantial. In public, her smile gave the illusion that she was unfazed by other demons' bullshit. But now, in private, she wasn't afraid to make her feelings known.

That didn't necessarily make her powerful, but it certainly made her bold.

When it was obvious she wasn't going to accept his assistance right away, Alastor retracted his hand and straightened up. "Suit yourself."

Turning on his heel, he began walking away, humming a tune and taking the glowing staff with him. Tina watched him in disbelief. Honestly, she hadn't thought the bastard would actually leave.

The throbbing in her foot soon killed her stubborn pride.

"Wait!" she called.

Alastor stopped in his tracks, grinning smugly.

"H-Help."

"Sorry?" He cupped his ear. "Didn't quite catch that!"

Hanging her head in defeat, she spoke louder. "Please help."

Victorious, Alastor spun back around. "Well, since you asked oh, so nicely!"

She refused to look at him as his shoes click-clacked over to her. As he stooped down, she lifted her hand to take his.

He surprised her again by effortlessly scooping her up into his arms. Tina gasped as he started carrying her bridal-style.

"This is…" She turned her face away to hide her blush. "This isn't necessary!"

"Nonsense, darling!" Alastor exclaimed, glancing at her bleeding leg. "Clearly, you're in no condition to be walking!" He looked around. "Where do you live?"

She scowled. "Right. Like I'm gonna tell you where I live!"

"Well," he said with a shrug, "if we can't go to your place, I'll just have to take you back to mine! You'll love it, my dear! It's a lovely manor in a sweetly secluded little swamp," his voice lowered, "miles from civilization, where no one can hear you scream."

Tina shivered at the way his eyes glowed. "Just three blocks down from here."

"Splendid!"

As he carried her through the dark street, his staff floated beside them, providing light. He kept his eyes closed, humming a jovial tune. His casualness baffled her! He'd just saved her from being raped, had devoured two demons, and was acting like nothing out of the ordinary had happened! She'd already known he was a killer, but she didn't think he'd be so calm about it!

These were dangerous arms to be in. She could feel the dampness of the fresh blood on his suit. His fanged mouth, though closed now, was but a few inches away. All it would take was for him to open it, and he could swallow her in one gulp.

So, why hadn't he? Was he too full from the thugs and just saving her for later?

Or maybe…he wanted the same thing as them.

It was the only thing that made sense. He was a man, after all. He had probably been biding his time, acting like a gentleman only to lure her into a false sense of security. Then, when he was ready to make his conquest, he would catch her off-guard.

Well, Tina was not going to let that happen. Not again.

"I threw out the roses," she said quickly.

Alastor's eyes opened, looking down at her in confusion. "Roses?"

She glared hard at him. "The roses you magicked into my dressing room. I threw 'em out."

He blinked twice. "I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about!"

"Sure ya don't." She rolled her eyes. "Look, Great Prince of the Forest, I appreciate ya steppin' in when ya did, but I don't want ya gettin' the wrong idea! I have enough shit to deal with, and am not lookin' for a relationship with a guy who'd sooner eat his dates than sleep with 'em! I'm sorry if it seems like I've been sendin' ya mixed messages onstage, but it's a show! You're no more special than those creeps ya just maimed!"

She winced at the pain in her leg. "I-I know I may not look it right now, but I'm not some helpless little girl who needs a man in her life to protect her!"

Amused by her little speech, Alastor flashed his teeth, from which he'd licked the blood clean. "I am perfectly aware, Miss Twinkle! Don't mistake me to be smitten with you! I only had that drink with you as per Lucifer's insistence! He was the one under the impression that we could start a courtship together! I don't know anything about any roses, but I suspect that was also his doing!"

Inside, he was fuming. That meddling Devil just can't keep his nonexistent nose out of my business!

"Right," Tina said flatly, clearly not believing him. "Blame the Devil. Like no one's ever done that before. You been hangin' out with Eve?"

"Rest assured, my dear!" he said, tilting his head. "The only interest I have in you is for entertainment purposes! And it would be a real shame if anything should happen to my new favorite performer!"

Tina blinked in disbelief. "Honestly?"

"Cross my cold dead heart!"

The glowing microphone appeared above his head, resembling a halo as it played a heavenly chorus. Tina only rolled her eyes in response.

"Though you are right about one thing!" His microphone disappeared as his glowing eyes narrowed in her direction. "I would sooner eat you than bed you."

The growing static in that sentence caused Tina to gulp. Then Alastor snapped back into his cheerful expression.

"But I won't! Ha-ha! That would be awfully rude, after all the entertainment you've provided me! Besides, I've already had my fill tonight!"

"Aren't I lucky?" she said with extreme sarcasm.

"Mind if I ask you a personal question?"

Tina raised an eyebrow. "Depends."

He paused dramatically before asking, "What's Tina short for?"

That wasn't the kind of question she'd expected.

"It's just Tina," she said bluntly. "After Tina Sinatra." Alastor stared at her blankly. "Daughter of Frank Sinatra?"

He cocked his head. "I've heard of a Ray Sinatra! Any relation?"

"They might've been after your time." She sighed. "Anyway, when Frank Sinatra's daughter Tina was born, he recorded a song of the same name. Ma heard it a little bit before I was born and liked it."

"Interesting." The lids fell over his eyes. "How does it go?"

She lightly poked his chest. "You'll have to figure that one out for yourself."

"Fair enough." He shrugged. "So, is Twinkle your actual surname or your stage name?"

"Stage."

"And your real surname?"

She narrowed her eyes. "You first."

"Ha-ha! Well played! But why choose Twinkle of all things?"

"Why are you so interested in all this?"

"Just trying to make conversation, dear!"

Glancing away, Tina murmured, "It's dumb."

He bent his head towards her. "Humor me."

Tina really shouldn't be revealing so much about her to him, but it had been a while since she'd really talked to anybody. Mimzy didn't prod much into her personal life, and the band members and other club staff weren't much for chitchat. Most demons she met outside of work just wanted to get into her pants. This was the first time since she'd been damned that someone had shown genuine curiosity in her.

Hesitantly, she looked back up at the Radio Demon. "Ever read Alice in Wonderland?"

"Of course!" he replied excitedly. "Wonderful classic! Mother used to read it to me at night! I particularly liked the part with the Mad Tea Party with the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, the Dormouse…"

He stopped walking, his mouth parting slightly as realization dawned on him. She regretted telling him already.

"Oh-ho-ho! I see!"

Tina yelped as he hoisted her up, catching her again with his right arm alone, so that she was sitting on the crook of his elbow. She had to clutch his shirt to keep herself from falling. Music started playing from his microphone.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat," he sang teasingly, using his free hand to creep his fingers up her arm.

"Don't," Tina warned.

"How I wonder what you're at." Alastor gave her a boop on the nose.

"Please stop," she said, covering her nose.

"Up above the world you fly…" His talons reached towards her wings.

"Shut up!" she shouted, unfurling her wings.

This was enough to get Alastor to retract his claw. "Suppose that last line doesn't apply to you though, does it?"

She sighed in exasperation. "Just kill me now."

"Ha-ha!" His voice clipped out for a second. "Don't tempt me."

After giving him a defiant glare, Tina pointed to her left. "My building's right there. Apartment 3B."

It wasn't an impressive building. The windows were broken, the shingles were falling off the roof. Alastor had to practically leap up the stairs, as many of them were missing. When they reached Apartment 3B, Tina reached for her purse to get the keys, but Alastor opened it with a snap of his fingers. The fact that he could enter any home so easily did not make this situation any less concerning.

Given that she lived alone, her apartment was expected to be small. Everything was bunched into one room, a springy couch on one side, a dusty stove and refrigerator on the other, a tiny twin cot by the window. The door to the bathroom was open, showing a grimy toilet and sink. Not even a shower in sight.

"Charming place!" Alastor said chipperly as he magically shut the door.

"Don't lie," Tina said bluntly. "It's shit."

Carefully, he set her down on the couch and reached up to switch on the lone light bulb on the ceiling. As soon as he pulled the cord, the bulb fizzed and the glass shattered. Snapping his fingers, he reassembled the light bulb and it illuminated.

"Now," he said, summoning a red velvet ottoman to sit on, "let's see what the damage is, shall we?"

Tina tensed as he lifted her injured leg onto his lap, gently removing her tattered shoe. His half-lidded eyes followed the trail of blood that had been made. Alastor closed his lips over his teeth, too late to hide the fact that he was salivating.

This was it. This was the moment he was going to devour her. Tina was sure of it, from the ravenous look in his eyes. His head lowered toward her leg. Fearing that he was going to chomp it off, Tina instinctively tucked her leg to her chest. This proved to be a mistake, as her leg was practically screaming from pain!

"Now, don't be silly!" Alastor sounded as if he were speaking to a child. "Demons may be fast healers, but you don't want your skin growing back with the glass still in there, do you?"

Having no choice, Tina slowly stretched her leg back onto his lap. "If ya bite it, nibble it, or even lick it, I'm kickin' ya."

"Fair enough," he said as he examined her leg. "My, my, you really mangled this up, didn't you? You really should get thicker shoes!"

"Does it look like I can afford new shoes?" she said, gesturing to her surroundings.

"Surely Mimzy gives you a bigger salary than this!"

Tina crossed her arms. "She pays me fine, and buys me outfits for the show. But ya know, it's hard to hold onto any money down here with so many muggers around."

"I never have any issues with muggers!"

"No shit," she said, narrowing her eyes.

Alastor straightened up. "You have any whiskey?"

Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a metal flask. "Don't judge me."

"We've already been judged, sweetheart!" he said, taking the flask with one hand and making a pair of tweezers and a cotton ball appear in the other.

"Wait, what are ya doin'?" Tina asked, leaning forward in panic.

"Disinfecting these tweezers, of course!"

She gulped as he poured some whiskey onto the cotton ball and dabbed it onto the tweezers.

"Can't you just…snap your fingers and get it all out or something?"

"Not unless you want all your wounds bleeding out at once!" Alastor flashed a sadistic grin. "Of course, if you preferred it that way, I certainly wouldn't mind!"

Relenting, Tina leaned back on the couch and shut her eyes. "Just…be gentle."

"Oh but of course!" His chuckle sounded like a radio switching stations. "I wouldn't dream of causing you pain!"

"That's bull—CRAP!" she yowled as he pulled out the first shard. "That was not gentle!"

"Oopsies!" he said in an unapologetic tone. "My bad!"

Feeling him squeezing the sole of her foot, she opened her eyes. "Now what are ya doing?"

"I have to squeeze some of the blood out to wash the bacteria away!" he said a bit too giddily. "Otherwise the wound will become infected! And down here, that can still happen!" He glanced sideways at her. "You can relax, my dear! When one lives out in the bayou, many accidents can happen! So, naturally, I've learned plenty of first-aid! Rest assured, you're in perfectly capable hands!"

The same hands that killed so many people, she thought, but bit back this retort, as he was the one holding her leg hostage.

To take her mind off the pain, Tina tried settling back, removing her purse, coat and hat. She had to bite her tongue to keep herself from screaming from every piece of glass removed. Deciding she might as well make small talk, she opened her mouth, but then paused when a thought occurred to her.

"What am I supposed to call you?" she asked. "Mr. Alastor? Mr. Radio Demon?"

"You can call me Al!" he said, gently squeezing the next wound. "I believe you've earned it! I do so hate formalities!"

Tina blinked. "You call me Miss Twinkle."

"In my day," Alastor said, taking out a glass shard and dropping it in a waste basket he'd summoned, "it was considered impolite to call a woman we weren't very well acquainted with by her Christian name. Until she granted permission to do so."

Looking down, Tina rubbed her forearm. "No one ever treated me like that when I was alive. I'd call my boss Mr. and Mrs. Whatever. I was always just Tina. Not because they knew me well or anything, but…well, because I was…"

He stopped his squeezing a moment to look up at her, momentarily taken aback by her appearance. Having removed her coat and hat, she wore a simple, cream-colored dress that fell right below her knees. Her hair had risen slightly from the static of her hat. He'd seen her onstage multiple times, but this was the first time she'd looked so…ordinary. As ordinary as a demon could get in Hell, anyway.

A strange part of him was fascinated by this image. Everyone got to see her onstage, all dolled up and dressed for a party. But this, this natural look, in a plain dress with her makeup washed off, was something only he got to see.

"What?" she said once she noticed him staring.

Alastor blinked out of his daze. "I was just wondering if you would prefer me to keep calling you Miss Twinkle."

Glancing between him and her bloody leg, she took a moment to think about it. "No. You…you can call me Tina."

"As you wish," he said, practically growling, "Tina."

Hearing her name from his lips the first time sent a tingle up her spine she couldn't comprehend.

"How often does this sort of thing happen?" Alastor asked, returning to her leg.

Tina sighed. "Once, twice a week? Usually I'm able to handle it."

"But not always," he said, using the whiskey-soaked cotton ball to clean around the wounds.

Her silence was all the answer he needed.

"Well, can't say that I blame them, with your alluring appearance." She opened her mouth to protest, but he continued. "Though those animals could do to have a little more class in their…advances." His dabbing slowed for a moment. "Your distrust in me is plenty more understandable now."

"Right." Her bitterness was back. "Nothing to do with the fact that you're the Radio Demon."

"I just rescued you, my dear." Alastor gave her a warning look as he summoned a roll of gauze to wrap her leg in. "I could've left you to those ruffians. I could've left you bleeding on the street. The least you can do is show me a little gratitude."

Tina found she couldn't argue with that. So far, he hadn't done anything to harm her. The worst he had done was tease her about her stage name. But though her leg still stung, he was being surprisingly gentle as he wrapped it. And though he was clearly resisting the urge, he hadn't attempted to taste her blood.

He really had been nothing but a gentleman, and all she'd done in return was give him sass.

Sighing deeply, Tina muttered, "Thank you."

"You're quite welcome, dear Tina!" Snipping off the bandage, he tied it firmly into place. "There we go! All wrapped up like a Christmas present! Much better than coal, don't you think? Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

She resisted the urge to smile.

"Well, after that ordeal," he said, standing up, "I could go for a nice hot drink, wouldn't you?"

"Why not?" She sighed. "You're obviously not leaving anytime soon."

"Quite right about that," he said, leaning forward to boop her on the nose, "my twinkling little bat!"

She swatted his hand away. "Don't ever call me that again."

It wasn't clear whether he'd heard her or not as he made a ruby red teacup and saucer appear in each hand.

"Coffee or tea?"

"Tea, I guess?" she grumbled.

Suddenly there was steam coming out of both cups.

"I prefer coffee myself. Do you take honey or sugar?"

She shook her head. "Don't really like anything sweet."

"Ha-ha! Me neither!" He handed her a cup. "Seems you and I have more in common than I thought."

Taking the cup and saucer, she leaned back on the couch. "I didn't murder half of New Orleans."

"Ah, but you did murder someone."

Tina's face fell as she met his glowing red eyes. They seemed to be staring into her soul.

"Oh, yes, my dear," he said, his voice dropping an octave. "I see the bloodlust in your eyes. I see it every time you go onstage." As he spoke, a low track of screams slowly increased in volume. "Every time some lustful scoundrel sends you a catcall or wolf whistle, swipes at your behind, sneaks a peek under your skirt. Behind that sweet, innocent smile you try so desperately to keep up, you want to make them pay for their indecency."

He leaned towards her, settling his hand beside her, his nose just an inch from hers. "You may threaten them with your little claws and knives. Leave minor injuries, perhaps. But when you were attacked tonight, oh, you didn't hesitate to inflict harm. That bite, those kicks, that oh, so delightful little screech of yours. If you hadn't been overpowered, you would've been merciless, because you have killed before. And I believe it's no coincidence you were granted the form of a bloodthirsty beast."

His glistening yellow teeth were now in her face. "Am I wrong?"

Throughout his monologue, Tina had sat near frozen. The only sign of movement was the shaking cup in her hand. Staring into those eyes was like staring into an endless pool of blood. Not just any blood. Blood she had spilt.

"I…" She cleared her throat. "I did kill someone. But that's not why I'm down here."

Chuckling, he patted her head. "If you say so, darling."

Tina scowled. He obviously did not believe her.

"Well, let's not let these drinks grow cold!" Alastor exclaimed, summoning a red velvet easy chair so he could sit down.

She was tempted to ask if he could replace her furniture.

At this point, Tina didn't really care if there was something harmful in the tea, so she took a sip. It was awfully bitter. Like how her day…no, her entire afterlife was going.

The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes, Tina sparing a few glances at the Radio Demon across from her. He sat up straight in the easy chair, one leg crossed over the other. His eyes closed with each tender sip he took, as if he were savoring the taste, all the while keeping his outermost finger in the air.

The man was a paradox within an oxymoron. A serial killer with the manners of a gentleman. A cannibal with the first-aid skills of a trained nurse. One minute he'd be feasting on the insides of two demons like something out of a horror story, the next he'd be carrying an injured woman like something out of a fairy tale. He could spin a whole macabre monologue on bloodlust and murder, and then drink coffee all prim and proper like he was the King of England.

The strangest part was that this was the longest she'd ever talked to a man outside of her family, without the topic of sex being brought up.

While she wasn't looking, Alastor scrutinized the bat demoness over the rim of his cup. Her mouth was still in a frown, but she seemed rather comfortable, devoid of any fear. Not that he'd detected much fear from her before. It was one of the things that fascinated him about her, how she was not afraid to insult him, or challenge him, despite it being a losing battle. She reminded him of Husk in this sense, though a little more polite. At least she made an effort not to raise her voice. And this was the longest she'd gone without insulting him.

Lucifer hadn't been completely wrong. If either party was interested, the two of them would make a fairly decent couple. He could at least carry on an intelligent conversation with her. For every comment he made, she had a clever retort ready. And they both had a similar appreciation in music and drinks.

Though in terms of company, this was all Alastor truly desired from her. He couldn't see them becoming physically intimate, and even though Tina didn't seem to mind his presence at the moment, the likelihood of her developing such feelings for him was rather small. Besides, it seemed she wanted to be left alone as much as he did.

An audible ding went off in his head as he came up with a most brilliant idea.

Perhaps, he could have his cake without having to eat it.

Tina's ear twitched, swearing she had heard a bell go off. Looking up at Alastor, she saw that he was no longer sipping his coffee, his eyes focused on her with a half-lidded gaze, wearing a wide but toothless smile. He looked like he was contemplating something, though it was difficult to tell for sure with the way he was always smiling!

"Alright, I give up," she said, careful not to spill the tea as she sat up. "If you're not here to kill me, eat me, or seduce me, what do you want?"

Curling his lips back, he revealed his teeth. "Straight to the point, I see. Ha-ha! I knew I liked you!" He set his cup down onto his saucer. "I think we can help each other."

Now she understood. "So, it's a deal ya want, then."

"Right again, my dear!" he said, uncrossing his legs as he leaned forward to set his cup down on the floor. "You're just one answer away from winning the grand prize!"

She set her own cup down beside her on the couch. "Do I look like I died this morning?"

"Au contraire, ma chère," Alastor said, leaning his left elbow onto the armrest. "You don't look a day over six months dead! Even if you do dress outside your era." He leaned his cheek onto his palm. "Not that I'm judging."

He gestured to his own outfit. Tina only narrowed her eyes, not falling for his flattery.

"I've been here long enough to know that a deal with the Radio Demon is never a smart move. There's always a catch."

"At least hear my offer before rudely shutting me down."

"Whatever you're offerin'," she said, crossing her arms, "I ain't interested."

"What if I can make it so no stalker demon ever bothers you again?"

It was a mistake to show interest, but the flinch in her face betrayed her. Alastor smiled further, knowing that he had her attention.

"H-How in the world would you be able to do that?" she stammered, her eyes wandering nervously.

The line had been cast. Now for her to take the bait.

"There are three ways I can help you!" he said, holding up three fingers dramatically. "Option One is that I vanquish every demon who follows you around! Of course, that would require me following you around everywhere you go! As your personal bodyguard, of course."

Rolling her eyes, she picked her tea back up. "What else ya got?"

"Option Two," he said, reaching out to the side to summon his staff. "I kill you. Men can't follow you if you're dead."

Her cup trembled in her hand. He said this so casually, as if it was no big deal. He chuckled at her reaction.

"Didn't think you'd be a fan of that one!" Alastor said, straightening up. "Which leaves us with Option Three!" He placed his hand over his chest. "My personal preference, I must say."

She didn't like the sound of it already.

"Don't see what can be worse than Option Two," she said, sipping her cup.

Alastor made sure all his teeth were showing. "We get married!"

Tina spat out her tea immediately, choking on the amount that had escaped down her throat. "W-What's that now?"

"We get married!" He studied his microphone. "Did this thing go out again?" He tapped it. "Testing, testing."

For a brief moment, the microphone seemed to come alive and spoke, "You heard him right, darling! He just proposed! Congratulations!"

The voice was accompanied by fanfare and the ringing of church bells.

He had to be kidding. But how could she tell if a guy who smiles all the time was kidding? Instead of focusing on his teeth, she tried focusing on his eyes. They were directed at her, almost expectantly.

He was legitimately waiting for an answer.

Tina hastily put her cup down before she could drop it. "M-Marry…why…what?!"

"Think about it, my dear," Alastor said, standing up as he began pacing, emphasizing his words with a flourish of his hands. "If you were married to the Radio Demon, no one would ever think to bother you again," his eyes glowed as his voice lowered an octave, "knowing what I'd do to them if they moved in on my territory."

His cheerful tone quickly returned. "As an added bonus," he said as he gestured to himself dramatically, "you'd have the privilege of being married to the most powerful, most eligible—not to mention, devilishly handsome—demon bachelor in all of Hell!"

As adorable as he found her hard scowl, he had to try a different tactic.

"Oh, did I forget to mention I'm also one of the wealthiest?" he said, coming up to her. "You'd be financially secure for the rest of your afterlife! Which, let's be honest here," he gestured to her rundown apartment, "would be a step up from your current situation!"

As he sat down on the couch, she moved an inch away.

"Not to deflate your ego, or anything. I mean you're," she said, clearing her throat, "p-plenty attractive, but…well, I hardly know ya!"

"And I hardly know you!" he said energetically. "We have plenty in common already!"

She scooted another inch. "I thought the point of this was for me not to have sex with a stranger."

"Oh," Alastor said, waving his hand dismissively, "you needn't worry about that silly nonsense! The most physical we'll get is hand-holding!" He chuckled teasingly as he leaned towards her. "Unless you have no objections to the occasional…peck on the cheek."

Now Tina was really confused. Did he really not want to have sex with her? Not that she was disappointed or anything, but it didn't make sense to the situation.

"So…what are you supposed to get out of this, uh…marriage?"

"Glad you asked!" Alastor crossed one leg over the other, making himself comfortable. "Luci's been badgering me endlessly about settling down! And he is, may I point out, not the first to bring the subject up! If I were married…well, he'd have nothing to badger me about then, would he? In other words," he said, propping his elbow onto the head of the couch, "I'd like to be left alone too!"

His reasoning amazed Tina. He was only marrying her so he wouldn't be pressured to be married? Or was this his way of telling her he was gay? She didn't see how that could be a problem as this was Hell, and laws against homosexuality were basically nonexistent.

"Before you ask," Alastor said, "no, I am not a homosexual! Or any sexual, really!" He made a gagging noise, which looked weird when combined with a smile. "Never touched the stuff! Don't want to! And no, there isn't a word for it! That I know of, anyway! And yes, I've seen a psychiatrist about it! Waste of time, if you ask me! Focused too much on my craving for human flesh! Ha-ha!" He growled at the memory. "I ate his kidney with pinto beans."

The way he was able to read her was amazing. The way he rambled on and on about himself was annoying.

"I don't know about this," she said bluntly. "Always considered myself a career girl, ya know?"

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of asking you to give up on your career, my sweet Tina! A talent like yours should never go to waste! You can spend your free time however you like, when I won't be needing you!"

She tried so hard not to betray how much that sentiment touched her. "But…you?!"

"Consider your options, dear!" Alastor said, waving his hand about as he spoke. "Ha-ha, as if you have any options here in Hell! The dating pool consists of the lowest, and most loathsome of sinners!"

"Right. Like bein' a serial killer and cannibal makes you a catch."

"Well, beggars can't be choosers now, can they?" he said with a smirk. "The bottom line is, do you really expect to find your one true love, your Prince Charming, your divine soulmate down here?"

He had a point. In truth, Tina hadn't even bothered trying to find a significant other since she got here. Not just because it was Hell, but because the last time she'd been involved with someone had, in a way, led her to where she was now. And she was tired of all the assholes trying to get in her pants. The catcalling and lewd comments at work, she could deal with. And it wasn't that she was completely helpless, but compared to most demons—especially the one before her—she wasn't very powerful.

To her surprise, she was actually considering Alastor's offer. Having a high social status in Hell would earn her some respect. And she could imagine how her next stalker would react once she said her husband was the Radio Demon. This caused her to think back on how he'd rescued her less than an hour ago. Would he truly be willing to protect her, even if he didn't love her? Did this mean he had some sense of honor?

It seemed shallow, marrying someone for protection. Especially after she'd already insisted that she didn't need a man to protect her. But this wasn't like on Earth where she could overpower a man using her own strength and wits. Many of the demons down here had unpredictable powers, and if she wasn't careful, she could suffer worse than the Extermination. Having Alastor on her side could at least make things a little easier for her. She wondered if he could teach her some of those magic tricks of his, perhaps even help her with her own powers. Surely he knew some other demons with wings that could teach her to fly.

He was a terrible person. Truly. But that didn't necessarily mean he'd be a terrible husband.

Of course, Tina wasn't ready to jump into a loveless marriage. At least, not without confirming a few details.

Alastor could tell she was thinking about it. He didn't mind her taking her time. He was a patient man. One had to be patient after being in Hell for over sixty years.

"Would I have to…move in with you?" Tina asked after a long period of silence.

Seeing that she was tasting the hook, he widened his grin. Now was the time to reel her in.

"Only if you think it necessary!" he exclaimed. "Though it is worth noting I have dozens of rooms at my rather large estate that I have no idea what to do with! And again," he toyed with a spring sticking out of the couch, "it would be step up from this! If you do think it convenient that we should live together, you needn't worry about sleeping arrangements as we'd have our own separate rooms!Of course, we'd have to make a few public appearances together if people are to believe that we are married!" His lips fell over his teeth. "What we do in private will be up to you."

Tina glanced sideways, not comfortable with making eye contact at the moment. "W-What if…suppose I do meet someone?"

He shrugged. "I'm not the envious sort of chap! On the off-chance you do find someone to roll in the hay with, I won't stop you! Though I suggest you be discreet about it! If word gets out that you're disloyal to me, no one would think harming you would be a threat to me!"

Seeing that she was still hesitant, Alastor leaned forward slightly. "This is a once-in-an-afterlife-time offer, my dear! Consider your answer carefully!"

She tilted her head. "You make this sound more like a business deal than a proposal."

"Most marriages are!" he said with a hearty laugh track.

"So…let me get this straight." She leaned towards him. "You want us to get married, just so you don't have to get married, but I don't have to live with you, sleep with you, or even like you? And I'd still be free to see other people?"

"That's the idea, my dear!" he said, holding his hand out to her.

She paused. "And…you'd take care of any demon who upsets me? And all I'd have to do is—"

"Say a few vows, exchange rings, sign the marriage contract in blood, and be my plus one at social events!"

"And that's it?"

He nodded. "That's all there is to it, darling!"

She was silent again. He waited.

That's right, sweetheart. Take the bait.

Tina could not believe she was doing this. She tried finding a catch. It seemed that the only one was that she'd be seeing this creep a lot more than she'd like to. Then again…perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. Even if their relationship was to be loveless and sexless, he was at least somewhat charming. Their conversations weren't boring, to say the least. And he had rescued her and taken her home, so he had some gentlemanlike qualities.

But one question remained.

"Why me?"

Alastor flinched slightly. "Why not you?"

Tina looked at him curiously. He was purposely dodging the question.

"Out of all the demons you could've gotten to be your wife," she said, locking gaze with him, "why pick me? I mean…I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not exactly a big fan of yours."

"Precisely!" he said excitedly. "So you won't have any ridiculous romantic inclinations in any of this!" He chuckled. "On a side note, I find you very entertaining! If I'm to be saddled with anyone, it might as well be with a woman who can make me laugh!"

She didn't know whether to be flattered or insulted by this. But she had run out of arguments.

Taking a deep breath, she said decidedly, "Suppose I could do worse."

Alastor grinned triumphantly. He'd caught her. Hook, line and sinker.

"So, it's a deal then?" he said, the static coming out of his voice as he held out his hand.

Tina's hair flew back as green light emanated from his hand, filling the room. She felt like she was caught in a bright green tornado. She glanced at his hand, then at his face.

His smile was a lot bigger, cockier. His furrowed brow suggested there was something sinister behind this. Perhaps he was playing her for a fool, and had been lying to her about the terms of the deal. Then again, if this was a sacred demonic deal, he couldn't break it either.

She had to make sure he would commit to this. That despite there being no love between them, he would be able to take this seriously. This was marriage, after all.

"Wait!" she cried, holding up her hand.

In an instant, the room returned to its normal colors. Alastor's eyes widened in surprise, but he graciously retracted his hand.

"Yes?" he said, batting his eyes innocently.

Fully aware that what she was doing was insane, Tina squared her shoulders defiantly. "This is hardly appropriate for a marriage proposal, don't ya think?"

He stared at her a moment. It wasn't until she held up her hand and pointed to her ring finger that he caught onto her meaning.

"Of course!" He slapped himself in the forehead. "How rude of me! After all, if this is to be the only proposal you'll ever get, it should be done properly!"

Snapping his fingers, a red velvet box appeared in his hand. Making his staff disappear, Alastor rose from the couch and got down on one knee, careful to avoid her elevated leg. Tina couldn't help the blush that came to her cheeks as he took her left hand in a surprisingly gentle fashion.

"Miss Tina Twinkle," he said, flipping the box open, "would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

The black-banded ring held a marquise-cut pigeon-blood ruby. He hadn't been kidding about his wealth. In its center was an engraved symbol of a microphone. The same microphone at the end of his staff. She understood what he meant to say with this.

This way, everyone will know you are mine.

This was it. There was no turning back now.

Having made up her mind, Tina nodded and allowed Alastor to slide the ring onto her finger.

To make it official, they shook hands afterwards.


EDIT: Had to make a few small edits when I learned that Alastor didn't like tea.

I found it weird how Alastor keeps quoting "Annie," even though the musical didn't come out until the 1970's. So, I imagine he might've heard someone else in Hell sing that song later on.

The reason I changed some details around was because I'd misremembered "Tina" by Frank Sinatra being recorded in the 1940's, when in fact it was in 1960. Since that detail was most important to the story (or at least going to be if I decide to expand upon it), I had to go back and fix it.

Well, this was the concept of my fanfic idea. If I decide to expand on this (once all my other current fanfics are out of the way), these two chapters will either serve as a prologue or prequel. But I was playing with the idea of Alastor getting tired of others pressuring him to settle down and agree to marry someone just for show. Gosh, I understand why Vivziepop has trouble writing Alastor's dialogue!