AN: Am I just a bad person?

I'm calling this a rewrite because I'm radically changing the game system (more info on that at the bottom) from what it was before and that will have an effect on the story and what I've written, even if it wasn't that much.

This story is only tentatively separate. I hope people who have read the previous version are reading this, but if you're new that's awesome. When this rewrite has the same number of chapters as the previous version I'll ask whether to replace the original with this and just have one story called Goku the Gamer out there or to leave the original version as is.

If this first chapter does not have enough of a difference for you, hold out! I don't know what's going to change either, but if this rewrite changes almost nothing, I'll just replace the original version.

Oh, and this is a little thing, but I noticed some people in the previous story had not read Dragon Ball proper. Do yourself a favor and do it for two reasons. One, it's damn good, funny too. Two, I write and read fanfiction expecting readers to be familiar with the original story. I might gloss over some things or bring up something specifically because I expect people to know what it is that I'm changing. What's coming up in a couple chapters is a great example of that.

Thank you for waiting… nearly two years for this story to get some love, I'm not that sorry since I was working on other stuff, but I'm here now and I plan on writing a lot. And remember, none of my stories are ever abandoned.

~GG~

Chapter One: First Contact

A groggy Goku woke up to a high-pitched "ping!" he opened his eyes and saw a blue screen floating about an arm-length away from his head. The screen said (Let's assume Goku has basic reading skills)

You have slept comfortably on the floor. Your HP has been restored by 75%.

Confused by the prompt, but not really caring about what it could mean, Goku turned to look at Bulma only to see that her "pillow" was in full view.

"Whoa! Well, her pillow's not as big as Grandpa's… but I can sure give it a try."

Goku proceeded to get onto Bulma's bed and lay his head on her exposed crotch. Confused at the lack of… cushioning Goku closely investigated the girl's no-no parts. Unable to see anything he took off her panties only to receive the shock of his life!

A guttural scream ripped itself from his throat, "EEEEEEYAAAAA!"

Tired, confused, and a bit scared Bulma awoke. "What!? What!? What happened!? Whatsa matter!?"

A horrified and slightly cowering Goku barely stammered out, "Y-y-y-you've l-l-lost your ba-ba-ba-ba-"

Scared, but now for her Dragon Balls, Bulma leapt out of her bed.

"I've lost my Dragon Balls?"

She then rifled through her bag in desperation and quickly found them allowing her to breathe a sigh of relief.

"What the… they're right here idiot!" She turned to Goku and in an admonishing tone yelled out, "Geez, you freaked me out! Stop having nightmares, will you?"

After everything had calmed down and Goku was back in his typical blue Gi he realized that the weird blue box was still floating around in the peripheral of his vision. Thinking that maybe Bulma will have some insight he turned to her and asked, " Hey Bulma, do ya' see the blue box over here? I don't know what it means?"

Said teen turned to see the odd monkey boy gesturing to thin air. Bulma assumed that he was playing some sort of joke on her… or that he was crazy which, from what little she knows of him, is quite possible.

"Stop playing around Goku there's nothing there."

Confused at her dismissal Goku became indignant. Lightly stomping his foot and sticking out his bottom lip he said, "But it is there! Look, it says 'You have slept com-com-comfort-ably comfortably on the floor. Your HP has been restored by 75 squiggles'… yeah."

Now Bulma was even more confused. Goku sounded as though he was reading a prompt from one of those video games she had heard about, but he was clearly an uneducated, uncivilized country bumpkin that lived alone. There was no way he had ever even heard of a video game.

Intrigued Bulma asked him, "Is there a little button like an arrow somewhere on the screen?"

"Screen?"

"The blue box Goku, oh and that squiggle after the 75? It's probably a percent sign."

Looking at the now named screen Goku found what Bulma was talking about to the bottom right of the screen. "Oh, yeah, there is."

"Press it."

"Okay… Whoa! It went away!"

"Hmmm…" Now Bulma was sure it was like a video game. 'But how? Does he have some sort of superpowers that make his life a video game? Was it like this before we met?' "Goku have you ever seen that sort of stuff before?"

"No."

A louder hmm escaped Bulma's throat. 'Magic? Gods? …the four-star Dragon Ball? He has been in close proximity to it his entire life, then what about me? Well… the one I found was in a basement… so it probably wouldn't affect me. But why now? Is it me and my balls? Hmm… this is going to take some studying.' Then a thought popped into her brilliant brain.

"Hey Goku, can you say 'stats'?"

"Uhh… okay. Stats! Whoa!" Suddenly a large blue screen appeared before Goku, and this one had a whole bunch of words on it!

"What's it say Goku?"

"A whole buncha stuff… lemme see…"

Name: Goku Son

Race: ?

Lvl: 2

HP: 395/395 (+3.95/s)

MP: 5/5 (+0/s)

KP: 79/79 (+0.079/s)

Stats - 343

Str: 82

Vit: 79

Agi: 67

Dex: 45

Per: 30

Int: 1

Wis: 0

Mnt: 0

Fth: 0

Aff: 27

Luk: 8

Chr: 4

"…that's it." Goku said after reading everything on the page.

'That's a whole lot of stuff. I don't know what half of those mean.' Bulma thought to herself. "Hey, Goku look at me for a sec."

Turning to her Goku was mildly surprised by the floating words above her head!

"Do you see anything?"

"Yeah."

Huffing angrily at his lack of tact and intuition Bulma then said through clenched teeth, "What do you see? Can you read it to me?"

"Oh! Ok. It says…"

Bulma Briefs Lvl: 2

'I'm also level two? Interesting.' Bulma shook her head. 'This is going to take way too long if I have to keep getting information second hand from this idiot. I remember some of those nerds from school talking about making a party with their friends. I wonder…'

"Hey Goku, can you say 'Party'?"

"Party! Oh… there's just a big blue box with my name and level and those bars, only reeeaallllyyyyy tiny."

'Here goes nothing' "Now say: Invite: Bulma."

"Alrighty, Invite Bulma!"

To Bulma's surprise and joy a blue box much like the one Goku described was floating in front of her. It said:

You have been invited to join Goku Son's party. Do you accept?

[Y/N]

"Hell yes! I accept!" She yelled while pressing Y for what she assumed was 'Yes'. Bulma then turned to Goku and was delighted to see floating above his head-

Goku Son Lvl: 2

'It seems odd that someone who can take bullets to the face and throw a car is the same level as me.'

"Goku, I'm going to take some time to figure this out, go do… whatever."

"Thanks Bulma, I'm gonna go train! Buh-bye." The shortstack yelled before running outside.

"You better not get lost! And be back soon… get us breakfast!" 'I'm starving, coffee is great but hopefully, the tiny Hercules will get us some wild game and he'll cook it up like last night.'

"But back to the interesting stuff. Let's start simple. Stats."

Name: Bulma Briefs

Race: Human

Level: 2

HP: 55/55 (+5.5/s)

MP: 515/515 (+0.6/s)

KP: 33/33 (+0.033/s)

Stats - 219

Str: 8

Vit: 11

Agi: 9

Dex: 23

Per: 12

Int: 103

Wis: 12

Mnt: 10

Fth: 0

Aff: 0

Luk: 5

Chr: 26

"Again, way too much. Name, Race, Level, HP, and MP are obvious. KP… I don't know. Str is Strength, Vit is Vitality, Agi is… Agility? Dex is Dexterity, Per… I'm not quite sure. Int, ha, is obviously Intelligence. Wis is Wisdom, Mnt… I'm not sure. Fth is Faith? Aff I have no idea, Luk is Luck, and Chr might be Charisma. There is no EXP bar. Odd, those nerds are always talking about Experience Points."

"But that tells me nothing. Ugh… I wish Tights was here." Bulma complained before pondering her situation further.

The screen Bulma was looking at clearly had some level of tangibility, after all, Goku had touched the arrow button that she had guessed existed. Maybe the screen was an active interface? Kind of like the hologram keyboards she had been trying to figure out in her spare time.

What if…"

Taking a chance, Bulma simply reached out and pressed on the first thing that had not made sense: KP. Suddenly, a new, smaller screen appeared.

Ki Points

Ki points measure the amount of Ki that your body can hold and what is currently stored within. Ki is made up of Vit, Wis, and Mnt. If a person has zero Ki, but continue using Ki based attacks they will instead use HP as a resource at a heavily increased cost. Ki regeneration is a fixed 0.1% per second.

"Huu… so… that Ki stuff is real, not just in the movies. Also, it's definitely a resource and if you overdo it looks like you can straight up kill yourself. That's good to know I guess."

"There is that Mnt thing again… might as well click on it." Another screen appeared.

Mental Fortitude

This stat measures a person's ability to think calmly in all situations, resist mental attacks and effects, and memory. Some, but very few, spells require or use this stat. Skills that use the stat tend to be of a less savory persuasion.

"Okay… I get it. This is an important stat… well, they probably all are."

Thinking of her hologram project Bulma tried to dismiss the two screens she had opened with a swipe of her finger… and it worked!

"This thing is great. Next is… Let's just go down the list shall we?"

Strength

This stat measures a person's raw strength. Many physical skills use this stat as a requirement and to calculate damage. Strength also measures how much equipment you can wear and how much mobility you have while wearing it.

Vitality

This stat measures a person's health. This includes things like HP (Vit*5), resistance to status effects, endurance, and HP regeneration. 0.05 HP Regen per second per point. Almost no skills use this stat to attack, but many use it as a requirement.

Agility

This stat measures a person's speed and reaction time. Many physical skills use this stat as a requirement and to calculate damage. This is at odds with Strength which is a statistic that Agility regularly overlaps with.

Dexterity

This stat measures a person's nimbleness and precision. While very few skills use this to calculate damage it is important if you want to actually land a hit. It is most useful in delicate tasks such as putting together a clock or a mechanical bomb.

Perception

This stat measures a person's ability to take in their surroundings. Perception is rarely used in either skill requirements or damage calculations, but it nonetheless important. What does it matter if you are strong, fast, and precise if you cannot perceive the threat?

Intelligence

This stat measures a person's capacity to learn and understand. It is also the most common stat used in spells both as damage and requirements. Intelligence is the stat used to calculate a person's mana pool at a rate of 5 MP per Intelligence point.

Wisdom

This stat measures a person's ability to apply their intelligence in practical ways. Wisdom is very important for many skill requirements, but less so for damage calculation. It also measures a person MP regeneration which is 0.05 per point.

Faith

This stat measures a person's trust and devotion in their patron deity. While Faith is not a stat that is used regularly, the skills that do use it tend to do so in exclusivity. A high Faith stat will also contribute to a deity's willingness to intervene in the real world.

Affinity

This stat measures a person's harmony with nature. While Affinity is not a stat that is used regularly, that skills that do use it tend to do so in exclusivity. A person with a high Affinity stat will find that sometimes Mother Nature seems to be helping out.

Luck

This stat measures a person's luck. Luck is a very general and vague stat which can have seemingly pointless and seemingly wonderous effects. Almost no skills use this stat in any way. The higher a person's Luck the better the rewards they get from loot sources.

Charisma

This stat measures a person's attractiveness and ability to persuade. This is another stat that is very rarely used in skills but is very practical in its day-to-day application. A high enough Charisma stat could even calm enemies.

"Talk about an info dump." Bulma complained as she rubbed her temples. "But it's the implications that are the most worrying. Faith means there are gods out there, Affinity suggests that nature as a whole has some level of sentience if not a whole other deity. And finally Strength having 1,000 point benchmarks means that this system is intended for that level of power. Goku is close to 100 and he threw my fucking car!"

"At least now I can look at my stats and understand what everything really means. Now it makes sense that I have zeroes in Faith and Affinity."

"But what does this really mean for me?"

The teen took some time to consider her new situation. She had a strong little monkey boy as a bodyguard, a whole database of information at her fingertips that more or less explained how the world worked, and she had three Dragon Balls. But then she remembered yesterday's kidnapping. Bulma's search for the Dragon Balls had been pretty relaxed until that moment and if Goku had not been around…

The girl shivered at the thought. 'This game? has given me the chance to never feel that way again. Right? Well, I better take advantage of it. First thing I need to do is see if I can increase my stats through normal means.'

Steeling herself for what was to come, Bulma changed into some light exercise close, which she had never used for their intended purpose, and got ready to test her theory. She then spent the next hour doing pushups. Bulma honestly was not able to do much, but she ignored her exhaustion and burning muscles and kept going until the hour was up. Upon collapsing to the floor as a sweaty mess Bulma heard a high pitched ping.

Through vigorous and continuous exercise your

Strength and Vitality have each gone up by one.

Bullma let out a long sigh of relief. "So I can gain stats by doing normal stuff. Good."

'Now what about those skills?'

~GG~

When Goku had gone out to train he ran out and grabbed a large rock. In a feat of strength he lifted the rock, which was easily three times larger than himself, and crushed it with his bare hands. This repeated itself for about an hour until Goku came upon a rock that screamed!

"What? What?" yelled the rock.

"Huh?" Goku responded before noticing the "rock" had a name.

Turtle Lvl. 1

'It's alive!' Goku thought in wonder before running back to the capsule house with Turtle still in his hands.

He then lightly tapped the door with the turtle, summoning Bulma from within.

Said teen had been looking forward to learning about what skills were before being rudely interrupted by… "What?"

"I'm terribly sorry ma'am, but can I bother you for some salt water and a spot of seaweed on the side?" asked the turtle she was suddenly face-to-face with.

"Uhhhh, wha-? I mean… okay? Let me see."

Bewildered, Bulma rushed inside and filled up a bucket with water and added a good bit of salt.

After bringing the bucket back out, she said, "I'm sorry but we don't have any seaweed…"

Not that it mattered since the moment she had placed the bucket before the turtle he started drinking like a man… err… turtle, possessed.

Upon finishing he said, "Ah… Thank you! Thank you so much! But I should explain why I'm out here, you see… I'm a turtle."

"And what am I? Blind?" An irate Bulma yelled. 'Honestly, it feels like I'm a magnet for idiots.'

Ignoring her anger and frustration Turtle continued, "I'm a sea turtle, to be precise… but I went gathering mushrooms, don't you know, and… well, dash it all! I took a wrong turn! I've been wandering about for the past year, hoping to find my way back to the sea…"

"Wow." Said Goku giving his valuable input.

Bulma on the other hand felt a bit of pity for the creature and decided to inform him of his situation.

"But you've been going in the exact wrong direction! And you've gone a long, long way!" Whipping out her trusty map Bulma figured out exactly how far they were from the ocean. "The sea is to the south… about 120 kilometers!

Absolutely flabbergasted Turtle stuttered out a reply, "120…? Oh dear, oh dear…"

Goku decided to help immediately, "Hey you want us to take you to that "sea" thing?"

Turtle lit up, "Would you really? Oh joy!"

At this point, Bulma had to interject, she only had 30 days left to find the Dragon Balls! But her retort died in her throat when a large blue screen appeared.

[Quest Alert]

To the Sea!

Description: A poor, lost sea turtle needs your help to get back home!

Objectives: Bring Turtle to the sea.

Bonus Objectives: ?

Quest Completion Rewards: +2 to Str and Vit, ?, ?, ?

Bonus Rewards: ?, ?

Quest Failure: Failure to complete Quest "Hunt for the Dragon Balls"

Accept?

[Y/N]

'Hunt for the Dragon Balls?'

To the confusion of Turtle the pretty young girl suddenly stopped moving as if to read something, then to his left the boy with the tail started yelling at the girl!

"Hey Bulma! Check dis out itsa one of dem blue screen thingies!"

"Yes, yes Goku I can see it too, remember the thing I asked you to do?"

"Uh… Yeah! Parties."

Shaking her head at the boy's overly simplistic nature she turned back to the sea turtle. "Excuse me Mr. Turtle? Can you give me and Goku a moment to discuss some things?"

Bulma then turned to Goku, grabbed one of his stubby arms, dragged him into her hoi-poi capsule house, and shut the door behind her leaving a very confused turtle behind.

Once she got him to sit down Bulma began to explain to Goku what he was seeing. "Ok Goku, can you read what the blue screen says."

"I- uh… I think." He stuttered quite unsure of himself.

"Alright… so tell me." She commanded.

And he did, rather… he tried. It quickly became evident to Bulma that his vocabulary and general knowledge of the Japanese language needed a lot of attention.

'It has to be that abysmally low Intelligence of 1 that he told me he had. But how do we fix it? There is no Experience Bar!'

Bulma then spent about 20 minutes trying to explain to Goku what the Quest prompt was telling him.

Just to be sure she had done a good job the teen asked, "Do you get it?"

Goku looked at her, then he looked at the screen, and then he looked at her. "Nope!"

"Dammit! Okay, we've left Mr. Turtle outside long enough, let's go help him. But before I do that…"

Bulma accepted the quest and then tried to mentally summon a quest page. Luckily, one appeared. The screen was divided by a small black line on the leftmost quarter of the screen. There was nothing to the right of the screen, but to the left Bulma saw a couple of words.

Main Quest

Hunt for the

Dragon Balls

Side Quests

To the Sea!

'Pretty straightforward. Now let's find out about this main quest.' Bulma thought before tapping on Hunt for the Dragon Balls.

Main Quest

Hunt for the Dragon Balls

Description: Enraptured by the prospect of getting your wish granted you have set out to find the legendary magical orbs called Dragon Balls. A wondrous adventure awaits.

Objectives: Find the seven balls

Bonus Objectives: ?

Rewards: Getting your wish granted

Bonus Rewards: ?

Quest Failure: Death and a Bummer of a Summer!

Side Quests

To the Sea!

'This is basically what I expected… NOT! Death? For this little adventure?' Bulma started freaking out, but then she remembered something. 'Wait… I already knew that. Yesterday told me that loud and clear. That's why I have Goku with me. That's why I've got to take advantage of this "game" and to do that Goku needs to stick around. Hmm…'

Bulma looked at the abnormally small boy, given his age, that she had at some point started cradling on her lap.

'He's just so huggable! Anyway, I don't play videogames, but Goku is clearly a melee fighter… and I have a gun. As long as he fights people head on I can support him with some bullets. We can do this, I WILL live.'

Her resolve set; Bulma put Goku down and opened the door for Turtle who had been patiently waiting for the entire time.

"We'll help you out buddy. But I want something good for this you hear?"

"Hmm, I'll see what I can do. Thank you for helping me though!"

"You better appreciate it! Goku! Grab this guy and let's get movin'."

"Finally!" Goku came out of the house and hoisted Turtle onto his back. "Let's go!"

"Oh my. What a strong lad." Turtle could not help but remark at the youth's display of strength. Turtle weighed about 800 pounds after all.

"He's like that." Bulma distractedly responded while she took out a motorcycle capsule and opened it. 'Thank Kami I had changed out of my sleeping shirt already or I would have missed my lack of panties! How awkward would riding a motorcycle be without panties!' Bulma chuckled to herself.

Soon Bulma was driving down the mountain road at about 60 km/h with Goku running alongside her without a problem! The wind whipping through her hair was quite pleasant and BUlma was starting to enjoy the drive. That is until it was rudely interrupted by a giant anthropomorphic bear man with a huge mohawk!

"Halt!" The bear yelled before brandishing his massive scimitar. "And how did you know that Sea Turtle was my favorite dish! Ahahaha!"

On instinct Bulma cowered in fear but then she saw what floated above the giant anthro's head.

Kumodoshi Lvl. 1

The absurd fact that this giant bandit was a lower level than she was boggled Bulma's mind. Confusion quickly overrode fear and all she could think was, 'Why?' Which seemed to summon a blue screen.

Observe

Description: Allows the user to learn information about the people and items around them.

Requirements: Play the Game

Level: 1

Type: Active

Activation Time: Instant

Cost: N/A

Range: Line of Sight

Damage: N/A

Effects: Currently only shows Name, Race, Level, HP, and MP and basic descriptions for items.

Special Effects: Observe cannot be used on people or enemies that have a Mental Fortitude stat that is more than double the user's. Observe can be blocked by special skills and circumstances.

'You're telling me to use it aren't you? Fine.' Bulma thought before saying, "Observe."

Name: Kumodoshi

Race: Beastman (Bear) (Giant)

Lvl: 1

HP: 250/1,000

MP: 25/25

'What the fuck? Why is his HP so high, but so low right now? Going off of Goku's and my HP his Vitality stat should be… 200! But that doesn't seem right. His Intelligence is 5 so he's that bright eh? But that HP is weird and why isn't he regenerating? He should have a really fast regen speed…'

Goku meanwhile had already put down Turtle and dodged Kumodoshi's first strike.

'Eh? Game's not telling me' "Goku! Kick his ass!" Bulma yelled.

Which only served to confuse the poor boy. "I was already going to do that!" He yelled back. Goku then landed behind the bear and said, "Behind you!"

"Heheheh, you're a quick little monkey I'll give you that." Kumodoshi responded before winding up another strike.

Only to be interrupted by a short burst of bullets from a certain genius.

You have dealt 51 piercing damage

"Argh! That hurt you little shit! Hehehe, I guess I could eat some little girl soup too."

Her attack served its purpose in distracting the bandit away from Goku. Said boy quickly took advantage by leaping toward the back of the bear's head and yelling an attack.

"Janken: Rock!"

Goku's slightly red fist collided hard with the back of the anthro's head.

Critical!

You have dealt 224 blunt damage

You have slain your opponent

Kumodoshi's eyes rolled up into the back of his skull before he fell forward onto the ground. Dead.

"Okay, we can go now." Goku said with a huge smile on his youthful face. 'But that red stuff was new…'

Turtle was slightly unnerved by the display, "I say… I do say."

Bulma, on the other hand, could hear nothing. 'I just helped kill a man. I mean, he was going to kill me but… but…"

"D'you really taste that good?" Goku could not help but ask.

"Th-that is… I mean… they say sea turtles are quite nasty, really… absolutely foul! Aha- ahahaha!

Goku simply shrugged and hoisted Turtle onto his back. "Well, you certainly don't look tasty." Eliciting a sigh of relief from the turtle.

Bulma was still having a breakdown, but Goku started running again. Not wanting to be surrounded by the dangerous outdoors Bulma savagely oppressed her moral quandary and started following the small boy.

'I'll see a therapist when I get back home.' She promised to herself.

~GG~

It didn't take much longer for the trio to get to the ocean. Upon arriving Turtle was absolutely ecstatic.

"You've done it lad! It's the sea! No, No! Argue all you want, but that's the sea!" he exclaimed at the top of his turtle lungs.

"Who's arguing?" Bulma asked. 'What's up with this guy, is he an NPC or something?'

"Woah, what a wide river!" exclaimed Goku.

'Seriously?'

Goku then turned to Turtle, "Must be pretty roomy huh?"

'This boy needs a kami damned education.'

Turtle ignored the idotic statements and said, "How can I ever thank you? Really, I say, such generosity must not go unrewarded!"

The old reptile continued as he swam into the ocean. "Can you wait here for just a little bit? I'll bring you back a lovely reward, really!"

"A reward?"

Bulma just shook her head in mild confusion, 'Does this guy not know how conversations work?' "I would love to see what a Turtle's idea of a reward is though."

Once Turtle had disappeared from their sight Bulma pepped up a bit. "At least now I can go swimming!" she said before running into the forest to get some privacy to change.

Goku meanwhile drank water from the ocean. "Bleh! Who put all this salt in the water?"

About an hour later, around the time Bulma was getting pruney and exiting the water, a dot could be seen coming from the horizon. A couple of minutes later Turtle had returned… with an old man on his back.

"Aloha!" Master Roshi greeted the two youths. 'Ohoho, check on the rack on that one!' He thought as he checked out Bulma in her simple white two piece bikini.

"Sorry to keep you waiting!" Turtle collowed.

Bulma rolled her eyes. 'What the hell is an old man going to give me?'

"So you helped my friend here?"

"Who are you old timer?" Goku asked.

"I? I am…. Kame-Sen'nin! The Turtle Hermit!"

"They both helped you?" Roshi asked Turtle.

"Only the lad I'm afraid."

"Turtle Hermit? Hey wait! I helped too!" Bulma protested

"Barely." Turtle scoffed.

"…Anyhow…" Roshi walked up to Goku, " Well, m'boy, we owe you one. An' I'm paying up… with a mighty nice reward!"

"Not again…" Goku grumbled as he experienced flashbacks of Bulma pointlessly showing him her panties.

Roshi then grandly gestured into the sky with his wooden cane. 'COME TO ME… IMMORTAL PHOENIX!

A whole lot of nothing happened. "Was that "immortal" or "invisible"?" Bulma asked.

"Sir, if you'll recall the unpleasantness of the tainted bird seed." Turtle helpfully reminded him.

"Gaaah, that's right! We lost the poor feller…"

"…The Immortal Phoenix died?" Bulma could not help but ask.

Roshi rubbed his chin in thought. "I was going to ask him to grant you immortality… but I guess we better scratch that… I've got it!" Roshi gestured again. "This is even better! KINTO'UN!"

Seconds later a small yellow cloud could be seen coming closer.

"Waah!" yelled Goku in excitement.

'Phew' mentally sighed Roshi.

"I-I-It's a cloud?" asked Bulma as she was barely able to believe her eyes. But she had a way to get to confirm it. 'Observe.'

Flying Nimbus

Description: A magical cloud capable of flying at high speeds. It only accepts those who are pure of heart as riders. It is controlled by the rider's will.

Type: Vehicle

Quality: Legendary

Damage: N/A

Defense: N/A

Durability: Immune to All Damage except for Evil Ki

Enhancements: N/A

'Evil Ki and Pure of Heart. Does this game have an alignment chart?' Bulma wondered.

The cloud then came to a screeching halt in front of the group.

"This is Flying Nimbus and I give it to you!"

"…How do I eat it?"

"You don't eat a magical cloud! You ride it, boy. It'll take you wherever you desire."

Bulma could no longer keep quiet about the absurdity in front of her. "Hey, why does a "Turtle Hermit" have a magic cloud? I mean, where's the logic?"

"Deal with it."

"Wow, you mean it'll really fly me?" Goku asked.

"That's the ticket boy! BUT… unless you're pure of heart, it'll never even let you on! This cloud's got standards!"

Roshi then leapt up into the air. "Here. Watch this!" And promptly fell through.

"Eeeyyaaa! My hip!" The old man screamed as he struggled to stand up.

A frantic Turtle asked, "Master… how can this be?"

Bulma was laughing her ass off.

"Surely it's defective." Turtle offered.

"Needs a little tune-up mebbe…"

Undaunted Goku leapt on as well. "Let me try!" He successfully landed on the cloud. "Woo!"

"It seems to be fixed, sir."

"Maybe just a power surge."

"Go cloud!"

Goku then pulled a bunch of sick flips and twists in the sky before coming to a stop in front of Roshi.

"This is great! Thanks a billion!"

Bulma could not hold back any longer. "Hey old timer! Gimme one too! Gimme one too!"

"Y'said the girl didn't help ya?" Roshi asked Turtle.

"Only a bit sir…"

"Hey now! Who made sure we were going the right way? Who gave you salt water? Who made sure that Goku had an easy time taking down that big guy?"

"Hmmm… I suppose ya' did do something…"

It was then that Bulma noticed the necklace the old guy was wearing.

"Hey! I'll take that thing that you've got hanging around your neck."

"This old thing?" Roshi asked before taking it off and hanging it between them. "Purty ain't it? Skimmed it off the ocean floor 'bout a hundred years back and put it in a necklace."

Bulma held the necklace in reverence. "D-don't tell me it's a… Yo, Goku, get your monkey butt down here!"

Goku listened and came down from his joyriding in front of his female companion. "What's up?"

"Look at this! Do you see it?" Bulma asked while offering the necklace.

"A Dragon Ball!"

"Then I'm right, right?"

"There's three stars in it! It must be the sanshin chuu, huh?"

Bulma then pulled her dragon radar out of her pocket and turned it on. "I kinda remember one being far to the south, but I can't believe it was so easy to find!"

"And now we've got four!"

"Hey now, who said I was giving it to you?" Roshi interjected. 'Not when I can make some money off of it.'

"Too bad old timer, you gave it to me already!"

"Well sir… you did give it to her…"

"Don't go taking their side now!"

"Knock it off old man or… Goku will kick your ass!"

"Huh?" Goku had already gotten onto the Flying Nimbus and was about to fly away again when he heard his name.

"Ohoho? You whippersnappers think you're tough, eh?" Roshi asked before settling into the Kame Style stance.

"Yeah! Goku, this guy is trying to steal the Dragon Ball!"

"What!"

"Yeah! Kick his ass!"

Goku was angry, why would that old guy try to take what he had already given them! He quickly started combat by whipping out his Power Pole and expanding it while swinging at the old man's head.

Roshi easily reacted to the attack and caught it bare handed.

"Now I haven't seen this in a long time. Wait… are you Gohan's boy?"

Goku stopped trying to yank the Power Pole from the weirdly strong old man's grip. "Gohan? You know my Grandpa?"

"Know him? I trained him!"

At this point there clearly was not going to be a fight. Roshi even let go of the Power Pole which let Goku shrink it and put it away.

But Bulma was still wary and decided to use Observe.

Observe had failed. The opponent's MNT stat is more than double yours.

'Sweet kami, that could have ended badly. Note to self, always observe an enemy.'

"Wow, Grandpa never told me that. I wonder why…"

"Eh, who cares. Hey kid, why don't we spar a little? Show me what your old man taught ya'!"

"Okay!"

You have entered a spar. Upon defeat the loser will be left with 1 HP.

Goku started the fight by dashing in and using Janken: Rock. Roshi dodged the attack without ease and retaliated with an open palm strike the overextended and wide open Goku.

You have taken 189 blunt damage

She could not see the screen Goku saw, but she could see his HP drop and what she saw scared her. 'That was almost half of Goku's health! In a single punch!'

Goku already knew all of this but it hardly mattered when he was flying through the air and trying to land on his feet. He successfully stuck the landing and braced himself for an attack, but Roshi was simply standing there.

"W-Wow, you're pretty strong, old guy." Goku spat out.

"I hope so, like I said, I taught your grandpa!" Roshi answered while doing some light stretches.

"Yeah."

Not wanting to give him anymore time Goku grabbed the Power Pole once again. Instead of just swinging it from a distance Goku used it to vault into the air. Worst case scenario he missed his aerial attack and followed up with a swing from the Power Pole.

Goku dropped onto Roshi with a hammer kick from his left leg as he had intended, but Roshi neither dodged nor did he get hit. Instead he redirected the leg to his right and into the sand below. Once again of balance Goku was unable to follow up with his staff as intended. Instead and threw out a Janken: Rock with a red-hued right hand that Roshi was unable to block.

You have dealt 90 blunt damage

Goku used the momentum from his punch to spin on the heel of the leg that was buried into the sand and followed up with a roundhouse kick which Roshi blocked with his forearm.

You have dealt 33 blunt damage

With one leg buried into the sand and the other blocked by a surprisingly sturdy arm Goku had left himself open for a brutal retaliation… if he had not had a tail.

Roshi counter attacked with a punch to Goku's exposed stomach, but instead of a clean hit the Turtle Hermit found his wrist grabbed by a tail. Goku then used his tail to spin himself away from Roshi's punch while staying connected to him.

Roshi was not thrown off balance by the failed attack, but he was not prepared to deal with the monkey boy's impressive use of his simian appendage. Goku was now above him by using his tail as a leg to stand on Roshi's outstretched arm. Thus he was unable to avoid the downward swing of the Power Pole as it connected with his bald head.

Critical!

You have dealt 291 blunt damage

Your opponent is stunned for 2 seconds

Not willing to waste the fantastic advantage he had Goku used his Janken combo.

"Janken: Rock, Paper, Scissors!" When Goku threw out his Scissors he had an epiphany. "Paper? Rock!" The first Paper extended Roshi's stun by another two seconds, but the second Paper failed to do so so Goku used a Rock and jumped away. His assault lasted ten seconds.

5 Janken strikes used! Damage increased by 15%

You have dealt 408 Damage

The Enemy has fainted

That message really surprised Goku and Bulma who was able to see it now since he had landed near her. They both watched in surprise as the geezer fell over unconscious, but their stunned reactions were not the biggest ones.

"Goodness me. Oh my. Sir? Sir! Do wake up sir!" Turtle waddled over and started gently shaking the Turtle Hermit and five seconds later he succeeded.

"Wowwee. Never in all my years has a youngin' ever gotten me so well." He hobbled up onto his feet and walked over to Goku. "You've got talent, kid. I want to train ya'."

"Uh…but I just kicked your ass?"

"Hohoho! Next time I'll take off my shell and maybe use a couple of real moves on you! You might be strong, but I've seen four different centuries!"

Despite the amazing information it was clear Goku was not quite getting it so Bulma stepped in. "Goku, I think this guy can teach you a lot. Maybe after we find all of the Dragon Balls you can come back and train with him?"

"Hmmm…. Okay."

"Great!" Roshi crowed. "You come around soon ya' hear? I live in a straight line thataway, you can't miss it if you fly over with the Flying Nimbus. See ya'!"

With that Roshi leapt onto Turtle's back and began the trip home, his mind full of thoughts about training this promising lad.

~GG~

AN: Phew! I really got into it! This chapter ended up being longer than I wanted. While I generally shoot for the 5,000 word count range I prefer first chapters to be a bit shorter so that readers aren't overwhelmed from the outset. So I cut the last bit of this chapter and am using it for the beginning of the next one which means chapter 2 should not take too long to come out.

As I said above I am radically changing the game's system and there is a lot to go over on that so this is really for you hardcore fans.

Readers might notice that this system is a fusion of two fictional game systems out there. Everybody Loves Large Chests and Stop, Friendly Fire. This is for a lot of reasons.

First off, the Gamer system from before was already starting to spiral out of control and I had just started the fic. We hadn't even gotten to the 5th chapter of Dragon Ball! That's insane! Numbers were already getting crazy and Experience was too easy to get in a world where fighting is the norm and just ugh. The future of the fic was a mess and the game was interfering with the story because I was afraid things would spiral out of control even more. It was a bad situation.

ELLC and Stop, Friendly Fire are both systems that lend themselves to long stories. In both cases their MCs can absorb skills and stats from bodies which puts them so far from the curve that it's mind boggling, but both stories make it clear that this is insane in their worlds. Dragon Ball takes place over the course of 25 years. More if you count Super, GT or even the final chapter of the manga which is 5 years after Buu or something. This time needs to pass without characters achieving the power of gods in a week or two. In both stories people die of old age without reaching higher levels because of how difficult it is and I like that.

So what's my hybrid system? We're taking the character sheet from ELLC, 12 attributes covering every bit of real world information. We're taking the leveling system from Stop, Friendly Fire which is stat based, EDIT: level 2 is 200+ stats, level 3 is 400+ stats, and level 4 is 600+ stats. The stat requirement will be increased by 200 for five levels before the stat increase will itself be increased by 200. The next couple of levels are below:

1- 0 + 200

2- 200 + 200

3- 400 + 200

4- 600 + 200

5- 800 + 400

6- 1,200 + 400

7- 1,600 + 400

8- 2,000 + 400

9- 2,400 + 400

10- 2,800 + 600

11- 3,400 + 600

12- 4,000 + 600

13- 4,600 + 600

14- 5,200 + 600

15- 5,800 + 800

16- 6,600 + 800

So every fifth level there is a jump. I wanted to do this so that characters can actually level up every so often and so that Freeza or Cell aren't level 10 or something. That's extremely underwhelming and I want to do something with level ups sp they have to happen more often. Still difficult and I'll see how it shakes out. As such Roshi's level has changed.

I'm doing this to replace the job system from ELLC. Why? A couple of reasons:

I don't think a job system would work well with Goku. He could easily be a couple of classes like Fighter or Monk, but it's also limiting because I can't not make his race a job. With all of his transformations it fits too well into his race being his job, but then would I have to make other character's jobs Human?

Not to mention I don't want to deviate ALL that much from the way Goku fights canonically… but the more I think about it the less I care. What's the point of fanfiction if you don't change things?

Err… honestly, the more I think about it the more I'm okay with jobs. That's mostly because the job system would be absolutely perfect for every single other character. It gives them direction because while the infinite possibilities and personal customization of a jobless system is great…

oh now I'm going the other way again…

I'll leave it as is. If you readers think I should ditch Stop, Friendly Fire's level system and go for ELLC's job system tell me. I might put up a poll if it becomes a big enough topic.

Part of why I like the level system is because it lets me give characters unique and relevant skills upon level up which I really like. Not to mention the Rank Up system from ELLC gets in the way of Saiyan being a job. There's no one to mentor someone through a Rank Up so everyone would have to Breakthrough or I would have to make some weird stuff up.

Oh, and Anthropomorphic people are Beastmen now, I don't know why I used that long ass name.

UGH, there's a lot to think about. Any questions you guys have just leave it in a review or PM me. Thoughtful reviews are, of course, appreciated.

Here are Kumodoshi's full stats just like last time.

Name: Kumodoshi

Race: Beastman (Bear) (Giant)

Lvl: 1

HP: 250/1,000

MP: 25/25

KP: 55/55

Stats - 170

Str: 50

Vit: 50

Agi: 30

Dex: 20

Per: 5

Int: 5

Wis: 5

Mnt: 0

Fth: 0

Aff: 0

Luk: 5

Chr: 0

Giant: Being of large stature Vitality is 4x more effective than it is for normal sized people.

Starving: HP regeneration has been disabled

Also Roshi

Name: Roshi

Race: Human (Immortal)

Lvl: 6

HP: 740/740

MP: 765/765

KP: 619/619

Stats - 1,230

Str: 125

Vit: 148

Agi: 100

Dex: 81

Per: 117

Int: 153

Wis: 276

Mnt: 195

Fth: 0

Aff: 0

Luk: 30

Chr: 5

Thx ;)