Kakashi stared at the metal surface of the building. His reflection stared back at him. Spiky silver hair. A scar running over his left eye. Both eyes a dark grey, almost black. A navy blue mask covering the lower half of his face. A forehead protector with the word "Shinobi" engraved onto it.
It was all normal.
So why, pray tell, weren't his surroundings normal?!
He looked around himself. Buildings, many times taller than even the Hokage Tower, reached up to the sky. Metal things that were faster than a horse zoomed around everywhere. People, so many people, walked around, talking into little rectangles that glowed.
And the smell - oh gods, the smell. The choking smell of smoke, smog, and other harsh chemicals burned Kakashi's sensitive nose. He filtered the air in his nose with a clever application of chakra typically used to combat gaseous toxins. Given how terrible the stench was, he'd say it was worth it.
As he regarded his surroundings, he absently recalled what had just transpired. Kaguya had been being sealed away by Naruto and Sasuke when the dimension around them shuddered and cracked and Kakashi came into contact with something. He had desperately tried to Kamui away while the thing tried to pull him in when everything had gone black for a moment and Kakashi felt as if he was in the middle of a whirlpool that just wouldn't stop.
When the world finally stopped spinning, Kakashi found himself standing in the middle of the streets in a world that was so unlike his own.
It wasn't an illusion. Kakashi had already checked, releasing a good size of his reserves in the dispel technique.
What the hell happened?
The first task was to find out where exactly he was. He walked up to the nearest person: a young man with spiky black hair and glasses who was holding up a skateboard.
"Hello there," Kakashi greeted politely. "Do you know where we are?"
The man looked at him weirdly. "Yo dude, what's with the weird accent? Why're you talking like you're in some old-fashioned samurai movie?"
Kakashi took offense to that. He was a shinobi, not some honorable samurai. Outwardly, though, he merely eye-smiled. "Maa, I'm afraid I grew up in a rather old-fashioned family, so perhaps my speech patterns reflect that," he said, effortlessly spinning up a lie. "Nothing I can do about it, I'm afraid."
"Ohhh I understand, man. Yeah, that's tough. You sound pretty cool though, not gonna lie. That mask looks sick, too. Hey, so what was your question again?"
"Where are we?" Kakashi asked. "As in, what country are we in?"
The man looked at him weirdly again. "Dude. You okay there? We're in Japan."
Kakashi stared at him blankly. "I'm sorry?"
The man started looking worried. "Umm. . . you know, Japan? In Asia? The islands? Hey, you're not from a mental asylum are you?"
Kakashi could recognize the signs of panic in the man in front of him. He merely eye-smiled again. "Yes, of course I know Japan. It was a joke."
The man relaxed. "Ohhh. Yo, this is one of those social experiments, isn't it?"
Kakashi had no idea what a social experiment was. "It is. Thank you for your cooperation."
And he walked away without looking back, his mind racing as he processed the new information.
Japan? Asia? What were those?
He selected his new victim, a girl about his age. "Hello there. Would you happen to know how to get to Fire Country?"
She stared at him, unimpressed. "If this is another lame pick-up line, then I swear..."
Kakashi held up his hands innocently. "No, it's not. I'm asking you a genuine question here. I promise."
She considered him for a moment before relenting. "I don't know what Fire Country is."
She... didn't know what Fire Country was?
He eye-smiled at her. "Thank you for the information."
...What the hell happened to him?! Where the hell was he? He couldn't possibly be in one of the remote villages because the technology he saw around him were vastly superior to even the latest advancements in Konoha. Was he even in the Elemental Nations anymore?
And so he did what any self-respecting shinobi would do when in an unknown situation: he made his way to the nearest library and started to gather information.
Kakashi walked out three hours later in a daze.
He was on a planet called "Earth." Specifically, in a continent called "Asia." The country's name was "Japan." He was in Tokyo, the capital.
As far as he could tell, there wasn't any chakra in this world. He wasn't Naruto with his senjutsu-enhanced sensing capabilities, but he was good enough to tell that everyone around him had absolutely no chakra in their systems. They didn't even have a chakra network.
Shinobi had died out centuries ago, now nothing but folklore. And even in the old stories, this world's shinobi were nothing like him.
This primary role of the shinobi of this world was intelligence gathering. They rarely saw direct combat, preferring to run the hell away whenever possible.
In contrast, Kakashi had just exited a battle against a literal goddess.
Thankfully, it appeared that this world was relatively peaceful. Sure, there were definitely hostilities, especially in the Middle East region, but nothing near Japan.
Well, okay. That wasn't exactly true. While Japan may not be involved in any international conflict, it certainly had its own problems.
Namely, ghouls. Beings that looked like humans and acted like humans but weren't actually human. Monsters that devoured human flesh. The Commission of Counter Ghoul, the CCG, was tasked to exterminate the threat.
At any rate, Kakashi hummed as he considered his options. Did he possess any methods to return to his own dimension? His double Mangekyou Sharingans were already gone, Obito's residual chakra already having been depleted, though he still pulled down his headband over his left eye for nostalgia's sake. He didn't know any jutsu or seal that would help -
His eyes widened as a thought struck him. Theoretically... He briskly walked to the nearest alleyway, made sure that there was nobody nearby, then ran through a set of familiar hand seals.
Nothing. Happened. No dogs showed up.
Kakashi sighed. Goddamnit. It appeared that he was in a different dimension that not even his dogs could reach.
For all intents and purposes, he was stuck here. He could try to throw something together with seals, but that would take time. In the meanwhile, he must survive in this new world. And to survive, he must get a job.
However, this world and his own had vast differences.
In this world, people went to school for about sixteen years. Kakashi could barely handle a single year with his classmates before he noped the hell out of there and graduated early. On top of that, the thing called a "college degree" seemed to be essential to get a good job, which required several more years of schooling.
Kakashi supposed he could also try to apply for the manual labor jobs, but even those required background checks and citizenship. Both of which he didn't have.
There was, however, one job he was certain he could get.
He could spin a lie about coming from a remote village or something. And once he demonstrated his physical abilities, they'd have no choice but to accept him. The CCG needed all the help they could get in combating ghouls, and they would be in no position to refuse recruiting someone as skilled as him. The job paid pretty well too.
And so, it was with that thought in mind that he walked toward the nearest CCG center.
Everything had been working out well enough.
He had introduced himself as Hatake Kakashi, someone looking for a job as an investigator. The receptionist looked slightly skeptical but still sent down an Investigator on the off chance that he was actually good.
The man who greeted him had been nice. When Kakashi promised him that he would be able to surpass every investigator in combat, the man had looked at him in surprise before breaking out in laughter and leading him inside the center towards the sparring arena.
Then when Kakashi walked through the metal rectangles, everything went to shit.
It started blaring. Loudly. Everyone around immediately mobilized into action, some running inside for cover, others running to cover the entrance.
The man he had been with lost all traces of friendliness, instead jumping back into the crowd of investigators that had rushed up to surround Kakashi, forming a wall. They were holding metal briefcases, something Kakashi recognized as their unique anti-ghoul weapon.
This wasn't good.
"Maa... I take it that that wasn't good?" Kakashi eye-smiled, trying to salvage the situation.
"Ghoul, I can't believe that you tried to infiltrate the CCG like that. How stupid can you be?" The man he was with said in a steely tone.
"But I'm not a ghoul! I don't know why that scanner went off, I promise! I'm human," Kakashi held up his hands in the universal gesture of surrender, his eyes wide with innocence. Typically, this carefully crafted and rehearsed expression was reserved for situations where he wasn't innocent, but this time, he actually was.
The investigators around him hesitated. What if the technology was wrong? And they were about to kill an innocent human?
"If you truly are a human," the man said, "Then cut yourself with this first."
He tossed a single pen over the wall of investigators. Kakashi caught it in one hand, looking down at it. It looked normal enough. Kakashi took off the cap. It was pretty sharp too.
Kakashi sighed. "Very well, then. If you insist."
And he stabbed down at his own hand with the pen, already bracing for the inevitable pain that would follow the piercing of his skin. He didn't even flinch. He had already stabbed himself too many times to get rid of genjutsu. He was used to the pain by now.
It didn't come. The pen tip shattered against his skin.
Kakashi looked at it in disbelief. Then he looked at the investigators around him who had taken up a stance again.
"...That wasn't supposed to happen."
"Kill him!" The man roared.
The men surged forward, their weapons glinting menacingly.
Kakashi sighed once more.
Kakashi strolled out of the CCG center with his hands in his pockets, a line of bodies collapsed behind him. All unconscious, of course. He didn't use any lethal strikes.
He frowned in befuddlement. Was he a ghoul? Had Kaguya made him into a ghoul or something? He had to test this. Walking into the nearest alleyway, he pulled out a kunai and stabbed down at his hand. It bounced off, the skin not showing any sign of damage.
Well then. That wasn't normal.
Think, what other characteristics do ghouls have? Immunity to damage from normal weapons, a kakugan, a kagune that extended from their body - and an inability to eat normal human food.
Kakashi walked out of the alleyway again. He probably should've applied a henge, but after researching this world... Well, quite frankly, there weren't any threats to him.
He was faster than bullets. Grenades were nothing but technological explosive seals. They could theoretically drop a bomb on him, but there would be a lot of civilian casualties and likely a political outrage, so there wasn't any chance of that happening.
All in all, there wasn't really anything anyone could do to him.
He was a Kage-level shinobi in a land of civilians. An S-rank. A person - no, a monster who can fight against entire villages and walk out without a scratch.
And... well, it had been quite a while since he was able to mess with people. His genin had grown up, and he even had to stop his antics in Konoha because of the Akatsuki attack. Being able to screw around with people's minds again...
Kakashi smiled underneath his mask. This would be fun.
He pickpocketed several snobbishly rich people. Rich people who would push people out of the way, rich people that would walk past beggars without a second look, rich people who had bags upon bags of clothing that even they couldn't carry so they hired people that could.
Kakashi felt no remorse stealing from these types of people.
Hey, if he was going to be a thief, then he was going to be a thief with standards.
With the new currency in his pocket, yen, he walked into a restaurant. He quickly ordered his favorites: salt-broiled saury and miso soup with eggplant.
He just fought against a goddess. He deserved some comfort food.
The waitress came with the order, balancing the tray in her hands. Her attention was focused on a wall-mounted television (the quality was amazing) in the corner of the room.
There was a dark-haired reporter talking. The headlines, "Ghoul attacks CCG Center in the 20th Ward," blazed across the screen in large, bold characters.
"A ghoul with white hair and a navy blue face mask deliberately attacked a CCG Center just minutes ago. I'm currently live on the scene, talking to one of the investigators caught in the attack," The reporter offered the microphone to the man besides her.
It was the man Kakashi had been talking to. He had several bruises already forming on his face.
The waitress set down his food, the only thing remaining on the tray being a glass of juice that Kakashi presumed somebody else had ordered.
"This ghoul is highly dangerous. If it weren't for our advanced training and determination to protect the public - " Kakashi chuckled amusedly. This was clearly a public relations spiel. Kakashi had devastated all of them, and the only reason why they weren't dead was because Kakashi didn't blame them for attacking. He was a ghoul, after all, and it was their job to kill ghouls. " - we likely would've all perished. Thankfully, we were able to avoid casualties."
Obviously. Kakashi wasn't going to kill someone on his first day in a new dimension. That would just be bad form.
The television switched back to the reporter. "We have a photo of the ghoul in question, taken from one of the CCG security cameras. If any of you see this ghoul, do not approach him. Instead, call the CCG at once."
The screen flickered before changing over to a picture of Kakashi.
"Hey, you know, that man kind of looks like you," The waitress beside him commented, focused on the screen.
Kakashi smiled in glee. Wait for it...
The waitress looked down at him, smiling reassuringly. "No offense, of course. It's just that you both - "
She froze. The tray balanced on her hand slipped from her grasp. Glass shattered on the floor, the loud sound drawing the attention of everyone in the restaurant. Every head swiveled over to stare at them.
The waitress raised a trembling finger. "Y-y-you're identical to that man..." She stammered out fearfully. "Your clothes, your posture, even your grey hair."
Every eye glanced up at the television which was still displaying Kakashi's photo.
Every eye then looked back at Kakashi. Kakashi could literally hear the gears turning in people's heads. He saw the moment everything clicked.
It was as if white chalk powder had been thrown in the room. Every face turned pale. Some started hyperventilating.
Kakashi merely eye-smiled. "Maa, I have no idea what you're talking about. The man on the television has grey hair. I have silver hair. There's a difference, you see."
Nobody was convinced; if anything, they seemed to grow even more fearful. Kakashi wrinkled his nose as one overweight man vomited onto the floor.
Oh well. Kakashi had screwed around with everyone enough. It was time for him to eat.
He broke apart the chopsticks, muttered a quick "Itadakimasu", and placed a piece of eggplant in his mouth.
Foul was the first word that came to his mind. Disgusting. Revolting. Abhorrent. The texture, once comforting, reminded Kakashi of rotting corpses. It tasted like feet and mold and spoilt milk.
He tried to keep it in his mouth but the feeling overwhelmed him. He spit it out, coughing.
No. This wasn't enough evidence. It could've just been a really low quality eggplant. He shoveled more food into his mouth, gagging at the taste. They were all disgusting. Kakashi spit it all out once more.
He grabbed the bowl of miso soup, ignoring how the hot porcelain scorched his skin, and drank from it. He didn't even last two seconds. Everything left his mouth, going back into the bowl.
His mouth burned from the heat and his tongue seemed to have curled up into itself but all of his physical reactions paled against his mental turmoil.
He had the ghoul's skin. He had the ghoul's tongue. He was a ghoul.
He was a ghoul.
He was a ghoul. A being that could only survive by devouring human flesh.
Kakashi sighed deeply, leaning back into his chair. The wood dug uncomfortably into his back but he ignored it.
This was unfortunate. Kakashi had rather liked being a human. Though it could've been worse, Kakashi reasoned. He could've been reborn as a 15-meter tall giant with no reproductive organs.
In fact, being a ghoul didn't change anything. Kakashi felt the exact same as before. The only difference now was that he had to eat humans instead of animals.
... damn. It looked like that one rumor proved to be true in the end.
Kakashi blinked. Where had everyone gone? The restaurant was completely deserted.
He heard rapid footsteps approaching from the outside. He looked outside the windows. Thirty-two men in black body armor had formed a barricade around the restaurant. He extended his senses. There were people in the back as well. Oh, there were even people on the roof. How thorough. He was blocked off from all avenues of escape.
"Squads, assemble! Jellyfish position!"
The CCG had arrived, it seemed.
"Ready... aim... OPEN FIRE!"
Kakashi's eyes widened. They couldn't possibly be -
A hail of bullets streaked into the room, punching through the windows and flimsy wood.
Kakashi flipped through the necessary hand signs in less than a second. An earth wall reinforced with chakra rose from the ground, greeting the bullets and meeting them head on.
The wall won, of course. Chakra was an amazing thing.
They stopped the assault after about twenty seconds.
"Cease fire!" Lieutenant Takeshi yelled. He had been promoted recently, and hadn't seen much action. The 20th ward was renowned for being the safest, after all.
Immediately after the attack on the CCG center, the CCG HQ had gone into an uproar. A direct attack by a ghoul. That used non-lethal measures. That didn't use his kagune - or even activate his kakugan.
It was an insult, a direct challenge to the CCG's power. HQ had quickly mobilized. Literal seconds after the attack, the CCG diverted all of the 20th ward's resources to find and take down this "Kakashi" - no doubt a fake name he had given to the receptionist.
The CCG had fully expected Codename Kakashi to melt away into the darkness. The CCG Technical Team had fully expected to spend several sleepless nights combing through all of the security footage in the 20th Ward, trying to figure out where Kakashi went.
Then, not even ten minutes after the initial attack, the CCG received multiple calls and alerts from a restaurant within walking distance from the CCG center. All of which concerning Codename Kakashi.
The CCG's dispatchers had been skeptical at first. A ghoul strolling into a restaurant in broad daylight right after a very public attack? No way. It had to be a prank.
Then all of their phones buzzed at once. They checked them - and promptly flew into action. On every social media platform were pictures of Codename Kakashi in the restaurant. An investigator not too badly injured in the attack was called over.
He made the positive face ID in a second. Then he properly looked at the picture and blanched in horror.
The CCG ignored the strangeness of the situation - after all, ghouls couldn't eat human food - and called everyone in the vicinity over.
As a result, not even 2 minutes after the initial call, 4 CCG Rapid Response Teams had converged onto the location. Investigators were on the way, presumably stuck in traffic.
Takeshi felt immense pride in the CCG. The CCG had responded impossibly quickly, showcasing a level of competency and efficiency unheard of in any government organization.
Thankfully, Codename Kakashi hadn't done anything yet. Every customer and employee had been safely evacuated from the building, leaving only Codename Kakashi inside.
Takeshi probably should've waited for the Investigators to arrive, but that would've taken too long. Besides, if the Investigators fought Codename Kakashi in melee combat, they would probably lose.
Kakashi had taken on nearly 13 Investigators by himself and walked out without a scratch.
They needed Senior Investigators - seasoned ghoul-killing experts. Unfortunately, there had been none in the 20th Ward at the moment. All of the Senior Investigators were in the other wards, where violence occurred on a daily basis.
Besides all that, Takeshi was furious. Codename Kakashi had strolled into the Center and hurt his friends. Takeshi knew the people that were injured. He had talked with them, laughed with them. And Codename Kakashi hurt them.
Which was what led him to command the Teams to unleash a lethal barrage of gunfire.
Codename Kakashi was boxed in with nowhere to go. The front entrance was covered. The employee exit in the back had a team blocking it as well. Sniper lined the rooftops, ready to shoot the second they had a clear shot.
It was the perfect setup. There was no way for Codename Kakashi to have lived.
Takeshi grinned viciously. Ghouls were the scum of the earth, and they deserved to die. Today, he helped eradicate evil.
Slowly, the dust and smoke cleared from the restaurant. The wall had been nearly completely destroyed under the force of all the bullets. No doubt the CCG would have to pay for damages.
It was worth it. Evil had to be killed at all costs.
Wait. There was movement -
Codename Kakashi calmly strolled out of the scene of destruction, hands planted in his pockets and back slightly bent in a slouch.
There was not a single hair out of place. Codename Kakashi was completely untouched.
"Maa, is this some sort of welcoming reception?" Codename Kakashi eye-smiled at them.
All thirty-two men backed away in fear. Twenty seconds of gunfire. Ten bullets per second. Thirty-two men. In total, 6400 bullets had been unleashed into the restaurant.
And this ghoul was completely untouched?!
"Fire!" Takeshi yelled again, this time out of desperation instead of righteous fury.
The men carried out his order immediately, squeezing down on their triggers. On the rooftops, the snipers finally had a clear shot, and they fired as one, bullets shooting out faster than the speed of sound.
Codename Kakashi disappeared.
"Cease fire, cease fire!" Takeshi yelled. "Where the fuck did he go?!"
They all looked around. Codename Kakashi was nowhere to be seen.
"Damnit," Takeshi cursed. He pulled out his radio and practically shouted into it. "Sniper Team 1! Do you have a visual on Codename Kakashi?"
A slight delay, a small buzz of static.
Then: "Codename Kakashi? You do realize that 'Kakashi' is my real name, correct?"
Takeshi's blood went cold. He glanced up slowly, refusing to believe it.
The men close enough to hear the radio also froze in shock before swiveling their guns upwards towards the roof.
Takeshi scanned the rooftop. Where was - there. Codename Kakashi was looking down at them with an amused smile on his face, a radio receiver held in his hand. "I see you've found me."
Takeshi growled. "What the fuck did you do to my men?"
"Nothing, nothing. I just put them to sleep for a little while. Well, I'd love to stay and talk, but I have things to do. Have a nice day~"
With one last mocking wave, Codename Kakashi disappeared again. There wasn't even a blur - one moment he was there, the next he was gone.
Kakashi exited the perfectly executed shunshin, lightly landing on the ground a good distance away from the restaurant.
He had two options now. The first was to lay low until he found a way back to his dimension.
The second was to screw around with everyone until he found a way back to his dimension.
The choice was clear.
Kakashi smirked under his mask. The CCG wouldn't know what hit them.
This is just a small idea I had.
Kakashi doesn't have the Sharingan. This is after the battle with Kaguya was won, and his double Mangekyou had already faded away.
Thank you all for reading, and please review :)