No More Hope
By BlueHot Chronicles
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of BlueHot Chronicles. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.
Happy Valentine's Day to all Don/Judy Fans, and all those readers who love Love! Contained in this story is what would be considered underage drinking in some countries.
Author: BlueHot Chronicles Published: 14-02-20
Category: TV-Show » Lost In Space Language: English
Rated: M Genre: Romance, Angst
Chapters: 1 Words: 5000
Warnings: Song-Fic, (M for) Mature Topics and Language, Bittersweet Ending
This is my concept of what I believe could have caused the complete 180 of Don and Judy's relationship in Season Two.
A female voice calls out to him, and Don turns to see Penny hurrying toward him. The young girl then grips him in a tight hug, and he bites back his grief. Don hugs her lightly, relieved that at least one of the Robinson kids cares that they might never see him again. Releasing the girl, he turns and walks away without a backward glance.
) ~ O ~ (
Driving in my car, with the wind run through your hair
I reach for you now, but you're not there.
It was a perfect time... a perfect place for us to be
The nights were so warm... you were close to me.
Was it nothing at all?
) ~ O ~ (
It was two weeks after they landed on one of the new planets in the 'Danger' constellation. Don and the Robinson family had immediately proceeded with the expansion protocols, adding an airtight pressurized shelter, due to the poisonous atmosphere on the planet.
The corn and other vegetables they'd planted were thriving, and Don had chosen a corner of the field to have his own space outside of the Jupiter. It was there he found Judy, silently crying out her frustration about their current dire circumstances.
Don grins as Judy once again stands in the open escape hatch, yelling her lungs out as he speeds down the beach. He knew now, one of her secret pleasures, and the moment they were out of sight of the Jupiter, it didn't take him long to get her up there a second time.
"Yeah! Soak it all in while you can, Doc," he yelled toward her, "we gotta head back and get crackin' on checking on those plants... or your mom is gonna have our heads."
Judy drops back to her seat with a satisfied smile on her face, and a look he found somewhat familiar.
"What? Wait, did you just...? You look like you just either ate a canary or had the best sex of your life."
"I'm just sayin'." Don flinches from her playful shove and switches between watching her and the open beach before them. "Come on, which is it?"
"For your information, I... was... just thinking that I may have been too hasty blowing off my prom."
"Oh, yeah. Trust me, you definitely missed out," Don said, totally enjoying her pout while he fumbles at the radio, "but, seeing as I'm a thoughtful kind of guy, and I just so happen to always carry my preferred music..."
Don pulls the chariot to a stop facing the sea, then selects one of his favourite Oldies. He nods his head in time with the beat as the song plays, and turns to her.
'Been all over the world
Done a little bit of everything...'
"... it's not exactly what would be playing on a typical Prom night, but go on, get back up there, Doc. Pretend I'm not even here. Oh, and one more thing."
From his pack in the back seat, Don drew out a flask, then hands it to her.
"We got fifteen minutes left, so you only get one sip."
Judy hesitantly takes the flask and looks at him with one arched eyebrow.
"Don, I'm nineteen... not old enough to drink." However, she still takes a sip and grimaces as she struggles to swallow the brew.
'I can be in love, but I just don't know,
I don't know, girl
Baby one thing is for certain...'
"Oh. My. God. That is so sad," Don says as he holds up a hand to prevent her from giving back the flask, "you know what, Princess, have another sip. Anything happens, I'll take the blame for it. There we go..."
Don takes back the flask, takes a healthy drink and quickly places it back in his pack. Judy was already hanging out the escape hatch, and Don took the chance to hurry out of the chariot after a long glance at her nearby, swaying hips.
'Girl, you're so one in a million, You are
Baby, you're the best I ever had
Best I ever had, And I'm certain that
There ain't nothing better
No there ain't nothing better than this.'
Leaning against the left front wheel of the chariot, Don stares out at the ocean and softly sings along to the music. He's not sure how long he stood there singing and staring at the water, but then a song he hasn't heard in a long time begins to play. And it wasn't one of his.
'Feels like a fire... that burns in my heart
Every single moment that we spend apart...'
Don turns to find Judy walking toward him from the passenger side of the chariot.
'There's something about you, I stare in your eyes...'
Judy stands facing him, glancing up a bit shyly, then offers her hand.
"May I have this dance?"
Don stands speechless, staring at her, and Judy hurries to continue. "Prom was your idea, Don. You can't say no, because even I know that a slow dance is always a must on Prom Night."
'All this time away... is killing me inside..."
Don pushes himself away from the chariot, boldly takes her hand, and pulls her to him with a safe space between them.
"I wasn't planning on refusing, Doc."
'Oh I wanna spend... time till it ends
I wanna fall with you again
Like we did... when we first met
I wanna fall with you again.'
It feels like they've barely begun to dance when Judy pulls her hand away from his. Don went to step back -disappointed at the brevity of the moment- when her arms slip up to his shoulders, and she lay her head on his chest.
'Baby nothing means anything unless you're here to share with me
I can breathe, I can bleed, I can die in my sleep
'Cause you're always there in my dreams...
So I wanna spend...'
Gently, Don places his hands on her back. He accidentally nuzzles her hair as he glances down at her, suddenly unsure of their proximity. He catches a whiff of a herbal fragrance that was definitely not one of the generic brands in storage.
"Don," Judy whispers, tilting her head up, still resting against his chest.
"I know this will sound... macabre considering our situation, but, I'm glad you're here."
Something stirs in his chest as he soaks in the softness of her gaze, then he smiles playfully and looks away.
"Yeah, that is macabre." Don chuckles softly at the adorable glare he glimpses from the corner of his eyes. "But I'm glad I'm here too, Princess."
'I wanna fall with you again.'
Ever since their impromptu beachside prom, Judy would suddenly show up at whatever part of the Jupiter he was conducting maintenance, to keep him company.
Sometimes Don would find her in the medical storage area, memorising the placement of each item. Then she would help him brush up on his basic First Aid instruction.
Every evening as the chores of the day winds down, Don and Judy would sit at his improvised table and sample one of his juice and whiskey concoctions.
"Oh god, what is this?"
"What? You don't like pineapples?"
"I love them, but when am I going to taste it in this… stuff?"
"Come on, Doc, it's not that strong."
"Water..." Judy leaps up and heads back into the Jupiter for said water.
"Really, Princess? You're gonna bring a literal buzzkill to the party. Buzzkill Princess!" he yells across the cornfield.
"You're gonna thank me when this buzzkill saves your life, Ingrate!"
Their conversations become more intimate as time passes. Don tells her about his parents living it up on Alpha Centauri, refusing to lift a finger to help him since he was a kid; though, to be fair, he gave them the finger first. Judy tells him about being trapped in the ice and her resulting PTSD.
At this point, their interactions when her family were around has changed. Before, Don had been okay with sending a teasing wink her, way making John roll his eyes; or the others would giggle at Judy's scoff at his daring.
That evening after dinner with the family, everyone scatters to get ready for game night. While Don shuffles a deck of cards at the table, he notices Judy staring his way and winks at her; however, this time, Judy smiles shyly at him and looks down at the table in front of her. The only one who notices is Penny, who discerns his panicky, darting gaze and mimes locking her lips and throwing away the key. Don breathes a sigh of relief.
One afternoon, while Judy spends quality time with her father, Don requests special assistance from Penny. That evening, with soft music playing in the background, Don stands at their spot in the cornfield.
He looks around to ensure that all was ready. The table was set with dinner that Penny also helped him prepare. There were virgin piña coladas because his alcohol mixing abilities needed work, and he wanted the evening to be pleasant for Judy.
Now here he was, wearing his best -and only- short-sleeved black silk shirt, black dress pants, and polished black shoes. Suddenly, Don can hear his guest approaching.
"Penny, where are you taking me? I thought we were all having a special dinner."
"No, I said you have a special dinner to attend. I said nothing about everyone else."
Just before they round the corner, Don runs a hand through his freshly washed hair, straightens up... and freezes. A vision wearing a short, black dress stood gazing around at the luminescent seaweeds Penny helped drape all over their corner.
Judy's brown skin glowed golden under the light of the battery-powered paper lanterns hanging from the seaweed-wrapped canopy above. Her hair was free from its usual bun, shiny curls framing her face.
The fitted, heart-shaped bodice of the dress left her shoulders, and most of her chest, bare to his roaming gaze; the skirt was short, flared and seemed to have layers of ... filmy looking fabric.
His lips twitched into a tiny smile at the cute low-heeled studded slippers on her feet.
Seeing her dressed like this, instead of the standard t-shirt and khakis, Don knew he was in trouble. So far, he's gotten away with minor glances at her when others weren't looking.
From now on this beautiful image -that's damned distracting- would be at the forefront of his mind whenever he saw her.
A loud throat-clearing snapped him out of his inner monologue. Yet the gorgeous, hazy vision still remained, gazing shyly back at him.
"Well," Penny drawls, her hands twined behind her back as she turns to leave, a smirk gracing her lips, "I'll just leave you two to your 'Prom'."
Judy lingers at the 'entrance' -Penny had gone all out, as their corner now looked like a small decorated room- and Don strides toward her. Then takes one of her hand in his and slips a Penny-made corsage onto her wrist.
Okay, so he owes Penny; she'd thought of the little things he wouldn't have conceived of... ever.
"You look beautiful, Princess."
A flash of light made them both startle, and they turn to find Penny slipping back out of the cornfield.
"Oh, don't mind me. Just getting a Prom Night souvenir. All part of the experience. Okay, now I'm leaving." Then Penny yells from the entrance to the Jupiter. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, kids!"
After an awkward few minutes, their easy intimacy returned, thanks again to Penny who, they guessed, had spiked the no-longer-virgin piña colada.
"Two proms in two weeks... any special reason for why I'm so lucky?"
"Well, the first one was a spur of the moment thing. Then again so was this one, but Penny helped make it look like I didn't plan it this morning."
"I'll have to thank Penny then."
"No, you thank me. I'll thank Penny for her help... here and there."
"Here, there... everywhere?"
Don chuckles as he places their empty dishes aside and refills their drinks.
"Damn, I can't even take credit, you know your sister."
"I do know my sister, quite well too. Her decorating talents are legendary in the Robinson family."
They've both unconsciously lean toward each other over the table during their conversations. Deep down, Don desires this opportunity to explore their flirty glances while they were alone. Part of him believes that Judy does it because she feels secure from his advances when the other Robinsons were around.
Their evening together so far proves his beliefs wrong as Judy keeps finding reasons to touch his hand lightly. Her gaze is as flirtatious as the past couple of weeks. Don realises that he's been staring into her eyes for longer than was necessary and looks away.
'Tell me your secret
I don't just want to know about any secret of yours
I wanna know about one special secret'
His gaze falls on his portable speakers and he stands, holding out a hand to her.
"May I have this dance, Princess?"
Judy takes his hand and stands, and this time, she instantly encloses her hands at the nape of his neck, plastering her body against his. Don smirks at her brazenness and holds her tenderly.
'I wanna read your mind
Know your deepest feelings
I wanna make it right for you...'
Her body slithered, slowly, sensually against his and Don bites back a frustrated groan. The friction of their bodies is becoming hard for him to ignore.
"You have no idea what you're doing to me, Princess." Don hisses, his face buried in the soft fragrant curls covering her ear.
'Come on, come on, Come on, come on
Listen to your heart tonight...'
Suddenly, her lips were pressed against his ear and her warm breath whispers across his senses.
"Maybe I do, Don."
Clearly, the spiked drink was having an effect on her; if he'd still been the man he was before meeting her, Don would have gladly hiked her up by her waist... let her wrap her legs around his hips...
Blood rushes to parts of his body she was currently making slow, small, gliding movements against.
"Oh, god!" Don moans softly, and his grip holding her against him tightens.
To return the favour, Don holds her hair aside and attach his lips to the exposed softness at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. Swirling the tip of his tongue against the silky skin.
'Here in the garden where temptations feel so right
Passion can make you fall from what you feel…'
Judy's breathy moans break through his fog of desire, and Don becomes aware of her grabbing at his the front of his shirt, her other hand in his hair, holding his head against her.
"Shit, Judy, I'm so sorry."
Don quickly releases her, his disgust at himself intensifies when she wobbles slightly, raising a shaky hand to her neck; her intoxication obvious.
"Why did you stop?" she asks, biting her lower lip as she gazes up at him confused.
Don's gaze is swiftly drawn to her pouty lips, and he steps back.
"Go... go to your room, Doc. I, uh, it's getting late and it's best if no one has to come looking for you."
He recognises drunken confusion, and lifting a hand to her face, he cups it gently.
"Judy, go inside and go to bed. Get some sleep."
Judy nods and turns to go, then turns back, her eyes blinking slowly as she looks up at him.
"Don't... um, you don't want me?"
So much it hurts.
"Just go to bed, Doc, we'll talk about it tomorrow after you've rested."
When she was gone, Don collapses into his seat, closes his eyes and leans back against the 'table'.
God, how he wanted her; the caring, brave, spitfire, Princess... who deserved Prince Charming, not...
Suddenly, warm lips press against his own, and his eyes shoot open to find Judy standing with one of her legs between his.
"This is one of those prom activities you clearly forgot about, Don, kissing your date goodnight," Judy whispers against his lips. She kept pressing soft smooches against his mouth, and Don picks up on her inexperience.
"Goodnight, Judy." Don shakes off his stupor, holding back his need to deepen her delicious caresses; he had yet to move an inch from his position. "Go to bed."
Judy ignores him, and more importantly, she's a quick learner. His lower lip is now being nibbled and sucked, and he can't prevent a low groan.
He opens his eyes, heart, ready to burst from his chest, and there in her eyes was a need that calls to his. One moment Don was looking up at heated brown eyes, the next he has Judy laying on the sturdy makeshift table. Ravishing her lips, parting them with his tongue and savouring the luscious, hot cavern of her mouth.
'Do you like it when I take it nice and slow
Do you like it when I make you call for more'
Softs moans escape them both as Don pushes his trapped bulge against her heated centre.
His lips skim across her jaw to lick and nibble at her neck, then nipping lower to feast on the bare mounds of her breasts. A hand drags its way along one of her legs, grazing her thigh. Sliding her leg outward, Don grips her panties, he shifts it aside and grazes a finger against the sensitive flesh there.
Judy's hips buck, and she clutches his shirt, whimpering at the onslaught of his lips hand and fingers.
"Oh...god, Don... please. Don... stop, please."
The last two words are punctuated by quiet sobs, he stiffens; her body was shaking beneath him and Don immediately backs away.
"No, wait, I didn't mean... I- I'm sorry."
"Damn. No, I'm the one that needs to apologise again, Judy," Don replies, breathing heavily. Taking in her tousled appearance as she sat up, smoothing out the skirt of her dress, her lips swollen. Anyone who saw her now would know what they've been doing.
"It's getting late, Doc. You should go inside before your family thinks you've been kidnapped, and I had my way with you."
"Don... I don't really want us to stop," Judy says, getting down from the table and to walk over to him, "I just... got a little... scared, but I want my first time to be... I want you to-"
Judy leans into him, tugging on his shirt as she gently kisses his lips.
Don wants to give her what they both crave, but he has to stop this. He can't take advantage of her drunkenness any more than he already has. Besides, Don isn't a gentle lover, she will get scared again... hell he's scared now.
"God to bed, Judy," he says, leaning his forehead against hers.
"Will you come to my room tonight?" she asks, looking up at him. God the way she's looking at him... it wasn't just lust, and it was more intoxicating than a bottle of his whiskey.
His Princess was persistent, however, waiting for his reply, and Don could think of only one way to make her go.
"When I'm sure everyone is asleep, I'll come."
Giving in one last time, Don kisses her again, savouring her soft, warm body pressing against his.
"Good night, Doc," he says against her lips.
"See you later, Don."
The moment Judy was gone, Don rushes over to an adjacent rack. He was tempted to go to her, but his Princess deserves better than some low-life smuggler taking something so priceless from her.
Perhaps as their relationship grows, maybe one day he would be good enough...
Visions of having her in his life swarm his mind. Dancing underneath the stars with her again, kissing her, making love to her. Don shakes his head, but the light of hope the vision has brought refuses to budge.
Grabbing his protective suit, which he keeps nearby -while he's in the cornfield- in case of emergencies. Don pulls it on, secures his helmet and moves toward the shelter's first access to the outside.
Then a voice calls out behind him.
"Hold on a minute there, Don. Let's have a chat."
) ~ O ~ (
The music can play... as the sun started to fade
Our dream vacation... was in my mind
Just the other day, I thought I heard you call my name
I wake up, she's gone. There's no one to blame.
Was it nothing at all?
) ~ O ~ (
Don set his shoulders, and his hands drop away from the lever as he turns to face Judy's father. Dreams of at least allowing the budding relationship to grow gradually, begin to fade at the firm expression on the man's face.
"Hey, John. I was just gonna have a look around. You know, clear my head," Don waits for a response, but John just looks at him, "being constantly holed up gets on my nerves sometimes... I should be back by sunrise."
John folds his arms as he nods and glances around the area.
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Great idea, in fact."
Don clears his throat, he wants to leave, but it's evident that John has something to say.
"I don't know what happened before I heard Judy's... request. But, I can make a good guess." John strolls over to him. "That's my little girl, you hear me? Eighteen years old. And you're not gonna hurt her-"
"Listen, John, I-" Don raises his hand placatingly.
"No, you listen, Don, so there's no misunderstanding." John steps up to Don and places firm fingers against the younger man's suit. "You're not gonna hurt her because you're never going to get the chance, Don. Am I making myself clear?"
Don's jaw works as he holds the man's flinty gaze.
"Good." With an absentminded pat to Don's suited chest, John walks away.
The sun is barely up the next morning when Don drops onto the cot he's set up in a corner down on the engineering deck, and he's then fast asleep.
Hours later, Don wakes to Debbie clucking a greeting where she is perched on his chest; he groans as he rubs the grittiness from his face.
His eyes shoot open, and Don turns his head to find Judy staring down at him. He quickly sits up -Debbie scuttles away, beating her wings at the disturbance- thinking fast as he put on his carefree attitude.
"Hey, Doc. I took a walk outside, you know, sometimes-"
"I waited for hours, Don," Judy says, her arms wrapped around her middle as her gaze implores he tell her the truth, "where were you?"
Don purses his lips and stands, he honestly thought she would have forgotten. He's had all night to think of an excuse for what needs to be done next, but now that time has come, all he wants is to ignore John's warning and pull her into his arms. Instead, he folds them and gazes down at her in regret.
"Listen, Doc, I'm sorry about last night. I guess I let the alcohol mess with my head. I shouldn't have let things go so far."
"What are you saying? We were barely tipsy, and I know... I thought that we were both on the same page."
Don runs a hand through his hair and wrenches his gaze from her eyes.
"No, you're right, we were, but I thought about it all last night and... we can't... I can't... be with someone so much younger than me. People are gonna talk."
"People are gonna-" Judy scoffs and turns away, throwing her hands up in frustration before spinning to face him again, "we both know you don't care what anyone thinks about you, Don."
"Oh, but we also know that that's not true, don't we, Princess." Don reaches overhead with an arm to grab ahold of one of the steel pipes running above them, anything to keep himself from touching her. "I care what your family thinks about me, but -more importantly- I care what you think of me, Doc."
"Then why are you doing this?" Judy whispers, the tears in her eyes glistening in the low light of the room.
The pain in her voice shook him to the core, he doesn't want to hurt her. His own voice huskier than usual, Don whispers back.
"I'm not good for you, Judy, and I'm not good enough for you. I don't want to take any chance of losing what we have now... I don't wanna lose you." Not yet. However, when they got to Alpha Centauri, their final farewell would be inevitable. He would never see any of the Robinsons again... Don would never see her again.
"Then don't lose me." Judy steps closer to him, placing a hand on his chest.
His hand tightens on the iron bar as Don fights for control of himself and the situation.
"Please, just listen for once, Princess; don't make this harder than it has to be. Let's just... go back to the way things were... and... Judy, wait."
At the ladder leading through the hatch to the upper deck, Judy pauses. Still holding the ladder, she looks back at him.
"We're just friends, I get it. I just wish you'd said this last night before I made a fool of myself."
She was gone.
"I'm sorry," he whispers to the empty hatchway.
) ~ O ~ (
'I tell you right away
I want you back into my life
But if you can't find your way
I would dream of you tonight'
) ~ O ~ (
It takes weeks before Judy would even look at him again, but the damage is already done. Their relationship has changed.
Never again do they spend time driving the chariot along the beach, nor does Judy come to their spot near the cornfield to chat. Don stops going there too when he realises that his mind continuously replays their steamy embrace. No more does she keep him company while he works; now she tosses him a quick 'hey' as she passes him in the passageway.
God, he misses her. He even misses that brief moment after their kiss when she'd seemed to have deeper feelings for him. Her tone had said so much... it was the first time, in a long time, since he'd felt so... complete. Now, he's shattered again, and the best part of him has drifted away.
Drinking to bury his sorrows was now his favourite pastime when finding something to work on was impossible. Don was too damn good at his job for shit to break so regularly on the Jupiter. His friendship with the Doc had made him forget one of his most important rules, 'never, ever be too good at anything'.
However, after drinking too much one night, then stumbling and falling into a patch of corn, destroying some of their valuable food sources. And mindlessly going to the one place he's been avoiding for weeks, Don locks away his remaining alcohol, which to his dismay, wasn't much.
Weeks became months, and it becomes easier for Don to look at Judy across the room without the longing and the loneliness that returned when she... when he ended things before they could start.
Then Maureen finds a way to get them off the planet and back to the Resolute. From then on, Don gratefully throws himself into his assigned tasks. A day or two later he's back with his old crew who uniformly give him the cold shoulder because of his desertion.
Ava, though she doesn't know it, utilises most of his free time -as punishment- with mindless drudgery which Don eagerly accepts. Sometimes he'd glimpse Judy in passing, but they barely interact with each other during the next few weeks.
After Don saves Penny's life, then is consequently arrested for his prior smuggling activities, Judy hasn't visited him once. Not that he's been expecting her to. Still, his incarceration and limited mental stimulation, has him thinking of her. He replays their kiss for hours in the dark of his cell.
When he is dying along with Ava during the mutiny, all Don can think of is her, Judy, the woman he finally admits to himself he loves. The fact that he has done -and would have continued to do- anything for her, even face certain death says it all.
Although choosing to die to save the crew... it wasn't so bad, most of them were good people. His only regret was that Ava was also dying beside him. Don took her hand and hoped it was enough as he closed his eyes and sunk into memories of those last sweet moments with Judy.
It's a good way to die.
Now here he was, listening along as all the parents agreed to send their children into space alone... and Judy was volunteered in absentia, to go with them.
In the pilot seat of the Jupiter, Don reaches out -his hand hovering over the comms- to contact John and Maureen. He pauses, he can't let Judy leave without at least saying goodbye. A voice comes softly over his headset before he can go through with his decision.
His breath escapes him in a rush of relief, and he replies roughly.
And there it was... that note he's been longing to hear, in her voice. His eyes close briefly, his heart soaring; he wasn't alone anymore.
"I know, Doc... me too."
"Okay," she sobs with a soft chuckle.
Don clears his throat as he overhears a transmission from one of the other contractor crew members in the seats behind him.
"Umm, I gotta go save two fatalistic Robinsons," Don savours her relieved giggles for a moment which he wishes would last forever, "bye, Doc."
"See you later, Don."
Two minutes later, Don -with John and Maureen behind him- watch as the Jupiter full of kids enters the breach and disappears.
"They made it," he says unnecessarily, but his heart constricts in his chest as he stares blankly at the spot where she had just been. Empty space that was never going to be filled with her presence again.
Without the alien engine, he and the other colonists now scattered throughout the Danger constellation, are never going to make it to Alpha Centauri.
Don automatically follows Maureen's directions to a planet where they might be able to hide from the approaching armada -still minutes away- his hope fading.
Plotting their new course, Don remembers the only kiss they've shared, grateful for a sweet memory that would last a lifetime.
) ~ O ~ (
'No more hope of holding your body in the moonlight
Did I fall in love for nothing?
No more hope of touching you, feeling you by my side
Did I fall in love for nothing?'
Playlist Of Sampled Songs
Was It Nothing At All - Michael Damien
One In A Million - Neyo
Fall Again - Glen Lewis
The Secret Garden - Barry White, Al B. Sure!, James Ingram, El DeBarge
How - James 'J.T.' Taylor