Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd n Eddy or any of the characters. Ed, Edd n Eddy is the property of Danny Antonucci and Cartoon Network.
Playing Hard To Ed
Chapter 2: Hard To Get?
The Kanker's sister had just finished cleaning up the rest of the trailer. Since the Ed's did most of the work, there wasn't much left to do.
Their mother was still at work and won't be back until 8 at night, leaving the girls with plenty of time to reflect on what had happened today.
They finally had the Ed's, their dream boys over...and it didn't go as they expected.
The Ed's did not become smitten with them at first sight and didn't ask them to become their girlfriends, even after the Kanker's had lovingly made them lunch and had made themselves so pretty for them. Even after they yelled at them and made them clean up the trailer in punishment, they didn't even bother to apologize to them. And when the Kanker's decided to punish them for their insolence by scaring them with hair curlers, face masks and their Ed dolls, they ran away, scared out of their wits.
Normally, the Kanker's wanted to be furious...but...right now, all they can do is think about the Ed's, about how cute they are, how good they looked when they run and even fantasizing having their first kiss with them..with would eventually one day lead to sharing a wedding kiss with them too.
Yeah, they still want to marry them. Strange, as it seems.
They really MUST be in love with them.
"Even if they were rude...they were so dreamy..."May sighed, still thinking about her hunky Big Ed.
Her sisters followed her example, thinking about their own love interests.
"Why are the cute ones always such trouble?..."Marie said and her sister's giggled.
"You got that right but..I can't stay mad at my Eddy too long..."Lee admitted.
Okay, technically speaking they were still upset at the Ed's for their rudeness and not apologizing to them, but the Kanker's were still in love with them. They still wanted to make them their boyfriends but obviously being all friendly, cooking for them and dressing up didn't work.
What else could they do?
"Lee, how are we gonna make the Ed's love us?..."May asked her sister.
"Yeah, I want my Double D and I want him now but I don't want a repeat of what happened today..."Marie said.
"Shut up, I'm thinking..."Lee barked, trying hard to think.
May however, didn't stay quiet, she said the first idea that came to her head.
"Hey, maybe if we find the Ed's and tell them why we were mad and say we're sorry, maybe they might give us another chance?..."May suggested.
She was rewarded with a punch by Marie.
"Don't be stupid! We have nothing to be sorry about, they are the ones that were rude...besides, being all nice didn't work the first time..."Marie pointed out, while May, being mad at being hit, tackled her and the two began to tussle on the living room floor.
It lasted for 2 minutes before Lee lost her patience and broke them up.
"QUIT IT!..."Lee shouted, as she separated her younger sisters from each other.
"Instead of wasting time fighting, why not spend it helping me think of a way to make The Ed's notice us..."Lee ordered.
Her sisters begrudgingly obeyed and started to think up ways to get the boys of their dreams to notice them and become their boyfriends and eventual husbands.
Looks like this is going to take a while.
It was late and Gertrude Kanker has just return from her 12 hour work day at the diner.
"I can't believe this is my life...No mom, I don't need college, I'm gonna marry Butch Smith and once he gets his football scholarship and joins the big leagues, we'll have it made..."Gertrude thought sarcastically.
She really hoped that her daughter's won't be as foolish with boys as she was, and that they won't do stupid stuff, such as dropping out of high school to marry your boyfriend, only for him to ditch you once he realized that he didn't want to be a father. Being forced to move back with your mother, change your and your daughter's name back to the maiden name and working a dead end job just to support a baby. Then foolishly getting fooled by some pretty boy who promised her the moon, only to give her broken promises, a divorce certificate and a second daughter to support on her own. And, in the middle of your heartbreak, you end up rebounding with some dimwitted but seemingly nice boy who basically ended up doing the exact same thing to her.
Three failed marriages in a row...well, that's three strikes and she is out.
Hopefully her daughters won't be stupid like she was. She is older, wiser now and she knows the truth about men.
You just can't depend on them. Her three ex husbands are prime examples of that.
On the bright side, at the very least her ex-husbands have to pay her child support but even then, that's barely enough to cover the necessities and she still had to work this crummy diner job.
She entered her run down trailer and saw that her daughters were there, deep in thought.
"I'm home, girls..."Gertrude greeted.
"Hey mom..."Lee said, still in deep thought.
"How was your day?.."May asked, actually curious.
"You don't wanna know but good news..I managed to snag some meatloaf from the diner...it seems that employee's get to take home anything that is left over..."Gertrude said.
It's the only perk at her lousy job.
Usually her daughters would be pleased at the prospect of free food, but they looked like they were deep in thought.
"Is something wrong?..."Gertrude asked her daughters.
"Nothing is wrong mom..."Marie said quickly, while Lee was thinking
"Actually, we wanted to ask you something..."Lee said
"We did?..."May asked stupidly, only for Lee to rib her when their mom looked away to place her purse on the table.
The truth is, they couldn't think up of a good way to make the Ed's become theirs, so as a last resort, Lee decided to ask their mother for advice.
It couldn't hurt, could it?
"What is it, girls? And make it fast, I got to get up early for a 7:30 breakfast shift..."Gertrude said.
"You see..."May continued but paused.
"Girls, just tell me..."Gertrude ordered.
"Okay, mom...what do you know about boys?..."Lee asked.
Okay, that got Gertrude's attention and not in the good way.
"Okay, what's this about...don't tell me that you girls actually like someone! I already told you, no boys until your 16 and even then, no funny stuff..."Gertrude said.
Her daughters however, had innocent looks on their faces and shook their hands.
"Of course not, mom..."Lee said, trying to look innocent.
"We were just asking, mommy..."May said, with puppy dog eyes.
"We were just wondering, is all..."Marie said.
"Where did this come from anyway?...'Gertrude asked.
"Nowhere actually, but we were thinking, if we are gonna be going to school in this town, they might have some boys we might meet...and we might meet some nice, handsome boys to boot...well, we just wanted to know how to get them to love us?...'Lee asked, making sure she sounded like some naive little girl curious about a fairy-tale romance and not a hormonal teenager eager for her first make-out session.
Her mom would have a fit if she discovered that she was the latter.
Gertrude groaned as she sat down on the sofa.
"I knew that this day would come...okay girls, gather around! It's time we have a little talk about men...and boys in your case, not that there is much of a difference..."Gertrude said as she then started a big anti-man speech.
She told them that men are rude, slovenly and you just can't depend on them. The only thing they are good for is telling sweet lies and breaking promises. She even used her ex-husband and even some former boyfriends as examples, saying that they are a waste of space and that she never should have bothered with any of them.
"I mean it girls, the only time you can ever depend on a man is if you wanna have a baby but aside from that, you don't need them..."Gertrude.
Her daughters looked stun.
"Mom must be wrong, not all boys are that bad...my Big Ed isn't like that...I just want him to show me that he loves me..."May thought.
"Stop whining already mom, just tell me how to get Double D to kiss me!..."Marie thought, getting agitated.
"I can't believe this...I don't want to hear about men being jerks, I just want to make that jerk Eddy into my loving hubby..."Lee thought frustrated.
"Mom, while I get that most guys are jerks...what if, we do someday meet a nice guy who we can settle down with, get married and grow old together like grandma and grandpa Kanker were..how do we get them to love us and to keep them around like that?...'Lee asked.
Gertrude sighed. She was tired from her rant but she realized that maybe she shouldn't crush her daughter's hopes. Their grandfather, her father, Hank Kanker was the only man she has ever respected and her parents were happy together.
Just because her love life was a catastrophe, it doesn't necessarily mean the same is set in stone for her daughters...as long as they did things right.
"Okay girls...if by some chance you do meet a nice boy, and remember, it can't be before you guys are 16, then you have to remember these rules, if he yells at you, disrespects you or tries to lay a hand on you, clobber him and dump his sorry behind! Men like that don't amount to a pile of dirt! Also, you are not his servant, he has no right to boss you around, if anything, he should feel honor to have such a beautiful, amazing woman in his life and if anything, he should be the one doting on you...and for the most important rule of all, never throw yourself at him! Make him relentless and make sure he knows that you won't be pushed around, that he has to respect you and not take you for granted...once he understands that, then I guess he is worth keeping around...I wish I knew that at your age..."Gertrude muttered.
"Follow those rules along with these ones, you three aren't allow to date until you are sixteen and above all, you girls will not, under any circumstances, drop out of school for any reason, especially for a boy and I will not become a mother-in-law and grandma before I'm 40, so you guys aren't allowed to get married until I say you're old enough, are we clear?..."Gertrude shouted like a drill sergeant.
"Yes, mom..."All three of their daughters nodded, finding her scary when she got like that.
"Good, remember that and you guys will be very happy in the future..."Gertrude said.
Those were her last words before she left for her room, wanting this entire day behind her.
Her daughters had listen to her every work carefully, and they all shared a look.
In the Kanker's bedroom
Lee, Marie and May were now within the privacy of their bedroom. Their mother was now sleeping in her room, snoring loudly and gone to the world.
The girls began talking about the last thing she told them before she went to sleep.
"What do you think mom meant by all of that?..."May asked.
Lee was also confused. They had served the Ed's and threw themselves at them and it just ended with the boys pushing them around and Eddy yelling at them. Lee didn't want to dump Eddy. Maybe there is still time to change things and make him into a decent husband.
Today, after all, was their first meeting after all.
Lee tried to think some more, but one part of her mother's rant replayed in her mind.
"Never throw yourself at him! Make him relentless and make sure he knows that you won't be pushed around, that he has to respect you and not take you for granted...once he understands that, then I guess he is worth keeping around..."Her mother's words echoed in her mind.
Just then, Lee had a "Eureka" moment and turned to her sisters.
"Don't you girls get it, the reason the Ed's didn't act the way they were suppose to is because we didn't act the way we were suppose to..."Lee said.
"And what way is that, Einstein?...'Marie demanded.
"Playing hard to get!..."Lee exclaimed.
Her sisters looked surprised and once they registered what she said, they were interested.
"Hard to get?..."Marie questioned, interested.
"Remember what mom said..."Lee started.
"If you throw a man a bone, he'll mess up the carpet..."May said.
"No! She said to never throw yourself at him! You gotta make him relentless and make sure he knows that you are the boss, that he has to respect you and not take you for granted..."Lee repeated and her sisters were paying close attention
"Think about it, we acted all nice and the Ed's didn't notice us, but once we took charge, they did everything we said...for a while..."Lee said.
Her sister's thought about it and nodded. It did make some sense, sure they yelled at the Ed's and made them do chores, acted like harpies but it's not like they were chained up to the trailers. They could have fled hours ago IF they really wanted to.
Maybe deep down, they liked it when women took charge but their ego's got in the way and Eddy acted unreasonable again. Well, Lee was going to fix his attitude and this just might be the way.
"Hmmm..you know...that makes sense..."Marie said
May still didn't get it.
"So, what? How do we act around the boys?..."May asked.
"Simple, we show them that we aren't girls to push around, we have to show them that we are the one's in charge of this relationship and they have got to respect that, and once they understand that, they will be the perfect boyfriends for us..."Lee said as she sighed dreamily as visions of wedding bells and Eddy in a tux entered her mind.
"But how do we do that?..."Marie asked, snapping Lee out of her day dream.
"We DEMONSTRATE that we are the bosses, we FORCE them to respect and understand that and then we MAKE them be our perfect boyfriends!..."Lee said, with emphasis some words.
May blinked, while Marie looked intrigued.
'But what if the boys think we hate them all of a sudden?..."May asked and Marie blinked.
"May has a point, Lee...boys can be pretty clueless..."Marie said.
"Well, I guess there is no harm with some flirting here and there, just to keep them from thinking lost interest, but we still got to play hard to get make sure they know who's in charge..."Lee said.
"Okay, I'm in...I think I can play pretty hard to get..."Marie said, already thinking on how she can mess with Double D and make him fall in love with her.
"How long should we act like this before we get to kiss the boys?..."Marie asked, since that is what she is MOST interested in.
She has never kissed a boy before and she wanted her first kiss to be with Edd.
May also looked eager to know.
"Patience girls...remember what mom says...once they understand that they can't take us for granted...the Ed's will be ours once they realize who's in charge...but first we got to show them who is in charge here..."Lee said as she grinned mischievously.
Her sister's followed suit.
"Tomorrow morning, we are going to pay those dream boats a visit and then the game of playing hard to get can really start..."Lee said before she giggled mischievous, visions of marrying Eddy and having 2.5 kids in a two story home filling her mind.
Playing hard to get.
They Ed's would be theirs in no time.
After all, they don't have a choice in the matter.
"I can't wait.."Marie cackled, thinking about Edd and how soon, she will have her first kiss with him, whether he is ready for it or not.
"The boys will love us for sure!..."May laughed, snorting everyone now as she kept laughing and blushing, as her happily ever after with her Big Ed will soon come true.
"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!..."The Kanker's sisters laughed echoed all throughout the trailer park.
The residence of Peach Creek continued to slumber, unaware of what will unfold tomorrow.
-To be continued-
Next time on Playing Hard To Ed
Kankers in the Cul-De-Sac
REPLIES to my loyal and totally awesome reviewers:
Boris Yeltsin: Thank you :)
Invader Johnny: You got that right.
:) Till next time beautiful people, remember to read and review :)