! READ THIS !

Ok first things first, yes, this is an Authors note and an omake. Sorry to disappoint, but there is a reason. Last round of edits I did deleted some of the line breaks, and I need to go back and add them. If I don't post a new update when I edit the old ones the fic still jumps to the top of your update list and then everyone gets confused, so it's a lot easier on everyone if I have something to post when I do edits.

The next chapter is in the works, but I really wanted to fix this so you are getting an Omake I wrote and posted on SV. The Omake is how this would have played out were I actually writing an SI fic. Which I'm not, but I had a few people complain that John was an SI and I was power wanking. That pissed me off and I wrote the omake half out of spite to highlight the differences.

Since I am already doing edits and addressing one of the vocal minority complaints I'm going to address the others as well. 99.99% of you have been an amazing audience and I love you for that. It's just that with this sites format answering those rare passive aggressive complaints is a pain and I'm tired of dealing with them individually, so I'm just throwing out the general responses now while I've got an excuse.

If at any time you have wondered what the hell I was thinking when I added Obi-Wan and Anakin to the cast go to chapter five, scroll to the bottom and read the authors note I'll be adding with this round of edits. If it's not there yet check back in later so the site can catch up with the edits, sometimes there is a delay. I've had a tiny but vocal minority tell me that adding them to the story ruined it for them, usually without reading any farther, so rather than PMing someone every three or four months I'm just going to leave it there and let that be the end of it.

If you love Yoda and don't like how I've portrayed him, or any other Jedi... Look I don't know what to tell you here. I always try to write my characters as people before anything else. That means they have flaws, and blind spots, and just are not perfect in general. Yoda and the other Jedi mean well, they are not evil, or stupid, or cruel. But to them John waltzed into their lives and flipped the galaxy on its head. They are trying to adapt, but this is not a situation they were prepared for, and they are not going to just waltz through it.

In summation, I know this story isn't what most people expected, and it keeps dashing off in directions people didn't see coming. And if you don't like that it's fine. I'm not going to cram my fic down anyone's throat. Just please, if you're going to drop my fic don't waste my time on passive aggressive comments. If you want to know why I did something I'll be happy to tell you so long as it isn't a spoiler. I don't mind questions, or suggestions, or audience participation. This fic has multiple incorporated fan omakes and a rewrite based on audience complaints. I'm not just blowing smoke up your asses. I listen to what you have to say. That doesn't mean I'll always agree, and lucky you or I'd have to rewrite every chapter a million times and the story would never progress, but I'm damn well listening.

Talk to me. Agree to disagree. Decide the story isn't for you. I'm not going to get mad or offended unless someone starts making demands or tossing insults.

Anyway, that's done, so here's that omake I promised. Happy belated thanksgiving to all my American readers.

{}{}{}{} If I was actually writing an SI

I carefully secured the mask and double checked the interior of the warehouse to be absolutely sure there was nothing that could possibly give away my location. With a quite breath I gave the signal for the cheep flying camera which barely counted as a droid to start recording.

"Right." my highly modulated voice fit poorly in my ears, but I knew what was out there, and I wasn't going to take any chances that it could follow me home. "We've talked about the two versions of the Jedi code, the Sith code, the little to nothing I know about the other Force sects running around the galaxy. We've covered moving meditation, regular meditation, and candle meditation. I've talked about half dozen Force powers and I've warned all of you about a million times that I haven't actually had the guts to really poke at the Dark Side of the Force. Because no matter how dubious I am about the Jedi's stance of 'once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you, it will!' I'm not actually skeptical enough to put my theory to the test."

I mercilessly stomped on my usual nervous twitch of playing with the brim of my hat. For one thing I wasn't wearing it, for another I might dislodge my mask, and finally it would kind of damage my image.

"I want to believe I'm right. The fact my candle meditation works says I should be right. But I've never had to really draw on it for anything beyond meditation and some very brief, controlled tests."

I didn't manage to stop myself from twitching this time, but I turned it into a sweeping gesture before my arm raised past chest height. I'd call that good enough.

"I've done everything I can. Equipped you with every bit of information that might be useful to you. Now... now it's up to you. You have to put in the time to get anywhere with this. And then... well then we find out if I've doomed the galaxy or not by making all this information public."

I took a moment to just breath, to find my equilibrium again. Even behind a mask I felt like I was screwing this up. Oh sure I'd managed public speaking on a few occasions, but there was a damn good reason I preferred to write! With writing I had time to pick things apart, and delete my tangents, and fix whatever inevitably came out wrong. This half off the cuff lecturing made my stomach do flips and my legs shake.

"I hope you'll put this to good use. I know some of you won't. And I know some of you will think you are doing the right thing even as you go careening off of a cliff. But this knowledge has to get out. It has to survive. Change is coming to the galaxy. The Sith are out there, the Jedi are unprepared... and I'm not interested in dying a pointless death trying to prevent what's coming. This is the best I can do. Maybe it'll make the Jedi think and change. Maybe it'll prepare some of you to stand up and fight when everything falls apart. I hope I'm not making things worse... please let me not be making everything worse."

I sighed and shook my head.

"Anyway... This is the last video. Now I'm not a slicer so I'll be blunt. When these videos go up all over the net, and someone traces them back to the planet they were posted from I will be long gong to who knows where. If they get taken down I'll just have to repeat the process all over again, but I have a feeling other people will do that for me. I'd be willing to bet these will get saved downloaded and re-uploaded all on their own without me needing to act. So with any luck this knowledge will actually survive. May the Force be with you all."

I gave the signal for the recording to end and slumped against a crate as I pulled the mask off and ran my gloved hand through my hair. Fuck everything but I felt drained.

"You know what to do right? Wait one week then upload every video to all the sites on the list?"

The little camera droid beeped an affirmative. I nodded shakily.

"Good. That's good. Thanks for all this little guy. I'd tell you to go find a new owner once that's done, but odds are you'd just get them killed. So... I don't know, once the video's uploaded do whatever you like for as long as you can avoid being caught, ok?"

Another affirmative beep and I nodded even as I checked to make sure I had a copy of the videos saved to my personal data slate. My ride left in the morning. But I was too wound up to get any sleep right now. Time to check and see what was new on some of the creative writing forums I'd found.

Oddest thing about the galaxy? With so many planets and people churning out content pop culture wasn't really a thing. There was just too much content. As an interesting side effect the fan fiction community had adapted to actually explain whatever setting they were playing off of instead lf assuming the readers knew about it. It was really more like having an infinite number of brand new settings to explore.

A little frustrating that I never knew what I was getting into, but it made the gems all the more exciting. Maybe a few hours of sifting through new content would be enough to finally calm my mind down and let me sleep. I did have places to be in the morning.

{}{}{}{} Time skip.

Opening the door to my crummy apartment I was greeted by the sight of two grumpy looking beings in robes.

"No spreken de galactic basic." I said before snapping the door shut and turning the lock.

…. It was the first thing that came to mind. Shut up. Let's see you do better when two Jedi show up on your doorstep a few weeks after taking a blaster to their traditions and ideology.

"Fuck."

"Mr. Squad," the dry annoyed voice was muffled by the door but still perfectly understandable, "I know you speak Galactic Basic. Your videos were in fact rather eloquent at times."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I shouted back as I started throwing clothes and food bars into my half empty bug out bag. "I'm not Esbern. Go away!" Go pop culture powers go!

"… What? Mr. Squad, please stop making things difficult. We know you were the one to record the videos. We tracked you with facial recognition."

With a groan I gave up on overplaying the idiot angle and slipped my cheap piece of shit blaster into its holster.

"Where the hell did you get an image of my face?!"

"You didn't wipe the droid's memory banks."

"… Son of a bitch. Ok so I should have slagged the little camera bot. I didn't break any laws and I don't want anything to do with you people so get lost."

"That really isn't an option at this point, Mr. Squad."

"Fuck you it isn't! Laws on my side, so you can just take a hike!"

My stash of emergency credits was… not nearly enough to get me off world. Not that I had much chance of even getting as far as the space port.

"Said the man with no real identification, no history more than a few months old, and who has made himself very much the business of the Jedi Order. I'm sorry, Mr. Squad, but one way or another you will be returning with us to Coruscant."

The door unlocked itself and the pair marched in. With one last desperate scan of the apartment, I considered just jumping out the window…. Unfortunately, I was seven stories up and kind of shit at the whole slowing my own fall trick. With a resigned groan I slung my bag over my shoulder, glared at the two Jedi, and raised my hands in surrender. Then I blinked, spun, and summoned my data pad with a wobbly bit of telekinesis.

"Fine, fuck you. Take me to your leaders."

{}{}{}{}

I lasted exactly ten minutes into the most awkward flight ever before I started reading one of several promising stories, I'd downloaded to my data pad. The Jedi sent to collect me didn't seem to have any idea what to do with a Force user who voluntarily surrendered. Apart from taking my shitty blaster.

I similarly had no idea what to do with the two warrior monks sent to collect me. So, I fell back on the old standby. Read until the stress bleeds away and there is something I can actually do about the issue.

My internet time had quickly proven a few things to me. Chief among them was that Wookies were the most likely writers to speak to my soul. Seriously, for all that they were as civilized as anyone else, Wookies had a violent edge to them. Not something I had acted on since the school system and society in general had forced me to grow past it. But it had always been there, and the part of me which still thought words only ever got you so far just sang in harmony with Wookie writing.

Basically? To most humans Wookie writing tended towards a darker shade of grey on the morality spectrum. And I absolutely loved it. Especially when the stories involved Wookie interactions with other species who just didn't understand why violence was still an option for them. It soothed something in my soul to know there were people out there who felt the same way. Even if a lifetime of being told it was wrong had squashed it out of me, it was still viscerally satisfying to read about and cathartic besides.

They were, unfortunately, a bit unimaginative when it came to settings and characters but after years of combing through stories ranging from amateur to "why are you not published yet?" digging around and finding the best works was part of the fun.

The Jedi of course didn't know what to make of a prisoner who behaved by ignoring them. So, we all ignored each other, and I got lots of reading done.

I'd also done a little writing. Having to establish a setting from the ground up was a new experience, which I was still struggling with. Beyond that my biggest issue was that not one of the fandoms I knew inside out or in passing existed. And I had no reference material to keep the memories fresh. Crossovers were out of the question, though a seamless fusion would be fine. Really the biggest hurdle was the utter lack of nostalgia and familiarity for me to use to pull people in. Didn't matter quite as much once you established but considering I didn't have years sunk into developing a reputation here? Yeah, starting from scratch was bad for my self esteem. Sure there were now trillions of potential readers but the number of writers I was competing with for attention had also spiked through the roof and kept right on going till it hit orbit.

I'd eventually settled on something I thought was promising, and so far, it was generating a good deal of positive feedback. A historical fiction piece centered way back in the days of the Jedi Lords. There wasn't a lot of historical information from those days, but there was some, and I'd mixed what I could find with the general idea of the Black Company.

The story of a mercenary company navigating battlefields, caught between the terrible might of Jedi and Sith Lords, with just a few low end force users was compelling. War machines, Sith spawned horrors, and displays of the Force that I had only ever encountered in overly dramatic fan works, the EU, and the Disney trilogy. Watching the rag tag band of rejects struggle to survive it all was a compelling narrative. I was proud of the result, and the reader response.

Coolest bit was that a few history nuts had taken one look at what I was writing and gone digging. Most systems didn't have great records from that far back for a lot of reasons but Corelia apparently did. They weren't taught in high school or anything but they existed if someone wanted to go digging through archives and ancient data files. I got semi regular anecdotes and files sent to me whenever someone found a little gem.

I had another three days to write and read with no job to get in the way. With a little luck I might even be able to post the next chapter before the Council demanded my attention. Then, things would get complicated. There was no point in trying to guess how any of this would play out. I could find myself assassinated on landing by Palpatine. I could get abducted by someone in the Sith's employ trying to leave the planet or even just walking around outside the temple. The Jedi could lock me up or throw me in a mental institution. At which point we circled right back around to Palps pulling some kind of shit and my life ending in horrible pain. Joy.

Really my best bet was to get some kind of deal where I could either stay in the temple, or get them to ship me off to the absolute middle of nowhere with an explicit promise not to have any records of where they sent me. Realistically I was pretty well and truly fucked no matter what happened next because even if I managed to get out of this the galaxy was still set to burn in less than a decade, and the decades that would follow wouldn't exactly be safe either.

Assuming of course that things went as per canon. There was always the possibility that I was in a very, very, AU version of the galaxy far far away. But I'd dug through the public records. There were certain systems making noise about seceding from the republic. The trade federation occupation of Naboo was a matter of public record. And of Course, Palpatine was chancellor.

Signs pointed to me being fucked.

{}{}{}{}

Standing in the middle of the Jedi Council as they all eyed me up like some strange unknown insect that needed to be scraped off the bottom of their shoe was, to put it lightly, nerve wracking. But childhood nostalgia only got them so many points when my major hobby was ripping apart settings looking for new and interesting angles. And yes, I'd learned to keep some of what I was thinking to myself. But I was also a chronic smart ass who had gotten a five month crash course in being an asshole from a road crew full of dicks. And these people, for all their vaunted wisdom, were going to fuck up by the numbers in a few years. And that wasn't even getting into my very strong opinions on brainwashing minors, and sending minors into an active war zone.

Ahsoka could be as much of a bad ass as she wanted. That did not excuse making a fourteen year old fight for her life and constantly see soldiers she had befriended die violent deaths. And she was just one of many. Most of the younglings didn't survive the war at all. Order sixty six and Vader made sure of that. If they wanted me to crack and just start offering up information l was going to do my damndest to disappoint them.

So, after a full minute of being stared at, glared at, and observed, without anyone talking I did what came naturally. I pulled out my data pad intent on finding out if Snrait was finally going to impress Aedek after making a successful run to the forest floor of Kashyyyk. Honestly the plot was boring, but I'd either read or deleted every other story I'd downloaded on the trip here and I hadn't yet had time to go looking for more.

"What," Mace Windu's desert dry voice broke the silence, "are you doing?"

"Standing mostly. Kind of rude not to offer a guy a chair when everyone else is sitting." Deep breaths me. Yes, they can kill you with their minds or laser swords, but if I'm not dead yet they probably won't. Probably. Also, cute, single, neighbor lady was now about a hundred light years away. And I at least thought she might have been interested back, so they could absolutely suck a dick.

Yep, that did it. I hadn't had so much as a date in ages and they'd had me abducted before I could work up the nerve to ask her. And it wasn't like I'd been dragging my feet! I'd only lived there for a couple of weeks! I was going to make this miserable for them.

"With the data pad." Mace elaborated, ignoring my crack about not being offered a chair. "What are you doing with the data pad?"

"Well since you all seemed to drag me halfway across the galaxy to stare at me, I decided I might as well get in some reading while I waited for you to stop wasting my time."

The Force pull that yanked my data pad out of my hands as it flew to the ancient naga asshat tipped me from snarky to pissed off. And I let that slip into the Force before drawing it back in augmenting my relatively pitiful level of power.

"That is not yours. And if I don't get it back before leaving this room we are going to have a problem."

"If you don't want people taking your toys then you should show proper respect." The crotchety old shit glared back.

I wasn't powerful. But I knew that damn well and I'd prioritized figuring out nasty little tricks. Closing my eyes I twisted my wrist and set off the Force equivalent of a flash bang in his bearded face. It wasn't much. Not half as powerful as it likely could be. But I only needed a moment's distraction to summon my data pad back to myself and shove it back in my bag. Now all the council was glaring at me and I glared right back.

"I'm not one of your starry eyed younglings, and none of you have any actual authority over me. Taking my stuff is stealing. You want my attention? Start talking. Stop wasting my time and get on with your bullshit so I can figure out how I'm going to survive after you've gotten whatever answers you're looking for. Because just bringing me here means I'm probably dead as soon as I get more than a block from the temple."

Though maybe I could disappear into the lower levels? It was not a long term solution, in no small part because they were a deathtrap in their own right. But they were probably a good way to lose a pursuer.

"You don't seem to understand the seriousness of your situation." The one with massive horns chimed in.

"And you don't seem to be capable of listening. I'm practically a dead man walking. You brought me here. So the Sith know my face, my name, and where I am. As soon as I'm outside your reach I'm fucked. You lock me up? I spend a few years slowly dying of boredom before they get their hands on me and kill me. What the hell would showing any of you respect possibly get me?"

"What, know you, about the Sith?" Yoda asked with a jab of his walking stick.

That was the question wasn't it. Maybe not what did I know, but what would they believe? What could I tell them? I could drop all the facts into their laps but would they believe me? Would they act on them?

"Power mad rage addicts who sink so far into their destructive ideology that they break. And if they do it right they come out the other side capable of mostly rational thought in spite of living in a constant haze of negative emotions. Hiding from all of you in plain sight, secure in the knowledge that you thought they were destroyed. That you wouldn't even look twice so long as they managed to keep up their charade."

I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Plotting, and damn near ready, to destroy your order and take over the galaxy. Because obviously the crazy bastards get some sort of sick joy out of being responsible for more paperwork than anyone else in existence. Oh, and spying on your every damn move because they want you all dead. Which once again means I'm probably going to die." My temper snapped as I finished speaking.

Mace opened his mouth to ask something but Yoda cut him off.

"Approve of their ideology you do not?"

"No."

"But use the Dark side, you do."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because your definition of balance is a crock of shit."

Yoda's eyes narrowed dangerously in spite of my bravado; a shiver went down my spine.

"So certain of that are you?"

"I bet the fate of the galaxy on it, didn't I?"

"And why exactly did you feel the need to do so?" Mace asked, dragging the conversation back around to the Sith.

"Because the Sith are moving for the first time in a thousand years, and I seriously doubt your collective ability to survive. So hopefully in fifty or a hundred years, when the Galaxy has rebuilt itself a time or three, whatever replaces the Jedi and Sith as the de facto Force sect will be better. Or maybe there won't be a de facto group which is honestly probably the better option so long as they don't pick up this idiot habit of blood feuds." I shrugged and grinned at them, all teeth.

"And you would like that wouldn't you? For the Jedi to be wiped out to the last?" The house elf spit acidly.

I fixed him with a glare of my own.

"Not all of you. Honestly, I don't care if you all die or live to a ripe old age. You don't matter to me. But I would hope the kids at least might make it through the inevitable purge if things go how I expect."

"Purge?"

I buried my head in my hands and groaned.

"Let me put this in terms even the younglings would understand. The Sith have been hiding, building power, plotting to kill you all, and take control of the galaxy. They have been building to this for a thousand years. If they manage a successful coup everyone and everything associated with the order will either be twisted to suit their purposes, or destroyed. You should be able to understand at least that much without me needing to spell it out for you."

"The Sith haven't been seen in-" the house elf puffed himself up.

"Naboo." I cut him off mercilessly. "Yeah, yeah, you tried to bury it as best you could but it happened didn't it. A powerful Dark Side assassin throwing himself against a couple Jedi to interfere with your diplomatic mission, right?"

"... How do you know about that?"

"Because I know things I shouldn't. Which is why I made the videos before trying to disappear. It's why I'm convinced you're all going to get killed. That and just how little power I actually have are half the reason I'm convinced any other plan I might come up with would be worse than useless. You're caught in the spider's web and every broken strand will just wrap you up. You'd have to go right for the throat to even hope to change things and you probably won't believe me and if you tried, you'd be called traitors and shit would just get messy."

"Tell us." Yoda demanded.

I glared at the little gremlin before throwing up my hands.

"The Dark Lord of the Sith is the Chancellor. He trained your mysterious Dark Side assassin. He's pulled Count Dooku into his orbit and got him on board. They're setting up to throw the galaxy into war. The republic on one side and the Separatists on the other. You all will get roped into things as military officers which naturally means you're in the line of fire and start dying off. Then he arranges things so your own soldiers turn on you. You die, all across the galaxy and the Sith rise to power unopposed."

I was… really angry with them. I hadn't actually expected that. But between uprooting my barely half settled life, being so utterly unprepared for what was coming, and just being hostile with me from the word go… I wanted to just shake them and tell them to wake up and-

… and I was still drawing on the Force using negative emotions… that'd do it. Breaking the cycle of feeding emotions into the Force was difficult. It could be done, but I needed more practice.

"We can't simply take his word on something like this. There's no evidence whatsoever."

"And attacking the Chancellor would be treason."

"There is no way a Sith could hide from us here on Coruscant, we would know!"

I groaned and buried my head back in my hands. I'd known this was coming. This was exactly why I hadn't wanted to try changing the timeline. Oh, they might decide on a course of action eventually. I just wasn't going to be holding my breath.