This may look like an African plain. And to a certain deluded vampire-slayer, it even FEELS like an African plain...

With wooden sais, Erica Brooks crosses what she perceives to be a plain. She knows they're hiding. She knows they're trying to fool her. And she's just about sick of it...

In front of her, she's approached by a herd of elephants. She's shocked they're not stampeding.

To her right, she's approached by a herd of buffalo. As dangerous as they are, she would've expected them to lead the cavalry charge...if this is one. (She has NO doubt that it is.)

To her left, a crash of white rhinos approach her. They don't have as much power in numbers as the former...and they're led by a cow.

Erica doesn't see anything wrong with that. Or rather, she wouldn't have to...if she wasn't sure they're here to kill her.

Behind her, there are roars and growls. Creepily, there's variety where that comes from.

Erica looks around, wooden sais drawn. She's surrounded by the Five Armies of the Big Five; the elephant, the white rhino, the buffalo, the lion, and the leopard. Alas, the lion army is mostly lionesses. Erica's shocked this world salutes reality with its magic...

Out here, buffalo are the second most dangerous game. For that, Erica charges them first.

The buffalo transform into giant ticks, turn some of their forelegs into blades, and leap all around her. They take swings at her. She jabs them in their thoraxes with her wooden sais. Like magic, their carcasses generate light, and explode...usually taking other giant ticks with them.

All around, the elephants, rhinos, lionesses, and leopards turn into the same bloodsucking pestilence. They'd lap Erica's blood as if she was a water hole...or a blood hole, rather...

Erica yells, and jabs. Ticks generate light, and blow up. She won't stop until their general's hers. And when she's done with him, she'll roast his head like a bloody marshmallow...

At long last, she's killed the last giant tick. She stands atop his abnormally large abdomen, crosses her bloody wooden sais, rests, and smiles.

She looks around, and sighs. It still looks like she's on an African plain.

"YOU CAN CUT THAT OUT NOW, MOTHERFUCKERS," she shouts. "I KNOW YOU'RE VEXING ME!"

All around, the illusion rolls back. It's apparent that she's in a great hall. She's surrounded by dead sentries. Some of them look like imports from Mojoworld…

She stands on a walkway. On either side, there are pools of blood. Some of the bodies are in them. Erica almost regrets re-stocking them.

High above it all, on a high seat, Amahl Farouk watches, and scrapes his clawed hands together. He grins. It seems the Shadow King has gotten rusty. Either that, or some of his enemies have gotten to know him better than he'd allow himself to be studied...

"Marvelous job, Ms. Brooks," he sneers, adjusting his fez. "I half-considered having this little showdown in Turkey."

Erica looks around. "We are in Turkey, aren't we?"

"Turkmenistan, actually. But don't get excited; that mirage was just a first line of defense. You will NOT hinder my ultimate line..."

"I don't care!" Erica flexes her bare arms, and points the wooden sais at him. "I'm here to slay you, and that is NOT negotiable!"

He adjusts his fez again. "I must confess, that you don't look too much like a vampire-slayer."

"Yeah?! Well YOU don't look too much like Jabba the Hutt!"

Shadow King narrows his eyes, rubs his claws together, and laughs evilly...

Erica scoffs. "Fine; you do. But I can see you! I know where you are! You will NOT delude your way out of THIS one!"

With that, Erica screams, leaps, and points her twin wooden sais at Shadow King's chest. She anticipates the moment her sais penetrate his chest flesh...ESPECIALLY his heart...

"I'm not a vampire, Ms. Brooks," he reminds her. "I don't quite get why you must use those on me..."

Erica still yells, in midair, and points the sais at his chest...

"Very well." He picks something up from near his chair, and holds it in the sunlight. "Let's see how you are against REAL ticks."

A flash of light nearly blinds Erica...and knocks her out. Last she remembers, her wooden sais are nths away from impaling Shadow King...