I'm not gonna lie, this chapter isn't gonna be the best thing I've ever written. I'm kinda cramming/skimming/throwing my hands up in defeat a LOT into here so the story can move onto what I actually WANT to write for it. Sorry for making you wait so long, and sorry for the sub-par chapter. Also, some of the timeline stuff may be a little wonky, I'm sorry.

Also, if you think there was a deleted chapter, there was. It was an update saying I'm sorry for the wait. It's gone now.

Lobo had no idea how much time had passed in recent times. It felt like he had just accepted the job to keep Harry alive, and then a month had passed. There was the Quidditch game where Lobo took on the Dementors (and kicked their ass), and then that month was done. He was secretly thankful he wasn't hired to find Black specifically, because he was getting annoyed with how hard that was becoming. He was 99.99% + 0.01% sure someone in the school was helping him in some regard. Now, it was time for his monthly report to the headmaster. A.K.A. the guy paying him, so he couldn't lie to him.

"Look, Headmaster. I've got good news, and bad news. Good news is, Sirius seems to have bailed completely. Bad news is, I don't know where he went. Considering the job you've hired me for, I figured it'd be better to stay behind and protect th'kid."

"Indeed." Albus nodded. "That is the correct thing to do. But do you have any ideas as to why he may have disappeared?"

"Well, he ain't gone for good. Not a chance in the fraggin' galaxy." Lobo remarked. "If he's determined enough to break out of Azkaban and try to get into here just to kill the kid, then he won't give up just because I'm around. He's probably gone into hiding to try and think of a new plan, or he's waiting for someone or something."

"What do you mean by 'someone'?" The Headmaster asked. "Are you saying you believe a teacher here may be working with Sirius Black?"

"I can't prove anything, so I won't say yes. But yes." Lobo remarked. "It just makes sense, y'know? How's the bastich gettin' in an' out when this place is locked down tighter than a nun's-" Lobo began, but caught himself. There were some people he had no issue making that kind of joke around, namely, everyone. But Albus wouldn't appreciate that kinda humor. Not that Lobo cared if it was PC or not, but because Albus just didn't… look that way, y'know? Also, see the previous 'He's paying me' comment. "My point is, the chances that one of the profs here ain't exactly who they say they are is pretty damn high."

"Mr. Lobo, you've been doing this for a long time, correct?"


"You've dealt with all matter of criminal and low life, correct?"


"Please, be honest with me. Who do you think could be assisting Sirius Black?" Albus asked. Lobo paused, then put together this wasn't a test of character, or some sort of hidden-meaning-lecture, Albus was genuinely asking him… and Lobo had a feeling he wouldn't like the answer.

"Well I'll be brutally honest with you, Lupin and Sev both seem like they've killed someone and hid the body well enough to avoid being caught." Lobo said tactlessly. "Sev more than Lou, really. There's something about that guy that just feels wrong. Yet what gets to me, is that there's nothing about what he's done that would suggest he'd be behind anything. He doesn't like th'kid, I don't get why, but I don't fraggin' care." Lobo explained. "But if he wanted him dead, why wait three years? Why not just make one of his potions explode during first year and write it off as an accident? The dude's really smart, so it's not like it'd be impossible for him t'do so… if he was gonna make a move, he's smart enough to probably not get caught."

"The lengths you go in these explanations are somewhat concerning." Minerva blinked.

"You say concerning, I say I've seen it happen before." Lobo shrugged. "As for Lupin… he's off. There's something wrong with him, he's anxious, agitated… an'not just because he's stuck dealin' with a buncha kids. There's somethin' off about him, and I'd say it's a decent wager he's either been contacted by Black, or is in contact with him. Issue is, I don't know which, and if I try my usual methods, Black'll probably find out and disappear for good."

"Making accusations against Remus could be quite… problematic." Albus replied, and to his surprise, Lobo nodded.

"Yeah, that's why I ain't sayin' it's him just yet." Lobo shrugged. "But something's wrong. An'I can't be the only one who's sensing that… also, I can't tell if he's willingly doing this or not. There's a chance Black found Remus' baby or somethin' and is threatening to kill it should he not cooperate."

"Remus was never married." Minerva said, although she did know he was good friends with a rather quirky witch…

"Neither was I, and I'm pretty sure I have a daughter." Lobo shrugged. "I think. I dunno. I don't really care. Please tell me you don't actually believe you have to be married to get it down in-"

"Please stop."

"Okay." Lobo said, surprising both professors. "But for real, there's something off about him, and it isn't some irrational hate for a kid."

"I believe you may find yourself in agreement with Professor Snape in that regard…" Minerva muttered then raised a brow when Lobo took out a notepad. "What are you doing?"

"Keeping tally." Lobo replied. "That's twice we've agreed on something. It feels weird whenever we do, so… yeah." He shrugged.

Then there was the crap going down between Hagrid and the school over that blonde bitch Malfoy getting his arm 'broken' (although Lobo knew that it wasn't broken, he was just being a pussy) and some weird horse-bird-thing was going to be killed. The Beastmaster was pretty torn up about it, and unfortunately, Lobo had been the only other one around when the news broke.

"Uh… it's okay?" Lobo had slowly said, completely at a loss for what to say or do. Comforting people was something he wasn't good at- no, scratch that. Lobo couldn't remember a single time he had ever genuinely comforted someone that was a flying space dolphin. Now, Hagrid was crying onto his shoulder (sort of, it was weird, he was a giant compared to Lobo, so the awkward embrace was even more awkward.) Lobo had questioned if he should do Hagrid a solid and kill the executioner, or that Malfoy kid. Or both. But decided against it. For now.

"So, what were you doing all year in-between these events?"

"Same ol' routine. Drink, sleep, walk the school. Got t'know the kid's friends a bit better." Lobo remarked, taking a sip from his beer. "Y'know, I have to admit. The two of em' were kinda weird, seemed almost like the friends you'd have because you failed to make real friends, but nah. The three of them were solid."

"Eh, that's Ron for ya." Fred shrugged. "He may not 'ave many, but the friends he does have, they're the real ones."

"True that." Lobo nodded. It was the end of the school year, and he had taken the day off to do what he did best. Drink. However, he happened to run into Fred and George, as well as another ginger, Arthur. Who it turned out was Ron's father. Arthur had been a bit shocked to meet Lobo face-to-face, but had been told a few bits and bobs about him. Lobo had to admit, he wasn't that bad a guy, he seemed friendly enough, and offered to buy Lobo a beer. So, the four of them were at this place, the Leaky Toilet, or something, and Lobo was giving them a run-down of all the insane crap that had happened over the past few months from his perspective. Apparently, there was a lot he hadn't seen, but what he had was weird enough. "Now, where was I… Oh, right. The kid's friends. That girl, Ginger or something, she's different… honestly, there was a time when I though she may not be who she said she was."


"Yeah, I was wrapping up on a lead which ended up being nothing more than whispers and false leads, and I ran into Harry and Ron and the other one on my way back…"

"…and I don't need to explain myself to you!" Hermione snapped, storming past Lobo and disappearing up the stairs. All Lobo had done was say 'Hey', but she went berserk for some reason…

"She's actin' weirder than normal." Lobo remarked, saying what Ron and Harry were thinking. Lobo didn't much care, but in a time where paranoia was the key to survival, he couldn't be careless.

"I wouldn't be surprised if she's trying to do three years of work at once. She really can't seem to be content with being top of this year." Ron admitted. "She's gotta be top'a all seven years at once…."

"Meh, nerd." Lobo shrugged.

"Something tells me you didn't care too much for school when you were younger." Ron remarked, mostly sarcastically.

"Damn right." Lobo nodded. "Although I had a hell of a science fair project in high school, got the best marks outta the entire school." Now, why he got top marks… he decided not to bring up. He had a feeling sooner or later the kid would find out about what Lobo had done to the other Czarnains, but right now, he had enough to deal with. He noticed while he was thinking to days gone past, the conversation had continued.

"…I dunno Ron, it's just… I'm concerned for her, all right?" Harry sighed rubbing his face. "She's acting agitated, unnaturally tense… you saw how she was in Professor Trelawney's class today… Heck, she just appeared outta no'ere!"

"Ya sure you can trust her?" Lobo asked, leaning against the wall. The two Gryffindor students blinked then looked up at him, their eyes asking/accusing him of what he was getting at. "Look, all I'm sayin' is maybe, maybe someone found her price." Lobo remarked, taking a drag off of his cigar… and then then hit in the face with a book. "Agh! What the hel,l ya ginger bastich?!"

"Don't you DARE accuse 'Minoe of that!" Ron snapped, seeming genuinely pissed off by Lobo's assumption. "She's been wi'h us since the beginning! She'd never do anything like that!"

"Yeah? What's yer proof of that?"


"What proof. Do you have. To prove that fact?" Lobo asked, spacing out each part of the question-sentence. He pointed with his cigar, and waited for an answer. Sure, Lobo himself didn't believe that the Granger girl would betray them (despite how smart she was, Lobo doubted she could actually pull a scheme like that off) but, considering how much he was being paid for this job, he wasn't leaving anything up to chance. However, both Ron and Harry seemed offended by the question. "Hey, I ain't sayin' I think it's her, but when there's a psychopath coming for you, ya can't rule somethin' out because you like them. That's how most female killers get to you, then get you thinking with your second head, and then they go for the kill."

Harry and Ron looked to Lobo in shock, then disgust, then anger, and the pair walked off.

"Aw, c'mon! Seriously!? Yer pissed because I'm thinkin' rationally!?" Lobo called at the retreating forms of Harry and Ron. "Fraggin' bastiches…" Well, no-one ever said this job would be problem-less… Still, he didn't think the Granger girl was working with Black, but there was something off about here, more so than usual, and Ron knew something he wasn't letting onto… however, the issue was thus; until there was some sort of move made by someone, Lobo knew attacking the kids to try and get information would be… problematic. Now, if he was paid to do so, would the Main Man kill one of em'? Eh… maybe. He may be a genocidal mad man, but the Main Man had standards. Very, very, very low standards that could often be lowered with cash, but still…

"So, you really thought Hermione, the girl who had been friends with Harry and Ron since day one, was going to betray them?" Arthur asked skeptically as Lobo drank his fourth beer.

"Hey, like I said. It's nothin' personal. But when someone wants you dead, you can't leave ANYONE out of the suspicion ring. Heck, I assume Ron maybe was behind something, but he proved to be on the right side."

"How so?"

"We'll get to that part in a minute. But after all that, I decided we needed a more direct approach…"

"So, the Kid is some sorta Messiah, essentially… and his parents were killed by these assholes, and Black is the bastich that ratted them out…" Lobo muttered, looking at the very poorly drawn chart he threw together. "So, there's still a bunch of this asshole's followers out there, and things might be easier if I was able to find 'em and frag 'em. Probably save the government some money on their prison upkeep. If they're old though, I dunno… Normally I'd let the American Healthcare system kill them, what's it like out here…?"

Lobo was getting irritated at this point. Sirius Black had all but vanished for quite a while now, and the Main Man didn't have any trace of where he could've gone. That was fine, as his job was to protect Harry, not hunt down Black, but at this point, Lobo was so invested in this mystery, that he was having a hard time letting it go. Furthermore, killing Black would remove a Sirius ('Did I really just think that…?' Lobo thought.) issue.

"Screw it." Lobo muttered, deciding that a more direct approach would be needed. He walked through the castle halls, walking into one of the classrooms, which was thankfully emptying, and stared directly at the Professor.

"Are you working with Sirius Black?" Lobo asked pointedly.

"You… you just walked up to Professor Snape, and ASKED him if he was working with him!?" Fred asked, his tone both absolute bewilderment, and utter disbelief, as well as laughter.

"In a way, I thought it was a good plan." Lobo shrugged. "Catch him off-guard, see how his eyes react to the sudden question."

"How'd that go?"

"Not well."

"Is there a reason you have decided to waste my time, Mr. Lobo? Or are you intoxicated once again?"

"I asked you a question, and no. I'm not drunk. Yet." Lobo repeated himself. "Look, Snape, I ain't gonna act like I know you and every thought of yours, but something's off, and yer not exactly actin' innocent."

"And pray tell, if you're capable of comprehending such an ideal, are you implying with such statements."

"There's a stench of death about you." Lobo remarked, and Snape noticeably froze. It wasn't a huge reaction, but to the Potions Master, it was. Lobo narrowed his eyes slightly, deep in thought as he pressed on. "The smell of death and betrayal isn't one that washes out easy, and yer still coverin' it."

"Concealing sins is something you clearly lack the ability to do… as well as act civilly, or even humanely." Snape coldly replied. "You prattle on like a drunken buffoon with no regard for how anyone sees you."

"Hey, yer talkin' to the Arch Bishop of the Archbishop of the First Celestial Church of the Triple Fish-God!"

"Is that supposed to mean something?"

"It means I ain't an Ex-Wizard-nazi." Lobo remarked coldly. "Yer' part'a th'reason the kid's parents are dead, and you still get all pissy at him, for what? The fact that your little orgy group couldn't kill him?"

"..H..how…" For the first time, possibly in years, Snape was completely caught off-guard. The blunt question, compounded by the harsh reminder of his past, and the accusatory remarks were not what he was expecting, and he realized in that moment, he had given Lobo what he wanted. "Now you listen here, and you listen well. You know not of what you speak, the actions I took back then were for reasons a simple-minded fool like yourself could ever begin to understand, and I will not stand here and-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever." Lobo cut him off dismissively. "Truth is, I don't think it's you. But I can't say it ain't until I'm convinced."


"I'm convinced." Lobo nodded, once again, somewhat surprising Snape. "If you were working with Black, you'd be a lot more defensive. You're angrier over the reminder of what you were, which I know isn't what you are. You seem to think all I can think about is booze, sex, money, and killing. And while it's true I love all four of those things, there's so much more to me then you can ever understand."

"You're a mindless brute who follows orders for money. You've never seen real war, you've never seen real death." Snape sneered, his emotions… mixed, right now.

"Izatta fact now?" Lobo remarked, raising a brow. "Well then, how about we fix that…" He pointed to Snape's wand and added: "There's gotta be a memory readin' spell stored in that thing, right? Grab it and use it. See what I really am. Yer magic can't control my mind, but a peek inside? That outta be no problem."

Snape had to admit, he was somewhat curious as to what he would find. He was holding his wand, more out of a need for defence more than anything, but Lobo didn't seem to be making any move to attack.

"Then what t'hell you waitin' fer?! Do it!" Lobo demanded, snarling slightly.

"Legilimency." Snape said in his usual dry drawl.

Now, Lobo had cut this part of the story off with a simple; 'He wasn't the bad guy', and moved on, deciding to not dig up old wounds just yet, and there was a lot he hadn't told Harry yet, even after a few months of knowing him. Still, whatever.

"Weird." Fred remarked.

"Yeah, so things just aren't adding up. Someone, somewhere is helping Black, an ironically, it was Ron who helped figure everything out!" Lobo remarked, then continued before they could ask any questions. "See, you can't tell ANYONE about this, okay? But a few weeks ago, I was doing my rounds, and I saw Ron get attacked by some dog. At first, I assumed it was horny and lookin' for a good time, butt then it dragged him to that old shack place not too fsar off of Hogwarts' grounds."

"The shrieking shack?"

"Yeah, that's the one!" Lobo nodded. "I saw Harry and 'Mione headin' there, so I figured that it was finally going down, and I went back to grab my gear. Unfortunately, my laundry wasn't done, so my belt holsters weren't dry, so that wasted like, thirty minutes-"

"Hold on, aren't you being paid to protect Harry?! Why would you wait thirty minutes after seeing that?!" Arthur asked, confused.

"Also, shouldn't you be with him now?" George asked.

"Okay, so; shut up, and no." Lobo replied. "Not necessarily in that order of answer-to-question. Besides, my holsters had my weapons, and I assumed it was just an angry dog, Harry could deal with that. Also, I hadn't heard him call for me. Also, shouldn't you two be at Hogwarts right now?" Lobo added, leaving out the fact that he had been listening to Metallica with his headphones blaring during the dry cycle, so if Harry had called, he hadn't heard it. Fred and George coughed awkwardly, something about taking the Floo back home, and Ron taking their bags. "Anyhow… so I bust my ass gettin' down there, and there's a freakin' conversation going on when I arrive outside! And it wasn't just Harry and the others, Lupin, Snape AND Black were there!" Lobo added in a hushed tone. "So, yeah. Things were getting pretty weird, and I roll up…"

"Expelliarmus! Ah, vengeance is sweet. How I hoped I'd be the one to catch you. "I told Dumbledore you were helping an old friend enter the castle and now here's the proof…" Snape remarked.

"Brilliant, Snape - once again you've put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and as usual come to the wrong conclusion." Sirius snarked. "Now if you'll excuse us, Remus and I have some unfinished business to attend to."

Without warning, a metal hook smashed through the right wall, splintering the rotten wood to nothing but fractured toothpicks. The remains of the wall moaned and then were crushed to fragments by the thick boots Lobo wore as he stepped off his bike, spinning his chain back around his arm and grabbing his hook.

"Hrm… gotta give you this one." Lobo nodded. "I had a hunch he might be doing this, but you saw what I couldn't. Not bad…" Turning his attention to his target, blood red eyes bore into Sirius' face, and it was clear he wasn't thinking about being merciful.

"You ain't doin' crap, Black." Lobo said, pointing with his hook. "Y'got ten seconds to say your peace before I rip yer throat out and break your arms so you can't magic your way outta here before you're dropped from the sky with a chain around your neck."

"What… the hell… are you!?"

"Th'name's Lobo. That's 'L' as in 'Lacerate', 'O' as in 'Obliterate', 'B' as in 'DisemBowel' and 'O' as in… well, I guess I can use 'Obliterate' twice, don't you think?"

"I think you're a certifiable madman!"

"Hey, I'm calling foul! That line's been used before!" Lobo snapped, and no one had any idea what he was talking about.

"Why are you here?!" Lupin exclaimed, irritated. Lobo was the LAST being he wanted to see right now…

"Because I'm paid to protect the kid, and damn it! I'm gonna protect him, no matter what!"

"You think I trust the word of a genocidal madman!?" Lupin snapped, a mixture of terror and anger fighting for control of his body. "Severus, if you were ever going to do so, listen to me now." Lupin said, seemingly growing rather serious. "What Lobo is, is capable of, makes him a far greater threat than anyone understands! He may even be a bigger threat than the dark lord!"

"Oh, that's hilarious." Lobo rolled his eyes. "Thing is… even if it's just 'cause I'm gettin' paid. I actually give a rat - or in your case, wolf's - ass about him. But you… well, dead, alive, mutilated? Makes no difference to me. Yer on his side, and that ain't my side." Lobo finished, unsure what Lupin was getting at with his previous remarks. What did he know…?

"You're only loyal to Potter because of gold!"

"No s**t! Do you not know how BOUNTY HUNTERS work!?" Lobo retorted, seeming almost irritated at Lupin's lack of comprehension. "How did you ever become a licenced professor if you don't even know how a simple contractual position such as mine works?!"

"Through lies and deceit." Snape said, the venom clear in his tone. "And even then, he had to play to certain… weaknesses."

"Ha!" Lobo laughed.

"Enough! Please, both of you listen to me! I'm not the madman everyone thinks I am!" Black tried to protest.

"Ugh, not THAT line again…" Lobo groaned.

"Give me a reason to end you. I beg you." Snape added.

A gun cocked, getting everyone's attention.

"Professor Snape… I'm gonna ask ya t'back off." Lobo spoke slowly. There was something oddly terrifying about the formal way he was speaking. "I get wantin' t'waste this bastard, but we need to let the courts do that."

"I'm amazed. For someone who killed their own people, you show mercy to a murderer? Is that some sort of kinship you share?" Snape said in his low tone, thankfully, Harry didn't overhear it.

"Nah, I'm just doin' what'll pay me the most." Lobo replied, disregarding Snape's last comment. "I want him dead too, and I sure as hell wouldn't be one accusin' anyone of killing someone they cared for."

THAT did get a reaction from Snape, as his eyes widened in shock, but quickly narrowed back to their traditional scowl. The Potions Master didn't know what Lobo meant by that, and wouldn't put it past him to simply be attempting to aggravate him into making a mistake to give him control over the situation. For once though, Snape couldn't tell if Lobo's presence was helpful, or a hinderance. It was always the latter, but right now? He couldn't tell.

"Severus, don't be a fool..." Lupin said quietly, clearly wanting to find the path of least aggression to settle this matter. However… there was a pretty giant chance that wasn't possible now that Lobo was involved.

"He can't help it. It's habit by now." Black muttered.

"Sirius, be quiet!"

"Be quiet yourself, Remus!"

"Listen to you two, quarrelling like an old married couple." Snape drawled, and Lobo nodded in agreement before turning to the others.

"You three. OUT." Lobo ordered, suddenly pointing his hook at Harry, Hermione and Ron. "Th'adults got some things t'talk about."

"Wait, Lobo. There's more to this than I think anyone understands!" Harry protested. While the three adult wizards didn't turn to look at them, Lobo did raise a brow. Sure, he was pretty sure he was about to murder Sirius and possibly Remus, but if the kid he was hired to protect was asking him to do something… than dang it, contractually he had to at least listen. It was all part of the Bounty Hunters code! But he didn't have to actually do what he was asked, or at least, he had to have a crappy excuse for why he didn't listen.

"Why don't you run along and play with your chemistry set?"

"I could do it, you know... But why deny the Dementors? They're so longing to see you." Snape was now at Black's throat, seemingly not noticing the conversation between Harry, Lobo and Lupin.

"I get the feelin' they ain't wanting to see me though…" Lobo coughed, mostly to himself, looking away semi-awkwardly as he remembered what he had done. And how awesome it had been!

"Do I detect a flicker of fear? Ah, yes. The Dementor's Kiss. One can only imagine what that must be like to endure. It's said to be nearly unbearable to witness, but I'll do my best."

"Snape… back away man…" Lobo growled. "You can't just kill him, even though it'd be a lot of fun!"

Snape looked to Lobo with a look of absolute disgust, and then Lobo added:

"I'll kill him."

"Petrificus Totalus!"

Lobo blinked, then felt like he couldn't move. He wanted to yell, to curse, to flip someone off, to KILL someone! But he couldn't, he was frozen solid. Lupin had heard enough of this beast, and wanted him out of this conversation. An innocent man's life was on the line!

"Geez, getting really tense in there." Fred blinked.

"Yeah, and at this point, I still don't know if it's just Lupin, or if he's also had help." Lobo nodded. "But then outta nowhere, Hermione just up and knocks Snape out cold! It was fraggin' hilarious!" Lobo laughed. "Anyhoo, at this point, I was tired of bein' jerked around and wanted answers…"

"RAGH!" Lobo yelled, suddenly snapping his arms free of the spell. Before anyone could ask what just happened, Lobo grabbed Sirus by the throat and slammed him into the ground, before kicking him over in front of Harry. In the same movement, he punched Lupin through the shack wall and sent him flying into the woods, which were beginning to be illuminated by the moon. Black gasped in pain as Lobo stepped on his back, taking his shotgun off his belt and cracking it open, inspecting the ammo, and snapped it shut.

"Y'said you wanted t'kill the Bastich, here's yer chance kid." Lobo nodded, holding his gun out while looking from Harry, back to Sirius. The latter seemed terrified at the thought of Harry being the one who killed him. "If you can't, don't feel bad. I'll gladly do it for you."

"Y..you're serious?"

"No, he is."

"Oh, bloody hell…" Ron muttered.

"You walked into that one!"

Harry was silent. This man… this man was the reason his parents had died! But… what if he wasn't? Something didn't add up, the Marauders Map, Peter Pettigrew… something was missing, and he felt like Black wasn't the one who needed to be killed… Before he could give his answer, something dove into the shack and grabbed Lobo, a large, quadpedal beast roared and threw him to the ground, then tackled him out the door. The shotgun clattered to the ground and slid away.

"Remus! No!" Sirius shouted in horror.

"Ha! Yer a furry! I knew it!" Lobo laughed victoriously, then struggled to hold the changed Lupin back. He yelled as a chunk of skin was taken off, and he threw Lupin away. "Ahhh F**K IT!" Lobo yelled lurching forward and tacking the changed Lupin to the ground. Knowing he was technically assaulting a Professor, Lobo knew that per his contract, he was just doing his job, and slugged the wolf across its jaw. The creature howled in pain as a splash of blood painted the ground. "HEY! LOU! I don't wanna kill ya! But I totally will, and then I'll wear yer skin like a coat, just saying!"

Lupin, conscious or not, snarled and then lunged forward. Perhaps out of loyalty to his old acquaintances, or his want to protect Harry from the dangers that were out there, Lupin went straight for Lobo. He tackled the Czarnian to the ground and held his head down, Lobo reaching for hus gun… which wasn't there.

"Fetal's Giz!" He cursed. The changed Lupin snarled and opened his mouth… and then howled in pain.

CRACK! Harry lurched backwards as the shotgun exploded, or fired to be more specific, sending gunpowder and pellets flying, nearly tearing his arm off in the process. The force was so much more powerful than Harry expected, and with his frame, he was nearly sent flying by the small explosion. He aimed high above Professor Lupin, but the wide spread still tagged him somewhat.

"Ahahaha! That was great!" Lobo laughed. Harry winced and felt his arm crack as he extended his arm. Nothing was broken, but he felt like his arm had nearly been ripped out of its socket. "Eush… I applaud the effort, kid."

The beast roared, and Lobo grinned. Finally! An excuse for violence! Running forward, Lobo grabbed the changed Lupin and smashed him into a nearby tree. Across his travels, Lobo hadn't really crossed paths with any sort of lycanthrope, or at least, one like this. The mindless beast roared and clawed Lobo's face, tearing a vicious chunk of it off and spraying the room in a geyser of blood.

"DAMN IT!" Lobo yelled, now blind in his right eye… because it was missing. He stepped back, knowing he had to take a defensive- aw, screw it! Lobo grabbed the machine pistol off his belt and began spraying wildly. He knew the kid and the other two were behind him, so he wouldn't shoot them. Most likely. Okay, he wouldn't hit the kid. That would look bad if he killed the one he was paid to protect… "HARRY! GO!" Lobo ordered. "GRAB YER FRIENDS AND GET! I'LL HANDLE THIS!"

"I can't leave you!" Harry shouted, still wincing in pain.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Lobo shouted, now holding the monster by the jaws. He needed a way to knock the wind or life out of this thing…

"Lobo! Go high!" Ron suddenly shouted. Lobo looked up in confusion, seeing his hook coming right towards him. "WHAT THE FU-"

The hook dug into the Lycan's back, and it roared in anger. Lobo looked over and saw Ron grab the chain and tie it around a tree quickly, before jumping as the beast let go of Lobo and lunged at him. "Not bad…" Lobo had to admit, that was some quick thinkin'… and it made beating the crap out of this thing all the easier! Grabbing the back leg, he spun the creature around him, basing its head into several trees before he sent it flying into the air, laughing victoriously the entire time. The chain snapped rigidly, and Lupin was slammed into the ground.

"Yo! Weasley!" Lobo called over the fight. "Good plan!"

"Thanks!" Ron called back.

"Bloody hell, that ingenious!" Fred remarked.

"Yeah, surprised me pretty damn well." Lobo nodded. "So yeah, there was a smackdown and-"

"That's it!? That's all yer gonna say about that?! That you had a fight?!" George asked, sounding almost offended. Lobo finished his twelfth beer then spoke.

"Look, I shouldn't be talking about this AT ALL to you three, all right? You want details, ask Ron."

"Fair." Arthur conceded with a nod. "So, what happened are the fight?"

"Well, it turns out that rat Ron had was a dude, the same asshole I've been chasing all year!" Lobo snarled, irritated. "It also turns out there's more to Black than I reliazed…"

"So, you're tellin' me that this Black bastich ain't a bad guy?" Lobo asked, skeptically and covered in blood.

"I think so, yeah." Harry nodded. "Look, I don't know for sure, but… please don't kill him." It was silent as Lobo seemed to consider something before nodding in confirmation. He could smell a lie, and right now, the kid wasn't lying. So, either he was telling the truth, and Sirius wasn't the one he needed to kill, or Black had managed to manipulate the kid well enough that Lobo needed to frag him on the spot.

"Hey, he don't try t'kill ya, I won't frag his sorry Black ass." Lobo replied. He pulled the hook away from Sirus' throat and took a step back. "Start talkin', Black."

"He's the one who betrayed your family, Harry." Sirius scowled looking down at the quivering Peter.

"Well, that's all I need to hear." Lobo shrugged, suddenly kicking Peter in the face and stepping on his throat. "Anything you wanna say, kid?"

"Then… I dunno." Lobo confessed. "Those dementor things showed up, and one of em' hit me with some bad mojo, knocked my ass out for a minute." Lobo frowned. "It was like that freezing spell, but something… different. "When I came too, I just started killin' dementors left and right, and I couldn't find the kid, and then it all happened so fast…"

"Fraggin'… damn it…" Lobo scowled. These things had learned their lesson and were now swarming him all at once, not trying to feed off his emotions, just burn him to ashes.


Lobo was suddenly knocked to his back by a bright white light, and the whole forest seemed consumed by it. The last Czarnian blinked, then growled, shielding his eyes as a cool wind seemed to envelop him. It was another fifteen minutes, but he finally found Harry, and had killed about two dozen dementors.

"You okay, Harry?" Lobo asked.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Damn straight!" Lobo smirked. "Hey. I would've been there to help, but I kinda had my arm caught in that Remus bastich's throat. Like, stuck down there." Lobo lied. "Still, saw a fancy-ass lightshow go off, that you?"


"Not bad, kid." Lobo nodded. "I have no idea what that was, and to be honest, I wouldn't've thought of it… but you clearly know what you're doing."

"Thanks Lobo, you're like the Dad I always wished I had." Harry said.

"Well, come here son." Lobo said with open arms.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Arthur sputtered. "WHAT happened?!"

"Nah, I'm just screwin' with ya." Lobo laughed, a little tipsy from the nineteen beers he had powered through. "But what DID happen was just as weird!"

"Hang on, explain what the hell just happened." Lobo ordered, a few days had passed since the big incident, and both Black and Lupin were gone, but Lobo made no effort to track them down, they had… an agreement.

"I used this, the Time Turner, to turn back time and rescue Buckbeak so Sirius could escape." Hermione remarked.

"Fraggin' time travel!?" Lobo exclaimed, then burst out laughing. At first, Hermione was agitated by his mocking laughter, but then she began to realize something. His laughter wasn't mocking, it wasn't condescending, he seemed impressed!

"Well, consider the Main Man tricked!" Lobo laughed, shaking his head. "Holy fragaroli, when you said she was th'brains of the school, I thought you meant she was just a huge nerd! Man, time travel! I NEVER would've guessed that!"

"I'm surprised you think time travel is possible." Ron commented.

"Kid, I've traveled through time and space through black holes while riding space whales, time travel is definitely a thing, it's just not something I expected from… well, this place!" Lobo shrugged. "I would've guessed you'd need like, fifty potions to open a portal and not get shredded while going through time, I never would've guessed that thing was all you needed."

"Oh, uh… huh."

"Hey, I'm just sayin'. If y'learn some paralysis spells or somethin', your brains and magic would do ya well as a Bounty Hunter." Lobo smirked, taking a hit from his cigar. "Granted, ye'd need to learn to breath in space, gain some muscle, and probably get a vehicle that can take you there, and… eh, screw it. I think you get my point."

"I believe you were trying to compliment me." Hermione remarked dryly.


"Well, thank you for the attempt." The bushy-haired Gryffindor remarked, and Lobo bowed mockingly.

"So yeah, that's how things went." Lobo concluded, then looked at the clock. "Crap… gotta go!" Not wasting any time, Lobo left and jumped on his bike, heading back to the station at the school. There was one last order of business he needed to deal with.




"Aye mate, who's this?"

"Johnathan? Is… is this working? I don't have much experience with this Muggle contraption…"

"…ugh…what do you want, Lucas?"

"That's not my name. but… never mind. Do you know anything about the creature known as the Czarnian?"

"Oh, bloody hell. How do you know that?"

"There's one in residence at Hogwarts, calls himself Lofo, or Luffy or-"


"Yes, that."


Lobo wrapped his chain around the SpaceHog and made sure he had his twelve-pack on hand for the flight. Yeah, he was gonna drink and fly, what are you gonna do about it? Several students looked in amazement, and Lob approached Harry.

"You wanna ride the train, or ride with me?" Lobo asked.

"I… uh, I'm gonna take the Hogwarts Express." Harry nodded, surprised by his offer. Honestly, he was kinda sad he wouldn't see Lobo for a few months. The Czarnian, despite how crass and weird he could be, was probably one of the nicer adults in Harry's life. And that goes to show you how screwed up his life was… "Lobo, thanks for everything. I'll see you next year…"

"I'm sorry, next year? Kid, you'll see me in like, three hours." Lobo remarked.

"Wait, what?" Harry blinked, confused.

"Kid, I'm yer bodyguard both during and outside'a school time." Lobo remarked, taking a drag off of his cigar. "Wherever you go, I gotta make sure you're alive. Either way, you'd better have a spare couch or somethin' back at your place... Because the Main Man is movin' in!"

Next Chapter: Oh yes. I'm doing that.

Yeah, Snape knows about Lobo's past, but he isn't saying anything… yet. Is this somewhat OOC? Maybe. But think about it: One of these two is a terrorist who stood by as untold thousands, potentially millions died, and the other is Lobo.

Yes! Yes! I know! I know! Put the torches down! There's so much more to Snape than that! But Harry doesn't know that, heck, Lobo doesn't know that.

But, I do have a pair of questions for you: What do you think is gonna happen when Lobo crashes at Pivet Drive? And what do you think will happen to Harry when he has someone watching his back who doesn't take anyone's crap, and doesn't treat him like crap?