I nodded my head vigorously like a dumbass as I said my name, only to stop, horrified as the motion made my tits bounce. The tin men seemed uncomfortable but didn't avert their gaze, nor did the two holding my arms lessen their grip, making me start to panic again.

The tense moment was interrupted as two more people came back down the trail, looking disgusted the second they lay their eyes over me. One was dressed same as the guards, while the other wore some kind of brown and red leather, with a skirt and Roman-esque look to it, carrying some dirty rags. I realized he was cosplayed as a Imperial Soldier.

Why is everyone cosplaying here?! Tears streamed down my face and I let out a small sob, wondering to myself how I got here and who these people are and did they kidnap me? No, they seem way too surprised to see me. My kidnapper must have left me for some reason? As the Imperial Soldier and guards were arguing about something, most likely me, I began to explain that I was kidnapped, did you see anyone suspicious, can you please call 911 already?! But all it came out as was blubbering sobs. The soldier thrust out the rags to one of the soldiers, telling them to "make the crazy woman decent" before the "town wonders how we treat women" and to gag me while they are at it.

Soon enough they had taken the dirty rags, and gagged and clothed me, before marching me down the road to a giant wooden gate. As it opened, I started to question my sanity. It looked nearly like Helgen from the game, the roads, the tower, the wooden houses with thatched roofs, but this place had more houses and a couple more roads leading from the gates. As they marched me through town I stared in wonderment at the structure and the people. I really could have been in Skyrim. I think these people are in a Skyrim cult. That would be the only explanation on why they haven't called the cops. Maybe my kidnapper dropped me here for a reason. Like, so they can sacrifice me to Mephala. My inward mental joke quickly turned sour.

Before long, we made it inside the keep, my struggles amounting to absolutely nothing, not with their metal gauntlets bruising me and their metal bodies unmoved by my own fleshy one. They led me to the torture room, where the Imperial torturers put me under lock and key in a cage next to two other people dressed like Stormcloaks and someone asleep in the last cage.

I don't know how long I was down there. Its difficult when you can't see the sun or a fucking clock. Every moment felt so long, just sitting there dully wondering how I got here. I'd stare into a corner and trace the edges of the cage. Id sleep. Eat and drink some kind of "soup" that was just unseasoned water and potato. Sometimes the Romans would take the two Smurfs into a back room. I tried really, really hard not to think about it. It almost worked. I'm just lucky they gave me a bucket and extra rags unlike the others.

I was very busy trying to think about my horrible high school calculus class and how I failed it, when suddenly the whole room shook violently. Earthquake I immediately thought, very accustomed to them. However, the Roman dudes had been in the middle of unlocking the Smurfs cages as it hit, and they fell to the ground, allowing the smurfs to burst out of their cages at just the right time, one making a beeline to the shudder weapons cage, the other getting on top of the Roman with a hood. They began brawling, fist connecting with stomach connecting with face connecting with- the other Roman tackled the Smurf who was bloodying his comrade, about to plunge his sword into his chest- SLAM- a giant hammer slammed into his arm.

I took a break from watching them and not breathing, adrenaline shooting, to panic over my own situation. I don't want to die from any of these maniacs. I searched around for anything- there. The key to the cage. I quickly put my leg through a gap and picked up the key with my gross toes, and brought it back to unlock my cage. I watched them cautiously, wondering if I open the cage now if they'll suddenly turn on me-

My thoughts were interrupted when an arrow ripped through the skull of a Stormcloak.