A/N: Please read this note, would you kindly?

Yes, this is a fragment, because I'm horribly sick. Still! Daily ...Updates...!

As ever, we're following the Ember's Rule here. That's no joke. Really, it isn't.

If folks don't like this, it'll be deleted. Poof! Gone! Every bit of feedback helps. Reviews are the fuel which keeps me writing in these crazy times. With my tight schedule, I simply don't have time to write a story folks don't like. Without them, my inspiration cannot take wing and I can't write a word. So by all means, speak up!

Now lets answer a few questions, eh? Onward!

Q: What happened to your smut stories?! Write some more romance scenes, damnit!

A: First, don't take that tone with me. Second, you only had to ask nicely. Third, nothing happened to them. I've written more than my fair share of intimate bits in many a story, but

Just because they aren't explicit, jeez...

Q: What happened to Emerald?!

A: See for yourself.

Q: Will you update Practice Makes Perfect soon?!

A: Monday, hopefully. Or Tuesday. Gotta get my car fixed too, so that's taking time to say nothing of my health. Tomorrow's update should be Taking Flight or Embers of Hope. Perhaps even Hearts of Stone. I'm tempted to just update them all at once tomorrow, but even typing is wearing me out...

Alright then, I've kept you long enough. Lets get into the meat of the matter and have some fun!

Once more, I own no quotes, references, or memes. Not a wit or a one. NOT! A! THING!

Papa!Naruto is still best Naruto, and woe betide anyone who hurts his kids.

"One monster marrying another, eh?"

"Heh. Guess you could call it a monster's marriage?"

That's entirely on the nose and you know it. Apologize. Right now.


Baker's Delight (Fragment)

Naruto glided downstairs.

It felt like he was walking to an execution. In that moment, he was keenly aware of the silence that greeted him; the worn wood of the steps creaking beneath his feet, the faint murmur of the quivering form nestled in his arms; the way she clung to him and buried her face into his back, refusing to look at anyone else. Not that he could blame Emerald. Poor girl was utterly out of sorts.

"You're alright." he murmured. "Everything's going to be fine."

"Don't feel fine." her small voice hissed fearfully. "Too many people!"

"Relax." he patted her little head. "They're gonna love you. Just trust in me, alright?"

...kay." she whispered.

He took the steps two at a time, careful not to jostle the tiny body clinging to his shoulders overmuch. She made a tiny keening noise and wriggled closer, determined to hide herself in his jacket. Now a sea of anxious, familiar faces awaited then on the ground floor; he recognized team JNPR among them -the rest of RWBY was still upstairs swarming Yang- but they weren't the ones he needed to convince.

"Yang's fine." he spoke into the silence, commanding their attention. "She's awake and resting. As to the rest...well...there's someone I'd like you to meet."

Raven spied him first and made a beeline for him. She well enough by now to know his tells; to know he was hiding something. Her eyes strayed to the person he was carrying and narrowed. Quick as a flash she was up and over the counter, vaulting over it to regard him. Or rather, the person with him. A hand closed around his shirt, yanking to one side in order to reveal the child clinging to his back.

Crimson orbs met the startled scarlet slits. "You?!"

Emerald regarded her with innocent curiosity, utterly unaware of her identity. There wasn't so much as a hint of fear in her eyes.

...who're you?"

Roman gagged and absolutely died. "Hey, now! Tell me you didn't do what I think you did!"

"Did." Naruto's grin proved utterly unapologetic. "Say hello to everyone, Emerald."

The rejuvenated girl offered a timid wave and ducked her head. "...hello."

Nora squealed. "Aaaaw! Just look at her! She's precious!"

Vanessa seconded it. "She's adorable! I call dibs!"

Pyrrha squawked. "Mother!"

"Emerald, sweetie." Naruto nudged the reborn girl in his arms. "Why don't you go say hello to your new family?"

She looked to him. Back to the happy, hopeful faces.

At length, she nodded.



Sapphire didn't consider herself a jealous woman.

Really, she knew she ought to be content with her lot in life; she was alive, when she should've been long dead. She'd been given a new life out of the ashes of the old. More than that, she was reunited with her son -and a daughter she didn't remember having but apparently existed- and an adopted granddaughter in the form of Neo. Her lover was one of, if not the, most powerful beings on Remnant. And yet! Looking at him like this right here, right now, seeing him holding that little girl...

She scowled.

Unfair, unfair, unfair!

It made her want another child!


Raven did not fear monsters.

There had been a time when she did of course; when she dreaded them, ran from them, wanted absolutely nothing to do with them. She'd committed horrible deeds in the name of that fear. Terrible choices. Awful insults. Petty, spiteful actions she wasn't at all proud of. Choices she couldn't take back, decisions that damned her, both as a mother and a person.

A wise man once said "Everyone creates the things they dread." And so she had. She'd become the monster.

How ironic then, that she'd fallen for one. Fallen so hard indeed.

And now he'd went and gotten himself another kid!

She drew him down and aside as Vanessa and the others cooed over the five-year-old Emerald in the chaos. "What did you do to her?"

Bemused blue orbs pivoted to watch the overwhelmed girl in Vanessa's arms. No, now Sapphire had swiped her. She certainly didn't lack for affection...

"You don't want to know." he muttered at last. "She chose this. Probably better this way. This way she'll have a better life...

And so it fell to her to call him on it. "Why have you done this?"

"Why not?" Naruto shifted his stance, batting her hand away. "She gets a second life full of love, we're rid of a potential enemy. Everyone's happy."

"You say that," Raven planted a fist on her hip, "But it still doesn't excuse what she did."

He scoffed. "Then why give her to me at all?"

...I don't know." she huffed, trying not to show her weakness. Perhaps it would have been cleaner to kill her at the docks. But she hadn't, and so the fault fell with her.

"Why are you being so difficult about this?"

A rare flash of irritation danced through those soulful blue eyes, pleasing her to no end. Her tongue flitted out, licking her lips. Sadly, he quashed it before it could spark up a rage. Pity. She rather liked him when he was angry these days. When he got angry, he got rough...

"You made me soft." when he tried to reply she jabbed a finger against his chest. "Enemies are for ripping and tearing. Not sparing.

A blond brow rose. "By that very logic, you and I wouldn't be together, then."

Her throat closed. Damn him.

Raven willed herself to be calm; to not lash out as he desired. She took a deep breath to steady herself, reached across her body, and gripped her right wrist until she felt the bones creak in her grasp. The pain gave her focus; centered her before her tongue could betray her.

until their ward was well out of earshot.

"That's not fair." she glowered bloody red daggers at him. "We weren't enemies."

"No?" the other brow rose to join the first. "Funny, I seem to recall you trying to stab me seven ways to Sunday when we first met."

Urk. "That was ages ago! You can't fault me for that!

"No?" Naruto stepped in, pulling her further back from the crowd. As a matter of fact," His lips glided along her ear, drawing an involuntary pleasant shiver from her, "I believe the words "Date you? I'd rather stab myself!" were used at the time. Quite forcefully."

Raven made angry Raven noises. "Absolute bastard!"

He kept pressing, the bastard. "And what else? Oh right, there was that time with the rooftop-

The last thread of her tattered self control snapped.

Raven's lips sealed soundlessly against his, stealing his words away before he could embarrass her further. Her body crushed into him, all but slamming him against the nearest solid surface. Not one to be outdone, Naruto took hold of her by the hips then lifted her rear. She wrapped both legs 'round his waist for that, only for him to whirl and press her against the wall in turn. Desire sparked and held her close. Yes! That was more like it! She gave a little mewl of pleasure as his hips ground against hers...and then he let her go.

She scowled after him. "You're a cruel man, Naruto Uzumaki."

He walked away with a spring in his step.

"Don't I know it."

To his credit, he made it all of four steps before Vanessa Nikos got ahold of him.

Her eyes were all but burning wit flame.

"Lets have a chat, darling. Upstairs."

Then she hauled him off.


"Now just calm down, Nessie!"

Naruto couldn't recall the last time he'd seen Vanessa Nikos angry. Truth be told he didn't think she had it in her. She was usually so sweet.

Now? Now her face was carved from granite, her green eyes twin chips of angry jade.

"I will not." she dragged him into the spare bedroom. "You've kept me waiting."

Vanessa had a glazed look in her eyes. A palm itself on his chest.

Say what you would about Maidens, but they were damn strong. Vanessa was Nikos was no shinobi. She never would be, but she still had the strength and appetite to make an Akimichi blush. Not for food of course. No, her hunger lay in more carnal areas. She didn't undress; that was not the way of the warrior, nor the champion she'd been. She ripped her jacket away, uncaring as she shredded the fabric. Her shirt went with it. Huh. Red lace. She remembered what he liked.

Naruto felt his mouth go dry. "You know, I never get tried of that.

Her bra slapped him the the face. By the time he'd wrested it free her trousers were a puddle on the floor. Vanessa didn't walk. Walking was for civilians. Pedestrians. She stalked, his in full sway.

"I want you." Her lips ghosted across his neck, leaving a line of fire in their wake. "Its always Raven, Raven, Raven with you. I think its high time I had my turn...

Her hands laced back through her hair, freeing it from its braid. Crimson hair cascaded free, ghosting over her pale skin.

"That's a fair proposal-ah!" Naruto gasped a little as she stepped in and bit his ear. "You make a good argument...

"Don't I?"

She pushed him back to the bed and crawled atop him. His fingers fumbled with her panties even as she ripped his belt away. His trousers soon joined it. Pity. He'd rather liked those pants and-oh, she was doing that thing with her hips again...

The door swung opened before either could find the release they sought.

"Mother," Pyrrha's voice inquired, "Why did you drag Father up here-MY EYES!"

Vanessa looked up, hair fallen over her bare breasts. "Hello, dear. Did you need something?"

Pyrrha made horrified Pyrrha noises as she slammed the door shut tenfold.

Both of them exchanged a bland look. "Are you alright, sweetie?"

An anguished wail greeted them, piquing into a shriek.

"I cannot unsee what I have seeeeen!"

A/N: Really not feeling well. Might to Urgent Care after I post this fragment...

As ever, reviews are my lifeblood. Without them, I cannot write.

So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Revieeeeew, Would You Kindly?

They keeps an old man alive.

And enjoy the previews.

As ever:




Get ready to smile~!

Obvious references are obvious~!

(POTENTIAL!) Previews! What can I say? I've been busy.

James Ironwood opened the door. Blazing red eyes met his. His body locked up.

"Scream and your entire staff dies."

A hand closed the door behind him.

"James, James, James." Naruto hummed as he stepped out of the dark, "I always thought you were so much...smarter than this." his head shook slowly. "I'm not angry. Just dissapointed. The great general of Atlas. A learned man." he clicked his tongue in mild admonishment. "Now I see you weren't. Because your boys were sniffing around where they really shouldn't be." His fingers rose, cradling a spark in the dark. "I don't take kindly to trespassers."

"I did no such thing."

...not a lie, then. Alright. You're going to help me find an annoying little parasite. His name is Watts."

"I don't see any reason why I should help-

The blond shoved him into a chair.

"Sit the fuck down, son."

His world crashed.


Ozpin whistled softly to himself as he sauntered into Haven.

There was nothing quite like visiting old friends...

"There he is! The conquering hero!"

Naruto grunted as a hand slapped him on the back. "Hey, there's no need for that."

I always say: keep your friends rich, and your enemies rich, then wait to find out which is which."

"You don't say that, Naruto."

"You're right! I don't. But the point stands. We've made our move. Lets see how they answer."

"Watch your tone. Whatever you may call me, I AM your father. Remember that.

I brought you into this world. And I can take you right back out of it!"

"Yes, papa...sorry papa...