She realized she had to get back in the moment the door closed behind her. She couldn't just leave, couldn't just run from her feelings, not this time. She had to talk to him. So she went to the kitchen door and sneeked back in, up the back stairs and straight to his room. To her relief, noone had noticed her.
"What do you want here?" He did his best to ignore her, packing his things to distract himself. She tried not to be discouraged by this. "I wanted to talk to you" she answered in a quiet voice. "I said everything I had to say downstairs" he replied coldly.
"Then just listen. The things you said… Do you really think I don't know that? Do you really think I don't know that I'm pathetic? That I'm lonely, and always have been, and will be until I eventually stop breathing?" He finally stopped packing looked her in the eyes. "Then why do you so stubbornly insist to keep living this way?" he asked harshly. "Because I'm scared, Niles."
Whatever he wanted to say was caught in his throat. She took a deep breath. "I'm used to this life. I'm used to be alone. I have accepted that. But a serious relationship? That might fail? I thought that might break me." She was close to tears now, he realized, even if she tried not to show it. "Then why are you here?" he asked, now much calmer. "Because… when you walked up that stairs, away from me, on the prospect that it would be forever… I realized that this was what would break me. Never seeing you again. And… not giving us a chance."