The Secret Journals of Trance Gemini Entry 1

I have lived amongst the humanoid and other bipedal beings for quite some time now. I must admit, it is quite a strange existence for one who is accustomed to spending her days drifting in the heavens. Though I have always lived outside of the existence of these many and varied peoples, I now find myself living outside of the existence of my own people as well. At times, it can become very lonely for me. It is, for that reason, that I have decided to compose my thoughts in a personal diary.

It was not such a problem when my younger self was with them. They found me charming..."cute" as they would say. It was easier then to hide my my true nature from them. But when I changed places with my younger self, they became a bit afraid of me...distrustful. I can hardly blame them. But I felt like I had lost my family. Especially Seamus. He is my very best friend, and now, he treats me like a stranger. I can only hope that one day I will gain his trust again, as well as that of the others.

There are problems with my real family, as well. They believe that I have become too emotionally involved with my friends. Well, I think that they are wrong in assuming that this is a bad thing. I truly believe that compassion, loyalty, and friendship are some of the most important factors in fighting the Abyss. And so, as I look at all of the many, possible futures, I always see myselves entangled with the crew of the Andromeda Ascendant.

Even though I know that I will be with my friends, come what may, I find myself feeling isolated. They know that I have abilities beyond what they currently understand. But I cannot explain to them at this time the reason that I am truly here. I think that they would feel betrayed...betrayed that I had not trusted them. But, it is for their safety that I do this. It is not yet time for me to reveal myself. To do so now would prove disastrous for everyone.

The moments between, when I am not calculating, are difficult at best. I find myself crying. Perhaps my family is correct in saying that I have become too emotionally attached. But I would not give up my friends for anything in all the known universes, and beyond. They complete me. Perhaps that it why it is so hard for me when they do not understand. They see me as strong, and powerful. I wonder what they would think if they saw my true frailty. My people would most certainly disown me for this. What about my other family? The crew of the Andromeda Ascendant? I know that I am not alone in my fight against the Abyss. But, what about personally? Am I alone? Will I always be alone? Who can know my experience? No one, I think.