Two men walked into Cheers, naturally everyone there looked up to see who they were, but as it was, they were newcomers to the place. One of them was a beefy guy wearing a plaid shirt, leather jacket and jeans. His hair was certainly combed an unusual way and he had mutton chops, overall, he looked as though he had been cutting trees for a living. The other was much thinner, wearing a brown coat, a scarf and fedora and despite the fact he was indoors, he didn't take off his sunglasses. The two of them said nothing as they walked up to the bar and had a seat.
"So, what can I get you guys today?" asked Woody.
"Two beers, preferably a German one for my friend here," said the one with mutton chops.
"But I'll drink anything you've got," his companion said. Woody nodded and got them each a drink.
"You guys are new, ever been to Boston before?" asked Sam.
"You might say that, we live in New York though," answered the one with sunglasses before sipping on his beer.
"Ah, New York, huh?" Did you know that New York City is not the capital of the state because when it was originally established, it was not easy to access because of the fact that it was on an island? That's why Albany, with its strategic location for trade on the mainland is the capital of the state," said Cliff.
"Mr. Smarty-pants," said the one with mutton chops.
"You two got names?" asked Woody.
"My friends call me Logan, he's Kurt," answered the one with mutton chops.
"Good afternoon everybody!" announced a very familiar voice.
"NORM!" everyone shouted as Norm Peterson came in and he walked over to his usual spot. Almost by instinct alone, Woody poured him a beer.
"Looks as though somebody is a regular visitor here," observed Kurt with a smile.
"It's the best place to get away from Vera," stated Norm.
"Is Vera somebody who threatens you?" asked Kurt.
"She's my wife," answered Norm. Kurt and Logan were a little surprised to hear that response. Carla came in from the pool room carrying up some now-empty glasses, after she dropped them off, she walked over to Logan with a flirtatious grin.
"Well hey big boy, what brings you around here? Trying to get yourself a lucky girl?" she asked.
"We're here on an errand for our boss to find someone we believe has certain skills that would be beneficial to our job," replied Logan irritably before he finished off his beer.
"Hey, if your boss is willing to pay better than what I got here, I'll be willing to work over at your place," said Carla, never bothering to tone her voice down. Kurt and Logan looked at each other with sly smiles. Kurt got down from his barstool and stood calmly in front of Carla.
"Alright then, if you can beat me in a fight, we'll give it consideration, because that's going to be a major factor, being able to fight," he replied never losing his smile as he took off his hat and scarf. Now everybody could tell that he had exceedingly pale skin.
"Y'know, a little bit of sunshine might actually do you some good," observed Cliff. Now Kurt took off his sunglasses, and Carla wasn't sure, but his irises seemed an odd color: yellow.
"Oh, that's just a genetic mutation," quickly replied Kurt, when he noticed that Carla was looking into his eyes with suspicion. Logan merely laughed and ordered another beer as he relaxed in his pose to watch the upcoming fight.
"Whatever you say, pale boy. I could beat the both's of you without breaking a sweat!" replied Carla. Sam quickly got out from his normal spot behind the bar and got between the two of them.
"Well now hold on! If there's going to be a fight in this bar, I want to set down some rules! First of all, Cliff, Woody, can you help me move some of these tables?" he stated, never once losing his smile. Cliff and Woody quickly moved to help clear an area. When they got back to their spots, Sam stayed put while the rest of the bar watched with anticipation.
"Alright, nothing below the belt. And try to stay in this cleared area. First things first, I want the two of you to shake hands," instructed Sam.
"If she wins, she won't be here to give me a hard time anymore, if he wins, I won't ever let her live it down, so either way, I win," Cliff whispered to Norm. Meanwhile, the two opponents were shaking hands and Carla noticed something on Kurt's wrist.
"Is that a rosary? Are you Catholic?" she asked.
"Oh yes, I wear that for comfort and protection," answered Kurt.
"I was raised Catholic myself, guess you better start praying that I don't send you to the ER," she said. The two then got into the fighting pose, Sam was counting down when everybody heard: "What is going on in my bar?!" Everyone turned to see Diane come out of her office with a nasty scowl.
"This bozo said if I could beat him in a fight, I could work for his company. I'm surprised his burly friend didn't offer to do it," answered Carla.
"I just thought I'd let Kurt be the one to humor you. Out of the two of us, he's the comedian," answered Logan.
"Well, I'm not having a bar fight here, it'd look really bad on my record so you two can break it off right now!" warned Diane. Her voice was such a whip crack everyone knew the fight they were anticipating was now dead. Carla and Sam started putting the tables back in their places, Kurt and Logan even going the extra mile to help with that.
"Hello everyone!" Frasier announced as he and Lilith entered the bar. They came over to a table and sat down. Their friends merely waved in greeting as Carla went over to take their orders, she was disgruntled about not being allowed to participate in a fight.
"So, out of curiosity, what kind of business are you two involved in that would require fighting? You involved in one of those top-secret government agencies, like the ones you see in the movies?" asked Sam with a smile.
"Oh no, we're with the Charles Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters," answered Kurt.
"Wait, I think I've read something about that school, like its name suggests, it caters to incredibly bright minds, and you're clearly not students there, are you faculty members? What do you teach?" asked Frasier who then stood up and walked over to the newcomers upon hearing the name of the school.
"Oh, I teach Physical Education and he's the school counselor," answered Logan.
"I can see why you're in physical education," replied Frasier, looking Logan up and down. He then went over to Kurt.
"So, what type of counseling do you do at a school for the gifted? As a therapist myself, I think you and I might have had similar fields of study," he asked.
"Well, like any other school counselor, I help the students see through their problems. Oftentimes I try to get them to figure out the solution on their own," answered Kurt, as he sipped his beer once again.
"No kidding, with a genetic mutation like yours, I bet you've had your fair share of problems growing up!" snarked Carla as she placed the Frasier's drinks down at their table. Frasier had noticed the yellow irises in Kurt's eyes, but as a trained psychologist, he tried very hard not to look like he was staring at them, or try not to draw attention to it.
"Hey, hey Carla, don't be so hard on the guy. I mean, there's mutants that have traits that make them a little more than human that you hear about on the news. I mean, there's this one guy who apparently can control metal, imagine the type of damage he'd be capable of," said Cliff.
"Yeah, especially even in a kitchen where there's more than enough metal knives. Heck, he could control kids with braces," agreed Norm.
"It ain't no laughin' matter bub! If you've had to face him at some point, you might not be crackin' jokes!" Logan finally snarled. Norm practically jumped out of his seat with dexterity that was surprising for a man of his girth.
"Okay now, there's no need to be snapping. I mean, the fight idea was fun, but there's no need to scare anyone here," said Woody, trying to keep calm.
"You seem to have met this Magneto fellow, the way you talk about him has all the characteristics of someone who was in a fight with the guy," observed Frasier. Now Logan and Kurt looked at each other.
"Well, I guess the jig is up," said Kurt. Here, the two of them stepped down from their barstools, everybody watched them with nervous anticipation. Logan raised his hands up in fists and suddenly, three metal claws literally came out of his hands! Everybody gasped! Now it was Kurt's turn, he reached at his belt where everybody could see he had some kind of handheld device, he clicked it, and was transformed into a blue individual with pointy ears! The bar was once again filled with gasps!
"That's not all I can do!" said Kurt with a mischievous grin. He somersaulted and used his previously hidden tail to hold onto a rafter! Now everybody was applauding.
"Well now those are some neat party tricks! How d'you do them?" exclaimed Sam.
"We're mutants, nature gave us these abnormal gifts," answered Logan.
"If I hadn't noticed you wearing a rosary before you transformed, I would've thought you were a demon from hell!" exclaimed Carla, pointing directly at Kurt.
"Yes, it makes it difficult for me to attend mass regularly. I sometimes use this little device to appear normal, we were hoping to cover ourselves up, but when you started asking about the school, well, it appeared we weren't going to be able to keep it secret anymore," said Kurt as he hopped back onto the floor.
"We told you when we came in, we were looking for someone. Our boss, Charles Xavier, believes there to be a mutant with powers that might be useful in our war against mutants who think 'normal' humans should be eradicated," explained Logan, whose claws returned to the insides of his hands. Then the two returned to their seats. Sam took a look at Logan's hands.
"There's no mark that they were there? And doesn't it hurt?" he asked.
"Heh, my mutant power grants me fast healing abilities, which is why I was able to survive the procedure where they graphed my skeleton with adamantium metal. And yes, every time," answered Logan.
"Y'know something, if you're protecting us 'normal' humans, as you call us, that means you're heroes, you may not get the recognition you probably deserve, but I think you're alright in my book," said Cliff as he walked over to the mutants and offered his hand to shake. The two of them accepted the gesture.
"Hey, here's a fun idea! Why don't you guys take Cliff back to Jersey with yeh! He's practically a mutant himself!" suggested Carla. Everybody except Cliff had a good laugh. Logan then pulled a photograph from his shirt pocket and showed it to Woody and Sam, explaining that was the guy they were looking for and if he had ever frequented the establishment. Neither of the bartenders recognized the man in the photo. They showed it to a few other customers, and of all people, Norm recognized him!
"I've done painting at his house one time! I think I still have his number, maybe I can get you in touch with him! I thought there was something strange about that guy!" he exclaimed.
"In what way?" asked Kurt.
"Well, I thought I imagined it but a good number of times I was over there, he always seemed to turn up right behind me and I never even heard him come in! Y'know, just appeared without making an announcement and without expectation! Also, he kept a pet tarantula!" answered Norm. It was at this moment Kurt demonstrated his ability to teleport. Appearing and disappearing in a puff of smoke right behind Norm. That caused not a few people (Norm included) to spill a significant amount of their drinks.
"Like that? Is that how he seemed to turn up unexpectedly?" he asked with a smile.
"Well, there wasn't any smoke, and when you did that, your mumbo jumbo made a loud popping noise and now I smell Sulphur," said a now shaky Norm.
"Well, the Professor didn't tell us the nature of our guy's powers, but what you described doesn't really prove anything. From what I hear, plenty of normal people keep tarantula's as pets," said Logan who was now laughing.
"And now I'm going to have to help clean that mess up! But it was funny!" shouted Carla as she, Woody and Sam all grabbed rags.