I couldn't leave Jay, I didn't know why I just couldn't. I should have been able to go to work but I couldn't leave. I walked up to one of his luxurious bathrooms and splashed some water from the gold-lined sink onto my face. I knew I was a homosexual, I had embraced it a while ago but I had never fallen for my best friend. I couldn't fall for Jay, he was in love with my cousin. Despite everything, she had done to him and he still loved her. Here I was though, still waiting for him, I didn't know what I was waiting for but I had to support him. I put both my hands on the shiny granite counter and leaned against it trying to control my breathing. I kept telling myself I couldn't fall for Gatsby, it wasn't allowed and he would never love me. I was still panting when I heard a gunshot. I was running and running towards the pool where Gatsby had told me where he would be when I heard the second gunshot. As I pushed the door open I saw Gatsby in the pool. The water was already red.
"Someone help!" I cried out before jumping into the pool.
I didn't think twice before diving to save Gatsby. I grabbed his body and dragged it out of the water.
"Please, Jay, stay with me! Please, Jay! I need you! More than you know..."
Jay lay limp in my arms when a butler ran out, saw the commotion, and ran back in to call an ambulance. For minutes more, which felt like hours, he was still, his eyes didn't move. I tried to stop the bleeding but more blood kept coming and I could barely see because of the tears in my eyes.
The ambulance drove Gatsby far away from me while the paparazzi surrounded me. Thousands of questions were asked and cameras were swarming me but I didn't say one word. I sat there still in my clothes which were still incredibly wet from when I had jumped into the pool but could only think about Jay and if he was okay. I took his fancy bright yellow car and knew I had to see him. I had to see Jay and regardless of his state, I had to tell how I feel because I was realizing I may never have the chance again.
On the drive to the hospital, I felt like I was going to throw up not knowing what was happening. Luckily my clothes had dried on the ride over. I burst through the doors of the hospital, "I need to see him!" I shouted to nobody in particular.
"Please sir," the lady at the front desk started, "who?"
"Gatsby!" I yelled, "Jay Gatsby! I need to see him."
The lady must've taken 20 years to find his room before replying, "he is room 212."
"What's his condition?" I asked I needed to know before I saw him.
"He's stable now," she said
I asked a doctor where room 212 was so I could quickly find Gatsby. I took a deep breath and slowly entered the hospital room that felt forbidden.
I saw Jay all bandaged up and tears pricked my eyes. They started coming down my face when I realized Gatsby wasn't awake.
"Oh Jay, please be alright," I cried placing a hand on his perfect face that was thankfully unharmed, "this is all my fault I shouldn't have left you. I should've stayed with you by the poolside and you could've been alright right now."
I rubbed his still face with my thumb. I didn't think this would do anything but I definitely noticed how smooth and soft his skin was. I didn't understand how everything about Gatsby was so perfect. I knew that's how he built himself to be perfect but I don't understand how he succeeded so well. Sure I knew he had flaws and he wasn't the most ethical person I had ever met but still, he was picture perfect.
"It's...not your fault...old sport," I heard Gatsby murmur.
I was about to pull my hand away from his face but when I did Jay took his hand placed it on top of mine and put it back on his face.
"Jay, I have to tell you something."
"What happened?" he asked stopping me from my confession.
"You don't remember?" I was confused.
"No, what happened? Why am I here?"
"You were shot. I found you in the pool," I started crying harder, "I thought you were gone."
"I'm fine, old sport. I can't believe you did that for me."
I didn't know how he could say that in a hospital bed, with his whole torso bandaged and his eyes barely open.
"You didn't deserve death, you're a young man with lots of life to live still."
"You wanted to tell me something Old Sport," he said, switching the topic of conversation.
"Jay, I'm a homosexual."
"You are?" He questioned.
"Yes Jay, I am. And I have umm feelings..." I trailed off before finishing the sentence. Jay stayed silent, his eyes looking into my like he was trying to read my soul.
"I have feelings," I started again, "for you."
Jay once again stayed silent.
"I'm sorry, I know I'm a fool, I know you could never love a man! I'll just leave, I'll send someone else more appropriate back for you," I stood up from his bed that I had sat on next to him and started to leave. I didn't know who I was going to send back, Gatsby didn't have many true friends. I could send Jordan but I doubt she would want to talk to me. I thought about Wolfsheim but I'm sure he would be reluctant to come to such a public place such as a hospital.
"Nick," I heard Gatsby say meekly from his hospital bed.
I stopped moving. This was the first time he had ever said my name.
"You called me Nick," I said, not turning back around to face Gatsby, "not Old Sport."
"Nick, stay with me."
"Why? I'm just a no-good homosexual," I spit out barely turning around.
"Nick I want you to stay here with me, " every time he said my name like he knew the power it had over me.
I turn around, "You're not afraid? You're not disgusted?"
"Of course not. And I'm afraid that..." Gatsby seemed fully aware. His eyes were wide open and I started walking towards him again.
"You're afraid of what?" I ask him.
"I... umm come here Nick," when he said my name I couldn't refuse him. I walked towards him and stood at the very edge of his bed.
"Sit down, Nick."
My name, he had to say my name so perfectly like nobody else ever could. His voice was just like his smile, it was one you would rarely hear in your lifetime and could never be replaced. I had to follow his command, his voice was absolutely hypnotizing.
"Nick," Gatsby said softly.
"Yes?" I asked.
"Lean down," he requested.
My eyes were wide. I know what I wanted to do but I didn't know what he wanted to do.
"Jay, do you know what I'm going to do?"
"Yes, I have a feeling I do Nick, but do you know what I would do if you did it?"
"No, Jay and that's why I'm so scared."
"Nick, kiss me."
If my eyes could get any wider they definitely did. Yes I wanted to kiss Gatsby, yes I wanted him to demand me to kiss him but I was still terrified.
"Nick, I'm not happy that you haven't fulfilled my requests."
I leaned slightly and let out a loose breath across his lips, "are you sure about this?" I asked.
His arms wrapped around me, he pulled me down, and he kissed me.
"I don't like when you tease me, Nick."
I hated that he stopped but I realized how wrong this all was.
"Jay, I can't do this. I needed to tell you how I felt but I can't do this. You are still trying to get over her and here I am taking advantage of your vulnerability."
"Nick, I don't believe you have ever done a wrong thing in your life."
"I'm far from a perfect man."
"Then kiss me again," he demanded and I put my hands into his hair and played with it as I followed his command which I knew I would always do.
I stopped when Jay started flinching in pain.
"I'm sorry, I forgot you were injured, I didn't mean to put so much weight on you, especially your torso."
"No, don't stop, I'm fine, " he sounded like he was begging and this was the first time he sounded... Desperate?
I slowly climbed back onto Gatsby, "is this fine?"
Jay nodded. I leaned down again slowly making sure Jay wasn't in any pain. Then Jay flipped me over.
My eyes got very wide again and there was no way I was prepared for that to happen.
"I'm not fragile," Jay claimed.
"You were shot! I was being cautious."
"Throw caution into the wind. You kissed me in a public place with cameras. You can't be that concerned."
Jay kissed me again and I moaned into his mouth loving every moment.
"Can you do that again? Make that sound? I like that sound." He asked.
"Say my name," I demanded.
He lowered his head very close to my ear, "Nick," he whispered and his lips brushed my ear.
Jay then attacked my neck, I closed my eyes in pleasure and moaned again my only goal being to please Jay.
"Excuse me?" A nurse who we didn't notice entered the room, "Mr. Gatsby shouldn't be performing that much physical activity. You also shouldn't be doing that in general. It's disgusting!"
"So what if we are both men?!" Gatsby shouted. Even as an 'out' homosexual I was never that aggressive. When people told me I was disgusting, which those who I came out often did, I just nodded and told them I knew I was but that I couldn't change. Many claimed I could change and that there were places out there for people like me to be straight.
"Oh, nothing Mr. Gatsby," the nurse said as she turned pale, "I just brought the waiver for you to sign to be released. You can go home and do whatever you two want," she rolled her eyes in disgust.
Jay stood up to get the forms and grabbed his side in pain. He staggered over there and signed the forms quickly.
"You're free to leave," the nurse said, grabbing the papers and scurrying out of the room.
"We can go back to my mansion," Gatsby suggested.
"I brought your car, come on," I said.
"Wait, I don't have a shirt on," Gatsby complained.
I hadn't even noticed but when he said it my eyes drifted around his muscular chest and abdomen.
"My face is up here, ol...Nick."
I like how Gatsby corrected himself. I wasn't just like everyone else who he called Old Sport, he called me by my name.
"You can have mine," I said as I smirked and began to take off my shirt.
"No, no, that's not necessary..." he trailed off as he too began to stare at my now bare chest.
I usually didn't feel comfortable around others and the last thing I would ever do is take off my shirt but I was just so different around Gatsby.
Gatsby snapped out of whatever trance he was in looking at my chest and looked at the spot on my neck where he had bitten me which I bet was already starting to bruise.
"I don't want anyone to see you shirtless," Gatsby said possessively.
"You say that like I'm your possession," I remarked.
"You're not a possession but you are definitely mine."
"I don't believe I ever said I was. I only said I had feelings for you and you never even said if those feelings were reciprocated or not."
"Nick, don't make me say it."
"Say it or I'm not putting my shirt back on."
"Nick, I have feelings for you and I really want you to put your shirt back on so we can go back to my mansion and I can show you how much I feel," Gatsby said pleading.
I slipped my shirt back on and threw my arm around Gatsby's shoulder and he did the same and used me as a crutch as we walked out of the hospital room. Let's pretend that is the only reason why I had slugged my arm around Gatsby, was to support him.