5Chapter 1 - Spider's trap
It began again as simple as waking up from a deep sleep where for a short moment, I waded in between remnants of sleep and wakefulness. Broken parts of thoughts and memories jumbled in my mind, jumping from astounding views of green fields and hills to dragon flames and screams, and of a Lonely Mountain under siege.
I remembered a tight embrace around my shoulders, dragging me away from the prying eyes and the whispers, from the bright yellow lights, the gems and all the gold. The embrace tightened until I couldn't move anymore.
The binding around my torso, unlike the visions, remained in place once I gathered back my consciousness or in this case, my sanity, slowly freeing myself from the spider's trap that was my mind. I was drenched with sweat under the covers. It reminded me of fiery flames on my skin.
I sluggishly turned and crawled into a sitting position to better acquaint myself to my new surroundings and in an effort to lighten the burden in my throbbing head. Taking slow and steady breaths, I took note of my surroundings slowly and focused on my breathing instead of my racing heart.
Judging from the wrapping around my torso and the chain firmly locked from the bed's post to my ankle, I can deduce that I must've had a very bad episode. And that I wasn't going to be let out of my room anytime in the near future.
A book sat on a red worn couch near the fireplace; more of it was piled on the low table in front of it, on the floor, on the vanity table, and on the writing desk. The bookshelves that stood sentry in the room were also filled to the brim with them. They were, as they have always been, my constant companions, but if I was to be quarantined for another decade or two or until people forget about my existence and until one of my brothers, possibly Balin, give in to my charms, I was going to need more bookshelves and more books to keep me from… well from going fully mad, I suppose.
The brown furs gifted by my eldest brother were neatly laid around me, gleaming under the candelabras' flickering flames. The candles were fresh and an empty chair was beside my bed. All was deathly silent except for the popping noises from the fireplace, telling me that my last episode must have been some time ago.
The door knob twisted and opened slowly. My brother's greying head popped in and I watched as his eyes brightened up and slowly dimmed upon seeing me. He held a tankard of smoking tea in front of him, one he must have brought for himself while he waited for me to wake.
''How are you feeling?'' He asked as he pulled the chair closer to my bedside.
I smiled and winced as my lips cracked in their dryness. I opened my mouth and only managed a pained croak.
''No, don't speak yet, namadith. You need to rest your voice.''
Which meant that I must have damaged my voice again. For a moment, I forgot that I was bound for I tried to reach to touch my painful throat. It felt like it was wrapped with sandpaper from the inside. Swallowing was nearly impossible.
''Here.'' Ever the vigilant brother, Balin leaned over and started to undo the binds with careful hands. He smelt like smoke and peppermint. I closed my eyes and leaned on his shoulder, filling my nostrils with the comforting scent.
I wanted to ask him who had seen the episode, wanted to ask how I was like, and if it was so bad even though I knew for a fact that it must have been.
It was a feast, for Mahal's sake. It was Prince Thorin's 24th name-day.
And I had wanted to come so badly. So badly that my heart ached. I wanted to see the walls outside my rooms. I wanted to meet new people, make friends, hear laughter beside my own and Balin's.
And because it has been nearly a full two years since my last incident which indeed was very mild to be called one, my brother Balin agreed to let me go with the intention of letting me stay for just an hour.
And I was happy with that. I promised most solemnly that I would leave even after half an hour for an hour if it must be. For a minute or so outside my rooms for me would have been like a season of wonder.
And how wonderful it was. The elaborate pillars reached up to the high ceilings which were veined with gold and gemstones glimmering like stars would've. The blue flags bearing the crest of Durin decorated the walls proudly and towering carved statues of dwarven warriors were stationed on the halls, kneeling as if to welcome their queen as I floated past them with goosebumps racing up my skin. I had felt that if not for my brother holding me down, I would have floated away.
The bright lights, all the gold and the magnificence. I had no idea which was brighter, the candlelights, the gems or the people. The dwarrowdams twirled in their ball gowns, hiding behind their elaborate fans as they gossiped and giggled at so many handsome dwarrows...Oh and Prince Thorin who wore a royal blue tunic and a dark fur coat with silver gauntlets around his arms which should have been as big as my thighs! I had expected him to be as golden as King Thrain or even the sun but he was all black, silver and blue. And even from afar, I knew he was handsome.
And they all had seen me. Or heard me…
My shoulders slumped in relief from being free of my restraints. I did not realise how stiff my body was until my brother had finished unwrapping me from the binds. Balin threw the long slivers of the white cloth over his shoulder to the floor absently and proceeded to knead my numbed arms.
''I asked-'' he paused his ministrations but was unable to meet my eyes. ''- to have them removed once you had calmed, Kassa.'' He swallowed. ''But they said it was best to keep you safe.'' He breathed. ''Just in case.''
Kassa. I was only Kassa when Balin was sad.
His hands travelled down my arms to my cold hands. ''Let us have you changed.'' He said and reached for the bell on my bedside table, only stopping when I touched his hand. I shook my head no.
I didn't want any maid or anyone to see me too soon. Or more like, I didn't want to see anyone else too soon. I remembered Dwalin. His dark forbidding eyes and eyebrows furrowed in disappointment. It was as he had feared. He must be beyond himself and furious with me right now. And this hurt more than the whole kingdom seeing me at my worst.
''Then, I will fetch you fresh clothing.'' Balin stood and walked to my small closet. I looked down at my pale hands in the meantime, haf listening to my brother hum as he tried to decide which of my sleeping dresses to get, and half reminisced about the Dwarrowdams at the Feast and how beautiful they were. A band was there playing merry music as people ate and danced around. There was a steady hum of activity in the air. People roared in laughter, cried and greeted each other gaily. My brother even whispered to me that he would introduce me to the Prince before I retired and that I should keep it a secret to Dwalin then...
A sudden loud pop sounded from the fireplace, pulling me from my reverie and reminding me of deafening roars and fire, the thuds the dragon's footsteps made as he thundered inside Erebor and stepped on many of her people, their blood and the rest of them splattering on the floors, their frightened screams and the angry ocean made of molten gold.
The vision!
''Nadad-'' I croaked again, only to stop as pain ignited in my throat like fire; like thousands of nails were embedded in the flesh of my throat. My stomach hurled and I swayed in my place, head swirling.
I absently noticed my brother ran back to my side, dropping the clothes he must have had in his arms. Glass clinked as he poured honeyed water into a cup. I blindly grabbed for the notepad I kept in the first drawer on my right, pushing the cup away from the lips for a moment. I needed to tell him.
''Dragon, nadad. A dragon c-comes and destroys E-rebor'' I wheezed to him brokenly as I battled his hands away. ''My book. I'll need to write it down-'
My brother's warm hand wrapped around my wrist firmly but gently. He laid my searching arm back down to the bed and another hand coaxed me to lie back down to my pillows. Balin leaned over me, eyes crinkling and welling up with unshed tears. I struggled from his weight. ''Nadad. Dragon.''
He shook his head, tears finally falling to my face. I shook my head to tell him I wasn't talking mad. That it felt too real and so unlike the odd things I had seen before. Not like the gleaming towers, the roaring carts that held people inside and the moving pictures. That I knew in my bones that this time, it was going to happen. Soon.
For I had seen our home, the very mountain that I was securely locked in, fall, under siege by a dragon!
''Hush, namadith. Hush now. It's okay. It's not real, my dear. Not real.'' He whispered. I sobbed as he caressed my hair down to comfort me.
He blindly reached for something as he pinned my arms between us easily. I knew what it was the moment I heard the delicate clink of glass. I smelt the sharp lavender scent it released in the air as he uncorked the vial and before he placed the tube right under my nose.
''Nadad...''
''It's not real, Kassa. It's not real.''
And the candles were blown out.
Not two months later, the two sons of Fundin watched as fire and their stone halls fell, for Smaug, a fire-drake from the north had come.
Just as their lost sister had said.
*Nadad - older brother
*Namadith - younger sister
AN: I do not have a lot of knowledge about Arda and its inhabitants but this is just a little something I've been playing around in my mind for a while. And because I haven't written properly for a long time, I am a bit rusty and decided to do some practice! I welcome some constructive criticism and advise! Let them come! I am determined to improve. Also, I am hoping you are well from the coronavirus wherever you all are! xx