Author's Note: This chapter is inspired by a FGO comic called "Equivalent Exchange."
Arturia Alter was sitting on a sofa in one of Chaldea's recreational rooms, eating a hamburger. "Mmmm...as expected, hamburgers made by Shirou are the best. Even the hamburgers from the famous fast-food chains can't compare to them..." she thought as she continued to take bites out of her hamburger happily.
However, it was then she noticed a certain heroine watching in the distance at the entrance of the room.
That heroine was Mysterious Heroine X Alter, and she was staring at the hamburger Arturia Alter was eating.
"Hm...why is she looking at the hamburger Shirou made for me...?" Arturia Alter thought.
Soon, Mysterious Heroine X Alter soon went up to Arturia Alter while staring at the hamburger at the same time. "What do you want?" Arturia Alter asked.
Mysterious Heroine X Alter pointed at the hamburger. "That hamburger...I want some of that..." she said as she proceeded to grab it, but Arturia Alter quickly slapped her hand away.
"No. This burger is mine," she declared.
"I see." Mysterious Heroine X Alter then pulled something out of her pocket, which was a small box of chocolate mushrooms. "Then how about this? I give you some of these chocolate mushrooms, you give me some of that burger. Deal?"
Arturia Alter still held on to her hamburger with an angry look on her face. "No."
Arturia Alter was silent for a moment before continuing the conversation. "Because this burger is made by Shirou himself."
"Eh? Shirou made that?" Mysterious Heroine X Alter asked in wonder.
"Yeah. Earlier, Shirou made me a hamburger set to eat in case of emergencies. Therefore, this burger set is mine only, and you can't have it. Furthermore, the value of this burger set made by Shirou outweighs the box of chocolate mushrooms you bought, so no. No burger for you."
Mysterious Heroine X Alter let out a sigh of defeat. "Aw well, at least it was a try, although why does she get a burger from Shirou? I want one too..." she thought sadly as she began to walk out of the room. However, when as she did, she bumped into a certain person.
And that person is Emiya Shirou, who was holding two bags.
"Hm? Shirou? What are you doing here? And what are those bags over there?" X Alter said.
"Hm? Ah, let's just say that...I think I made a bit too many hamburgers in the kitchen earlier during lunch and I figured I want to share some of them. Do you want some?"
X Alter's eyes lit up upon hearing Shirou's words. "Yes. I want some burgers."
"Great. Let's find a place to sit then."
Shirou and X Alter then headed back into the recreational room. As they did, Shirou noticed that Arturia Alter was still at the sofa, eating the hamburger he made earlier. "Oh, hey there Alter."
"Hey there Shirou. What's with those bags over there?" Arturia Alter mumbled while eating her hamburger at the same time.
"Oh. There's more hamburgers in them. Want some?"
Arturia Alter's eyes lit up. "Yes!"
Soon, Shirou and X Alter soon sat down on the sofa Arturia Alter was sitting on earlier, with X Alter sitting really close to Shirou. Upon seeing X Alter's actions, Arturia Alter got jealous and decided to do the same thing as X Alter. "Two can play at that game..."
Shirou let out a small sigh as he grabbed for a hamburger from the bag and took a bite out of it. As the three continued to eat, X Alter asked Shirou a question. "Hey Shirou, can I ask you something?"
"Sure. What is it?"
"Well...are you free this Saturday?"
Shirou gave X Alter's question some thought and replied, "Yeah. I think I might be free this Saturday. Why?"
X Alter let out a small smile. "Well, I was wondering if you can-"
"Sorry, but I have plans with him that day. So sorry, but no," Arturia Alter interrupted.
Shirou was surprised for a moment. "Alter?"
X Alter glared at her. "And what makes you think you can do that? Don't you have something to do with on that day?"
"Hmph. I'm already done with that a long time ago," she said as she angrily stared at X Alter, which in turn, X Alter did the same thing as well.
Shirou sighed nervously at the situation in front of him. "Um...listen, how about all of us calm down and figure out a solution. Okay?"
Both Arturia Alter and X Alter looked at each other for a few more seconds before saying their answer in unison. "Fine," they said before they went back to their hamburgers.
Shirou let out a sigh of relief as the situation was diffused. "Phew. That was close. At least it didn't end on a fight between the two..."
Little did Shirou know that it was not over yet...
Lancer Arturia Alter let out a sigh as she was walking down the hallway. "Phew. I'm exhausted. There were so many enemies I had to defeat in order to get master to safety...well, at least I can relax in my room right now..."
As she continued to walk down the hallway, it was then she caught the scent of hamburgers in the hallway. "This smell...it's the smell of burgers. And not just any burgers...these are Shirou's burgers!" she thought excitedly. In an instant, she quickly followed the smell of hamburgers. Eventually, she reached the source of the smell, and when she did, she saw that there was not only burgers in the room.
In the room was Shirou, Arturia Alter, Rider Arturia Alter, Santa Arturia Alter, and Mysterious Heroine X Alter, sitting on different sofas and in the middle of them all were a table of hamburgers.
For a moment, Lancer Arturia Alter felt a surge of jealously rising in her body. "Hey! That's my Shirou! Quit hogging him! Especially with all of those hamburgers!"
"Lancer Alter? Is everything all right?" Shirou asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.
"Hm? Ah, yeah...everything is fine..." she replied while trying to keep the jealously and anger inside of her body from exploding.
"I see. Anyways, want to join us? We still have quite a few hamburgers left over."
"Sure." Lancer Arturia Alter then sat at an empty seat on a sofa next to Rider Arturia Alter and Mysterious Heroine X Alter. As she did, she then grabbed a hamburger that was on the table nearby her and took a bite out of it. "Delicious..." she thought happily as she then took another bite.
As everyone was minding their own business, Shirou then got off from his seat and headed towards the exit. "Shirou?" Rider Arturia Alter asked.
"Relax. I'm just going to the bathroom for a moment. I'll be back shortly."
"I see. See you later Shirou."
Soon, Shirou left the room, leaving the altered servants in the room together. As the altered servants were left alone in the room together, some of them started to have a conversation together.
"So, how did you get here?" Rider Arturia Alter asked Lancer Arturia Alter.
"Simple. The smell of burgers brought me here. Speaking of which, are these burgers made by Shirou?" Lancer Arturia Alter replied.
"Exactly. That's what brought us here as well," Santa Arturia Alter asked.
"I see. Well anyways, until Shirou gets back, let's enjoy the remaining burgers that are on the table right now," Lancer Arturia Alter said as she took a bite out of her hamburger.
Everyone else agreed and began to finish their burgers. As time passed, there was one hamburger left on the table.
However, there was one small problem.
Everyone wanted that burger.
Arturia Alter then reached for the remaining burger, but Lancer Arturia Alter was not going to let her have it. "What are you doing?" Lancer Arturia Alter asked.
"Isn't it obvious? I'm getting the last burger that's on the table," Arturia Alter replied.
"No. That burger is mine. I won't let you take the last burger made by Shirou," Lancer Arturia Alter growled.
"Go ahead and try, but you will fail."
As both Arturia Alter and Lancer Arturia Alter glared at each other with angry looks on their faces, they didn't know that Santa Arturia Alter was heading for the burger but was stopped by her Santa counterpart.
"And what are you doing with master's burger?" Rider Arturia Alter asked.
"It's the last burger made by Shirou that's on the table. And I deserve it," Santa Arturia Alter replied.
"No, you don't. That burger is mine."
"Well then, try and get it."
Meanwhile, X Alter attempted to secretly grab the hamburger under her counterparts' noses. However, she failed because the moment she touched it, everyone else's eyes immediately stared at her. "What?" she asked.
"Don't you even dare," they all said in unison.
X Alter was grumpy for a moment. "And why?"
"Because that burger is mine," they said in unison.
"No. It's mine," X Alter argued.
"Not in this lifetime," they said in unison.
For a moment, nothing happened between the group of alters as they were trying to figure out their next move. Eventually, Arturia Alter broke the silence. "Well, this is getting nowhere," she said as she began to brandish her sword.
"Oh. So, it's a fight you want," Lancer Arturia Alter said as she materialized her spear.
"Yes. And the winner gets the last burger on the table. Is everyone in agreement with that?"
"I agree with your terms," Rider Arturia Alter said in agreement.
"As do I," Santa Arturia Alter said.
"Me too," X Alter said.
"Very well. Now then...begin!"
And in an instant, the alters began fighting against each other, each of them swinging their weapons at each other. As for who was fighting who, Arturia Alter was up against X Alter while Lancer Arturia Alter against Rider Arturia Alter and Santa Arturia Alter. The fight between the two groups were intense as their weapons clashed against each other, with no intention of backing out.
It was a good thing that they were the only ones in the room.
"You know...I never thought I would fight you over something like this..." Arturia Alter said as she swung her sword at X Alter.
"Me neither...but, you know what they say, all's fair in love and war..." X Alter said as she dodged Arturia Alter's sword swing. "And I don't plan to lose!"
Meanwhile, despite the disadvantage in numbers, Lancer Arturia Alter was faring well against Rider Arturia Alter and Santa Arturia Alter. "That last burger will be mine! Even if you may be me, I won't let any of you have it!" she yelled as she thrusted her lance at her Rider and Santa counterparts.
Both her Rider and Santa counterparts dodged the thrust and Rider Arturia Alter used her Lancer counterpart's attack as an opportunity for an attack. "Likewise! That burger is mine!" she yelled as she swung her mop.
"Hmph! Like I would allow any of you to take it!" Santa Arturia Alter yelled as she did the same as her Rider counterpart.
As both Rider and Santa swung at each other and Lancer, Lancer Arturia Alter blocked their swings with her lance and forced them backwards. As time passed, everyone would switch enemies, fighting for the last hamburger that was on the table.
Eventually, the fight was reaching a stalemate, neither servant was giving up.
"Well then...looks like we reached a stalemate," Arturia Alter said.
"Seems so...let's finish this, shall we?" Lancer Arturia Alter asked.
"Agreed," Rider Arturia Alter said.
"Yeah. Damn the consequences...time to unleash the noble phantasms..." X Alter said.
"A bit overkill...but it's the only way..." Santa Arturia Alter said.
Soon, everyone began to raise their weapons for a few seconds...and they unleashed their noble phantasms on each other.
"EXCALIBUR MORGAN!" Arturia Alter and Santa Arturia Alter yelled.
"RHONGOMYNIAD" Lancer Arturia Alter yelled.
"HEARTBREAK MORGAN!" Rider Arturia Alter yelled.
"CROSS-CALIBUR!" X Alter yelled.
And the entire room was in a blaze...
Shirou let out a sigh as he was walking from the restroom. "Phew. That took longer than I thought. I hope nothing bad happened while I was gone..."
However, Shirou's thoughts would end up proving him wrong.
Because in an instant, he heard a giant sound followed up by an explosion in the distance. "Oh no..." he thought as he headed towards the source of the sound and explosion. Eventually, he reached to the source and his mouth dropped upon seeing what the source was.
Which was a completely ruined room and the unconscious bodies of Arturia Alter, Lancer Arturia Alter, Rider Arturia Alter, Santa Arturia Alter, and X Alter on the ground with their weapons out as well.
Shirou was completely shocked upon seeing the ruins. "WHAT IN THE ROOT JUST HAPPENED WHILE I WAS GONE?!"
Meanwhile, Arturia Alter and her counterparts were walking up from the destruction they just caused. "Ugh...what happened...?"
"Well...looks like we overdid it..." Lancer Arturia Alter said.
"Seems so...the room looks completely damaged now..." Rider Arturia Alter said.
"Yeah. We're in for a complete scolding this time..." Santa Arturia Alter said.
X Alter let out a groan as she got up. "I agree...wait, the burger!"
Upon hearing X Alter's words, everyone else immediately got up to see the condition of the burger. As they did, their faces were in despair as the burger itself was completely gone from the clash of their noble phantasms.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" they thought in unison.