If you are unfamiliar with zefrank1's popular True Facts series on YouTube, you NEED to change that.


Here we will explore True Facts about the Dory. The Dory is a subspecies of Tang Fish that was accidentally overlooked when evolution was passing out the Grey matter. It is the only know descendant of the ancient, non reproductive organism known as Ellen DeGeneres, as its questionable mental stability and disinterest in procreation clearly shows.

Dorys hail from the land of Pixar, a prosperous commonwealth known for containing the most diverse range of merchandisable wildlife on the planet. To increase their marketable potential, Dorys have devolved their memory capacity over millions of years to the point where they are virtually retarded. This biological leap in the wrong direction has served to greatly increase its relatability to the dumbass children of today, most of whom are just as mentally incompetent as the Dory itself, minus the innocent charm. Dorys are solitary creatures who spend their lives seeking the family and friends they have inevitably forgotten.

The Dory was first discovered in in 2003 by Dr. Andrew Stanton, a bold Pixarologist who dreamed of discovering the perfect blend of marketable physical cuteness and adorable mental illness. The discovery was hailed by the Pixar scientific community as an historic breakthrough, with Pixar chief scientist Steve Jobs reporting, "We are going to make so much F##king money!"

The species was first unveiled to the public in 2003 to critical acclaim. Over the years, the species' popularity has grow to such an absurd extent that it's now the only fish that children under the age of fifteen can universally recognize, allowing thousands of moms and dads to fool themselves into thinking that Disney is actually teaching their children something useful, and not just milking their nostalgia for everything its worth.

An unforeseen and unfortunate side effect of the Dory's popularity is that the Marine industry has seen a sharp drop among aquarium employees, hundreds of whom have chosen to flee their jobs and seek refuge as extras on Deadliest Catch rather than suffer having yet another prepubescent smart ass ask them, "Is that Dory?"

Honestly, Its a good thing I never had to work at an aquarium or I would have gone postal years ago.