Patton and Fanny


Patton and Fanny had a very different relationship than to those they had grown up with. As opposed to others, who had mostly been childhood sweethearts, they began their relationship when they were in high school. It took a lot of pushing from their friends (namely Rachel and Chad) to get them to admit their feelings for each other.

Everyone had known that they had secret crushes on each other ever since middle school. However, both of them were too proud to say anything. Once they hit high school, eventually their feelings came out to each other in a very bizarre way.

Nigel was hosting a party at his place, to wish Chad good luck in the Army before he shipped off for basic training. The night was full of memories to be made.

As one of his last memories with his friends before shopping off, Chad had pulled Patton aside and said "Come on dude, it's now or never."

"I don't know, Chad. You know how prideful she is, won't wanna go out with me." Patton claims.

"I know someone JUST as prideful. And I'm looking right at him." Chad counters.

"Come on, I'm not like Wally when we were kids."

"That's correct, you're not Wally. At least he had the balls to admit how he felt about Kuki. I know you have a crush on Fanny, and I am NOT going to Fort Jackson without seeing you man the fuck up and ask her." Chad says to Patton, who knows that Chad is right.

"Fine, I'll ask her." Patton admits defeat, while walking off to find Fanny, who is talking to Rachel about him.

"C'mon. From one girl to another, we both know you want him." Rachel bluntly states.

"Christ, would you drop it? I'm… not in love with Patton." Fanny lies, but Rachel isn't buying it.

"Yeah, and Harvey and Dalia's puppy love didn't annoy the shit outta me when we were young." Rachel counters.

"Fair enough, but you had selfish reasons for that. You just hated that your little brother got his sweetheart before you got yours." Fanny argues.

"Touché." Rachel says, before noticing Patton walking over to them.

"Speaking of sweethearts, I see yours walking this way. Good luck, Fan." Rachel says, patting Fanny on the back and giving Patton a sly wink.

As Rachel walks off to find Nigel, Patton and Fanny are left standing alone together. Neither of them want to be the one to ask first, out of fear of being told no.

"So, Fanny… um… wanna have a drink?" Patton asks.

"Yeah, sure. At least there's vodka in it." Fanny says, as Patton pours her a drink from the punch bowl.

"I think this is the same stuff Hoagie made for Memorial Day, what was it called?"

"Patriot Punch, I remember Hoagie drank more of it than any of us put together." Fanny answers, causing the two of them to laugh. As the two begin to loosen up around each other, they begin to drink more and more of the punch. By the time they are both on their fourth drink, they are both on the couch on the verge of passing out.

"Fanny… I wanna tell you something. You are the… prettiest goddamn girl I ever met." A completely shitfaced Patton manages to say.

"Well… I think you're a dead sexy beast… with a body sculpted by gods." An equally shitfaced Fanny replies.

"Well, well… then." Patton then blacks out on top of Fanny. Fanny then passes out on the couch. Everyone else at the party notices this and decides to each find a place in the treehouse to crash.

To the pair of them, the rest of the night is a blur. Waking up the next morning, Patton wakes up with Fanny passed out on top of him. They are both on the floor, under a heavy blanket, with neither of them wearing any clothes.

"Oh god. What did I do?" Patton says to himself, finally realizing what had happened.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that you both had a good time. In more ways than one from what I can tell." Nigel says, walking over to them with two plates of scrambled eggs.

"What's this man?" Patton asks, looking at the plate of eggs.

"Hangover cure, you're both gonna need." Nigel explains.

"Ah, thanks man and hey. We'll wash your shit before bounce." Patton says.

"Wash it twice." Nigel quips.

"Christ, would you keep your voices down. My head is pound…" Fanny says, waking up and realizing what has happened. "Oh, fuck me." Fanny says to herself.

"I think once is enough for one day." Patton deadpans, resulting in Fanny slapping him in the face.

"This isn't the time for jokes, smart ass. We need to figure out what to do now." Fanny states.

"You don't need to worry, Fanny. You're gonna be fine. Just eat the eggs." Nigel says.

"Shut up, Nigel. How can you be so calm about this?" Fanny snaps. Suddenly, Rachel comes out of Nigel's room, wrapped in a giant blanket.

"Because Fanny, you're not the only who went wild last night." Rachel quips, walking up to Nigel and wrapping him up with her in the blanket.

"We'll leave you two alone. And don't worry, everyone else is gone." Nigel says, before getting two plates of eggs for himself and Rachel, and walking back into his room.

"Okay, so… um" As Patton tries to stand up, Fanny puts her full weight on him and hugs him tight.

"No, don't do that. Don't just leave me like that." Fanny pleads.

"No way in hell. I'm not just gonna hit it and quit. I just wanna move onto the couch, my back hurts." Patton explains. Patton stands up and carries Fanny onto the couch with him, keeping wrapped up in the blanket.

"So, I think it's safe to say we're official." Patton says.

"We better be, this feels good… in an unconventional way." Fanny says.

"Oh I agree, and hopefully we get MORE times like these." Patton quips.

"Don't press your luck." Fanny replies. The two of them spend the rest of the morning cuddled up on the couch, before cleaning up and leaving Nigel's place.


Over the next few years, Patton and Fanny are practically inseparable. Being the only child to a widow, Patton's mom, Inga, is apprehensive at first but quickly warms up to Fanny after finding out that she and Fanny are both members of the National Organization for Women. As for Fanny's family, it is a different story. Having known Patton for years, Paddy and Shaunie are initially scared of the idea of Fanny dating him. However they quickly warm up to the idea, as Fanny has become much more relaxed with Patton by her side. Fanny's mother, Molly, loves that Fanny finally got herself a boyfriend. She even tells Patton embarrassing stories from when Fanny was little. Her dad is a different story, as he hates Patton with a passion and believes that he'll just use Fanny and leave her. When Patton was told this, he responded with "I wouldn't ditch her like that, I'm not you." To which, he is immediately embraced by Fanny and Molly. They both tell him that he is a keeper for showing such a display of dominance in such a situation.

After graduating high, Patton entered into the ROTC program for the Army. Working through college, the two live together in Columbia, South Carolina. While Patton is training to become an officer in the Army, Fanny is studying law enforcement in order to become a police officer.

By the time Patton has finished with his training and education, he is a First Lieutenant. He is sent back to Arlington with Fanny, where he is given a job at the Pentagon. Fanny also is hired by the Arlington Police Department, having Hoagie as her partner. Though the two are not married, they both continually talk about it and agree that they will do so when the time is right.

Deciding not to do an elaborate wedding, the two decide to marry at a courthouse. Those in attendance are just their immediate families, choosing to spend the day with them and have a party with their friends the next day.

Another big surprise hits Fanny the day after the party with her friends, she discovers that she is pregnant with twins. Though she was hoping to have girls, she eventually found out that they were both boys. Being pregnant with two kids, Fanny is on maternity leave five months into her pregnancy.

The day they were born, Hoagie was patrolling around the Pentagon when Fanny had called him on her cell and asked him to drive her, knowing how fast of a driver he is. Knowing that Patton should be included, he called Patton, who barely was able to leave his office. Hitting the wailer, they sped to his house to pick up and bring her to the hospital.

After Hoagie leaves the two at the hospital, Fanny gives birth to the two boys. Born within two minutes; the first baby is named Frank and the second one is named Patrick.

Patton at one point quips, "You know, we can tell them who's older all we want. They're still gonna fight over who's actually older."

"I have no doubt about that." Fanny replies.

While staying in the hospital, both of their families stop in to visit. Paddy is excited that one of them is named after him. Fanny receives cards from Hoagie, their captain, as well as other cops in her precinct. Parton received congratulations from several people who work for him at the Pentagon, several generals, and even Vice President Safely.

One night, Patton falls asleep in the room with Fanny and the boys. Holding both sons i. her arms, Fanny looks at them and says, "You are mommy's perfect little angels. Nobody's ever gonna tell you different. I love you both with all my heart. Mommy loves you, and Daddy loves you too." Falling asleep, Fanny does so in a peaceful fashion, she has all her boys together with her.


End of the chapter. Honestly, this was the hardest chapter to write in the story so far, but it was one of the most fun. Of all the couples to have an awkward morning, I think Patton and Fanny would DEFINITELY be at the top of that list. I also think Fanny would be the kind of mom to both smother you with love, and chew your head if you screw up. I also have a headcanon (for both continuities) that Fanny's parents would be divorced. The next chapter is going to be about Sonya and Lee. Until I publish that, happy reading!