Authors Note: A lot was written ABOUT Castle Chair, this is something light after a couple of more dramatic pieces, the story of the beginning of Rick and Kate as told by his chair. OF COURSE, THIS IS AU, with only brief flashes of Canon. I'm not sure how it will go, but here goes. The voice of the chair is bold and italicized
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Previously from Dust Jackets Dot Com
ESPOSITO (indicating CASTLE in the Captain's office)
Other than your boy there? No.
What's he doin' here?
Maybe he likes you.
CAPTAIN ROY MONTGOMERY
Captain. Yes, sir?
Mr. Castle has offered to assist with the investigation.
It's the least I can do for the city I love.
Considering the nature of the crime scenes, I think it's a good idea.
Sir, can I talk to you for a minute. In private?
Monday after Beckett's Appearance at Castle's Launch Party.
Kate turned away in anger, steam could almost be seen coming from her ears, everyone steered clear of an angry Kate Beckett, that is everyone but one famous writer named Richard Castle.
"Detective Beckett, where would you like me to sit, now that we'll be working together?" he asked in his smug jackass manner that did nothing but piss off Beckett even more.
"We're not working together, you're here for a short time, got it? I'll see about getting you a chair, but don't be thinking about moving in, you won't be here long Mr. Castle, I can assure you of that."
"What if I grow to like it here, I mean I do have skills you don't know about yet"
"Great when a fictional person gets murdered by a fictional character, I'll be sure to look you up. For now, keep your mouth shut, Ryan and Espo are looking for you a chair to sit on. DON'T Touch ANYTHING on my desk or sit in my chair, or I will shoot you, understood?"
"Are you always this crabby or has your love life hit a dry spell?" Rick asked, and was immediately bent to his knees with his ear firmly in the grasp of one angry detective yelling out "Apples Apples, that's my safe word, let go you lunatic"
"Mention my personal life one more time, and I will shoot you, friends of the Mayor or not, understood" She was dead serious with the emphasis on the dead.
"Understood", he grimaced with his ear still in her grips "Where do you want me to sit, eh, where is the best place to observe you, Detective Beckett," he quickly rephrased his ask,
"Ryan, Espo, go get our guest a chair, from the 6th floor, where we keep the ones for our special guests" She barked,
Ryan looked at Espo, then caught Becketts's eye roll, to go get any chair, she didn't care from where.
"You got it, Boss, be right back" as Javi pushed Kevin out in front of him
"Javi, there's nothing but junk up there, stuff that no other department wants, what the hell are we doing going there," Kevin asked still not catching on to the ruse
"You Idiot, Kate just wants him to have something to sit on, nothing too comfortable, he might get sick of the treatment and leave her alone in a few days. There are some junky chairs up here, I saw them a few weeks ago" as they walked into what looked like an entire floor of discarded office furniture, old phones, desks, and a few ratty chairs,
"Oh, I get it" the Irishman finally caught on after losing his wonder of one of his heroes, he was a big Rick Castle fan,
"Hey how about this piece of junk, Javi?"
"Who you calling junk, you overgrown altar boy If I had arms, I'd kick your ass"
"Did you hear something Javi?" Kevin looks around,
"No, I didn't hear anything, that used to be Perlmutter's chair, he's about as nuts as Castle is, so from one asshole to another, that piece of shit will work" Javi replied,
"You fucking taco hound, I spent more time with your girlfriend's ass on me than you ever will, she does have a nice ass, but then again, she's dating one"
This time it was Javi who paused and looked around, he wouldn't give in like his wus partner, but he thought he heard something as well
"Come on Javi, wipe it down, at least then we can let him see if it will hold his weight, God only knows when that piece of crap was even sat on"
"Full of insults aren't we Irish, well if you must know, it was when Roz Karpowski was a rookie patrol officer and got it on with her TO, yep you guessed it, she sat on me, held me, did everything but scream my name, best chair sex she ever had, you were still practicing safe sex with yourself, you idiot,
Javi and Kevin wiped the chair down, well barely as they appeared off the elevator, and placed it beside Kate's desk.
"You want me to sit on that? You have to be kidding?" Rick exclaimed
"Look Bigshot Writer, I'm not too thrilled to be holding your fat ass up either, so shut the hell up and sit down to see if you're going to put me out of my misery, I might get lucky and you break me, get out of here and to the recycle yard.
"Not everyone has your resources, Mr. Castle, we make do with what we have, do you want to sit down or stand, makes no difference to me, but if I catch you in my chair, I'll shoot your ass, clear?"
"Clear" as he gently placed his weight on the chair, surprising to Kate and the boys it didn't break apart, and leave him on the floor.
"DAMN, how much DO you weigh, time for the weights and leave off the cheeseburgers you're killing us both"
And so, it began, life with the Detective the writer and me, the chair. I have stories I could tell you, but Nah, another day. I will say that I noticed the change in the Detective before the writer did.
Candela Case Wrap Up
Kate could see that the case really bothered Castle a great deal, it seemed kids were the only thing the man loved more than himself
As Kate cleared the Murder Board, well, in this case, the Kidnap board, Rick sat deep in thoughts, what kind of person would subject your spouse to that, your child, how deep was the hate? Even on his worse days with Meredith, he would never"
"Easy Writer Man, all's good that ends good, besides who wants to stay with a woman like that, even if she was hot, that's all you guys think of. Me, give me a gentle velvet, sleek legs, some nonskid covers for those legs, stack us and I'm a happy chair, and NO I'm not gay, there are male and female chairs you asshole."
"Rick, it's over, the little girls safe, you did a good job, thanks for your help today. I don't think Will or I could have solved it without you."
"You're being nice Detective, don't let it become a habit, but you would have solved it, you two are the cops" I'm just a Dad acting like any Dad would do when their little girl was gone.
"Look asshole, Beckett doesn't compliment anyone, I think she's beginning to fall for you so don't blow it with the macho comebacks, accept them, she's hot and she's got a nice, well I don't have to tell you, I know you've been checking her out for weeks.
"Rick, you say that so sadly, did you ever have trouble with Alexis getting lost?" Kate asked with concern in her eyes, as she laid her hand on his arm, and locked on his eyes for the first time,
Rick told her the story about her falling asleep behind a coat rack when he was shopping and the panic, he still feels to this day 14 years later. It wasn't lost on him that she had looked into his eyes or touched him,
"As I said, I have a million stories, but I'm not sharing. It was truly a love story, with two knuckleheads that seemed hell-bent to screw up a perfect love. What happened? What do you think happened, they got married, had kids, and I'm in the Captain's office with a sign DO NOT TOUCH BY ORDER OF CAPTAIN KATE BECKETT CASTLE? Not Bad for a piece of junk that almost got tossed, IF you want to know more, read their story on Fan Fiction, or watch it on youtube, I'm tired, Chair OUT !"