The moment she pressed her lips against Xander's she regretted it. Like, immediately. But here she was, hiding down in Buffy's basement from the giant, creepy bug dude that kept exploding in a shower of worms and was somehow gonna use the worms to .. kill them? Gross them out? She didn't know - but nevertheless she seemed to have found herself in another life or death situation.
And the thing with life and death situations … they were always kinda sexy. With the way they made your heart beat faster and your skin tingle with warmth - your whole body would be flushed and flooded with heat, not knowing if this was your very last moment on earth. And there was just something about knowing you might be about to die that made you wanna live extra hard - heightened all your senses and made you just wanna grab at something, anything, to make you feel alive - whilst you still were.
Only … right now, she seemed to have grabbed Xander Harris. And her lips were tingling and her heart was thumping and the whole air seemed electric. They had been fighting - right before the kiss, of course they had been fighting. What else would her and Xander do? But that meant her already increased pulse rate was being pushed through the roof, her skin had felt like it was on fire … and then they were kissing. And all those feelings were dialled up to seven thousand.
But, it was still Xander. They broke apart, staring at each other in horror at what they had just done. 'We so need to get outta here,' Xander said.
Days later, when the worms were squished toast and the other assassin guys had gone and Buffy had stopped being a drama queen over the whole Angel being kidnapped and nearly killed thing (who hadn't been kidnapped and nearly killed? It was no biggie) she was still trying to repress the memory of that kiss. She refused to think about it - nuhuh - not giving it any headspace … right up until she encountered Xander out in the hallway. Then she tried to run. Just seeing him was creating those same physiological reactions inside of her - the heartbeat, the tingling, the warmth flooding through her from her scalp to her toes - and she was fleeing from it. But he caught her and pulled her inside a classroom.
She tried to keep her distance, keep her barriers up - the trouble was her heart was hammering away and her palms were sweating and she … she just didn't feel this way around other boys. No other guy made her ... hot like this.
Now admittedly, her dating life had been a bit of a dud this new school year. She hadn't got anywhere with Angel - he seemed to only like joyless, mopey girls - and Devon had completely flaked out on her and stopped calling, once she'd slept with him. Not to mention the college boy who had tried to feed her to a giant snake … honestly, looking back on the past few months, she might as well have taken Daryl Epps up on the whole Bride of Frankenstein offer, because she wasn't exactly snowed under with other options.
And admittedly, she was sure most of the sweaty, churny, heart poundy feelings she had for Xander was actually just a side effect of him being the boy she kept finding herself in life and death situations with. It was like Pavlov's dogs or something. Her heart wasn't actually beating for Xander, but she saw Xander and her heart rate picked up. But only because she now associated him with danger and … you know… a little bit of sexiness.
But still - all other factors aside, the truth remained that Xander got her hot, literally - every inch of her skin was flushed. And now he was yelling and she was yelling, and her heart beat faster and faster and then … they were kissing. Again. And her lips tingled just the same, and the air felt just as electric and it had never been like this with another boy. For some - insane in the brain, lock her up in a padded cell and throw away the key - reason, Xander Harris made her feel … something. And that something was pretty damn sweet.