42Spoilers for Season 2 of the anime! This is a roleplay-based fic between me and Fangirlhappiness77 (so please check her out if you want!), and that also means this will be in 3rd person-omniscient. Hope it's not too confusing. We have some smut chapters written later on in the fic, thus the rating. Please follow if you'd like some heated Suzalulu, haha. There's a lot in store for this one.
White Knight AU 1
The stone rattled within the cool cavern of Kamine Island. Swift currents of slapping branches and the surging sea roared outside the entryway, but Lelouch took no notice. C.C. had brought down his pursuers with the Gawain, the ravaging storm prevented another unidentified Knightmare from following him, and Lelouch was on his way to rescue Nunnally.
No. Not "on his way". He was here, standing before the double doors of truth, a moment from saving his beloved sister.
Lelouch would save Nunnally, he would dawn the mask of Zero once again, and he would return to lead his Black Knights in the nick of time. Zero would not lose his position as a hero. And I won't lose Nunnally.
I'm not losing my chance to kill you, Zero! Suzaku flew the Lancelot towards the island, following after Zero. Suzaku would have his chance at revenge. His chance to save Japan. A storm isn't going to stop me.
Despite the strong winds battering his path, Suzaku held strong. Euphy. I will avenge your death. Suzaku's hands flew on the controls, skillfully landing the craft in an open spot beside the rocks. The Gawain's signal had disappeared from his radar long ago, but it not being here meant Zero was either on foot or drowned at sea.
But Suzaku refused to believe Zero was dead. With a flourish, the Lancelot's cockpit opened to the storm. A cave hid in the center of Kamine Island. Suzaku wasted no time finding it.
His gut knew Zero would be there.
Zero was waiting for him, back turned to the entrance of the cave. Suzaku's irritation spiked. Zero appeared not to notice him, arms outstretched.
"Zero. You deserted your men in battle. You're a coward. Yet you call yourself a leader?"
Ah. Lelouch paused at the door, his hand retreating to his hip. Suzaku. Of course he came. Suzaku was dependable and reckless like that.
Of course he would try to stand in Zero's way. But not Lelouch's. Or so he hoped.
Slowly, Zero turned, his helmet gleaming with the next flash of lightning.
"You would run too if you had someone you wanted to protect."
"You killed Princess Euphemia. You left your so-called comrades to die!" Suzaku stepped forward, pistol trained on the criminal. "What would you know about protecting others? All you do is preach hatred and violence!" Suzaku's pulse raced, but he wasn't scared. Zero was a strategist, first and foremost, and Suzaku was learning how to read him better after every battle.
Lelouch's fingers twitched. I don't have time for this. He didn't hold a candle to Suzaku's combat ability. Thus, Lelouch had come prepared with a faux bomb … Even so, he sensed if Suzaku did not calm down, not even that would stop him.
Not to mention Lelouch could no longer use Geass on Suzaku. Of all things, Lelouch had ordered Suzaku to live. It was a death-trap Zero walked into further every day. All because he cared about him.
"I am here to save Princess Nunnally vi Britannia!" Zero said. "She has been kidnapped! Your country and mine will have no meaning without her, so I beg you to lay down your weapon!"
Suzaku froze. Nunnally? His childhood friend, the sweet girl he'd recently seen safe and sound … was kidnapped? No … this is wrong. "Y-you kidnapped her, didn't you? You staged this." Suzaku's finger twitched on the trigger. "A-are you planning to kill her too?"
Zero should have shot first. His hand had already closed over the gun at his side, his other inching towards the bomb in his pocket. You fool, Zero thought. I'd rather die here than betray Nunnally.
But Lelouch wanted to trust Suzaku.
"Suzaku …" Lelouch said, a crack in his armor, a hint at the struggle within himself. The weakness was there, and then it was gone. "I have nothing to prove my word other than the sincerity of my intentions here. Kill me afterwards, if you so wish, but allow me to save her! She is our hope. Please, spare me this and spare your world."
A part of Suzaku wanted to believe Zero wasn't completely evil — he sounded so human at that moment. But for Euphy's and now Nunnally's sake, Suzaku couldn't. Not knowing what Zero had done.
"No. I'm sorry, Zero. I cannot allow you to lay a finger on anyone else," Suzaku said. "For the sake of the world, you will fall today!"
Now Suzaku was ready.
Ready to shoot him.
He killed you, Euphy … After this, the world will have peace.
"Then, you save her!" Lelouch shouted. Zero's mask hid his real tone and expression, but he could feel his facade breaking and slipping away. "Please, Suzaku … Please — everything — everything I've done has been for Nunnally!"
Suzaku glared through tears he didn't realize were welling up. "No … You're lying! You murdered Princess Euphemia, who did nothing wrong! And you'll do the same to Princess Nunnally!" Suzaku's finger tightened on the trigger. "How dare you harm everyone I love!"
Go ahead. Hurt me. Punish me. Kill me. Lelouch trembled, the billowing cloak around him shielding his nerves from Suzaku's gaze. Did Suzaku really think any of that had been easy?
Did he think Lelouch wanted any of this to happen?
It wasn't Lelouch that Suzaku saw, but Zero. A faceless man with muddied morals. And Lelouch knew how Suzaku was about morals.
This can't go on. Lelouch raised his hand holding the gun. But only so his other could move towards his mask. "You're forgetting someone."
Shoot me. Make me bleed. Zero would have taken the shot. Lelouch had another idea.
Quickly, Lelouch pushed the button on the inside of his helmet. With a buzz, it folded and released itself. His mask lifted away.
Suzaku watched, heart hammering. Rage, resentment, curiosity, dread. He couldn't shoot with his emotions clouding his mind, not without aiming to kill.
Although, he'd likely kill him either way. For Euphy. Or at the very least turn him in. He was a terrorist. Euphy's murderer.
But why? Why reveal your identity now? To me.
Suzaku sucked in a breath.
The helmet clattered to the ground. It echoed, a pop, the last straw breaking Zero's back. Lelouch, black bangs matted to his head, his piercing eyes a mismatched violet and red, did his best to stand tall.
The betrayal on Suzaku's face just about broke Lelouch to tears. Yet he refused to cry. He'd expected this reaction.
"Suzaku."
Disappointment seized Suzaku's body. Zero is … No … No. If he'd felt loss before, now every pinprick of hope had died. Suzaku's best friend was worse than dead. The tears spilled out, all of his fury and pain, yet confusion kept trying to bottle it up.
I don't want to believe this.
"Lelouch …"
"Yes," Lelouch replied softly. "I'm your murderer. I'm your villain. I'm the one you came to defeat. But most of all, I hope you can believe I'd never do anything to hurt Nunnally."
Suzaku nodded reluctantly, choking on his rage. Lelouch might not hurt Nunnally, but Zero would. The Lelouch he knew would never support such extreme measures of violence, the kinds of disasters Zero inflicted on the world.
But Suzaku couldn't shoot him.
Even after everything … Suzaku didn't want anyone else he loved to die. And he still loved Lelouch.
But Zero had to die. And Suzaku swore to kill him. "Lelouch vi Britannia, you're under arrest for treason and the murder of Euphemia li Britannia." Suzaku took another step.
Towards his best friend. A terrorist. A murderer.
Very well. But no, as Nunnally's brother — as someone who knew nothing but striving for revenge, Lelouch could not accept that. It was then he realized the bomb would no longer do him good. Not only did Suzaku intend to capture Lelouch, but Suzaku was prepared to die.
What is our friendship worth? Nothing, it seemed. Lelouch choked back a protest, his feet hitting the door behind him. There was nowhere to run.
"Suzaku, don't. If you do this, Nunnally will —"
"This is about you." Suzaku continued to approach, refusing to make eye contact with Lelouch. You aren't the same person anymore. I have nothing to mourn.
Darting forward, Suzaku hooked Lelouch's shoulders with one arm and spun him around, fingertips digging into Zero's coat. Gun still trained on him, Suzaku snatched Lelouch's wrists, yanked them behind his back, and dragged him to his feet.
"Stop — unhand me —!"
"I'm sorry," Suzaku murmured into Lelouch's ear. He tugged him closer. I can't leave this to you anymore.
He would use the opportunity to turn Zero in. Surrender my best friend to Britannia.
It was the best way to ensure Nunnally's safety.
Lelouch gave up struggling and walked out into the storm with him. The rain worsened, soaking their clothes in a matter of seconds. The sky rumbled as if the very gods were upset with them. What a sight we must be.
Lelouch found he was crying. There was a sharp pain where Suzaku was gripping him and an even sharper pain in his heart.
"I'm sorry," Suzaku repeated.
He's sorry … "Sorry" was a petty, useless word. Made in pity to accomplish nothing.
"You have no right to say sorry to me," Lelouch hissed.
"I'll … ask to have the knights search for Nunnally. She'll be safe."
"She's right here!" Lelouch shouted. "Your 'knights' aren't going to help! The system is broken! Britannia is corrupt! All they've done is hurt us! And you'd hand me over to them?"
The storm raged around them, drowning out Lelouch's voice. Suzaku had to strain to hear him.
"None of that changes the fact that you're Zero. Or what you've done," Suzaku said softly. I wish you weren't. We could have stayed friends … "You're a criminal now. It's not up to me anymore."
Suzaku shoved Lelouch into the Lancelot, allowing him to ride with him, albeit not before tying his wrists and ankles tightly.
"Don't try anything. Both of us could die if you do." Not that Suzaku cared about his own life. He'd rather die than do any of this. Please, kill me, Lelouch.
Only … "Live!" that damned order he couldn't escape.
With the storm, it would be hard for any pilot other than Suzaku to fly to the island. He hoped the skies would calm soon. His chest felt heavy, even more so with the weight of the water dripping from his suit.
Lelouch slumped against the wall of the cockpit, panting quietly with the strain of the stress crashing over him. The walk to the Lancelot had been more exhausting than any run — every inch away from Kamine Island was a lightyear away from where he yearned to be. He needed to be by Nunnally's side, to bring her to safety. Lelouch fought his binds for a moment more until he ran out of energy and sulked.
Lelouch's dripping hair and face could no longer boast of solely being wet with rain. He knew Suzaku could see him crying. I'm a fool.
He's crying. That came as no surprise to Suzaku. He ignored the water blurring his own vision, the reality of the moment sinking into his skin. Euphy …
Why would Zero kill her? Weren't Lelouch and Euphemia family? If anyone knew how hard it was to kill family and friends, it was Suzaku, struggling to live under the weight of murdering his own father.
Suzaku gripped the pin Princess Euphemia gave him as he took control of his Knightmare, trying to contact someone through the radio. Only it seemed the storm had interrupted communications. The speakers rumbled with static. Suzaku sighed and shut it off when he realized none of his messages would go through.
"Why did you kill her?" Suzaku asked at last.
Lelouch tasted the tang of blood, bitter and metallic in his mouth. It was a mistake. I can't control my Geass. He did not look at Suzaku, did not speak. That was a pathetic answer, one that would garner nothing but hatred from Suzaku.
Life happened to be unjust.
"Because I am an evil man," Lelouch answered at a whisper. Was that what Suzaku wanted to hear? "Because it was convenient for me."
Suzaku wasn't sure what he wanted to hear. Or what he wanted to believe.
He gritted his teeth to hold back the tears. Angrily, he focused on flying Lancelot through the storm, back towards the mainland.
Suzaku didn't know what to say or what to do … So he went silent and didn't ask Zero — Lelouch — any more questions.
"Your Majesty, I've brought the terrorist faction leader, Zero." Suzaku bowed, keeping his grip on Lelouch steady. His friend was limp beneath him, his matted hair warm under Suzaku's hand.
Why did it have to be you? Suzaku hid his grief. After all, he was in the presence of the emperor. Now wasn't the time.
Lelouch, who had been passive until that moment, suddenly began struggling again. No … he couldn't go back to his father like this. No, he could not be seen. I can't —
"Excellent," Charles said, standing from his throne. His broad shoulders sported a cape that dragged on the staircase as he approached. "To think Zero, the miscreant who was causing so much trouble, had been my own son."
No! Lelouch ripped his head out of Suzaku's grip for a brief moment. Lelouch's Geass might save him — if only he could —
Charles quickly turned his head. "Cover his left eye."
Suzaku knew Zero had the power of Geass. He did as asked, using his other arm to hold Lelouch down. With Zero's eye covered, it would be safe. No one else will be hurt.
"S-suzaku! Please! Don't! Don't!" Lelouch strained, but to no avail.
Charles came forward, a smirk on his face. "I would say I'm impressed. You were quite the enemy, Zero. But we will be enemies no longer. I won't have that of my son."
"Y-you're no father of mine!"
"Hold his other eye open."
What. Geass. Lelouch recognized it right away. The glint of red, the way his mind seized at their eye contact. Immediately, Lelouch tried to turn to Suzaku. "N-no! Suzaku —"
The way Lelouch kept saying his name … Suzaku wanted to listen to him. His grip on Lelouch weakened, pain stabbing at his chest.
Suzaku gazed at the Emperor, his mind racing. "Wait. With all due respect, Your Majesty, I'd like a reward for turning him in. I wish to be a Knight of the Round, assigned to Lelouch!"
And if his request wasn't granted, well, he could always … Let his grasp on him slip accidentally …
Charles barked in laughter. "Well, then! You will have what you wish!"
Lelouch wasn't sure what he was hearing, but he didn't like it. There was no way Charles would let him live as a prince or even as a prisoner. What his father had in mind must be more sinister. There was a greater chance Charles had kidnapped Nunnally to use as bait, then planned on keeping Lelouch as a Geass weapon or —
"You will watch over Lelouch," Charles said. His gaze flashed again, eyes glowing red and piercing into Lelouch's skull. "But Zero shall die today."
Suzaku found he rather liked his routine as a Knight of the Round. He still got to see Lloyd and pilot the Lancelot when needed. He got to go to school again. But most importantly, he was able to make sure Zero, the enemy of the empire, didn't return.
An endless punishment. An endless hope.
Suzaku had gone back to Ashford Academy with Lelouch. Suzaku was welcomed as always by the Student Council, spending time outside of classes with the group, keeping an eye on his friend …
Yes, after many long days of crying, screaming, and punching inanimate objects, Suzaku had made up his mind. If Zero was really gone, he could go back to being Lelouch's friend.
But Suzaku wasn't able to forgive him for killing Euphy, and it kept their relationship from being what it once was. A bit more distant. Tense on Suzaku's end, reminders of Zero nagging him, torturing him.
Like any other day, Suzaku took his seat in class next to Lelouch, waiting for the lecture to start.
Lelouch smiled when Suzaku sat down, nodding at him in greeting. Since Lelouch's memory was wiped, the blazing red of his left eye had faded back into his natural violet.
And his smiles felt a lot more genuine.
Suzaku smiled back but turned away after a moment. It was still hard not being able to forgive him, but also not being able to talk about it with anyone …
Suzaku sighed. Just don't worry about it. Forget. "Good morning," he said just as class was about to start.
"Good morning," Lelouch said. He leaned back in his chair, one hand playing with a pen on his desk. "How did the homework go? Were you able to solve that challenge problem?"
"Mm, not exactly. I guess they're called challenge problems for a reason." Suzaku shrugged with a chuckle, though he was pretty sure Lelouch was the better student between the two of them.
"I wasn't kidding when I said I'd help you if you ever want me to," Lelouch said. For as long as he could remember, Suzaku had been near him, living with him, supporting him as his closest friend. It was something about Suzaku's Knight of the Round contract that had them sharing the living complex at Ashford Academy.
Although they always were somewhat reserved around each other (and Suzaku was usually too independent to ask Lelouch for favors), Lelouch honestly admired Suzaku. As both a knight and a full-time student, Suzaku was quite the role model. I just wish we had more time together.
Suzaku being a knight meant that he was sometimes called off for royal business. He was always busy, always doing something. In the end, it was Sir Suzaku Kururugi, a man of power and status, and Lelouch Lamperouge, just some lucky, regular guy who somehow got put in the same house as him.
Lelouch smirked as the rest of their classmates shuffled in the door.
Suzaku nodded with a grateful smile. He believed him, especially with that kind grin and the look in his eyes. Lelouch would always be there to help if he ever needed it. It was a nice feeling, having someone there, and even now, the offer warmed his chest.
Even so, Suzaku would not be able to tell Lelouch why he'd left some nights to cry … The order to live haunted him especially on those nights.
Suzaku wanted to confide in Lelouch, have someone to talk to about everything. But he held it in, bottled it up. He distracted himself with his job and his school life instead.
Shirley waved, walking towards them cheerfully. "Hi, Lulu! Hi, Suzaku."
Lelouch waved back at her, a small chuckle leaving his lips. Shirley had a crush on him, and it showed. But Lelouch appreciated her as a friend, so he played it off as though he were any other oblivious male. "Did you finish the challenge problem?" he asked casually, mostly as a playful jab to Suzaku.
"Which challenge problem?" Shirley asked, blushing when Lelouch lifted a brow. "Well, I um … No, I don't understand the homework. Maybe we can, uh … s-study together?"
Suzaku held in a laugh. Shirley always had a soft spot for Lelouch. It was endearing to watch.
I wish Suzaku would say that. Lelouch put the pen down, leaning forward over the desk. "At this rate, we might as well invite the whole Student Council," he said. "Looks like Rivalz and Milly are about to try and throw the homework out entirely."
Milly and Rivalz were talking up front to their teacher. Rivalz was gesturing madly to the homework. Milly shook her head.
"But — but you actually expect us to apply our knowledge?" Rivalz choked dramatically. Milly tugged him away from the teacher's desk by the ears. "Ow! Ow!"
Shirley pouted, but her normal good mood was quick to return. "Well, at least we know everyone needs help!" she said. "We can all help each other."
Suzaku couldn't help but laugh at their usual antics; for a moment, it seemed everything was back to normal.
And then … "Ouch!" Suzaku cringed, feeling the familiar pain of Arthur biting his ankle. He smiled and picked up the cat. "Lelouch, we have a guest."
Lelouch barely suppressed his laugh, his eyebrows shooting up high. "Why is he here? Class is starting!"
"Moral support." Milly appeared over Suzaku's shoulder. Rivalz approached from the opposite side, putting some distance between them. His ear was red.
Suzaku felt better surrounded by his classmates and friends. "Moral support, indeed," he agreed. He let Arthur go, hoping he'd find his way out of the class without disrupting anything.
Arthur hissed, coming back for a second attack. Milly lunged for the cat, but Arthur dodged, darting towards Lelouch —
Lelouch caught him by the scruff before he could reach Suzaku. Arthur immediately pacified. "Get him under control. Please," Lelouch said with a sigh. He plopped Arthur down in Milly's waiting arms. "I'd like to get Suzaku home in one piece."
Milly winked at him, retreating with the others as the teacher ordered them to take their seats.
Another day. Another act. Another dream.
Suzaku took a deep breath just as Lelouch resumed tapping his pen.