42Mewsy: Another chapter is finally out. Hopefully I can get back into the swing of things more now, and thanks to everyone still reading this! I do want to note that we didn't tag it before, but this fic will be including side-ships or one-sided ships that the show also brought up as canon, so expect a small Villetta x Ohgi plot too. There are plenty of plans left for this fic so enjoy~ And thanks to Caroline_fangirl for staying to support my writing and read over for edits. Means a lot.
White Knight AU 16
"You expect me to settle for phone calls only, Lelouch?"
"My boyfriend just left for Pendragon, and you're already trying to get me to sneak away with you?" Lelouch responded, perched alone on the desk in his room. A grin ghosted his lips. "I know I'm popular with women, but I didn't agree to exchange numbers for that."
"Oh, so I'm a woman to you now?" C.C. said, the background echoing as if she were still in the Shinjuku warehouse, as she should be.
"You know I didn't mean that."
"I know, Mr. Warlock." Far too smug, but Lelouch didn't mind, really.
After his reunion with the Black Knights, Lelouch knew deep down how much he had truly missed her. Zero could pretend everyone was simply a pawn in his game and Geass the board to play on, but in the end, Lelouch was as human as any other. Even that witch knew emotion, no matter how much she attempted to keep her distance from it.
But my path has changed course, thanks to Suzaku. Their destination was the same, but now Lelouch didn't have to relinquish his hold on humanity. He had to trust in it, use it, rely on it to carry them through.
We can accomplish anything together, including this. Zero can be a person as well as a symbol.
An impossible goal, once, when emotions were just a weakness people forgot could be a strength. Happiness, hurt, love, hate. Easily manipulated, but painfully stubborn as well.
We don't have to live in hatred, when we have each other to forgive.
"Humanity…" Lelouch mused. "I think we ought not forget that even the most despicable monsters are capable of emotion."
"Even if they've lost the ability to feel, having fallen so far into the darkness?" C.C. countered softly.
"As long as they take the form of a human being, they'll soon discover what made us longer-lasting than any other species on the planet," Lelouch said. "Humans are both sickening and admirable. We hold our kin tightly, survive by any means, and care about the survival of others. Even if some of us lose sight of our humanity and attempt to squash those innate sentiments… No matter how far we run into prejudice's arms, it was the bonds we formed that lifted humanity, and it's those bonds that may one day bring us back up."
"Sounds like a lot of words. Can't you just kill those who don't fit into your perfect human world?" C.C. hummed. "It's easier. 'Die!' Like that. Didn't you find that so much more effective?"
"I recognize the tactical merits of such a method," Lelouch replied. Something about this settled strangely in his chest, making him wonder how Suzaku might have talked Lelouch out of those violent choices. Even… wishing Suzaku had stopped him, for all Lelouch didn't regret the path he started down. "However, although I have no doubt that there are people too far gone to be reached through reason and emotion alone, no intelligent being can survive without wanting something. And wanting stems from an emptiness seeking to be filled."
"Hmm. What do you think I want, then?"
"Pizza."
"Very clever."
"I'm not wrong, am I?" Lelouch swung his foot, tapping the leg of the table. From here, he could see the messy bedsheets where Suzaku had last told him goodbye, striped with the light through the blinds. Lelouch's treasured black king's chess pin glinted with it.
"You're dodging the question. Why won't you see me in person more often?"
"Although I'm not concerned with privacy… there are still people watching me, outside of regular rotation," Lelouch replied. "Namely, Villetta Nu is of most concern. And with Suzaku gone… I won't be surprised if Sayoko goes back to tailing me, as she's been conditioned to by the emperor's Geass."
"She shouldn't be so hard to shake off. Or are you worried about those other Knights of the Round at your school getting suspicious of your boyfriend?" C.C. said. "Maybe… our White Knight might really be jealous to see me with you again? He's practically left his residue all over you. When you two were talking up the Black Knights, well… I wasn't the only one thinking the same."
"Zero's changed," Lelouch said, unflinching. "He's not who he used to be, and we'll prove to the world very soon how that's for the better."
"Mmm, yes. As long as our agreement is still active, I suppose I can't complain."
"It is. And… this growing power," Lelouch continued, "it gives me the sense that something big is happening, very soon."
Lelouch dragged his fingers on the cold desk, for once hearing silence on the other end. He gazed at the pin Suzaku left him, feeling his chest tighten.
"I do need you, still," Lelouch admitted. "I need Suzaku. I need everyone willing to help me. But you, specifically… I can promise I have no intention of leaving our deal unfinished. I will see you again, as many times as it takes."
A pause, and her voice softened. "Good. So… let's say we find a way to get rid of Villetta —"
"Violence cannot be implemented."
"Let me finish."
Lelouch waited, his eyebrows raising the longer C.C. talked.
"If we find a way to get rid of Villetta's coldheartedness towards the Japanese, do you think you can start seeing me more often?"
"It'd be more manageable, sure," Lelouch replied. "But how do you propose we do that?"
"Let's just say a little lovebirdie told me a story I won't forget," C.C. cooed. "If you don't mind being in a risky position, there might be a way to make dreams come true."
"Inspiring, but I need specifics."
"Ohgi almost ran into Villetta the other day. But he's thinking about doing it again."
A spark of panic hit Lelouch's chest. He wouldn't —
"Love changes more than just the heart, doesn't it?"
Lelouch blinked. Set the phone down, breathed in, picked it back up. "I'm not sure what you're implying, but we can't risk any unnecessary complications so soon. Tell Ohgi to speak to me. I'll talk him out of any irrational behavior."
"A bit hypocritical, isn't it?" C.C. said. "Maybe you're just jealous I've been talking to Ohgi more than you lately? I really would take me up on this offer, if I were you."
"You seem certain this won't end poorly," Lelouch noted. "Why would he have any business going up to her of all people — unless… you're suggesting they have a history?"
"Innocent Chigusa and Baroness Villetta Nu are two sides of the same coin," C.C. said. "Ohgi thinks she was just scared of being true to herself when she shot him. He thinks there might still be a good person there, if there's any reason left to fight. Something about being inspired by our precious White Knight."
Vaguely, Lelouch recalled hearing how Ohgi was injured, back when he'd been watching over Ashford Academy. Even before that, Lelouch had noticed a woman walking with Ohgi that he didn't recognize. But everything started to add up. Chigusa? That wasn't a name Villetta would have chosen for herself, with her background as a Britannian noble. Then…
"She lost her memories too," Lelouch deduced. "The work of the emperor?"
"I wouldn't know," C.C. replied. "But wouldn't you like to find out?"
#
"Now or never…" Suzaku murmured, ascending the palace steps. Even though he'd left his White Knight costume behind with Lelouch in case the Lancelot was searched, Suzaku still felt like he was marching into enemy territory with a target drawn on his back.
Just focus on getting information about where the captives are. Suzaku adjusted his uniform and put on a serious face, passing the guards at the double doors. As long as I follow the plan, no one will get hurt. We'll set this right, together.
Inside, the main hall was pristine, polished so brightly that Suzaku could see his own reflection glaring back at him on every surface. But no matter how pretty, it didn't wipe away the dirty feeling left behind.
Lelouch's mother was killed up these steps. Suzaku paused, fingers running over the treasured pin in his pocket, remembering the last promise he made to Princess Euphemia. So many tragedies have happened here… And Britannia feels guilty for none of them.
Thankfully, there were no familiar faces here to greet Suzaku or question the look on his face. It was a straight shot from the main doors to the conference room.
"What luck," Second Prince Schneizel commented, standing with his head held high and level next to Bismarck, the Knight of One, whose titanic form dominated the conference table. Schneizel still managed to look big, even if it meant being the only one standing. "The Knight of Seven is early, for once."
"I don't always have to arrive in the nick of time, sir," Suzaku said, offering what he hoped was a good-natured grin despite his tone sounding forced. "Besides… there's been a lot to do in Area 11, as of late."
"As I've heard," Schneizel responded, sporting an amiable yet curious smile. "Well. Since you're this early, I suppose I could steal you to talk about Area 11's relations, given… the emperor already gave the go-to for talking about plans regarding current leadership. He was planning to announce it, anyway, so you can consider this a sneak-peek."
"I must be lucky," Suzaku said, doing his best to keep a straight face.
"Very," Bismarck chimed in a deep abyssal rumble, as if he'd not slept in a long time. His trademark single eye burned with some unreadable suspicion as he looked upon Suzaku, who was hovering behind the conference room seats.
Oh no — he can't know anything about this, can he? Suzaku wouldn't be able to keep this up if the Rounds started catching on. Though if the prince and the Knight of One are working together on something… I should probably find out about that too.
Something in Bismarck's expression appeared very amused all of a sudden.
"If you can get Prince Schneizel out of my hair, I don't mind you leaving for a short bit," Bismarck said with a wave. "Just be back before the others get here. The emperor wants us all to meet before noon today."
"Understood," Suzaku said. "I'll be back as quickly as I can."
"Such haste. My company can't be that much of a bore, is it?" Schneizel complained, beckoning Suzaku to the doors anyway.
"Not at all, Your Highness," Bismarck called back, cracking a real smile. "I just don't want to waste away in more meetings than I have to. I do my talking on the battlefield."
Schneizel paused, his blond hair shining as he glanced back at the man. "Is that an invitation?"
Bismarck barked with laughter. "The emperor might kill me if it was!"
Schneizel huffed as he opened the door. "I jest, I jest. I know I wouldn't stand a chance."
"I wouldn't even face him in battle…" Suzaku muttered, thinking back to how Bismarck singlehandedly wiped the floors of enemy troops when any regular fighter would retreat. Suzaku had been on his way to that, but he knew deep down he lacked the desire for bloodshed. It's what set him apart from the other Knights of the Round, aside from his heritage.
"Good thing we're all on the same side," Schneizel said just as quietly.
As Suzaku exited the room with the prince, the atmosphere shifted almost immediately. Instead of the stifling air of the conference room, here everything was stark and bright. Even Schneizel's footsteps sounded louder.
"You must be wondering what I think of you," Schneizel said, glancing at him. "Even with all the praise, you're still tense."
"Er… I suppose I am," Suzaku confessed. "I've never been great at talking, honestly. I'm not even sure what you'd want me to do, regarding… Area 11 relations? Is it another bodyguard job you need me for? I still have to look after Zero, per the emperor's orders…"
"Not so loud," Schneizel warned at a hush, pausing to let a few chattering nobles pass. "We may be in the capital, but there's still a lot that may reach the wrong ears too soon."
Right. As much as Suzaku hated staying silent, especially knowing Lelouch needed him, he couldn't risk ruining the original plan before things could change. Or else everything would crumble, and Suzaku could no longer help Zero turn to peace.
"Here, we should be fine," Schneizel said, stopping one room short of the glass pathway to the courtyard. "Take a seat, or stand, if you prefer. This shouldn't be long."
"I'll stand. Been cramped in the Lancelot for a while, anyway. Can't stretch much when you're stuck in a cockpit," Suzaku said. "It's still more comfortable than taking an airplane, though. Without the snacks."
"Or the sideways looks of disdain, I'm sure," Schneizel replied, also opting to stand facing Suzaku. The prince's eyes were violet, calming, almost, as if he understood.
"Yeah… that too." Some of Suzaku's nervousness trickled away, replaced by a hot tingle of anger. Even if Suzaku deserved to be hated when he wasn't making amends for his past, he couldn't stand seeing the evidence of discrimination.
Even someone as high-ranking and beloved as Suzaku still ended up being judged by people who only saw him as an Eleven. And the fact that being socially inferior to Britannians was even a thing made Suzaku grit his teeth.
"Even at a rank such as yours, people still can't look past the boundaries in their hearts," Schneizel continued. "It's why I don't think these problems can be solved with small-scale solutions and a battle won here and there. Zero had the right idea, but evidently… the people he fought to protect are just as fallible to their own vices."
"I don't think Zero had the right idea," Suzaku said, forgetting his tone. Although his anger towards Zero was gone, Suzaku still felt sick when he remembered the wake of Zero's legacy. "It's fine to fight for the weak. But… I don't think destroying the strong like he did makes it any safer. You can't purge all evil… at least not without figuring out how to work together. Choosing to hurt people won't help anybody."
"So you're suggesting you think Britannia is actually evil and corrupt," Schneizel said, brows raised high.
"N-no, that's not —"
"Not all of what you meant?" Schneizel finished. "In all honesty, if you meant it or not, I'd say you're correct. Quite a bit of this empire is ineffective at leadership, and they seem to have their sights set on the wrong things. They end up missing the big picture."
Who is he talking about? The emperor? Suzaku paused, that sickening darkness taking over his chest. Not Euphy… Prince Schneizel doesn't know what happened. He doesn't know what Geass did… and that it was an accident. Princess Euphemia will always be blamed for killing the Japanese at the Special Zone… and it just makes it that much harder for us to earn their trust back.
"I think a heroic soul like you would know the conflict of following someone going down the wrong path. Being unable to stop them," Schneizel said, appearing far too smug. "It's unfortunate…"
"Euphemia would have never hurt people on her own," Suzaku snapped, blanching when the prince's eyes widened. Uh oh…
"When did I mention my dear late sister?" Schneizel tipped his head. The gesture gave off a simple, calm interest rather than the triumph Suzaku expected. "Personally, I've never doubted Euphemia's sincerity in healthy compromise. She put in every effort to ensure everyone's side of the deal was met with consideration. I worried for a while that Zero's influence back then was… unusually strong to convince sweet Euphemia to do something so heinous. Don't you think so?"
He's testing me? I know Lelouch said to watch out, but… he's already catching onto too much. Suzaku was glad his gloves concealed the sweat collecting at his palms. "It's obvious something wasn't right," Suzaku responded, touching his pocket again. "I think Princess Euphemia would rather have given her life than play a role like that, even if she was forced to kill in order to save everyone. She told me to trust that she'd be okay with Zero, too. And then…"
"It was like something had taken over her."
Again, no trace of doubt, and Suzaku felt his stomach dropping. He didn't want to be talking about this. Not here, after everything. Lelouch needs me to save the prisoners. I have Prince Schneizel right here. I can't let this go to waste so soon!
"It's okay, Sir Suzaku Kururugi. If not anyone else, I believe you." Schneizel put his hand on Suzaku's shoulder, a heavy, warm weight. "I wanted to talk about that, anyway, over politics. You're the one I think would best understand that feeling of mine… since I haven't been able to talk to Princess Cornelia, once she…"
"I'm sorry. It's hard," Suzaku murmured. "Losing family like that…"
"Indeed," Schneizel said. "It's even more painful when you can tell they would have done so much good, had they just gotten the chance. That's why I can't afford to pass up opportunities to make this world a better place."
"Princess Nunnally —" Suzaku blurted, no longer wanting to hold back. "Is she still safe? Can I talk to her?"
"As I've told you, the emperor has been overseeing her recovery from trauma," Schneizel answered, hand still there as if to reassure him. "I'm sure if you ask him, he'll let you visit her. We all know she's been… very conflicted over finding out that her closest relative has been misleading her all these years."
"I understand what Zero was trying to do," Suzaku said quietly, wanting to shrug Schneizel off but also not finding it in himself. "But lies and deception and violence? Look at what's happened to everyone. Zero wasn't accomplishing anything but replacing hatred with hurt."
"We were all hurt," Schneizel agreed, finally pulling away, "but what mattered most was that we decided to carry on, to show everyone that we wouldn't let poor decisions wound the world's future. Zero can stay a hero to the public. Give them something to help them carry on, day by day, until they can see that selfsame hope in what we've become as a whole."
"But like you said," Suzaku added, "you don't believe in the current Britannia either."
"Life is about to change, Sir Kururugi. Britannia is just a stepping stone to the greater goal." Here, in his home territory, Prince Schneizel stood poised and ready. Almost like Lelouch, only Schneizel had a confidence oozing with expectation instead of determination.
Whatever Schneizel had planned, it was something Suzaku knew he had to find out about.
I can see why you're scared of him, Lelouch… If Suzaku didn't love and trust his boyfriend like he did, there was a good chance Suzaku might have been swayed by this. The thought of Britannia's second prince both understanding the need for change and suggesting to do so himself was too valuable an option. He's terrifying.
"But as much as Zero sported similar ideals, we know better than to glorify the symbol of a terrorist," Schneizel finished. "That's why we'll fight for a better future the right way. I'm sorry, too, that Lelouch ended up like he did… but now that he's at Ashford and being watched by you and the emperor's teams, it's the most merciful solution short of exile."
"Lelouch and Nunnally were already exiled," Suzaku countered, "but those were the most peaceful days we could remember. And even then, we suffered. He had a right to be angry, and Zero was his attempt to do what he could in a world like this. Just… I hate that he fought violence with violence. He was in the wrong too."
Still, no change in Schneizel's deep concern. "I'd say so. But beyond that, it isn't right that he was able to influence Euphemia so dramatically. She even went and relinquished her claim to the throne for that Special Zone. I find it hard enough to believe Zero could change her mind like that without some otherworldly power."
I'm surprised he even knows this much. Geass is a secret even to the others of the Round. But with Suzaku playing the role of Lelouch Lamperouge's sibling instead of trusting another placeholder… Suzaku hadn't done the best job of keeping quiet amongst the royal family. It was just too irritating to think they could get away with being so inhumane to their colonies, nonetheless banishing Lelouch and Nunnally after losing their mother.
No matter how many times Lelouch had to cover up his identity, each occasion made Suzaku wonder if an active Prince Lelouch could have been the chance to restore the kindness the world deserved. If Nunnally and Lelouch had never left Britannia… what would they have done for everyone?
Would Euphemia still be alive?
I was the one who showed Lelouch not to hate Elevens, but…
If I hadn't met any of them… maybe, would Schneizel have helped them stand tall instead?
"You don't seem surprised by my comments," Schneizel observed. "Or are you lost in thought?"
"Um… I was just thinking how it's a shame things have turned out like this, when the power Zero had might have done more good had he been peacefully working from inside."
"The power," Schneizel echoed. "Well… I do wonder about that. Since Lelouch conveniently lost his memories from the impact at Kamine Island… it's not feasible for me to ask about it without getting in the way of my dear father. And you wouldn't know either, would you?"
Suzaku felt panic rise again, unlike the anger that helped him ride this conversation so far. He just furrowed his brows, hoping he looked confused rather than scared. "I… don't know. A lot of things are happening that I'd never imagined were possible. Maybe it is. Maybe not," Suzaku answered. "Since his memories are gone, I can't exactly ask him either. Not without putting him in danger."
"You're a good person," Schneizel said. "I'm sure you even feel empathy for the Black Knights on death row, knowing they were fighting with hope in their hearts under Zero's influence. I wonder how many of them were… conscious of their actions during the Black Rebellion. It would be something to investigate, should another unlikely factor be in play."
That's a really good point. Suzaku didn't know how many people Lelouch had Geassed or for what, and if there were any others in the Black Knights who were forced to follow Zero…
A shadow, cold and fearful, churned in Suzaku's stomach. Please no. He had just gotten Lelouch to open up. Just gotten to forgiving him, even embracing Zero and attempting change.
Please, Lelouch. Don't hide anything else from me. Don't let these fears be true.
Princess Euphemia's sacrifice wouldn't be in vain — Suzaku swore he wouldn't let it be.
"As far as I remember, Kyoshiro Tohdoh led forces in Zero's stead when I was at Kamine Island with Lelouch," Suzaku explained. "I know he's been tortured for information… but hasn't given anything to Britannia."
"Maybe there's a reason he can't talk, aside from pride alone," Schneizel pondered. "I might be interested in exploring that with you, if you don't mind assisting me. As someone close to Zero… You may have the resources we're missing to solve this puzzle."
"I'm not abusing Lelouch's trust in me," Suzaku retorted, feeling himself wince. "I — I mean. Not more than I already am, watching him… Besides, he doesn't have his memories anyway. There's really no point for me to prod him either about something like that."
"But you believe it's possible," Schneizel hummed. "Just think about it. I would ask Nunnally what she might know, but… She's an innocent girl. Maybe you might be able to do a better job talking to her, anyway, if the emperor lets you."
"I — ah." Suzaku stopped as he noticed someone passing by.
In an instant, Schneizel's gentle demeanor stiffened. Those violet pools flickered to the hall before relaxing, Schneizel's welcoming smile back with a vengeance.
"Better hurry," Schneizel warned. "You'll be late to the table."
"Oh no. Can't have that." Suzaku laughed awkwardly, yet he felt a bit lighter with this exchange behind them. "See you later, then, sir."
"If you want to tell me goodbye afterwards, I won't stop you," Schneizel added. "Or if you want to say goodbye to anyone else in particular, I may be able to help if you can't manage it. I'm rather generous, I like to believe."
"Thank you," Suzaku replied, turning back the way they came. "I'll definitely let you know."
"Later."
That went well… I think. As Suzaku walked to the conference room, he checked his phone quickly, as he always did when he was away. But this time, his grip trembled despite the worst of it being over.
Lelouch's texts that usually made Suzaku smile still made him smile.
[Lelouch]: Love you. I just had some pizza and am about to play Sayoko in cards. Hope the trip is going well
"Oh…" Suzaku felt warmth tickle his cheeks, chasing some of the cold away. Pizza. That must mean he contacted C.C. again. Suzaku found he wasn't nearly as jealous as before, not now that he was Lelouch's White Knight. But even so, Suzaku felt like there was so much of Lelouch he still didn't get to see.
[Suzaku]: I got to talk to the prince.
He's cool, but he might have more work to give me soon. We're about to sit in a meeting so gtg
Will be home as quick as I can tho
[Lelouch]: Ok, we'll just have to talk when you have time. Take care of yourself. If they're too boring, try not to crash your Knightmare on the way back.
[Suzaku]: I'm not even sure I can sleep, after all this haha
[Lelouch]: I might have to help you then. I'll keep the bed warm.
Another burst of affection held the heat in Suzaku's heart. No matter what had happened in the past, now Lelouch was trying to become someone good, and he still wanted Suzaku to be a part of it. That was real. It had to be.
I'll just have to tell him about all this later. I'm sure it'll be okay. With a last lingering moment, Suzaku paused outside the doorway.
[Suzaku]: Miss you.
[Lelouch]: Miss you too.