yea... here's a another story for the God of Anime showing mortals from the animeverse their worlds series, this time Kato shows those from SAO their future with guest star Asobi as a semi-co-host! He will appear once in a blue moon! And maybe even revives some people too!
Welp let's get to it!
I don't known any anime/shows mentioned, just my character, Kato while Asobi is owned by Alphasix321!
Also this story is co-Wrote by me- Kato and Alphasix321- Asobi!
Chapter 1: The totally not a Kidnapping
The god of animation looked at the destroyed core of his realm, the piles of Ricks and Mortys working tirelessly to fix the power source...Well the Mortys were working and the Ricks were tireless as he barked orders to his many grandsons while sipping on their flasks.
"Sigh... gotta thank Asobi-san for recommending these guys to help me fix my realm..." he then had a thoughtful look, "and throwing me that birthday party with his guin- I mean guests... who am I kidding, his guinea pigs!" The God of Anime laughed chaotically as helooks to a nearby screen that shows a third showing room, which looks to be just a regular movie theater, but instead of a screen, there was a small crystal floating in the room.
"Guess it's time to kidna- I mean invite the next world of viewers...Oh who am I kidding it's a kidnapping!" Morals? Who needs 'em, he had 4th wall awareness! Turning to the screen next to him, showing an image of a young man comforting his lover at the loss of their AI daughter. The screen then shows multiple people in various places minding their own business, "good... everyone is ready... Link Start!"
Kazuto Kirigaya woke up to see that he was no longer in bed with Asuna, so he was quite understandably angry that said hot wife was nowhere to be found. He did notice that he was dressed in his real-world blue shirt and black jeans, within a movie theater that had a floating Record Crystal in the room. His first thoughts were that either he was dreaming or that this was some sort of event going on.
"Not quite, but I can understand why you'd think that, Kirigaya-kun." A new voice said from behind him, Kazuto's eyes widening before turning around, reaching behind him to grab his Elucidator but... only to realize once more that he was in what amounted to his pajamas.
"Don't bother, you're not in that death game anymore. Hm, even if you were it's not like you'd do much with those toothpicks you call weapons." The voice announced before revealing himself, a young man with brown hair, a green eye on the left and a blue eye on the right. He is dressed in a blood-red robe that produces a strange green flame.
The man smirks as the flames die down, his robes morphing into a simple green jacket and blue jeans, "it is an honor to meet you, Kazuto Kirigaya, alias Kirito, the Black Swordsman, Beater, the solo player, the Great Hero of Aincrad...quite the number of titles you've gained in such a short time, granted not all of them are positive. Or original." He added under his breath, thinking back on the original black swordsman...But that was a very different person from a VERY different universe.
"Who are you?" Kirito glared at the man, not trusting him.
"Me?" The man asked, laughing as he answered, "just a being who wishes to change the future for the better. To prevent further blood from being spilled."
Kazuto narrowed his eyes, after all, after the last few years of being hated and attacked, he had the right to be wary of the strange man, "Explain."
The man smirks, "I am a god, and I have the power to show people from the worlds I govern over their past and their possible futures, and you, Kazuto Kirigaya, I plan on showing you and a group of your allies what is to come, or what might happen if you did things differently, in the hope of it being enough to save more lives..."
The god then smiles kindly, in a way that reminded the young virtual swordsman of his grandfather wisdom and age refined like wine but contained in a bottle, a strict side, almost like a teacher who refuses to let the students have their way, "I won't force you or those I have brought here to watch what I have to show you, but I want you to decide whether or not you and your allies of the present and future watches what I have to show you all, for you are the most affected in this, Kirigaya-kun. Choose while I go get the others and someone who will be with us."
The anime deity opens a portal and enters in slowly, leaving the swordsman alone to his thoughts.
"...Well shit." What else was there to say? Usually, I was the type to take most things in stride, especially after I got trapped in a videogame where impossible nonsense happened on a daily basis. But this? Who could prepare for something like this?!
"Ok. Let's list the pros and cons of this." Finding some space to himself he was surprised when a clipboard and pen appeared out of nowhere. 'Need something? Just wish for it! Any small scale wishes shall be granted within reason.' Well that was a pro right then and there.
1… Possible foresight for escaping SAO
2… A mini-vacation from the death game
3… If this god was so powerful, maybe he could bring back Yui?
4… Free food?('yes food is included as a 'minor wish') Hell yes!
1… It could be a trap.('Don't you dare use that outdated meme') What are you the meme police? ('Yes') Damn.
2… Even if it wasn't a trap private information about myself could be shown.
Oh god what if he shows us our lives in full. Including…
After hours of constant internal debate and selfless sacrifice Kirito was ready to make a decision. But not before popping a few more spicy chips to prepare him for what was to come.
Meanwhile with the kidnapper and his soon-to-be partner in crime. Asobi POV
"Asobi-kun! Be a neighbor and hand me one of your portal guns, some tranquilizers, and a few of your 'Anime protagonists and how to train them' guidebooks please!" The semi-mad god Kato spoke as he appeared through a tear in space-time caused by one of his anime bullshit powers no doubt.
His audience was so used to this that they barely even reacted at this point. Though they did give Kato some weird looks over his fashion sense.
"*Sigh. Can you please not use the Majin method to get here? It takes forever to fix the holes, just use Kai Kai like everyone else. ("But this is much more fun!" Kato whined but was ignored.) And I gave you one of my portal guns last week! What happened to it this time?" This was a pretty common thing, and each excuse was as strange as the last when it came to Kato and his domain.
"Luffy ate it due to GT Goku daring him to..."
"Damn insatiable rubber boy and non-cannon Monkey boy. Fine, here, it's not like I don't have an infinite supply of them anyway. Just don't let any of the Morty's get their hands on it. They get power-hungry and cocky after experiencing that kind of freedom...Or they die." 9:10 ratio on that one, you can guess which was more likely.
"Right right. And about that handbook?" He waved nonchalantly, not really listening.
"What genre?" I asked, knowing this song and dance.
"Harem Isekai." Of course it was. Damn overly saturated markets. At least they come up with something halfway decent every season so their semi-worth keeping an eye on.
"Just remember not to anger the tsundere of the group. And if there's a loli then they will be lewded regardless of how you try to stop it, it is inevitable. The best course of action is to accept this and try and minimize it where possible." So basic shounen harem traits.
"Oh and if the protagonist is being an emo bitch about something just slap them in the face with their favorite food. Tends to work." With those words of wisdom and a dozen page long pamphlet he shooed away his fellow god in order to get back to his work. He could have fun later… Sigh, a workaholic god of entertainment, what did his life come to?
Back in the God of Animation's realm, 3rd POV
Suddenly without warning, multiple portals open up and spit out bodies, most of which landed on the black swordsman himself.
"Oof! That has to hurt! Hahahaha!" Kato laughed sadistically, nothing like watching a few schmucks falling over each other to make one laugh.
Kirito looks up to see he was staring at pink striped panties, some cleavage, and the Asuna which was attached to the previously mentioned godly objects, sitting all on top. Nearby Klein and Agil just watched, the red-headed traitor laughing his ass off while Agil just smirked with his very punchable face… 'Revenge shall be mine!'
Meanwhile the god of anime was working nearby on a special project, "I knew I should've taken a course in Alchemy during my trainee days before godhood… I would've had some spirits from that world then but NOOOOO I just had to take an extra course of ki(the three colors of Haki counts as ki too right?), chakra, Pokémon energy, and bullshit mutations"
"AHHH YOU PERVERT!" It seems like the girls woke up hehehe… Kato, the god of animation, looks over to see that Kazuto was being slapped, or worse, kicked in places no man should be kicked.
Kato smirks playfully, "cliche aside, do you girls really wanna kill the guy who would become the Savior of Aincrad?" That got them stopping real quick… but not before one of them gave the Beater a quick painful kick straight to the balls, causing the men in the room to cover themselves out of fear, and sympathy pains, and Kato to laugh like a madman... tho he was so it makes sense...
The animation god then looks over at Kirito and Asuna, "I'm gonna need some blood from the two of you, don't ask why though cause I can't complete this project without it… and Asobi here but I can kidnap him after I get your blood… Vine Whip!" Not letting them answer, two vines come out of the god's green jacket, each with a syringe meant for collecting blood, rushing over and stabbing the two in the neck before pulling away with a pint of blood from the two victims.
Kato ignores the two screaming mortals as he prepared to kidnap a fellow god, "now to get Asobi for his science power Heheh… portal open!"
A portal opens in front of the green and blue-clad god, "by the gods I love this method… Hehehe now Gum Gum!" Kato flings his now stretchy arm into the portal, freaking out some of his kidna- I mean guests… yeaaaa guests, Definitely not kidnapped mortals kidnapped by a near crazy, chaotic neutral deity...
In Asobi's realm
Asobi didn't see it coming… a portal opens up, an arm comes in and grabs the scientist god, wrapping around him before gripping his shirt.
"...Sonuva-" Asobi began to say before hearing the animation god's voice echo, making Asobi's guinea pigs watch as a meme is born.
Asobi groaned, "Well I guess this is just good old' karma at its finest." Was all he could say before the stretchy, thick appendage pulled him into the hole. "Don't touch my coffee while I'm gone!" He managed to yell out to his charges before being pulled away.
Why were kidnapping attempts on him so common anyway? He was just one of the trillions of Asobi clones!
Back in Kato's realm
"Dynamic Entry!" A screaming Asobi's foot met Klein and Agil's smug faces, pushing the two mortals and one god through the many seats, causing mass destruction of the room which was quickly fixed due to divine bullshit. How did he manage to hit two people with a single kick?... Fuck you that's why. Meanwhile Kirito just smirks at the two possibly dead men with one thought, 'it might not have been me, but that revenge is sweeter than Asuna's…'
"Whoops… I think you killed them dude." Kato sweat drops at his mistake before shouting, "Oi, Larry and Curly, yall still awake?" Well the groans told him they were still alive at least.
"Wait which ones which? And who's Moe?" Klein asked the obvious question but was promptly ignored, so long as he was alive nothing else mattered.
"Ok it's been a grand total of 2 minutes since I gave you everything you asked for. What went wrong?" Asobi asked, a little peeved at being yanked across time and space by a noodle arm. Understandable.
"I require a loli, here is my blood tribute!" Kato...Explained? While handing him a couple of vine tentacles filled with blood…
"Dude, if you wanted me to clone Yui all you needed to do was hand me a couple of cells worth of DNA. Cloning bodies and implanting consciousness into them is literally my most used skill." Asobi said while prepping a biomass synthesizer that he had in storage capsules. The world of Dragon Ball might have been technologically inconsistent but it had some convenient gadgets!
"Wait wait! You can revive Yui?! And give her a body?" Kirito questioned in rapid succession, wide-eyed at what was about to happen, so much so that he barely cared that the crazy animation god took more blood than was necessary.
"Yup, that's literally what I just said. I already have the DNA from you two to make an amalgam body. AKA your child. I assume that you want it to look like the Yui from SAO so that will be her body's template." Upon saying that the blood taken from the two was absorbed into the machine for its genetic information. Thus began the cloning process.
Hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, nitrogen. The most common elements in the universe, combined together in just the right way to create the building blocks of life. It was a thing of beauty, something that any scientist from a mundane world would kill to see...Too bad the common drudgery could only focus on the fact that it took the shape of a naked little girl.
"Cover her up! Do it now damn it!" Asobi shouts before mentally sighing, humans and their illogical social hangups. A dress similar to the one she wore in SAO quickly appeared around the growing body of Yui. Covering her modesty. 'It isn't even alive yet jeez.'
Speaking of which, the body was ready now. All that was left was the mind. And the soul but that came naturally with the mind. To do so Kato had conveniently obtained and copied a copy of Yui's Heart some time ago. Of course, it wasn't a physical crystal as it was in SAO, it was simply a flash drive. A multi-petabyte hard drive but still.
"There we go. She should be awake and aware in 30 minutes at most. Enjoy your new daughter. Oh and please try to keep her away from any obvious religious imagery, most deities aren't too kind to homunculi after all." The science loving god gave his quick warning before walking back to his own realm via his own portal. Hopefully Yui would last longer than the usual Einzbern, but then only time would tell.
"Thanks Asobi-kun!" Kato shouts after his fellow god with a smirk, "damn I forgot to thank him for the party… oh well, next time I kidnap him I'll have to remember…" and thus began the running gag of forgetting to say thank you for the party… but that's for a later chapter…
Kato then opens his inventory("so I stole this power from every SAO and other video game based anime, Sue me!" Kato screamed at the readers) and takes out a box filled with remotes, "alright! Everyone take a remote! The remote will let you pause, rewind and play the screen! It also serves as a way to get food by pressing the Dream Food Button. Just know that if you abuse the pause function I abuse you!" Saying the last line in a sing-song voice the mortals chose not to mention it.
Everyone but Kirito looked at the god in confusion, "oh yeah, you didn't get the memo, you are here to watch your lives on the big screen!" Or crystal projector in this case.
After everyone got a remote, Kato then looked at his watch, "alright, after the first episode, Yui should wake up so is everyone ready?"
Seeing the sea of nods, the god presses play, the room darkening as the Record Crystal breaks and becomes a giant floating screen.
To be continued…
Kato: So Asobi-chan, that's for being my co-writer on this!
Asobi: your welco- OI DONT CALL ME -CHAN! IM NOT A GIRL! CALL ME -KUN INSTEAD!
Kato: Ok Asobi-chan pfff
Asobi: I now have 69 different ways to kill you ya know, so Stop
Kato: jeez, I was only kidding!
Kirito: is this normal?
Both gods: eh maybe
Kato and Asobi: We hope you enjoyed the first chapter and enjoy what's to come!
Kato: Ja Ne!