My sister! my sweet sister! if a name
Dearer and purer were, it should be thine;
Mountains and seas divide us, but I claim
No tears, but tenderness to answer mine:
Go where I will, to me thou art the same –
A loved regret which I would not resign.
There yet are two things in my destiny, –
A world to roam through, and a home with thee.
(Epistle to Augusta – Lord Byron)
My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
"Peter, you're hurting me." Susan complained when her brother clumsily tightened her dress instead of loosening it.
"Love must suffer, dear sister" he answered frustrated with her dress. "Why do you even wear those?" he asked finally undoing the knots on her cleavage. He slipped his right hand inside the dress to feel her breasts and felt proud when she sighed against him. Her nipples showed how much she wanted him.
"It's tradition, I suppose." She answered low. Her hot breath on his neck made him even harder.
"I think we should abolish these dresses. I'm King. I can do it." He said removing the red, silky dress over her head.
"Are you sure it is clever to abolish these beautiful garments just so the High King can get laid?" Susan asked feeling the cold breeze on her body. They decided to meet discreetly near a river deep into the forest, a thin but luxurious sheet under them to protect their clothes from dirt. Their wedding would be happening in a week and they knew that the palace would be crazy with preparations and they'd probably not have time to see each other.
Peter stopped his motions to look at his sister. She had yet another dress, but this one was white and thin, used to protect her skin from the seam. He could see her through the fabric, the dark circles around her nipples were tantalizing him and he thought proudly that she was his. He looked at her eyes. "I wish you could wear this all the time." He said with the thin cotton between his fingers.
"I'm sure you would be fine with your sister exhibiting herself to court on her undergarments." Susan said with a sarcastic smile on her lips. Peter's face matched her smile and he slipped his fingers into her, as he watched her closing her eyes and moaning his name. He felt her wet and hot for him. "I wouldn't mind," he said. Susan's eyes opened again. She would say something, but he continued "as long as it's my name you shout when you come."
"Peter…" She said feeling her mouth dry "Stop". It was just a whisper, but he heard. Peter looked at her eyes, asking silently what was the matter. She didn't answer, but started to remove his pants. He was wearing his own complicated clothes, but she managed to peel his attires with grace. Peter felt his heart racing when she removed the last piece of clothing and grabbed his dick with experienced hands. He was kneeling on the sheet she had brought on her bag with water and food for after and he looked down at her as she kissed his bellybutton leaving a wet trail down to his pelvis. Susan kissed and sucked her brother's shaft with patient knowledge, she heard him sighing her nickname that sounded so alluring to her "Su…"
She stopped when she felt his hand on her face, pulling her up to meet his lips. They kissed leisurely, Peter felt such love for the woman on his arms. Susan stopped their kissing to remove the thin fabric still covering her body and Peter tossed it on top of the pile of clothes next to them. He didn't wait to suck the sensitive skin on her neck and felt himself almost on the edge when she moaned louder. He pulled her left breast on his mouth and caressed the right one with his fingers. Peter could feel Susan's scent, he adored her perfumed skin.
Susan shifted their position so she would be on top of him, determined to seek what she wanted, completion. She sat on his thighs, Peter didn't complain, choosing to rest his hands on her waist, waiting her to start moving her hips and bring both of them to the edge. She moved vigorously, knowing they were already too worked up to go slow. She came first and barely acknowledged when Peter grabbed her hips and plunged up three or four times before finishing too.
Susan moved from Peter's lap and lay next to him. Their hearts beating fast and this was probably her favorite moment when they made love. Peter would always have that lazy smile on his face and for a moment it seemed that they only had each other to worry about, not a whole realm.
Her long, bare legs were between his and she rested her head on his chest. His left hand was caressing her black hair, loving the silky feeling on his fingers. "What do you think of me growing a beard?" he asked suddenly.
She looked up at him with a strange expression "Why?" she asked without answering his question.
"Was thinking about it…" he answered.
"I think you would look rather dashing, my King." She answered playfully looking at him. He smiled and looked at the sky. They would have a summer wedding of course. They had sent invitations to their friends and allies and they were starting to arrive. Decorators were already at the palace and they hired men to hunt for fresh meat to serve on the party. Peter felt a little overwhelmed with that many people on his home, so Susan prepared this little moment to enjoy each other's bodies.
Susan has already seen her wedding dress. She loved what they'd done with the fabric she picked up and couldn't wait to show it to her brother. Lucy was proudly handling everything, which made her even more grateful for having the family she had.
She traced her fingers on his battle wounds that she knew by heart where he had gotten them. Susan cried for each of them. She was now 23 years old, but her stance and her knowing eyes made her look older. To her, Peter looked like a king, ageless. He had this commanding tone, but his eyes were kind and honest. He would always stand tall, even when the weight of his crown seemed too much to handle. She couldn't marry a more honorable man.
They stayed like this until the sun started to hide behind the mountains. Peter knew that they couldn't walk all the way to the castle at night, it could be dangerous, so he sighed into her neck and prepared to leave. He helped Susan with her dress, tying up her back and straightening her hair. His clothes were easier and his hair was short, so it was fast.
Susan bent to fold the sheet they were laying on and put it in her bag. Everything was done with a companionship silence. They have been having sex since they were sixteen and seventeen, so they had time to adjust their relationship. They were married in all but paper. Peter hadn't spent a night in his chambers in at least 4 years, since he decided that sleeping alone wouldn't do anymore, so he moved all his things to Susan's room and she welcomed him with a smile and a glass of wine.
When they were back, Susan heard Lucy whispering harshly something to Edmund. She looked at Peter and he shook his head "I don't want to know" and he left to their room. Susan sighed, put a hand on her hips and looked at her younger siblings. They were always fighting these days, and she could tell that Edmund was upset that she trusted Lucy to take care of her wedding and not him.
"What is it this time?" Susan asked, getting their attention.
They looked at each other and Lucy hid something behind her back. Susan really wanted to care, but she was tired and her legs were sore. "Just tell me, Lu."
"It's nothing for you, Su. I'll talk to Peter about it tomorrow." Edmund answered, took what seemed to be a letter from Lucy's hand and left. Susan just rolled her eyes and climbed the stairs to her room.
She found Peter with only his trousers, preparing a bath. He had poured a glass of scotch for himself and she felt the alcohol filling her nostrils. One thing everybody knew about High King Peter was that he adored his crown, his sister and his scotch, the order changed every day, but mostly his sister came first.
"Help me with these knots?" Susan asked trying to remove her dress again. There was a reason she had someone to help her dressing and she wondered if her brother was right on abolishing those difficult attires. "Sure." She heard him saying before he turned her around and smoothly untying the knots he had made himself earlier.
"The bath is not warm, but it's so hot today. I think it will do." Peter said to her watching her remove her dress and walk around with that thin piece of cotton that enticed him. She opened the door to her closet to choose another complicated dress to wear for dinner. This one was purple and silver, but she comforted Peter saying that Ada would help her with it.
When dinner was ready, Peter sat on his usual seat and waited the food. He eyed Edmund, who looked a little worried and then Lucy, who couldn't hide a single sentiment from her face to save her life. "What is it, Lucy and Edmund?"
The siblings looked at each other and Edmund got up, which made Peter look irritated and he was ready to follow his brother, but he arrived with the letter he had taken from Lucy earlier. "Apparently, some of our allies are not coming next week." Edmund told Peter. "They wrote that we are still friends, but they do not approve of your wedding…"
Susan looked at Peter, surprised. He didn't look at her, but his eyes were burning. "What? Let me see this." He took the letter from Edmund's hand and read it quickly. His lips were tight and Susan searched for his hand. He took his eyes off the letter for a moment when he felt her squeezing his fingers and looked at her. He seemed to calm a bit down.
When he finished reading, he handed the paper to his sister. "How are they so confident in sending us this letter? Simpler acts triggered wars." He asked Edmund.
"They know we can't match them in battle if they decide to ally themselves against us." Edmund answered evenly. "I'm sorry, brother, but I think we should ignore the letter. I won't even reply."
The food arrived and they waited until the servants were gone to continue the conversation. None of them had the appetite to eat.
"Peter, you should listen to Edmund. It's just smarter." Susan told Peter, looking at his eyes.
"Su, are you not offended?" He asked her.
"I am. Of course I am, but I'm not sending my people to die over it." She told him harshly. He took his eyes off her and got up his seat, ready to pour a glass of scotch for him and her. She accepted the glass and held his eyes with her own. "Peter…"
"We ignore, then…" he said sitting down.
Later, at their balcony, Peter enjoyed a cigar, a present from the same ally who wouldn't come to his wedding. Susan sat next to him drinking a glass of wine, her legs were bare on his lap. He caressed her skin and feet with adoration, but he wasn't in the mood for bed.
"You know what's worse, love?" Susan lazily turned to look at him. "It's not because we're siblings. They're using it as an excuse." Peter said after a drag on the cigar.
Susan looked at the stars. She didn't want to think about it, she knew her love for Peter scared people off, especially humans. Their people would never be scandalized by love. They were Aslan's creation. Love was never wicked.
"They are sore, because I'm not marrying you off nor accepting a bride myself. They think we do this to avoid war commitments." he continued. Susan wasn't listening anymore. Her wine had kicked in and she felt her body relaxing. Peter's hand on her legs, feet and thighs was getting her in the mood, but she knew Peter would want to sulk a little more. She leaned to kiss his mouth. He tasted of smoke, alcohol and frustration. His free hand on her nape was warm and protective, she loved him.
"I'm going to bed, Peter. I really am tired." Susan told him already getting up. "Don't forget to close the drapes when you come to bed. I love you." He looked at her and nodded. He turned to face his kingdom and thought that he really didn't have any reason to be angry. He had everything he wanted.
The wedding day was busy. Susan was separated from Peter early, Lucy knocked on her door before asking if they were decent and dragged her down to her bride room to do her hair, makeup and finally wear that dress she wanted to show Peter.
Her brother was not as busy, but apparently he needed to learn a number of diplomatic moves to woo international leaders. He didn't want to make this day political, but Edmund was right, it was the perfect opportunity.
Susan was beautiful on her dress and Peter was as dashing as ever. They made their promises and exchanged rings. They moved to a different venue and Peter announced the beginning of the feast. Their guests sat on their reserved tables and enjoyed the evening, but somehow they didn't see the newlyweds anymore. Edmund wanted to punch Peter for letting the opportunity pass, but Lucy calmed him. "It's their wedding day, Ed. Let them enjoy it." He looked at her and asked "What do you know of wedding day enjoyments, sister?" But she never answered, only rolled her eyes and left to talk to a guest.
The following years should have been the best of their lives. Peter managed to keep peace with the other kingdoms, Narnia was prospering, Edmund was now keen to bring visitors to his room and Peter secretly wished he would just get married, and Lucy was still an angel, even in her teenage years.
The High King could not ask for anything else. Except an heir.
When Susan had lost her virginity to him, he sent her to see a healer and care for her intimate health. She would take a mixture of seeds and herbs that prevent them from conceiving. She had stopped taking them when they got married, three years ago.
Four months into their marriage she had gotten pregnant, but one night she woke up with a puddle of blood on their sheets. They had called a midwife to take care of Susan while they tried, but they lost 3 children already, still early on. Susan was devastated and Peter didn't know what to do to make her happy.
She would weep on the corners of the palace and he felt powerless. Edmund would go on and on about legacy, but he couldn't care less about the future, he only wanted to give Susan everything.
"My love, why are you crying?" he asked her one morning. She answered that she had missed a moon. He sighed, but he was hopeful. He held her on his arms, and kissed her tears away. He was ready to give up an heir to stop her suffering. Edmund would eventually find a girl he likes enough to marry.
But hearing that they had another chance had him wishing for a baby that would look like him and his adored Susan. He called a new healer from afar. He was from one of those kingdoms that refused to come for his wedding, but Peter never even thought about that. He was recommended by Lucy, who was busying herself with research on childbirth to help her siblings.
But before the man arrived, Susan had already lost another child. She cried harder than the other times, and Peter accompanied her into her sorrow. His face was red from the crying and her fingers tried to dry his eyes. Susan almost forgot that Peter was feeling the same way she did, he would go to lengths to make her happy and she faked a smile or two for him, but it never occurred to her that he was faking it too. Susan felt that the following days he was back to being her partner.
They were a mess. They lay on their bed only on their underwear, she was on his chest and he busied himself with her silky hair. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Peter." She said to him. "It's not your fault, Su." He replied. "We can be happy without a child. I only need you, Peter, nothing else." She said looking at him. He replied with a kiss. She let his tongue enter and sighed before taking the rest of her clothes off.
The new healer was finally in Narnia by the afternoon. He looked at both monarchs and heard their story. He didn't think much before saying that it was best if they gave up. It could be dangerous to Susan if she carried the pregnancy too long before losing the baby.
"May I be honest with you, Your Highness?" He said looking at Peter. "Of course."
"This is certainly happening because you are bedding your sister. If you really love her, you should stop before you kill her." Peter heard what the man said as if he was drunk. He never registered when he stood up and punched the healer's face repeatedly. He only stopped when Susan came between him and the man, hugging Peter. "Peter, stop, you're going to kill him!" she yelled. His fist had blood on it and he breathed heavily.
The man was removed from their chambers and they never really heard what became of him.
Susan was back taking her herbs. They would walk together over their realm to get to know their people, their trips felt like a honeymoon all over again and the King would often request that their bodyguards vanished so he could take his wife to himself without an audience. They were healing.
One day, Susan was taken by surprise. She would always count the days of the month so she would be prepared for her moon. But it didn't come. Her heart raced thinking she could be pregnant, but never told Peter. She counted another month and her blood didn't come once again. Two months.
She left Peter naked and smelling of scotch one night to look for Lucy. She confided on her sister, who looked as happy as ever. "I knew you shouldn't give up having children, Su. Let us trust Aslan."
Susan counted another month. No bleeding. Three months.
As the days progressed, Lucy was taking care of her sister closely. She basically removed Susan from Peter's room completely. He complained and couldn't understand the reason, thinking he must have done something to offend his wife. When he finally had access to Susan without Lucy around, he asked what on earth he had done to explain this separation. He said that whatever he had done he was sorry and a hand navigated on her thighs, trying to feel her warmth, but Susan removed his hand from her and said that she would explain everything in due time. She told him that he was the best husband she could ask for and kissed him goodbye, closing the door on his face.
Four months, she counted. She's never had a child in her for so long, but she couldn't let herself hope. She was so scared to suffer again.
In the fifth month, Peter had enough. Why would his siblings hide his wife from him? He barged into Lucy's room and saw Susan lying on the bed next to Lucy. He saw clearly how protuberant Susan's belly was and almost fainted.
"What is this, Su?" He asked kneeling near the bed, next to his wife. Susan looked at him and caressed his hair. "A baby, maybe." She answered tentatively.
"Why did you hide from me, my love?" He asked with tears. She used her hands to remove the tears from his eyes and answered "I was protecting you."
"I should be the one protecting you, Su. Come back to our room, I miss you so much." He asked with a kiss on her shoulder.
"I can't go, Peter. Lucy is helping me keep the baby. You'll have to wait a few more months, love." She said lifting his face to her.
"Brother, she's doing well here. You don't need to worry. She'll come back to you with a baby on her arms. Just wait a bit more." Lucy said looking at Peter. He stood up and took his youngest sister into his arms. "Thank you, Lu." He said against her hair. "Have faith, Peter." She removed herself from his hold. "I'm awfully thirsty. I'll go to the kitchen and I'll be right back." Lucy said with a wink.
Peter sat on the bed where his sister was. He raised his hand to touch Susan's belly with emotion. His hand had always felt powerful and sure against her body, but now he was almost afraid to touch her. His fingers traced her bellybutton and he felt compelled to bend and touch her stomach with his lips. He was going to have a child. Maybe.
Susan pulled her husband into a kiss. She missed him just as much, but couldn't risk another baby. Being surrounded by Lucy's care was working and Peter understood.
In the following days, Peter would always go to Lucy's bedchambers to read a story to his child. Someone had told him that children listened even inside their mothers and he wanted his son or daughter to recognize him. Susan found it was endearing and Lucy melted watching her siblings' romance.
Months followed and Susan's womb would only grow bigger. They called a midwife and they felt ready for the baby. Susan spent her days knitting, her baby would be a winter child. Peter had read all children's book on his library, which reminded him that he should buy more books to entertain his son or daughter.
They talked about names and landed in Princess Sophia if it was girl and Prince George if it was a boy.
A few days later, in the middle of the night, Susan woke up with a searing pain inside of her. She panicked and woke Lucy up. "It's time, sister" Lucy said. The midwife was already on the room telling her to push harder when Susan turned to Lucy and said simply "Peter, Lu." And she understood. They sent someone to wake him up and soon he was beside her, holding her hand. He whispered words of encouragement and Susan closed her eyes, feeling a fainting resemblance of when Peter was inside of her, only it hurt. A lot.
She pushed as hard as she could and with a scream, they heard a baby cry. She never heard a more delightful sound. She fussed, wanting to see the baby and Peter held it to her. It was a boy. Prince George, the brave.
The following days were nothing less than perfect to Peter. He felt something bigger than himself inside of him. He never knew this kind of love before. He saw his own eyes on his baby, which was also Susan's. They would spend hours just looking at the little piece of themselves in the crib.
When Prince George, the brave, was baptized, Susan thought she saw Aslan's mane reflecting through the sun. Lucy was sure.
To Susan, Peter looked more magnificent than ever in the following days. Her midwife advised her to avoid the marital bed for forty days after the baby was born and to remain taking her herbs when the time came.
She observed how a smile fit well on his features and when she told him what the midwife said he let a frustrated sigh. But the smile remained. "Just a few days now, Peter. You will not regret waiting, I swear." She told him.
Exactly forty days after George was born, Susan took care of the hair on her legs, armpits and groin. She bathed with floral waters and cleaned her hair. Everything with baby George watching her. She wondered how her life without her son was, she couldn't remember. He felt like such a big part of her life now. And she's only known him for a few days.
"Tonight your father will be very happy, Georgie." She smiled to herself feeling the water become colder.
She left her bath and called Ada to help her with a dress for supper. She looked herself on mirror and she thought that sometimes she felt magnificent too, and this was one of those days. Peter opened their door when she was just changing George into warmer clothing, sensing a cold night ahead of them.
"Hello, wife." Peter said and he approached Susan from behind, sliding his hands into her waist and landing on her belly. He kissed her exposed shoulders and felt the smell he missed so much. "Peter, your son's watching."
"Good, he can learn a few things on pleasure by watching us." He said trying to unknot her dress. Susan couldn't believe she was saying that, but "Peter, we have to dine first. George has to eat." He removed his hands from her, knowing she was right.
At the table, Lucy was happily telling them she had found a way into a lake that she could swear she had never seen. They would have to go there someday. Sure, Peter was interested in knowing Narnia more, but he couldn't keep his eyes away from Susan when she was breastfeeding his son.
A glass of scotch was his companion as he sat with his family after dinner. Edmund told him something about doubling the size of their army if he apologized to the man who asked Lucy's hand. Peter flicked his eyes to his brother and said "Lucy's going to marry when she wants to, no sooner."
"I agree with you, brother, but you have to apologize for the letter you wrote." He observed how George began rejecting his mother's milk and responded quickly to Edmund "Right. I'll do it tomorrow."
Susan respectfully hid her breasts and started to pat their son's back. Peter's eyes were ablaze and the whole room noticed. He couldn't stop staring at Susan, so Edmund gave up on trying talking to Peter, retiring to his chambers. Lucy stayed a little more, never getting tired of watching this romance unfolding in front of her.
When George finally burped, Susan called Theodosia to put her baby on his crib for the night. He usually slept the night through, waking up only by 5am to eat. She stood up carefully handing her prince to his nursemaid. "We're going to retire for the night, Lucy. Thank you for the delightful conversation." And Lucy nodded knowing Susan hadn't paid attention to any of what she was saying. Susan extended her hand to Peter and he quickly finished his glass. He held her fingers as if she was saving him from a cliff.
"Night, Lu." He was surprised to remember Lucy was there.
Even before they got to their room, Peter pinned Susan, her cheek touching the wooden door of their bedroom. His breathing was rough and he started to suck on Susan's neck from behind. His hand tried to feel her breasts through the fabric of her dress and she moaned feeling him hard behind her. "Let's get inside." She said freeing herself from his hold.
Peter opened the door and turned to Susan, so he could remove her dress. He thanked Susan for choosing an easy one to undone. He removed all her clothes quickly and pushed her to their bed.
"Su, will you forgive me if I'm not a gentleman tonight?" He whispered. She looked at his eyes and the light in them could lit the whole room. "Just make me scream your name, Peter." And he promised he would.
Life was good those years. More than good, it was perfect. Peter watched his son growing up and tried not to miss his firsts. He was present when he walked for the first time, but he missed when George spoke a muffled "mommy". He taught him how to handle a sword when he turned 5, it was a wooden one, of course. Peter took George everywhere as soon as he learned how to walk by himself. He wanted to show him their realm and show him how to defend it.
When George turned 10, Peter talked to his son's calligraphy teacher that he would have to be excused. They rode across the land and Peter showed him the grounds of his first battle in Narnia. He told his son everything he remembered from his previous life and taught him to never trust the white witch or someone like her.
They arrived for supper and Susan prepared a small party for her son. Peter smiled and kissed Susan as if he missed her. Prince George turned at his aunt and they shared a look. Definitely, Lucy found in George a companion to root for her siblings' love.
Four months later, Edmund prepared an outing for the whole family. He told them he had something to say and he preferred doing it outside. So they all grabbed their horses and rapidly approached the forest. George stayed home catching up with his history and geography homework.
Edmund was all secretive and out of nowhere he bet who would get the stag first. Susan knew he was just stalling.
When he stopped, Peter turned his horse and his sisters followed. They mocked Edmund, and he accepted with good humor, but Peter was captivated by something else. A lamppost. It seemed familiar, but he couldn't remember from where. His other siblings seemed to feel the same.
"As if from a dream."
"Or a dream of a dream."
To be continued