No, I am not dead. And no, I have not left the fandom. Stop asking.


Day 1: In Which She Finds Out That Her New Neighbor Is A Bit Of An Exhibitionist

Elsa kept hovering over her collection of potted plants like a stern mother would probably inspect her children before school. Her crocus particularly concerned her—its leaves were showing unnatural blackspots, and Elsa wasn't sure what she could do to help her poor baby.

Caressing one of its leaves, she whispered, "Come on, little guy. Hang in there."

She kneeled down to look for her scissors, and her heart almost leaped out of her chest as the neighbor's balcony door screeched open.

"What do you mean you're postponing the wedding?" a male voice shouted, and Elsa instinctively lowered herself against the railing. "Hold on, I'm putting you on speaker."

She heard fumbling, and porcelain clanking, and she wondered if she could just sneak back inside her living room without being noticed.

"Okay. Explain to me again why you're breaking off your engagement, Hiccup."

"I'm not breaking it off, idiot," a muffled voice added. "Haven't you checked the news? The whole world is going on lockdown."

Her neighbor huffed. "Yes, I've checked the news, you condescending dick. What about your bachelor party?"

"Is that what you're worried about?"

"What else would I worry about? Hey, you know what we could do? Start a video call and click on one of those 'lonely Russian girls' ads together." The guy laughed with so much satisfaction that even Elsa, the sorry girl trying to blend in with her subpar hideout, felt it.

"Yeah… Let's not."

Elsa peeked over the railing and nearly fell back in astonishment. Dear Lord, the man was naked! Wasn't he cold? It was the middle of March! Why on Earth was he taking a phonecall on his balcony while completely naked? ?

She felt her cheeks burning up, and she prayed the floor would swallow her before the man noticed her there. Her blood rushed, and her palms sweated, and she was so overwhelmed that she didn't even notice the gardening scissors slipping through her fingers—not until it clanked deafeningly against the floor, that was.

Unsurprisingly, the noise caught her neighbor's attention, and Elsa had to pinch her thigh to ground herself.

"What was that?" the voice on the phone asked.

The man looked at her with an arched eyebrow, and she kept her eyes on his not to look… anywhere else.

"My neighbor," he explained. "She's gardening."

"Is she cute?"

"Okay, goodbye, Hiccup!"

"But—"

Her neighbor quickly ended the call, and the sudden silence made her immensely aware of the awkward first-encounter they were being hostages of—awkward for her, at least. If his smirk was of any indication, he seemed to be rather amused with the situation.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop on you…" She dusted off her skirt as she stood up.

He shrugged and shoved a spoonful of cereal in his mouth. "That's okay," he said between chews. "I was being loud. Not your fault."

"Right…" Elsa tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I'm Elsa, by the way. It's a pleasure to meet you."

He put the spoon back inside the bowl and gave her a greeting nod. "Jack. And the pleasure is all mine."

Elsa's mouth felt too dry to form words, and she debated internally which would be ruder: Rushing back to the safety of her four walls without another word, or continuing a disastrous conversation with an unclothed stranger?

"So… this quarantine, huh?" Without her noticing, he had moved to lean his arms against the railing. His bare skin touched the cold steel, and she was sure there was something wrong with him.

She bit her lower lip. "I know. Feels unreal."

"Tell me about it," he snorted, rolling his shoulders back, and in all honesty, she shouldn't be blamed for her wandering eyes—It was an accident! He moved, so her brain just followed the movement! Everything happened purely on instinct.

She almost started laughing when she finally took a look at him... Jack wasn't naked at all! Black boxers covered his... modesty, and she had never been so glad to see a pair of underwear in her entire life. She could not thank whoever had invented boxers enough. Praise modern-day undergarments! Huzzah!

Elsa nearly choked when her practical side caught up with her rambling thoughts. Oh, perfect, Elsa, she chastised herself inside her head. First day of self-isolation, and she was already all happy to see a man in his underwear.

What a great start.


Is Jack flashing her for real at some point? Yes.

I don't really wanna overthink this. An update will happen when an update happens. And we'll keep this short and sweet, because real life is already too upsetting and I need the outlet. Stay safe, guys. We'll get through this together.