As he stepped away from Jessica Day and onto the plane he instantly began mentally hitting his head over again on an imaginary wall, the same way he's been doing it since the wedding. He did it every time he had the opportunity to leave Reagan and tell Jess how he felt. This morning alone he's done it 3 times and he's only been awake for a total of 1 hour 52 minutes and 17 seconds. The first when he woke up with her in his arms, still asleep soundly, as he watched her sleep for what felt like an eternity (in reality was probably about 9 minutes) he knew he should've just woken her up and told her. Told her that despite the fact that he acted as though he had moved on, he actually hadn't ever stopped loving her. Not ever for a second. Not when she was with Ryan or Sam, hell when she was with him it only made him want her more. He didn't know what it was about the guy but for some reason whenever he was with her he just couldn't contain his feelings, and especially not when he's with Reagan. He wanted to tell her that he loved how she sang everything, loved how she cared for people, cared for him even though sometimes he didn't deserve it. He loved the way her huge blue eyes sparkled in the sun. But he couldn't... Because he was a bloody coward who couldn't risk losing her. The second being after she woke up and he tucked her hair behind her ear if he had just leant forward and kissed her like he wanted to maybe he wouldn't be leaving, and the third being now, having actually told her, but in a way that she thought meant friendship, but in reality, means that he loved her in a way he can't even explain. "If everyone could turn their attention to the front of the plane while we get ready for take-off and close the doors." He looked behind him at the closing doors. 4. He could've just left the plane before the doors closed. Maybe then everything would have been easier.

...

...

As she watched him walk away she could feel the pain begin to burn inside of her, felt the tears sting her eyes as she tried to hold them back. As she walked over to the window to watch the plane depart she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. The hand of a middle-aged woman, a hand of comfort. "He'll be back dear, in no time" tears instantly left Jess' eyes as the woman began to hold her close "I know its hard saying goodbye to a loved one, I just said goodbye to my son, but your boyfriend will be back before you have a chance to really miss him" she claimed and walked away. "He's not my..." and with that, she was gone. Jess watched the plane take off this time without crying, she knew she needed to be stronger and besides, Nick was just her friend. Wasn't he?

As she trudged away from the window towards the exit a whirlwind of thoughts began to consume her. Why would she think he's my boyfriend? Was I too obvious? Oh god... Does Nick know? To the last one she decided no, Nick would've asked her, he was never one to keep something like this to himself. Never has. She chuckled slightly remembering the first time she had feelings for Nick and how he called her out on it calling her a golddigger. As she entered the car she wiped away her tears and decided that this would be a new start for her as well as Nick. She would stop pining over silly old Nick Miller and do all the things she wanted to do but never had the time for. Cooking classes, self-defence, wood carving the lot. This was a new beginning for Jessica Christopher Day. She was going to have a new start, a new attitude, a new beginning.