A/N: Trigger Warning! Childhood, elementary education, siblings and children doing childish things! You have been warned.


The Saga Of Tanya the Mistborn: A Young Noble Woman's Magical Covert Ops Record

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter T01: Lord Ruler lo Vult

Disclaimer: Brandon Sanderson has an army of over 20,000 clones all linked in a writing hive mind. That's the only explanation that makes sense! Also, he owns the Mistborn series. Konosuba is owned by Akatsuki Natsume and is godly. Carlo Zen made Tanya.


After being stationed in the southern continent for so long, Tanya von Degurechaff and the rest of the 203rd had been looking forward to some R&R in Berun. As she stepped off the plane in an airfield just outside of the city, the young blonde took a moment to breath in the nice, cool air, savoring the feeling of not being in a total full body sweat while she was wearing her uniform. She picked up her small suitcase, intent on finding some nearby café and, hopefully, some food that hadn't been prepared to military standards, ie, edible and actually pleasurable to eat.

As she was crossing the road just outside the airfield, she heard the insistent honking of a car horn, followed eventually by her name. Turning, she saw a car some ways down the road, from which Lieutenant Colonel Lergen, Major Uger, and an officer she didn't recognize were stepping down. Curious, Tanya stopped, and instinctively faced them and offered a salute.

It was at that point that Tanya von Degurechaff managed to check off another box in her isekai protagonist checklist.

Namely, being sent to another world by the one known as Truck-kun.

Afterward, the medical examiner had declared she had died instantly, a small blessing considering how thoroughly her skull had been crushed underneath the truck's wheels.

And thus was the ignominious end of the military career of Tanya von Degurechaff, who would no longer go on to become a decorated war hero and Chancellor of Germania, eventually leading the world against the incursion of the extraterrestrial invaders the Neuroi. But not, as it were, of Tanya herself. Otherwise this would be a far shorter fanfic and the management would be accused of bashing everyone's favorite depleted uranium cinnamon roll.


For a moment, there was warmth and darkness and the restful nothingness of sleep.

Then someone hit her.

As the little baby cried, expelling fluid from its lungs, all it could think of was 'oh, damn it, not this again!'

Curse you, Being X!


So far, the soft bedding, sturdy walls, glass windows, warm environs, regular feedings and, most importantly, complete lack of elderly women in penguin cosplay was already a marked improvement over her previous existence, though the lack of observable electricity didn't bode well. She had not missed the wet nursing, however. It was embarrassing in the extreme, especially given how young the one who fed her was. It was quite a relief when they eventually allowed her to go on solid food.

Her name was Taniar of House Tekiel, which of course quickly got turned to 'Tanya', resulting in her cursing Being X for being more unimaginative than last time. It was, by the standards of the place she found herself in, a large noble House, one of the largest and richest, functioning more like a megacorp than an extended family. As she understood it, Tanya was the disowned child of a member of the house who'd run off to be a priest and left her to the family to take care of. Or rather, the latest child. Tanya had six other half-siblings in the House, one of whom briefly took care of her for about a year or two before they went away. Tanya had no idea where they had gone, only that the girl had been rough and moody and clearly not qualified to take care of small children. Tanya's first words had been to tell her just that.

The slap she'd gotten merely proved she was right and her sister was an unfit caregiver of young children. Really, who'd slap a toddler?

As an illegitimate bastard, Tanya was rather low in the House hierarchy, with few opportunities to go much higher. She was intended to be a maid or, if she was really disfavored, a prostitute, and what kind of family knowingly sent their daughters off to be a prostitute? It was such a sinful waste of valuable human resources. Tanya could have cried.

She didn't even have the option of intellectual self-improvement as a means of finding better prospects, even if the only avenue available to an intellectual woman was the Steel Ministry. Children like her were barred from 'playing' in the House's library, The door was locked at all times except for when one of her older cousins needed a reference. It wasn't even like she could explain she wanted to read. They hadn't been taught how to since universal education was an anachronistic concept in the Final Empire. After all, why would a low noble most likely destined to be a maid need to read?

And her magic was gone. It was like losing an eye, or an ear. A piece of her had been taken away, and she could only tell it had ever been there now that it was gone. The sky would never be hers again.

It was safe to say Tanya spent most of her childhood in a state of frustration and barely restrained anger. Fortunately, she hid it very well, appearing as a docile, well-behaved child. She kept to herself, kept quiet, kept out of the way and carefully nurtured the image of being a cheerful, happy child by smiling at everyone who looked at her. It helped hide the burning rage in her heart at the difficulties of her situation as she scrambled to find alternatives that didn't end with her being a sex worker or menial labor with no path of advancement.

And then, she found it.


Tanya did not play with the other children if she could help it. Just because she was five by the local reckoning was no reason to act immature. She only had so much time to figure out how she could better her circumstances, so wasting any of it on pointless running around and yelling was a near-criminal waste of time. That said, sometimes it was unavoidable since their caretakers would need to put them in a centralized location to make watching all of them easier, and Tanya had to go along with it or risk being identified as a troublemaker. This, however, didn't keep the real troublemakers from trying to implicate her in their activities.

Really, Tanya had no idea why these children felt compelled to include her in their delinquent activities. Just because they were unable to follow simple rules while she could was no reason for them to consider her some sort of enemy. There had been no malice to her reporting how they'd stolen food from the kitchen, she had simply been insuring she wasn't tarred by the same brush just because she happened to sleep near them. Not everyone was like that unqualified toddler-slapping sister, so no matter what their punishment had been, it had surely been properly proportionate to their offense. True, given how backward this society was, there had likely been some corporal component, but–

And that was as far as Tanya's supply train of thought before the boys, ranging from 4 to 8 years of age, started beating her while others formed a wall to keep their activities hidden from the lowly minder who had been assigned to watch other them that afternoon. They got about two or three good shots in as she tried to fend them off, before one of the older boys managed to grab hold of her arms at the expense of his nose and one of his baby teeth. That was when the unhinged fury of a salaryman with nothing to lose and no prospects kicked the two in front of her, threw the one trying to hold her over her shoulder against two others and proceeded to dredge up every unarmed combat lesson the Imperial Military could teach a little girl as a fire seemed to burn in her stomach. She had no computation orb to enhance her body, no magic to use it with, and only a young, immature little girl's body to commit violence with.

By the time their minder finally managed to drag her off of her attackers, there were two or three broken noses and perhaps twice that lost baby teeth, resulting in things looking far bloodier than appropriate for the damage she had inflicted. In hindsight, it was an atrocious lack of control on Tanya's part, but she took some heart in that she was clearly defending herself. Surely they wouldn't be too harsh on her for excessive zeal when it came to self-defense, right? After all, no matter how backwards the technology, the Final Empire was surely a rational civilization.

Tanya did her best to look pitiful and innocent despite all the other children's blood on her.


"Burning pewter? Are you sure?" Lord Donart Tekiel demanded before he caught himself. "No, of course you're sure" he said. He was the House Lord after all, and he would not be bothered with this unless his subordinate relatives were not certain. He looked intently at said relative, one of the House Mistings, a second cousin whose relation to him wasn't worth remembering beyond that. What was important was that the man was a Seeker, capable of detecting that Allomancy was in use as long as it wasn't being done under the cover of a coppercloud. A frustrating relative to deal with, since he had to suppress his natural instinct to Soothe the man to show greater respect and obedience. "But a child? She shouldn't even have her beating for another few years."

The Seeker didn't shrug. Not to his House Lord. "She had just been beaten, my lord. Maybe that made her Snap. A little pewter in the water or from her food, and needing to live would be enough to get it burning."

"She's one of Tevidian's bastards, isn't she? With the plantation girl, the illegitimate one?" Lord Tekiel checked. At the Seeker's nod, they exchanged a look that crossed all barriers. Damn it, Tevidian, keep it in your trousers! "Very well then. Get her out of the dormitories, give her the usual test and start having her taught. I suppose it's early enough we can make a proper noble of her."


Tanya really shouldn't have been surprised this place had some form of magic. Sure, they called it 'allomancy', but it was clearly magic by any measure. She supposed she wasn't surprised she possessed a powerful form of it. She'd been sent here by Truck-kun after all, why not live the rest of the cliché? For once, Being X's derivativeness and lack of imagination worked in her favor there. Curse you, Being X!

The process of using allomancy itself was simple and straight forward. Swallowed certain metals, and those metals were used as a fuel source to power certain effects. The effects were mostly linear, intuitive and easy to understand, and she got used to swallowing down filings, shavings, flakes and even beads of metal eventually. Tin could enhance the senses to overwhelming and even painful degrees, while pewter enhanced the body's capabilities, durabilities and functions. Brass and zinc could be used to stimulate or suppress the emotions of others, either individually or as a mass area transmission. Bronze functioned as a sort of allomantic sensor, while copper masked allomantic emissions and protected against the effect of emotional allomancy. Iron and steel functioned as straight-line attraction and repulsion of metals, with the relative weights of the metal and whether or not they were anchored dictating if the metal moved towards or away from her, or she moved towards or away from the metal.

The first time she had used steel to propel herself from the ground had almost been as good as flying. She was willing to admit her laugh when she had done it might have been just a bit undignified for someone her total age.

Allomancers in general, and Mistborn in particular, were apparently much rarer than aerial mages in her previous Empire. Despite this, they were, hearteningly, not subjected to mandatory conscription by the government, with such participation being completely voluntary on the part of the allomancer in question. Sadly, the lack of sufficient numbers meant her training in allomancy was a matter of homeschooling rather than attending some sort of centralized academy. Thankfully, her House was numerous enough that they had sufficient people to teach her about allomancy.

Which was good and all but in addition to being taught magic, they'd also begun educating her in arithmetic and literacy. Finally, the basis for a proper profession! Thankfully, her body was in its formative stage, allowing her to learn the language easily enough. Tanya supposed she could consider herself truly multilingual now, knowing as many languages as she did. A pity she wouldn't be able to add it to her resume, given this world apparently had only one language,

After having been deprived of proper information for so long, now that she could actually read she strove to educate herself about outside conditions in the city and the rest of the Empire. While they'd begun letting her out into the city for her training as a Mistborn, that mostly happened at night, under the cover of the ubiquitous and constant mist. Given the lack of electric lighting, or any sort of mass lighting at all except for the occasional building bathed completely in light, that hardly helped her learn anything about the prevailing conditions of her new world except to inform her it had absolutely no night life. Sadly, they hadn't yet invented the newspaper in this world, so there was no way she could educate herself as to current events short of idling outside the kitchen and using the sensory-enhancement effects of tin to listen to gossip, much of which was pointless, useless and mindless.

Therefore she asked permission to use the library, ostensibly to practice her reading comprehension, and after some delaying, probably as a power move to remind her of her lowly place as both a junior member of the House in every sense of the word and a new trainee, she was given permission provided she finished her training for the night, and that she follow the common courtesies of library use such as not removing books from the library, returning the books where she found them and of course, remaining silent.

This was contingent on her finishing that night's training. Such was only logical and therefore she set about with her lessons with a will. Arithmetic, literacy, imperial history, theology geography, as well as who the other noble houses in the city and empire were and the notable figures therein were taught to her during the morning, and the subtle uses of allomancy, such as soothing and rioting emotions, blocking out stimuli to concentrate on specific inputs while using tin, fine control of steelpushing and ironpulling, and identifying allomantic pulses while burning bronze was taught to her during the afternoon. At dusk, in the mist and the night, she was taught how to use all her allomantic skills together as only a mistborn could, using steel and iron and pewter and tin to navigate the city, stalk and pursue someone on the ground and in the air, how to be undetectable and swift, and a host of other lessons. After a couple of hours, they would finish with a spar, usually Tanya against one or more of the family's allomancers and some combination of the house guard. Only then would she be dismissed to go to bed or the library, and even then she was only allowed an hour's use before she was required to go to bed, no exceptions. Well, she didin't want to risk stunting her growth again anyway. Hopefully she would be tall again in this life!

Sadly, a lot of the training involved martial applications of her abilities, and a rather greater emphasis on the use of knives than she'd previously been exposed to. Mistborn and their lesser cousins mistings were expected to be the most important line of defense for their House, especially from other allomancers. Still, the concepts involved were almost childishly simple to someone who'd grown up with the complex mechanics of a modern society's video games, and their execution easily learned, especially since pewter imparted low-end shounen-manga like abilities to one's body, allowing even a prepubescent to lift several times her own weight and move at manga martial-artist speeds. This made the training quite simple, literally childishly so, despite how her trainers overacted at barely being able to keep up with her to encourage her. She supposed it was how they'd learned to do things when teaching children, letting them feel a sense of accomplishment, but frankly it seemed a bit overdone.


- To be continued…


A/N: Because Tanya gonna Tanya.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.