My Updates usually aren't that slow, it's just that the last chapter was really tricky to write and I gave myself a little bit too much of a challenge to write a realistic prank that can actually cause an entire empire to lose faith in and unplug their central computer. The time between chapters should go back to the normal rate of a week or two between updates.
Chapter 85 Captain Marvel's Quest
Harry wasn't sure whether or not he should have been surprised that Ms. Danvers had somehow found the best scotch in the bar, but he did say everything was on the house. Before heading over to her, Harry opened a cabinet, pulled out a glass and then took a seat on his side of the bar table, next to Goose and diagonally from Carol. He grabbed the bottle she'd already used half of and poured a glass for himself.
Harry could in fact get drunk. When he drank enough alcohol, he'd get the Status Inebriated, but it didn't have much of an effect on him. Lowering inhibitions was pointless for someone who already did whatever he wanted while completely sober, so a partial reduction in coordination was the only real outward effect and he could remove the Status with a spell whenever he wanted to. Still, it took a lot for him to get drunk so he preferred only to drink the good stuff meaning his stocks only had the good stuff.
Carol waited patiently for him to pour his own drink. She'd already waited two hours with Goose and it was hard to stay mad when you had unlimited access to good liquor and access to an affectionate orange cat you hadn't seen in years. A waiter robot had even set up a plate of cream for Goose.
Harry started with, "Introductions first. You can call me Obscurus. It's not my name, but it's what Fury and most of the people on Earth call me."
Carol asked with an impressive combination of disbelief and sass, "You know Fury?"
Harry pulled a picture out of nowhere and handed it to Carol right as she was taking another sip of scotch.
Que glorious spit take. The picture was of course of Fury wearing an Afro Wig. The absolute scowl of irritation combined with the incredulity of that giant fake wig made for such a stark contrast that Carol was unable to stop herself from throwing her head back and howling with laughter. She was in tears in seconds and collapsed onto the bar slamming her fists into the table in a minute, clearly having trouble breathing.
Harry smiled and took a few sips of the scotch, enjoying the amber liquid and rich flavor. The glasses all had charms on them that kept the liquor cool so no ice was needed.
Goose simply sat there, quietly staring back and forth between Harry and Carol, silently judging them both. Or at least that's what Harry figured she was doing.
Carol calmed down and saw Harry drinking while petting an equally chill Goose. Carol wiped her tears away and said, "Good god I needed that. How did you get this picture?"
Harry watched her move to take another drink from her glass and gave a smirk. He answered, "Well, from what I understand, it involved a laser sword duel, a large amount of fruit baskets, a few hundred chickens, a fiddle playing alien, and some high quality S&M bondage play."
Que second glorious spit take.
Carol slammed her glass to the table and shouted, "What the fuck?!" She already realized he was doing it on purpose so she reluctantly pushed the glass away, knowing he'd probably get her again the next time she took a sip.
Harry's smirk deepened and said, "You'd have to ask Fury for more details."
She rolled her eyes and replied, "Yeah, I'm certain he'll share with me exactly what happened."
"You can ask Coulson then."
"Wait, that nice guy who was with Fury?"
"You know him? In any case, he knows exactly what happened."
Carol regarded him for a moment and gave a nod. "I see. Well, did Fury tell you about me?"
"No. A few weeks ago I wanted a ship to take apart. A raccoon told me Star Force has the best stuff so I found a crew about to kill some Nova Scientists. One of them recognized Goose. I captured them all and extracted the info from that guy's head. It was Yon-Rogg."
"You stole their ship and took out Yon-Rogg's crew?"
"Yup. Then I donated them to the Nova Corps."
Carol chuckled and smiled widely at that while looking as if she was reminiscing. She grabbed the glass back and poured it full again. She then gave a mock glare at Harry, daring him to say anything. Against expectations, he raised his glass to hers and said, "A toast to that guy's deserved ending?"
Carol considered it and gave a curt nod as they chinked glasses and took a drink.
After finishing Carol asked, "So why do you have Goose with you? Did Fury ask you to babysit?"
"No. She is being spoiled by one of the most powerful people on earth, Harry Potter. I'm just taking her on a walk."
"This is your idea of taking a cat on a walk? To another Galaxy? How far can those portals take you?"
Harry threw a portal to the side and a view of the Statue of Liberty with New York City could be seen behind it.
Harry closed it and said, "Distance isn't a limitation. I can make a portal anywhere as long as I know the approximate coordinates and the place isn't shielded by something weird like a barrier of heavy anti-electro matter. The only real limitation is that I can't make a portal on a moving space ship unless it is in geostationary orbit."
Carol nodded which made Harry grateful she didn't try to argue that planets also moved. The six dimensional coordinates Harry used to make a portal took into account the rotation of a planet and the planet's rotation around a star and the star's rotation about the galaxy and the galaxy's movement away or towards from other galaxies. It all references something else. A spaceship moving in space has constantly changing six dimensional coordinates since there is no fixed point to reference from.
Carol asked, "Is Goose taken care of?"
"She is spoiled rotten. She has her own room which has a camera. The camera acts as a mouse pad meaning by moving around and moving her tail, she can browse the internet as she pleases. She spends far too much time on youtube watching cat videos."
Carol flatly said, "I have no idea what that is."
"Then you need a vacation."
She snorted at that. "Can't. Too much to do."
Harry nodded and said, "Then maybe I can help. I messed up earlier today and you tried to help. I was able to replace the Black Vortex with a fake and ensure my plan goes through, but it was my fault that it messed up in the first place. I owe you a favor. So what is it you need help with?"
Carol considered it for a while and asked, "Can I have the Black Vortex?"
Harry made a portal to where it was stored and said, "If you want it." He didn't particularly need it and he wasn't one to ignore a debt.
Carol walked through the portal and gave a look at her own reflection. With the exception of Harry, those who saw their reflection in the mirror would see what they looked like after being given a Cosmic Power Boost.
She walked back out of the portal back to the bar and took another drink. "Never mind. It's too tacky. What are you gonna do with it?"
Harry answered, "See if there is anyone else responsible who wants it. If not, I'll study it."
Though Harry couldn't see his reflection, he could likely use the Black Vortex regardless. The Cosmic Energy boost would be displayed as a long term Buff and probably give him the stats and strength of someone around level 350. Doing so would give him the ability to fight Time Constructs while using Battle Meditation and speed up the rate at which he could level up.
However, the Cosmic Power boost was not his own power, so it would not be invisible like the other energies within him. If there was any way to track Cosmic Power, the fact that Harry could be in two places at once or that Harry and Obscurus were the same person would get out. Although he'd level up faster, the long term benefits didn't outweigh the demerits.
Besides, to get the Cosmic Power boost, you had to say, "I submit to the Black Vortex." Harry already submitted to his wives and wasn't going to submit to something he couldn't even have sexy time with.
Carol thought over his offer for a bit longer and asked, "Know a good planet a large amount of refugee aliens could take as a home that the Kree wouldn't be able to find?"
[New Quest: A New Home for the Skrulls
Find a home that is :
-Safe from the Kree
-Has resources to flourish
-Will not get eaten by Galactus.]
Harry pulled a data pad out of his inventory and asked aloud, "For the Skrulls right? Give me a minute."
Harry's data pad connected to the server built into Navi which was massive. It also stored all the knowledge he swiped from the Nova Prime and Hala.
As for the Skrulls, he didn't want them in the Milky Way. Their species would be too much of a threat once their numbers got large enough, so he'd rather have them in the Andromeda so the races here could act as a buffer in case the Skrulls went bad.
Harry went through the data for a few seconds but during that time he'd gone through thousands of planets and had been narrowing his search using the given parameters. Eventually he found three which matched and of those three, one stood out in particular as the best.
Harry pulled up the data and said, "Planet GFX-449. A mostly water planet with only about ten percent of the planet having a surface above the water. The planet itself is actually a water core planet and it's electromagnetic field is generated by ionically charged water which circulates the planet's interior. A long time ago the planet used to be a part of a binary star system but one of the stars exploded. The planet mostly survived but the system is now covered in ion gases which cause the engines of most ships to explode if they try to enter the region."
Carol gave him a blank look and asked, "And why is any of that good?"
"You know who Galactus is right?"
She frowned. "Yeah. Him I've heard of."
"Well, he only eats planets which have life on the surface and a molten core. This is a known fact. Hala does not have a molten core and Nova Prime is a water core planet. That's why those two planets are the capitals of their regions even though most of the surface of the planets are basically inhabitable. They have disadvantages, but they will never be eaten by Galactus."
"Okay, I'll bite. How would anyone migrate there if ships explode heading there?"
"My ship won't explode. I'll head over and get the coordinates and then I can make a permanent teleportation pad anywhere the Skrulls want which can shift people and supplies between that planet to the pad. I would recommend putting the pad on a ship. I could also put a few emergency teleporters on the planet in case they need to get off for some reason."
Carol gave a look of mild disbelief and asked, "You'd really be willing to do this?"
"My ship can easily travel faster than light so it's less than a day trip to head to the planet, scout a bit, and get some coordinates. Making the transporter pad is a bit tricker, but like I said, I owe you a favor."
Harry downloaded what was currently known about the planet into a memory card and handed it to Carol. "Let me know if the Skrulls come to a decision. I have a voicemail you can call which I check at least once a week. Leave a message on that for a place to meet and I'll head over. Pick some Skrulls and I'll show them around the planet to see if they like it enough to make it their new home."
Carol considered and nodded before finishing off her glass and getting up. "Well then. I guess I'll see you around." She turned to leave, made it about three steps, before turning back and grabbing and putting the cap on the scotch. She saw the hurt look Harry gave her and she smiled and said, "On the house right?" And took the remainder of the bottle with her out the door.
Harry sighed and ordered the robots to pack everything up. It took another half hour but Harry was able to move everything into storage and leave the planet the way he found it.
Harry's next stop was Kamar-Taj to see the Ancient One.
Her reaction to seeing him was of course, "Hello Harry. What have you done this time?"
Harry impishly smirked at the fact that he rarely made informal visits simply because there was rarely a long period where he didn't head over to her due to some calamity that had occurred.
"Nothing that bad. Well, I may have used an over the top prank to overthrow the cyber dictator of an alien empire, but this visit doesn't relate to that."
She gave Harry a deadpan stare and said, "I see."
Harry opened a portal and pulled out the Black Vortex. It was too large to put into his inventory and shrinking magic didn't work on it. He wasn't sure he'd put it in his inventory even if he could since it seemed to have a mind of its own. Harry would put an Infinity Stone into his inventory before he put something with a mind of its own in there again.
He'd actually done so once with the Ancient One's permission using the Time Stone. All he learned about it was that the Time Stone was basically granted Admin Access to some of the Coding of the universe. That was useful to know since it helped Harry reorganize his attempt to recreate Block Transfer Computations in this reality. Of course not every User could properly handle Admin Access and there were ways of tracking those who had Admin Privileges, so using the Time Stone in any big way would allow those looking for it to track and find it.
The Ancient One did not recognize the Mirror but she did sense it reach out to her. She looked at her reflection in the mirror for a few moments before asking, "And what exactly is this?"
"A Celestial Artifact probably made to boost the rate of evolution. The greater your potential, the more the Cosmic Power it grants you will strengthen you. Compatibility with Cosmic Power is probably seen as the right evolutionary direction to the Celestials."
The Ancient One nodded, understanding what he was pointing out. The Celestials wanted evolution. They wanted life in the universe to progress to a more powerful, more complex state, and saw it as their purpose to facilitate the change. There were theories that a Celestial had visited Earth at the dawn of it's creation and was responsible for the planet's unique status in the universe as a concentrated source of change and power.
Harry asked, "Don't think I'll use it, but before I try to take it apart and study it, I wanted to know if you wanted it for the Sanctum?"
After taking another look at her reflection, the Ancient One answered, "No. This will not benefit the Sanctum. A easy to use shortcut to power will do more harm than good for the Sorcerers of Kamar-Taj."
"I thought as much, just wanted to ask."
"Thank you for that. Now, bring out the tea and tell me about this... prank."
Harry smiled and did as instructed. His original plan didn't require anyone to be killed, but it would also take a few months for it to work. His adjusted plan should have the Supreme Intelligence unplugged in a few weeks, a month at the most.
Once finished, Harry headed for the University. The weekend was over and the morning had come and it was time for his first class. Now that he had a lot more classes he couldn't personalize the pranks so he decided to go with some less than subtle ones.
For his first week of classes, every time Harry said the word 'wave,' he'd be struck but a silent bolt of lightning and drop dead. Then another Harry would enter the classroom and pick up where the dead Harry left off. By the end of each class, a pile of smoking corpses awkwardly littered the room.
Some of his more stuck up students directly asked him to stop it and Harry promised he would. After he got struck by lightning and another Harry entered the room, the students would complain, and the 'new' Harry would only point at the corpse and mention, "Oh, he promised he would stop. I didn't. I can promise though if you want me to."
When said thick headed student did request Harry to stop again, he said he would, and when he again got struck by lightning and replaced, the student complained again. The 'new new' Harry pointed at the recent corpse and asked, "Would you like to take that corpse to the board of education and complain that he lied to you?"
The laughing and snickering from the class nicely shut the man up.
Some time during the weeks that followed, Peter somehow got two more playmates.
Seeing Sandman as little more than a minor set back, Oscorp tried the Cellular Mineralization experiment again. This time they put the guy in a suit they felt would hold the man together and keep him strong. Harry had no idea what they were thinking putting a horn on the suit.
It worked, mostly, and the Rhino of course broke out and charged head first into an armored bank car to rob it.
In the very same week, a privately funded super soldier project run by someone Harry considered a crackpot trying to scam people out of their money, ending up producing their own super-human. Harry found that one of the people in charge of the funding was the owner of the newspaper, the Daily Bugle, J Jonah Jameson. He hated Spider-Man and wanted the super-soldier to defeat him and replace him as a legitimate hero. So the direction they went ended up making a Scorpion Man who had a suit with a scorpion tail that could shoot acid.
The crackpot in charge of the project ignored the data showing why it wouldn't work and only showed the guys paying for it the heavily edited data showing how it would work. The volunteer they got was actually a private investigator whom Jameson convinced to volunteer by threatening to fire him and paying him $10,000.
The only thing about the entire project that surprised Harry was that the poor sod survived. Harry did in fact approach him and ask him if he wanted to be fixed, but the man said he liked his power and just wanted to kill Spider-Man and Jameson. Harry erased the conversation from the man's mind and let him do what he wanted.
At least after that Peter stopped complaining about his suit. He found out the hard way it wasn't just bullet proof, but acid proof as well.
The problem though was that now the number of dudes Peter fought on occasion had increased to five. Harry did say he'd let his girls out if six showed up at the same time, but that didn't mean he'd sit by and let it happen. The next dude to get super powers, Harry would take care of himself, no matter what.
It was a month later that Harry got a message from Carol and a place to meet. It was during school hours, so he had to do his classes first and use his Time Turner, but that wasn't a big issue.
In his Obscurus appearance, Harry made a portal to the region and found it was empty. He then took out a folding table from his inventory along with a folding chair and an egg timer. He spun the timer and set it on the table and sat down. Last, he took out his data pad and started browsing the local news and said, "You have five minutes to show up or I leave."
He didn't bother looking around or searching the area. Two minutes later, a green skinned Skrull and Carol both showed up.
The Skrull looked over Harry for a bit and said, "You're not what I expected."
Harry looked up and asked. "What were you expecting?"
The Skrull shrugged and answered, "I don't honestly don't know. But you don't look like the person who took down the Supreme Intelligence."
Harry smiled at that. The whole of the Galaxy knew that the Supreme Intelligence had been retired. They really did try to keep the reason a secret, but word got out eventually.
Turns out there was a massive conspiracy involving a bomb and some experimental procedures that could grant a power up. A group of Kree were selected and organs were replaced to grant them amazing powers. They then claimed they found the Black Vortex and claimed their powers came from it. They were to take the Black Vortex, which was actually a bomb designed by Kree scientists, to Hala where it would be charged and used to destroy 99% of all Kree on the planet.
Of course, the Supreme Intelligence denied this, but there was a lot of proof that the Supreme Intelligence had done so. The body of the Kree scientist who exposed the plan, the batteries in the experimented Kree's organs, the bomb itself, and the communications blackout that stopped anyone from leaving Hala.
The Supreme Intelligence claimed it was all fake, a frame job. The SI stated that there was no record of any scientist named Rank-Pa or any experiments that replaced organs and the bomb was not created on the SI's orders.
When the body of Rank-Pa vanished, when the batteries taken from the Kree went missing and only normal organs could be found, and when the Bomb itself appeared to have self-destructed, all evidence against the SI seemed to have vanished.
Considering the Supreme Intelligence had absolute power on the planet, the fact that all evidence against it suddenly vanished did not actually help the Supreme Intelligence's case.
As a final measure, the leaders of the Kree isolated the Supreme Intelligence's Core Directives and ran a simulation. The simulation was about the scenario that Rank-Pa told the Kree. Would sacrificing the lives of a majority of the Kree to make the Kree race stronger go against the Core Directives? The SI could edit its own data, deceive, and lie, but this would prove once and for all if the possibility actually existed.
The answer was a definitive yes. This scenario did not in fact go against the directives programmed into the Supreme Intelligence. Kree could be sacrificed in any number as long as it was for the good of all Kree.
Although the Kree High Command understood this, they never realized the lengths that such a directive could justify. If sacrificing 99% of all Kree increased the likelihood that the remaining Kree would evolve into a superior species, then it did in fact go along with its objective, for the good of all Kree, to kill off 99% of the Kree population.
This realization, more than anything else, resulted in the shut down of the Supreme Intelligence. Regardless of whether or not the SI was being framed, the possibility that the Supreme Intelligence could theoretically justify such an action meant it could not be allowed to continue running the Kree empire.
Harry answered the Skrull's query, "Believe it or not, looks can be deceiving."
The Skrull rolled his eyes and shook his head. He then extended his hand and Harry took it for a shake. He said, "Talos, current leader of the Skrull."
Harry replied, "Obscurus, talented prankster and performer of impossible feats."
Talos smiled and asked, "So, you have an idea of a planet we can relocate to?"
Harry pulled a large, rolled up rug from his inventory and threw it. It unfurled in the air and started floating a foot off the ground. Harry walked over and stepped onto it. It had a decent amount of give, like stepping onto a pile of sand, but you wouldn't fall if you kept firm footing. He walked from the back of the carpet to the front and sat on the front. He then threw a large portal in front of the carpet that overlooked the ground, far below the portal's opening.
He looked back and said, "Take a seat, and I'll give you the grand tour."
Talos and Carol gave each other a look and shared a shrug before taking a careful step onto the carpet and sitting down towards the middle.
The carpet slowly floated through the portal showing Talos and Carol the scenery of the planet. The moment the portal was behind them and closed, the front of the carpet fell forwards and the whole thing ended up dive bombing towards the surface of the planet.
Talos's little girl-like scream could be easily heard over the rushing wind passing them by. Talos also proceeded to update Harry's knowledge of Skrull profanities.
Carol eventually tapped on Harry's shoulder giving Harry the impression to stop messing with Talos, so Harry decelerated the carpet while steering it upright and eventually horizontally.
Talos took a few moments to regain his breath before he asked, "Did you really have to do that?"
Harry turned back and asked, "Do you still think I don't look like someone who pranked the Supreme Intelligence into early retirement?"
"No, you look like someone capable of much worse."
Harry nodded, pleased with Talos's accurate observation.
Once Talos took a long look at the planet, he no longer seemed to care what had happened. The electromagnetic field of the planet kept the ionized space gases out, so there was no issue with using technology on the planet. Though Harry said only ten percent of the planet had land, the planet was a size larger than Earth and that land was a continent larger than Asia.
The planet itself was lush with life. The trees and plants did not have chlorophyll, and were not green, but had multitudes of colors making the forests look like a work of art. There were mountains made almost entirely of quartz crystal. There were many fruit bearing plants and most of the animals above land were herbivorous while the ones that were not could be handled easily enough. Even the waters near the shores had crystal clear water and some bioluminescent reefs.
There were multiple regions on the continent and many resources could be found. The most useful materials were the fossilized bones of some ancient titanic sized whales from before the second sun blew up. The minerals in those fossils contained components unlike other fossils and had a variety of uses from construction to medicine.
Harry only had five hours so he spent three of it giving a grand tour. The transporter he made from them would be large enough to shift over small craft, so they could use them to explore the planet at their leisure. Talos was quite busy using what Harry assumed was a camera on all the sights and from the number of pictures taken, Harry figured the guy really liked the place.
Harry had already obtained soil samples from the various regions and took them out of his inventory to hand to Talos once the tour was over.
Though Harry's back was turned the whole time, he could tell that Talos had cried at a few points. It really was a nice planet, just a little inaccessible to those without the ability to traverse the ion cloud.
At the end, Talos tried not to give away his giddiness as he said, "I will be discussing the details of the planets with my brothers in arm and should reach a decision in a month or so." The fact that Carol actually giggled at his attempt to be serious showed exactly how enthusiastic he really seemed to be.
Harry nodded and said, "Alright, contact me when you've made your decision. If you decide on that planet, it will take me a week to make a pair of teleporters which can shift from one to the other. You'd best gather the supplies needed for an expedition to make a base camp before then."
Talos rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I know, we've done this before."
Harry smirked and said, "See you then," and turned to head out. This morning he'd gotten an invitation to create a booth for the Stark Expo that would be starting in a few months and Tony wanted to give him the first pick of places to set up.
One more chapter until we've reached the point of Iron Man 2, Thor, and Hulk. And it certainly won't be a boring chapter. Harry will fight an ancient, evil former Sorcerer Supreme and get his final Harem member, Red Sonja!