Not yours


When Caspian sounded that horn, he expected to bring back the great Kings and Queens of the Golden Age. He never expected to find kids such as himself. High King Peter, for once, was nothing like he imagined. He was arrogant and proud, his head was always upwards as if he was carrying an invisible crown. His voice was always angry and his commands showed no space for arguments. Caspian wanted to see the King he had read all about, but couldn't find it on the boy before him.

Queen Susan, however, was all he had read about. She was beautiful, kind and whenever her eyes were on him it was like she understood him, silently. He knew he was falling in love the moment his eyes landed on her. The Prince remembered when she looked at Peter as if she was avoiding him, shyly. Was she taken by him too? Caspian felt hopeful.

He explained the whole situation for the siblings, hoping they would know how to help. He knew that, even though they looked young, they were older. They had ruled Narnia for many years and Peter's skills on war were taught by tutors even now, thousands of years later. They were known to be victorious.

They traveled together for a while, Caspian wanted to show them the allies he had gathered. One night, the Prince was sleeping on the ground along with his companions, but when he opened his eyes, having his sleep disturbed by sounds of an owl, he couldn't see Queen Susan. He always kept track on her, so he knew exactly where she had laid down to sleep. Worried, he got up and noticed that the High King was also missing.

He wondered where they were, so he started to search on the woods. Not far away from the camp, he heard their voices. Caspian walked a few steps forward until he saw the King on a pond bathing. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Queen Susan with her exposed breasts, sitting at the edge of the pool. Her legs were the only parts on her body submerged on the water.

As a gentleman, he turned around not to see more, but his heart bit fast. She looked like a mermaid, he thought. He wished at that moment that he was her brother too, so he could see her like that without malice, but this thought was erased by the longing he felt for that woman, he didn't want to be her brother. He wanted her to be his wife.

He heard their laughter and for the first time he could hear the benevolence on the High King's voice. It was like he was different person completely. He whispered something to his sister and she put both her hands on her mouth to muffle her giggles, at least was what he gathered from behind the trees.

The Prince left, giving the Queen her privacy.

On the days that followed on the road, he noticed how the older monarchs were inseparable. Susan obviously cared a lot for her brother, but the way she fixed his hair whenever she thought it was disheveled, or the way he had his hand on the small of her back when they walked, showed the Prince that they had an especial relationship, indeed.

Whenever he approached the Queen, Peter sent him a warning look. A look that told him to tread carefully. He was protective of his sister, he gathered. Of course he was always courteous, proper, around her. He wanted her to like him too.

However, as they approached their base, he noticed once again how their relationship was different from the other siblings. Susan never touched Edmund, but she always had her arms around Peter's. They slept in the same tent, too. Which, Caspian thought it was very odd. But everyone else thought it was natural, they never even blinked when Peter led Susan to his tent that first night.

The Prince started to wonder whether he had read wrong information about the High King and the Queen. Maybe they were husband and wife, not brother and sister. The information could get lost with time, and so many years had passed since they ruled. Maybe he was pursuing a lost cause, a married woman. He had to know for sure, but Susan was never alone. One of her siblings was always with her, especially Peter.

Until he saw an opening. The Queen was observing the twilight from above the cave, a place where she could see her former realm with the advantage of the high ground. As an archer, she appreciated the height, he thought.

"Queen Susan." He said from behind, walking towards her.

"You can call me Susan." And she smiled at him. He was stunned by her beauty and felt such satisfaction to see that smile dedicated to him.

"Susan." He repeated. He wanted to ask her, but he didn't want to pry, show his interest. He was sure that if Peter was her husband, he would kill him. The Prince desperately hoped he was just a brother. He never wished something so strongly. "I imagine you feel nostalgic coming back." He watched as she nodded, looking ahead. "How was it, back then? Ruling with your siblings, Lucy and Edmund?" He fished.

"And Peter." She said, with her eyebrows arched. "Well, it wasn't easy. Narnia was wild and we were just children in the beginning." Susan told him, watching with interest when he seemed to relax. Caspian felt his heart beating fast as soon as she confirmed Peter to be her brother. She was single and he wanted to pursue her. He was going to ask Peter for her hand as soon as this war was finished, the Prince promised himself.

"Su." They heard another voice from behind. It was Peter with his hand extended. The Queen didn't wait to take his hand, saying a distant "goodbye" to the Prince.

Caspian watched from above when they left the cave. The High King led Susan by his arm and he pointed to specific points towards them, as if showing her places to hide the archers. Eventually, he pointed to where Caspian stood, watching them. He supposed it was a good place to position their archers, he thought. But the King lingered a look on him. He was serious and even from afar Caspian could feel the danger coming from his eyes.

The Prince continued looking as the Queen put both her hands on Peter's face, forcing him to look at her. Peter seemed to relax, his shoulders gave up and Caspian felt jealous when the King wrapped his arms around Susan, bringing her close to him. Susan rested her hands on his waist and the Prince felt like he was losing a battle.

Peter assembled their allies to explain his plan. He wanted to invade the fort, but Caspian thought it was reckless. His heart exploded when Susan, the woman who had always been faithful to her brother, sided with him. But Peter was High King and the commanding tone he had made easy for him to decide anyone's fate. They trusted him. Caspian couldn't do anything but follow the plan he never agreed with.

The Prince wanted Susan to stay back, but his words were muffled by the sounds of swords being gathered and armor being piled up for the taking. One more time he felt like he could not match Peter's powerful voice, the way everyone stopped whatever they were doing to listen to him made the Prince look weak, as no one paid attention to his protests towards Susan's safety.

When the plan went southwards, Caspian felt validated, but the look on the King seeing his people dying worried him. It was like he wanted to die with them. He turned to Susan and the way she looked at her brother broke his heart, she was so sad.

Coming back, they fought. The King was once again being obnoxious, blaming him when he had never even agreed with that plan. He wanted everything to work out, he wanted to be stronger, to be taken seriously as much as Peter was, even when his plan killed many of his people.

Magic was thrown at him, seducing him. He almost caved. Peter was the one to save him. But then, he looked over at the King and he was as entranced by the magic as he was. The Prince thought it was so strange, because he had everything he wanted. What else did the King want? But the spell was broken by Edmund and the next thing he saw was the Queen looking at him with disappointing eyes. No, he admitted, she wasn't looking at him at all.

What transpired between the siblings that moment had nothing to do with him. Susan ran away and Caspian turned to Peter. He looked down, like he wanted to cry, ashamed. Suddenly, he saw Peter running to where Susan had exited. Caspian wanted to be the one to comfort Susan, so he recklessly ran too.

He saw when Peter reached Susan. His heart was beating fast, knowing he was overstepping his place. He was too far away to listen what they were speaking, but the slap the Queen placed on her brother's face echoed on the cave, loud and sharp. The Prince looked at the King and worried for Susan, he didn't know what Peter could do to her after that.

However, what he witnessed surprised him. The High King's cry filled his ears as if it was an explosion. "I'm weak!" He shouted. A minute of absolute silence passed between the siblings and the King fell to his knees, sobbing. Caspian thought at that moment that he didn't look like a King at all.

Peter held Susan's legs as if he was begging for forgiveness. Caspian watched when the Queen gently dropped to her own knees and held the King as if he was a child. He heard the sobs coming from Peter and suddenly Caspian knew he had to leave. This wasn't something he was supposed to witness. He left before anyone saw him.

Afterwards, the Prince didn't know what happened, but they seemed crossed. Susan wouldn't stand next to Peter as she always did. The King looked as angry as the Queen, and Caspian thought that he shouldn't, he was the one who was wrong for letting himself be seduced by evilness.

Caspian almost gave up on Susan, understanding that her love for her brother was something that would always linger between them. But then, she gave him her horn and he was so sure she loved him as much as he loved her. All he wanted to do was survive this battle, so he could take her for himself. Her brother be damned, they loved each other!

But his hopes were short lived, as his heart dropped when Susan saw her brother battered from the duel. She looked so worried. But then, as if convincing himself, Caspian thought that she had every right to be worried, Peter was her brother after all. He kept his hopes up, she was giving him a reason to fight.

When the battle finally ended, Caspian wanted to embrace Susan, knowing deep in his heart that she loved him too, but when he looked over where she was, he saw with a pang on his stomach that she embraced Peter, she sought comfort on her brother one more time.

After his coronation, the Prince kept staring at Susan. She looked so happy to see the crown on his head and all he wanted was to share this moment with her as his Queen, Queen of Narnia, as she was so long ago. At night, on his chambers, he was wearing his sleeping clothes when he heard someone knocking on his door. He smiled widely when he saw it was Susan. He knew it wasn't appropriate to have her in his chambers at this time, but he let her in, he would never deny her.

He was a little upset, though, when she said that she was there to retrieve her magical horn. "It was a present from a dear friend, Caspian. I hope you understand and excuse my recklessness." She said, very polite, very gently.

Of course he gave it back to her, she could have whatever she wanted from him.

He thought that this was the perfect opportunity for him to confess his feelings. Caspian thought that Susan looked at him as if she wanted him to, the way she lingered in his bedroom, at night. The Prince was aware of the impropriety of the moment and she must know as well.

But he was a coward and she left saying goodnight. Caspian wanted to be brave, to pour his heart to her, now that the war was over. He felt like a child under her gaze, however. Much like her brother, she had those knowing eyes, the eyes of someone older than they seemed. But Peter's had an edge on it, a danger that made Caspian quiver. While, Susan's were gentle and loving, always very loving.

With a strike of courage, he decided to pursue the Queen on the dark corridor. He was barefoot and the candles offered a little comfort, since he could see Susan's shadow rather than her form. He halted quickly, however, when he heard a deep, but playful voice coming from where she was.

It was High King Peter, he could see him clearly with the light of the moon and the candles lighting the corridor. Caspian could hear as well, they were whispering, but the silence on the castle made every noise seem a shout.

"Are happy now, my brother?" The Queen asked, the amusing tone in her voice wasn't missed by Caspian.

"As a matter of fact, I am." Peter said with his usual voice, but the Prince felt something different. There was an easiness he hadn't heard from the King on their campaign.

Caspian could see the soft smile on Peter's features and he remembered the night he saw them bathing together, when they first met.

Suddenly, Peter approached Susan and backed her to the wall, eliciting a loud moan from her. Caspian wanted to intervene, duel with Peter for hurting his lady, but he stopped when noticed the moans coming from Susan's mouth weren't from pain. The Prince saw the King pressing the Queen on the wall, his body trapping hers. His hands reached the edge of Susan's dress, exposing her soft thighs.

Caspian's eyes got big, finally realizing the nature of the monarch's relationship. They were brother and sister, but also lovers. He felt disgusted on witnessing such sinful act. He saw Peter whispering something on Susan's ear, but could hear anything.

"What about the Pri-" Susan was interrupted by her brother's voice.

"Let him watch." He said on her ear.

"Peter, you're so- Ah!" Susan moaned louder. That pleasure noise was the only thing Caspian heard from that interaction.

The Prince shamefully noticed the growing disturbance inside his own underwear. Listening to such sounds coming from Susan, the loud noise of flesh hitting flesh and the grunt of pleasure coming from the King made impossible for his body to remain indifferent.

Caspian closed his eyes, his breathing became erratic as the noises coming from the siblings were getting louder, dirtier. He heard clearly when Susan shouted Peter's name in such a manner that almost made him come inside his pants. The King wasn't finished though. He pumped into her while she trembled on the wall and then Caspian finally heard the groan of satisfaction coming from her brother. Her own brother, he thought disgustingly.

In his masochist curiosity, the Prince continued observing. Susan wasn't whispering anymore.

"Peter, carry me inside? I don't think I can walk." The loud laughter coming from Peter was the cue Caspian took to leave the corridor and come back to his room.

The tears started to pour down his cheek before he even reached his bedchamber. Caspian felt betrayed, he was so sure she loved him, she had given him her magic horn, but he could see the truth now. He had gotten in the middle of a lover's spat, she gave it to him to spite her brother. She made a fool out of him. The Prince, now King, would never forget Susan, the woman who broke his heart.

In the morning, Caspian had a visitor. The Lion went to his room to make sure he knew what to do with the land, advise him. He promised he would do his best and the Lion seemed pleased.

Before He left, however, the new King of Narnia asked:

"Could a brother and a sister love each other as husband and wife?"

The Great Lion only replied "There is no right love or wrong love. There is only love." And he disappeared.

King Caspian felt that this was the lesson he had to learn all along.

Fin