*Disclaimer: I own nothing of Gainax, Khara, or Warner Bros. Records.*

Rei Ayanami was returning to her run-down apartment after a long afternoon of testing at NERV HQ. It was often the same thing every day for her as she made her way up the stairs...Or it would be, were it not for a very unusual parrot that had somehow escaped its enclosure from the local zoo. Now what made this particular parrot stand out was how it seemed to have a great penchant for mimicry, and for picking up lots of words from the visitors who came through every day. That same parrot had somehow made it through an open vent above Rei's window, and as it flapped about, landed on the knob to the front door, accidentally causing the long-ignored tumbler and lock to trigger. So when Rei went to open her door, she found it locked for the first instance in all the time she'd lived in it. Of course, unfortunately for her, she was outside.

Rei's ears perked up as she heard what appeared to be indistinct chattering coming from the other side of the door. Thinking that someone might be inside, she knocked three times.

Parrot: "Who is it?"

Rei: "It is Rei Ayanami, I am the occupant of this apartment. Could you please open up?"

No response followed. Rei knocked again.

Parrot: "Who is it?"

Rei: "It is Rei Ayanami, I live in this apartment, please open up."

Parrot: "Who?"

Rei [confused]: "It is Rei Ayanami, the apartment's occupant, please open the door."

Again, Rei was met with no response, so again, she knocked on the door.

Parrot: "Who is it?"

Rei: "It-it is Rei Ayanami, I live here, please open the door."

Parrot: "Who?"

Rei: "It is Rei, please open up, I would like to come in."

Parrot: "Rei?"

Rei: "Yes, Rei, now please open-"

Parrot: "Rei's not here!"

For once, Rei was bewildered. She did a double-take from the side to the door and back, and for the first time ever in her life, scratched her head.

Rei: "No, I am Rei, I am I." [She then proceeded to knock on the door again.] "Now please open the door, i would like to come in."

Parrot: "Who is it?"

Rei [starting to raise her voice a bit]: "I have already told you, it is Rei Ayanami, I live in this apartment, now please open the door."

Parrot: "Who?"

Rei at that point then reached a personal stepping stone when contractions began to creep into her sentences.

Rei: "It's Rei, I live here, open the door."

Parrot: "Rei?"

Rei: "Yes, Rei!"

Parrot: "...Rei's not here!"

Rei, right then, became more than bewildered-she was now flabbergasted.

Rei: "No, I am Rei. Now please-" [She knocked on the door again.] "-Open the door and let me in!"

Parrot: "Who is it?"

Rei came to another personal first as she muttered frustratingly under her breath before she knocked on the door again, this time at a faster pace.

Rei: "Open up the door, it's Rei Ayanami, I live here!"

Parrot: "Who?"

Rei, in that instant, finally crossed the threshold from mildly annoyed to downright pissed.

Rei [banging on the door now]: "REI! R-E-I! Now will you open up the goddamn door-?!"

Parrot: "Rei?"

Rei [now very desperate]: "YES, REI!" *Pant* *Pant*

Parrot: "...Rei?"

Rei: "YES, REI. Now will you PLEASE open up the door?!"

Rei was again met with silence. It lasted for almost an entire minute before she finally heard the voice from behind the door.

Parrot: "...Rei's not here!"

Rei's eyes went wide briefly, before she turned around and gave herself a face-palm as she slumped against the door.



**Author's Note(s)**

Looks like I was true to my word, wasn't I? ;) See my previous one-shot "The Substitute Teacher" for context.