Harvey woke up dizzy. He groaned at himself, instantly regretting getting more drinks to be polite. His shirt was off, letting the cold air seep through the blanket and give him a chill throughout his body. He tugged on the bedspread to warm himself but felt some resistance. Assuming it was just caught on something, he pulled again. Only to his dismay, he heard a mumble. It was feminine and tender. But it was familiar. She turned over to face the ceiling and pushed himself up against the headboard and closed his eyes .He made a silent prayer to himself and opened them, looking to his left hesitantly. It didn't work. He blinked his eyes once, putting them into focus. He still couldn't believe them as it was almost impossible to think he could've done something so deviating. The worst part was that he didn't know which was worse; the fact that he'd slept a woman or the fact that he'd cheated on his lover. So he went with the one that made him less of an honest man.
She shuffled around for a second. He made an effort not to touch her, not to move her, afraid she'd wake up or scream. He bangs his head against the headboard once to think of an idea. He couldn't just pack up and leave. Unfortunately, Donna wakes up before he can decide. He nearly jumped out of bed thankful he'd left himself covered where it was needed. The time on the clock read 2:36.
"Donna... Donna, wake up-"
"I'm awake.." She said, her face towards the ceiling just as Harvey's was the moment before. Obviously, she had been awake for a while to fester up an understanding of the situation. "I think you should go to your room." She suggested although it didn't sound like she was asking. Harvey shook his head. There was no way he could get dismissed like that when it was him that tried to stay and clean it up the best he could. "No, I'm not leaving! We need to talk about this, please!" He asked, almost disgusted with her nonchalant reaction. Like she'd done it before. Donna got out of bed and began to tie up her hair with the tie on her wrist. All she wanted was time to think about what she'd done. Was that so selfish?
"Why are you like this?" He asked. Donna rolled her eyes.
"Like what, Harvey?"
"Like how you are right now! We've both just made what could be the biggest mistake of ou-"
Donna had enough. She cut him off and put a finger to his mouth. He pushes it away trying not to be too harsh. "You cheated on your boyfriend with a woman but me..." She thought. But there was nothing to say but something to completely demolish her dignity. But then she remembers who the conversation was with. "I got drunk and had sex." Harvey curled his hand into a fist. There was no way he heard what she said correctly. "Really. So there was nothing you could have done to prevent this? Or did you know what you were doing?"
"Well you're the one in a relationship Harvey, so how about you tell me?" Donna snapped, turning away to put her things on the bed. Taking full blame wasn't an option. She knew better than to get herself labeled again.
Harvey stood there, appalled. But she had a point. Only a terrible man could sleep with a woman while in a gay relationship. He began to put his clothes on. "Y'know Donna, I was in love with you for a very long time. Even when I first started seeing Mike. Every day I felt that for you he changed my mind without even knowing it." He paused, finished dressing. Harvey looked at Donna, whose body language expressed the feelings of one full of shame or regret. She wanted sympathy for him equally awful role in this affair. Harvey knew he was in the wrong but couldn't bare rewarding her that. "The point is that I was so honored to be his. Mike told me something to change my mind and now I have to tell him something to change his." He ended. Truthfully it didn't make her feel any better to milk it like that, But it was done."Mike... He was the only one."
There was nothing to say in retaliation. Donna fiddled with her fingers as Harvey opened the door. He told her she could take the car back to New York herself. She'd already tuned his voice out by then. The door swung shut swaying the cold wind across the room.
She could still feel the wind chill from the door swinging shut. She cursed under her breath and put her back against the wall next to the window. Instead, she decided to call someone. This time maybe she could stop it before it started. Donna rests her head against the blinds and lets the streetlights nearly blind her when she notices their car pulling out the light. Where ever Harvey was going, she didn't care. As long as he could be the one to return it and not an officer with bad news. As the phone rang she sniffled and felt like hanging up. Her head kept telling her to do it but still, it rang. There was no point in calling but what else was there. What would she say? She picked up. That caught Amanda off guard.
"Donna? It's early- what's wrong?" Said Beth Paulson, groggy because of the time.
"Mama... I gotta come home." She stuttered.
Donna only showed up and hour before Harvey to drop off things she had for the case. Rachel stopped her on the way out. "You think you can just come in and leave without saying "hi"?". She joked.
"I was kidding. You can fill me in tomorrow I can tell you're tired." She smiled, turning to walk away. Donna didn't care enough to correct her but decided to anyway.
"Actually, Harvey will be the one to fill you in." She clarified. Rachel raised an eyebrow. Concerned, she asked, "And why can't you do it?".
Donna thought of what to say. It was no longer her place to out the events from before, as she had no idea what Harvey would tell Mike. Then Rachel's phone pinged. She knew it was Mike and decided to just put it off until the day was over.
"Can I just come back later to... explain everything? I'm just a little homesick." She said.
"Did something happen between you two?" Rachel pried."I'll have to tell you later." She asserted.
Rachel nodded but before she walked away there was one more thing to be asked.
"Could it get out of hand? Whatever you're-"
"I'm leaving. Very soon- And please just wait until the end of the day to talk about this with me because you might have to speak with someone else first to understand." She admitted.
It made her head hurt just to think about how unpredictable everything had become. She could just play the sequence again and again in her head. But not for her– for them. Nobody could ever end up happy. It didn't matter who left, so it might as well be her.
Harvey's plan was to take a bus and then taxi. 15 minutes from where he'd catch a cab to his apartment, he got a call from Mike. He stopped in the middle of the aisle, forgetting where he was and got pushed into the seat beside him. Harvey apologizes and straightens himself up. When he answered he could hear Mike face light up just by his "hello". It made Harvey laugh and then tear up, already missing him. But he sucked it up in order to make Mike happy.
"Hi. I'm really close, I'll stop at the apartment before I see you there." He said.
"Good. Rachel said I should call you but I had an ulterior motive."
"Well It's nice to hear you too."Harvey chuckled. There was a pause but neither of them hung up.
"I'll leave you alone now. We'll probably get a chance to talk once the day ends. No suspect, more problems." He said.
"Yeah." Harvey sighed. "Bye."
A few hours later Harvey took a deep breath and opened the door to his apartment.. He could see Mike sitting on the couch, stressed about the hectic case. But once he went to close the door behind him, it shocked his finger. Harvey thought nothing of it until he felt it burn. He knew it was just in his head – disciplinary, maybe. Harvey felt he deserved to wince for his mistake.
Mike sighed. "I don't mean to interrogate you at home but Rachel kept bugging me about your trip," He said.
" What about it?" He asked. What could Rachel possibly have known.
"Well, Donna came in this morning and said she was leaving." Mike stood up and took Harvey's hands. "Perfect timing, really. I mean who would drop such a bomb on the squad in the middle of a case that's already in ruins?"
Mike laughed sarcastically when she noticed Harvey expression. The situation was beginning to blow up in his face, and Harvey truly didn't know what to do. He considered not saying a word. But looking into his eyes, holding his hand– made it the wrong decision."What's wrong?" He asked.
Harvey swallowed and squeezed Mike's was all about to end."Mike...You know you're my everything. But I made a mistake." He said.
Mike's face changed. At that moment she knew what Harvey had done. Whether it was the timing or that Harvey was so obviously trying to keep them physically close, he knew. It instantly made her sick.
"Did you sleep with her?" Mike asked. They both wanted the answer to be no. That wasn't the case. The question was rhetorical. But Harvey still nodded shamefully as their grip of each others hands loosened.
"I'm so... I'm so sorry. You know it meant nothing." Harvey tried to find one excuse. But it was even worse how he could just forgo his morals or way of life and do something so shamefully human.
"You know it wasn't just nothing. I mean you really must've tried to do this to me."
"No, it wasn't like that!" Harvey explained.
Mike pulled away and countered "Yes it was. You probably have no idea what this means for me or us."
Harvey tride reassure him. His heart dropped knowing he couldn't try and turn it around. "Yes- yes, I do and I'm sorry-"
"No, Specter, you don't. I knew it was a bad idea but you convinced me to disclose. Then you do this. And that can be the only reason because it's humiliating. I'm embarrassed!" He chided.
Harvey understood. Words couldn't describe how terrible he felt, so he nodded. He sits on the couch and covers his mouth with his hand in the attempt to spare Mike from his sob. There was no reason for Harvey to be crying. He did choke but managed to mumble
"I'll write it."Mike sighed. Maybe it was a better side of him that felt sympathetic.
Despite the painful tension between the firm, Harvey and Mike continued to work together. It made everyone wary how Mike took a significantly less amount of cases after the incident. Of course, nobody else knew more than what was in the email, but everyone had their suspicions. It stays this was for three months. For the next week or so after Mike's departure, Harvey feels incredibly guilty. Sure other things were going on in his life, but if only Harvey had been there to stop it. Yes, they were separated- but he really believed they would have been better together.
On his way out the door of his apartment, Harvey gets a call. He takes it out of his pocket and looks at the number. He raises an eyebrow to see that it's Donna– she'd been gone for two months. Harvey picks it up despite the sour way they'd left things. He knew there would be no good reason to call unless it was important.
Donna was once again surprised someone had picked up. She expected an answer snappier than "Hi" but that's what she heard. Nevertheless, the reason for the call had prevented her from entertaining the niceties. There was no plan for the conversation, just a script that ended after she hissed
"I assume you know what I'm calling about?", leaving her sister in the other room. It was private and quite frankly none of her business.
"No, I don't." He responded. Donna was stunned. Did he really not know this kind of thing about himself? It was beyond careless not to.
"Are you pregnant?" He asked. Donna shook her head and scoffed.
"Wow– no." She responded.
Harvey sighed in relief. "Then what is it?"
"I- I'm... I'm positive