(A/N: I do not own Adventure Time or any of its characters.)

(Hey guys, it's been forever since I updated. My apologies, but I thought I had given up on this fanfic long ago. Anyway, I'm back now, so I hope you enjoy this next chapter.)

I'm going to college; it's official now. Mom came bursting into my apartment yesterday, squealing with excitement as she handed me my acceptance letter.

With the fall semester starting in less than a week, She had me pack up all my essentials: pj's, sleeping bag, toothbrush, and an extra pair of clothes. Everything else I would need, she said we could buy on the Island. Overall, she was in a rush to get me ready. Not that I minded much, that's just Mom being a mom. What I do mind, however, is having to leave behind my sword. How is that not essential?

To make things more embarrassing for me, as is her tendency, she kept 'babbling' on and on about how proud of me she was—her baby boy, going to college. The word quickly spread, first, Jake, then BMO, and eventually PB and Marceline. The next thing I knew, all of my friends had shown up to the colony to see me off.

Oh well, at least I got in some final goodbyes before I'm gone all semesters. Glob, I'm gonna miss them all.

A boat trip and two hours later, I arrive at the Island, where Mother was already waiting.

I as soon I set foot off the boat, there was nonstop chatter. Chatter about college, chatter about shopping, chatter about housing…


That chatter has yet to stop.

"Now Finn, we mustn't dilly dally in the mall for too long." Mother proclaims as a Minerva bot pushes her monitor around in a shopping cart. "We have to meet up with your new advisor at one. With only four days before classes start, we'll be lucky to enroll you full time. After that, we'll head straight for the bookstore and purchase the curriculum cards you'll need. Then we'll head right over to housing. I've already contacted them, thankfully. They'll have the keys to your new dorm room. Today is as good as any day to move in. And-"

"Uh… Mom," I break in, "What are we you looking for in this mall, exactly?"

"Oh, my dear, you'll need lots of things throughout the semester. Things like a laptop, a calculator, a calendar, a notebook planner, and if I may be quite frank with you son, some new outfits." She states, looking over my apparel with fright.

"What's wrong with the blue shorts and shirt?" I defend.

We're talking about my style now.

"Absolutely nothing, unless you wear them every day. I mean, honestly darling, when's the last time you changed your clothes?"

Last week, but's that not important.

"Ok fine, but I get to pick them out!" I demand.

"Very well, dear. You'll find several stores around here that should suit your clothing needs. I'll pick up your school supplies to save us some time. When I'm finished, I'll give you a call to come find you. So make your phone is turned on and…"

"No prob, Mom!" I shout, already walking away from her to the nearest clothe's store. The sign above it reads, "Sauvey Sirs".

A rather silly name if you ask me. But hey, at least it's in the opposite direction of Mother. Don't get me wrong; I love her to death! However, there are times she smothers me to the point where I need space just to breathe.

Going into the store, I look down the main entryway and notice the check divides the store into the parts, the right being countless racks and shelves of suits, vests, dress pants, belts, and ties. All of them are looking to be quite expensive. The left side of the store offered products that have more to do with personal care. Such items included things like fancy underwear, socks, razors, and-Golb Almighty! An unholy amount of colognes.

"Eh," I mutter. Not seeing anything I'd be interested in wearing, "Perhaps I'll just hop over to another store."

But, just as I had one foot out the door, the reflection of a friendly face caught my eye.

Shannon, the bushy-browed, wolf-skin wearing, ghost-story-telling goofball, was staring at a peculiar brown bottle of cologne sitting at the display cases' bottom shelf.

I see this as the perfect time to get him back for teasing me at the beach. So, taking extra caution by flanking to the right side of the store, I carefully sneak my way behind his back.

"BA-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH!"I bellow right into his ear.

Startled, he instantly spins around with a chop coming for my throat. Luckily, my reflexes have not forgotten all the years I spent dungeon crawling, and I easily step back in time to dodge it.

"WOAH! Take it easy man! It's me, Finn!" I shout. This is definitely not the reaction I was expecting.

Shannon is wide-eyed, his muscles contracted, standing in a poised position that looks like he's ready to pounce at me. Just like… well, a wolf.

Once he gets a grip on the situation, however, his demeanor relaxes almost immediately. Completely shocked by his reaction, I stand there in silence.

Unfortunately, Shannon immediately picks up how spooked I am and breaks the silence.

"How ironic that sheep would sneak up on a wolf. But prey should know better than to try and scare a predator." Shannon smiles.

Oh please! Don't give this 'tough guy' bull junk.

"Dude, that was totally uncalled for!" I blurt out, throwing my arms up into the air, "Talking like your big stuff is one thing, but sending a quick strike to the neck to try and prove it just makes you a wad.

But Shannon looks unmoved. He simply slumps his shoulders back and sticks his hands in his pockets. "Honestly Finn, I'm sorry that I stroke out at you, but seriously Dude. Don't get me going like that; I thought for a second you might be Willie."

*Eyes roll*

"Anyways," I speak up, looking to start out with a normal greeting, "It's nice to see you again," I lift my hand to shake his, but Shannon stares at me, then smirks.

"Actually Finn, you might wanna save the handshaking business for when real adults are around. You can just bump my fist when it's me." He says, raising a fist to bump mine.

I grin at the gesture, as this is a social cue I do get because Jake and I would do it all the time. Shannon was officially greeting me as his bro.

"So, what's a dirty dog like you doing a classy shop like this?" I tease.

"Just stocking up on some 'Un feu brûlant'." He replies, pronouncing the weird name all too casually.

"You hurt your what?"

Shannon burst out laughing, "'Un feu brulant', its French for 'a burning fire' and is the cologne wear around campus."

"So, the scent of burning fire, huh? Like smoke and ash? Shannon, I think you might want to rethink your choice of man perfume." I jest.

But Shannon's face only grows more serious, "Finn, you don't get it! We're not talking about the smell of literal fire; we're talking about a scent so eloquent, yet audacious that it gives the ladies a flamin' hot vibe if you know what mean." He waggles his eyebrows as he nudges my right arm with his elbow.

Now I'm the one laughing. "Dude, there ain't a cologne in the world that will help your lost cause."

Shannon turns his chin at me, then picks up the brown bottle and proceeds to the checkout, "Just you wait and see, just a couple squirts of my magic elixir and the ladies will come flying towards me like moths to a flame."

I follow along his side. "Well, if that's the case, then they better watch out! They might get scorched by your charming chops to the throat."

Shannon gives me a devilish grin in reply to my jab at him. This is the kind of smack talk he had been dishing out to me earlier and had been receiving it in full return. Although I'm probably overdoing it and shouldn't be giving him such a hard time, Shannon seems to enjoy this crude humor we dish out at each other. And if I'm honest with myself, I kinda do as well.

"So, now that you know my precious secret, I can't have you blabbing your mouth every guy on campus. If word gets out, there won't be enough of my cologne to go around. It looks like I'll just have to keep a close eye on you. So Finn, whatcha shoppin' for?"

"Well, I was supposed to be clothes shopping. Since my Mom's been getting on to me about my style. She thinks I wear the same clothes too much." I explain.

"Well, that explains the musty smell that always hangs around." Shannon quips, "Seriously, you sure don't want to try on some cologne? Smelling like a decent human being goes a long way with the ladies."

"Hard pass on the cologne, but I would appreciate it if you would point me to a store where normal college students shop."

"No worries, dog!" Shannon exclaims, "This tail-wagger puts the "S" in swagger." He sang.

Oh, brother…

"Dude, all I'm saying is, if you wanna spare right from the get-go, you gotta buy ALL the protective equipment. Because if you think my karate chop was killer, wait until you step onto the mat with our team leader, Randy. If you start acting a big shot, he'll take a cheap shot at you with no hesitation." Shannon clarifies.

"Still, they gotta be uncomfortable to wear," I protest, picking through my set of new sparring gloves, boots, helmet, shin guards, and… nose guard? I'm not quite sure about this last piece. But Shannon says it provides the most protection of them all, so I took his word for it.

Of course, karate equipment wasn't the only thing we went shopping for. Shannon did manage to bring me to a couple of clothes stores where he introduced me to jeans, hoodies, and some pairs of shoes called 'sneakers'.

"A little basic," Shannon claimed. Nonetheless, he said I fit right in on campus.

At last, we're standing by a soda machine, where we bought a couple of energy drink's called "Bottle o' Bezerk". A college-wide favorite, so I'm told.

Despite being forced to go on a 'back to school' shopping trip, it turned out to be a pretty fun day. At least until…




It's all happening at once.

An ominous voice calls out for me; it sends shivers down my spine. I turn around and see that her face is full of both dread and relief at the same time. Shannon then freaks out and instantly spews his energy drink onto me, then proceeds to smack mine out of my hand.

"DUDE WHAT THE HE-mmhmmhmm." Shannon shoots his hand to cover my mouth.

"M-Miss Minerva! What a pleasure it is to see you again. I-I was just… uh, demonstrating to Finn hear that energy drinks are not only terrible for your health but also taste terrible too." Shannon stutters.

"Indeed," Mother nods in agreement, although she was taken back by his reaction.

Shannon then proceeds to check his phone, "My goodness, would you look at the time. Well, it's been quite pleasant; unfortunately, I got to run."

And just like that, Shannon blew away like a fart in the wind.

Oh, so now you're scared bro?

I mean, granted, Mom's practically the police force of this island. But as far as I understand, we weren't doing anything wrong. At least that's what I thought. Taking one look at her face, I cringe as I prepare for an earful.

"Finn," Mother reproaches, "I tried calling you three times already, but you wouldn't answer. Now we're going to be late for the meeting with your advisor, Professor Holmes."

Three missed calls? Ah, cru-OWW!

Mother's robotic claws form a death grip on my ear.

"Although I'm glad to see you are making new friends, dear, I find neglecting to communicate inexcusable," She scolded, pulling me along to the mall's exit door. "Do you know how worried I was about? What was I to think! Some stragglers could have kidnaped off you for all I know. Oh, I'm just thankful your not hurt!" She grieves, giving my ear a good jerk in the process.

The searing pain radiating from my left ear lobe is all I can think about for the moment. But then something catches my eye, in Mom's left hand are two plastic bags. One is tearing at the seams with my school supplies, like note pads, pencils, a calendar, etc. The other, however, has nothing in it except for a very fancy necktie—a necktie with black and red spirals running down the length of it.


I thought we had agreed earlier that I'd pick out my school outfits. Unless…

"Hey Mom," I try looking up to face her, but she just yanks my head back down.

"All apologies must wait for your professor, dear, for making him wait on us." Mother reprimands.

"AHHH! Ok Ok! But Mom! Whose the tie for? I blurt out.

Mother stops dead in her tracks. She lets go of my ear, and a bright red blush covers her face.

"Oh, uh… no dear. It's for… another friend." Is all Mother manages to get out.

"Well, who is he?" I return the question immediately.

But she remains silent. She's too flustered even to talk. Apparently, though, her Minerva bot can still move perfectly fine. Although she doesn't grab my ear, Mother continues to push me out the mall door.

"Another time, Finn, we must hurry to university immediately if we are ever to get you enrolled for next semester." Mother replies, looking straight ahead and avoiding my gaze.

Obviously, this guy is more than just a friend.

"Minerva! You're late! That's unlike your very punctual self. Encounter any trouble on the way over here?" Professor Holmes questions, surprised to see us come running into his office.

"Oh, nothing of the sort. My son here just got a little carried away at the mall." She stated flatly, pushing me forward.

"Yeah, my bad…" I mutter, but then I feel a cold, mechanical heel crush my toes. "AYE! I mean… My deepest apologies, sir, I didn't mean to waste your valuable ti-HIME! I just ran into Shannon at the mall, that's all."

"Ah, I see, Mr. Shmidt's boy. A good student at the College of Technology and quite the entertainer. No doubt, his charismatic personality was the cause of your delay. But no matter! Let us get right down to business." Professor Holmes points towards the seats in front of his desk.

Mother happily obliges.

Taking our seats, I take a good look at Professor Holmes's outfit. He's wearing a white long-sleeve shirt with a dark blue sweater vest, black dress pants, and a black belt. It's clearly formal enough but has the wrong primary color to be 'the guy'.

"Well, no doubt Shannon has made quite the impression on you, Finn. How would you like to join him for History 101 this semester? If I recall correctly, you were especially interested in the Island's history, and it's a required elective anyway." He suggests.

"Sounds great!" I reply.

"Great, I'll put down for eight to nine-thirty AM on Mondays and Wednesdays."

"Err… 8 am?"

"Is that a problem?" Professor Inquires?

"Not at all," Mother interrupts, staring me down like a hawk. "I presume you already have him scheduled to take the other general education requirements and just need our approval?" She looks back to the professor.

"Yes indeed, including the class I just enrolled him in, I have Finn down English 101, Algebra 130, and Speech 101. A total of twelve credit hours. That's full time, but still fairly light for his first semester. Unless you'd like to do more?" He asks me directly.

"Twelve sounds good to me, Mom. Shall we call it good?" I reply, trying to push for an easy semester.

"Nonsense dear, tuition is at a flat rate here. The more credit hours, the better. I recommend you take an additional class."

'Recommend' my behind. It's not like I can say no.

"Well, Professor Holmes, what else you got?" I inquire.

"Let's see… all other gen' ed' classes are closed. However, I do have two electives for you to choose from, Physical Science or Psychology."

As expected, Mother beams up at the mention of a science class. But, as I've learned many times from Princess Bubblegum, science is not my strong suit.

"Hard pass on Physical Science, but what's Psychology?" I interject before Mother does.

"Psychology is the scientific study of the human mind and its functions. It deals mostly with studying our behavior as humans. There's an opening for an eleven to twelve-thirty PM on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I think it would be a terrific class for you, considering your upbringing off of the Island." Professor Holmes advises.

"I'm sold." I hastily reply.

"Superb!" Mother replies, seemingly convinced as well.

"Excellent! I'll have the rest of your scheduled printed out and send you on your to housing." Professor Holmes exclaims.

Once we exit the professor's office, Mother walks me over to the student center, where we get the keys to my new dorm, room three o' three, at apartment building C.

When we arrive, Mother and I notice that my new roommate has already moved in. His belongings were messily strung-out throughout the floor. Although he was no were in sight.

Oh well, no biggie. We simply scooch his things to his side of the room and get straight to unpacking all my stuff and settle in. Mother leaves me an allowance to buy groceries and eat out. Then, wishing me well and hugging me goodbye. She heads for the door to go.

That's when my roommate came in—a skinny blonde who smelled really funny and had reddened eyes.

"This is an outrage!" Mother yelled at the head of the housing department, "I demand campus police inspect every dorm room on this campus before the start of the semester."

"Miss Minerva! I assure you, the boy will be justly expelled from Founder's Island University, but I simply will not treat every student like they're suspect of being a criminal." A poor lady wearing a beaver hat tried calming her down.

But Mother wasn't having any of it.

"Well then, let's just what the president of the university thinks when I tell him the housing department is inviting illegal substances to walk right onto campus grounds."

"Go right ahead! I know the president would agree with-"


Mother shut the door midsentence. She didn't hesitate to storm right out of her office and start marching right up the chain of command.

"Mom, please! Tell me what's going on! What was wrong with my roommate?" I beg her.

Being so enraged by the whole incident, she hasn't heard a single one of my pleas tell me what the heck is going on. Fortunately, after a few moments of silence, she turns to me and responds.

"Darling," She holds both her hands out to me, and I grab hold of them, "Remember what I said back when first arrived at the Island for your tour, about being ok with your reckless behavior?"

"Yeah?" I feel her grip tighten.

"Well, what I meant was, I know you're a good boy. In that, you would never willingly hurt yourself for selfish reasons. Sure, you get in a scramble with your heroics, where you risk a bump, a bruise, or even your very life for the sake of others. But that's because you're a helper, a good doer, one who's willing to do what's right even if it's dangerous. But…" Mother pauses.

"But what?" I ask. Her eyes start to form tears.

"There's another type of reckless behavior—one with not so noble motives. Behavior in which people think only of themselves. A recklessness where people do what they want, regardless of how it affects others. Regardless of how it may even affect themselves. It's rather a self-destructive behavior, Finn. Something I don't want to happen to you."

"Ok… but how does this relate to my ex-roommate?" I question.

"Your former roommate wanted to abuse a substance that's banned here on the Island because he thinks it will make him happy. But that substance causes several long-term side effects that are detrimental to human health and can be addictive, hence banning the substance. Not to mention the heartbreak it causes his family." Mother explains, bursting with tears.

"Oh Glob! Mom, I would never…"

"Oh but Finn, that's what I'm trying to warn you about. The way you are now, I know you would never. But while you're at college Finn, as you grow up to be an adult, there will be selfish people in life who will try to convince you to do selfish things, and you'll just have to make the right choices on your own. Can you promise me that, Finn? That you'll stay a good boy and use your judgment to make the right choices?" She pleas.

"I promise."

(Well, there you have it. Don't do drugs kids! Also, just to give you a heads up on where I am on content, I might need to change the rating to M, considering the more serious references I've been making.)

(Also, I should mention that I had a new idea about Minerva's character. I'm giving her a new love interest! Granted, Finn's Dad is still somewhere drifting among the cosmos in the canon of Adventure time. However, in the next few chapters, I plan of explaining how Minerva feels about this. Till next time!)