Part 2

Two weeks since the miscarriage. Two weeks that she's been hiding the secret that there is not a baby growing inside her anymore; that all there is now is a hollow ache inside her. She was going to tell Rex, but in the end she thought better of it; thought that she had lost enough, why lose absolutely everything? Even if her world is built on lies, deceptions and ugliness, it's still her world.

An idea materializes in her mind as she watches Schuyler watching Gigi longingly across the bar in Rodi's. He has it so bad. But he doesn't know that he wasn't going to win Gigi; that he couldn't.

She knows she can play on that.

She asks him in her politest voice to take her home; she has a headache. So much more aches, she's screams inside, but she is sure Schuyler is long past caring about her. Still, he wants Gigi; he can't have her, so Stacy will have to use that to her advantage.

Schuyler looks at her suspiciously, asks what she's up to and she says nothing. But really she is up to something – always. This time though her mind is clouded with thoughts of having Rex at any cost and drowning out the sound of the screaming emptiness inside her womb.

Schuyler nods, reluctantly, and she leads him back to Rex's apartment, knowing Rex is working all day and night to be away from her and yet she can't let the idea that she is unwanted, unneeded, and unloved by him or anyone, intrude on her plans.

She decides the best course of action is to get Schuyler rip-roaring drunk. That's the only way she thinks he will have her now because he's in love with her gorgeous, perfect sister, Gigi, who everyone loves. She is jealous of Gigi all over again, but for a brief moment this time, she's jealous because Gigi has the undivided devotion of Schuyler when that devotion used to be Stacy's to use and abuse.

She shakes her head and goes about her business. He wants to leave; she won't let him. Fairly commands him to stay and take care of her the way he used to. And she does admit to herself that she misses it, misses the way his eyes used to light up just for her when now they are always hooded with annoyance.

Still he stays. She pours. He drinks. Before long history is repeating itself and he's there cuddled up next to her, holding her hand and looking at her with desire in his eyes. He pulls her into his lap lightly and begins to kiss her and she enjoys it in spite of herself. When Schuyler kisses her there is no resistance, no hesitancy, not like with Rex.

Then Schuyler murmurs in her ear, "I've missed you, Stace, I've really missed you." She tries to let him finish ravishing her but she can't. She just sits there like a hard lump on his lap and doesn't move. He's missed her. He maybe still loves her. She wants to be loved but she knows she doesn't deserve it and that she will fuck it up just like she always does. So she clings to the impossible dream of having Rex, forcing him to want her though at this point she is not sure why she wants him so bad anyway.

"What's wrong?" Schuyler asks, his hand untangling from her thick, wavy hair, his other one dropping from the fourth button on her blouse.

"It's nothing; it's ... everything. Its … you. I don't – I don't … want you."

His face crumples, his eyes take on that familiar sadness only she can seem to put there. She can't look into the blue depths of misery so she doesn't. Just straightens her shirt and barks at him to get out; just get the hell out.

He does, he leaves, and all she wants to do is call him to come back but it's too late now.