She thinks about calling him. Long after he's gone, she can still feel his presence hovering there; feel his hatred and bitterness and sadness and humiliation – all at her hands – sitting there heavily beside her on the sofa.
When it's enough to drive her completely stark-raving mad, she decides to go out. Just get the hell out of this small, confining, cloying little apartment.
She leaves on foot, walks around town, quietly mulling over everything in her hazy, clouded brain. The only thing that is clear is that she has hurt Schuyler yet again, and she doesn't feel good about it. She feels sick, really, really sick at the thought that she had a chance to make things right and she chose not to. She tries to reasons with herself; tries to tell herself she was saving him. Saving him from all the ugliness and frustration and heartache that went along with loving someone as screwed up as her.
She reaches Angel's Square and sees him there, sitting on the bench, half-hunched over looking miserable and green from too much alcohol. She starts to turn around and leave but he sees her. "Are you following me?" he snaps.
"No," she snaps back. "Why the hell would I want to do something like that?"
"Why the hell would you want anything to do with me period?" he shouts. "You don't want me. You practically lure me back to Rex's apartment and get me all … hot and bothered, dammit, yes I said that! … And then you say you don't want me. Are you even fucking human? Do you have a soul anymore, Stacy, or do you just delight in making everyone feel like shit on the sidewalk?"
"I don't have to listen to this!" she says and starts to walk away.
He grabs her by the arm. "Oh hell yes, you do! You have to listen to every damn word I have to say."
"I do not," she says wrenching away from him. "Don't you get it, Schuyler? I don't want you, I was using you so I could have another baby and –" The words are out then. Like so much in her life; she can't take it back.
"What did you say?" He squints at her in the dim light. "You were faking the pregnancy all along weren't you?"
"No!" she screams at him. "I was pregnant. Rex sat in on the damn test remember?"
"You could have paid off the doctor –"
"Now you're just talking crazy."
"Oh please, Stacy. That's rich coming from you."
"Oh shut the hell up and get away from me."
She tries to pull away one more time but his hand is like a hot vice on her arm. "You're not going anywhere. Not until you tell me what you were planning tonight and why if you wanted a baby so bad – presumably to pass off as Rex's – you didn't go through with it. Why you didn't let me make love to you …"
"Don't you get it, you dummy?" She shouts. "I was saving you. Saving you from me, from all the hell I keep dishing out to you. If I didn't give a damn, I would have let you fuck me five ways from Sunday, but I stopped because of you. Because I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I already have."
To her shock and anger, he just laughs. "Stacy, it's a little late in the game to suddenly pretend to have a heart."
"Believe what you want to believe," she spits at him. "Maybe you're right. You think you know everything. You probably think I was bored and wanted to jerk you around some more so I lured you back to the apartment just to get you 'hot and bothered' and then tell you I didn't want you. Well, you know what. Believe what you want because right now I hate you. I hate the sight of you." Her bottom lip trembled dangerously. "But dammit, I don't want you to leave either."
He turns back to look at her. Sees the tears in her eyes, must recognize her fear and self-loathing coming out again and he nods, pulls her into his arms and she starts to fight him, pound his chest, demanding him to let her go when all she really wants is for him to hold her and never let her go.
"Dammit, Sky, why do you have to be so fucking good to me?" She cries as she crumples in his arms.
"Because I care, damn you. I hate admitting it as much as you do, but I care and I fucking have told myself over and over that its stupid, that no good can come from it but I can't stop the way I feel though every instinct tells me –no screams at me – to hate you, to turn my back on you after all the shit you've pulled. But I can't. I can't because I love you. I have since day one and I always, always will …"
"I wish I could believe that …"
"What the fuck more do you want, Stacy?" he growls into her hair. "A Good Year blimp going by with the words, 'I love Stacy Morasco' on it? You've taken everything from me, goddamn you, and I should hate you, but I can't. I really can't." She hears tears in his voice, looks up and sees them on his face. Realizes she has driven him to this, that she has stomped on his heart time and time again and she's disgusted with herself. Thoroughly and utterly disgusted.
"Sky, I don't want to be like this anymore," She says. "Help me. Please help me …"
He nods. "I will. I will. If you haven't driven me away yet, you're not going to now."
***Oddly enough, I am suddenly thinking about adding a 4th part where Stacy comes clean about the miscarriage to Rex. Should I?***