A/N Most of the spelling and grammar mistakes are intentional. Also, this is my first time writing for this fandom so even though it's crack, I hope none of the characters are too OOC
Arthur: So this is "texting"
Merlin: Gah! How do you turn that "alert" sound down?
Arthur: There were volume instructions in the setup, Merlin.
Merlin: And how closely did YOU read those?
Arthur: Just go to the settings and see what it says there
Merlin: I don't think you remember either!
Arthur: Shut up Merlin!
Merlin: Apparently you just push a button on the side. It's not too hard
Merlin: Hey, you can customize your txt alert and ringtone
Arthur: Because that is SO useful
Merlin: I can think of a few ways it can be useful
Arthur: You're an idiot
...a few hours later…
Arthur: It was you wasn't it?
Merlin: It was me what
Arthur: It was you the snuck onto my phone and changed my ringtone
Merlin: I have no idea what your talking about.
Arthur: So you're saying you didn't do it
Merlin: I didn't do it
Arthur: I think you're lying
Merlin: Why would you think that?
Arthur: How many other people would change my ringtone to toads and text alert to a donkey?
Merlin: Honestly I can't believe it took yyou this long to notice
Arthur: Well you can laugh while mucking out my stables
Arthur: I think a goose got in the castle
Arthur: I hear a goose honking
Merlin: ...I may have changed ssome of the knights' sounds too
Merlin:...All of them
Percival: I think I left my waterskin in the liver yesterday
Elyan: Even when you corrected it you couldn't get it right!
Percival: Autocorrect does weird things. it's easier to make mistakes than you might think.
Elyan: Everyone else needs to see this. I'm taking a skreem hot
Percival: Do you mean screenshot?
Merlin: Arthur and the knights wanted to get back at me for changing their ringtones so they changed all my contacts. Who's this?
Merlin: Thanks. My phone says you're name is QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
Gwen: You've had these cell phones for less than a day and already you guys are are doing things like this
Merlin: What does that mean?
Gwen: That I really should be surprised
Merlin: I'm surprised what terrible nicknames the knights all came up with. The best one is Arthur being changed to Princess by I assume Gwaine.
Gwen: I doubt Arthur knew about that one
Merlin: I have some better ones in mind. You'll see.
Gwaine: So you know how Men can make pates fly
Arthur: Are you drunk right now?
Gwaine: Not drunk. Just thinkin
Arthur: It's almost midnight
Gwaine: Merlin makes plates fly.
Gwaine: Percival says he can't
Arthur: I agree with Parcival then
Gwaine: But I've seen him do it. I've seen him make plates fly
Gwaine: And I think some sorceress did too. Who was the one with the poison?
Gwaine: Not her. Maybe that part is just my imagination
Arthur: The whole thing is your imagination Gawain
Gwaine: Nope! I'm certain Myrddin makes plates fly
Arthur: Did you really just spell Merlin as Myrddin!?
Gwaine: And that's the first name you've spelled right this entire conversation.
Arthur's phone-Group chat, Knights of the Round Table
Arthur: How the heck did he manage to change all the contacts on ALL of our phones before anyone noticed?
Apple Pie: I'm assuming that was Arthur, because my phone says "The Once and Future Prat"
The Holy Hand-grenade: Mine says The Once and Future Clotpole
Arthur: Would Apple Pie and Holy Hand grenade mind telling me who they are?
Apple Pie: Gwaine
The Holy Hand-grenade: What even is a hand-grenade? Anyway, I'm Percival
I'm Not Dead: Now for me they came up as Tavern (K)Night and The Knight Who Says Nee. And I have The Once and Future Dollophead.
Arthur: And who's this?
I'm Not Dead: Sir Leon
Constantinople: Not only did he change everyone's contacts, but he changed them to different things for everyone?
Apple Pie: It would appear so.
Constantinople: I'm Elyan, by the way.
The Holy Hand-grenade: It looks like the only consistent nam is Arthur's
Constantinople: Yeah, mine says "The Once and Future ass"
Arthur: Why do they all start with "The Once and Future"
I'm Not Dead: I don't know. I can't see what that has to do with King Arthur. It doesn't make sense.
Apple Pie: And "Sir Dinadan in a Dress" doesn't make sense at first glance, either. So there must be some rhyme or reason to it.
Constantinople: I didn't need you to tell me who Monsieur Meade was either.
The Holy Hand-grenade: Now, for me, Gwaine says "The Headless Green Knight"
Arthur: Soon Merlin is going to be a headless green idiot!
Emrys the Protector of The Once and Future King: Come on. The name I picked is way better
I'm Not Dead: Who let Merlin in the group chat?
I'm Not Dead: Sorry, who let "Emrys the Wise and Powerful" in that the chat
The Holy Hand-grenade: Mine says "The Last Dragonlord"
Constantinople: Mine says "Myrddin Ambrosius" I don't understand that either
Apple Pie: Mine says "Emrys the Immortal"
Emrys the Protector of The Once and Future King: You know this is the strangest conversation I've ever read
Constantinople: More like most confusing
Emrys the Protector of The Once and Future King: That's what everyone I sent the screenshots to said.
Emrys the Protector of The Once and Future King: After they said how funny it was.
Arthur: Who did you send this to?
Emrys the Protector of The Once and Future King: Gwen, my mother, and Gaius. Why?
Emrys the Protector of The Once and Future King: Yeah?
Arthur: You're an idiot
A/N If you google Arthur's name misspellings, they're actually alternate spellings from the legends. Also, most of Merlin's nicknames for everyone are either references to Arthurian Legend or to Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail. If you haven't see that movie, watch it; it's on Netflix and it's hilarious!