Okay, I've been getting a few questions, some here on the story and a few others in PMs. So I think it is best if I interact with you guys and gals and set things straight. Before I get to that, always remember this; reviewing or just commenting saying you like my story means a lot to me. And as many other Authors have said before, reviews, commenting, or messaging are my drive to continue my work. So do that if you really want to see me continue. Anyhow, back to answering your questions!
Rating Change Status? - I might change it, might not. Really depends on how I go on with this story length wise. But for now this story is rated T. Alright, that means no graphic scenes. Suggestion, hints, and mentions are a go. You should know that I'm not writing those kinds of detailed scenes for this story, even if it's humorous Private Messenger 1.
Sebas X Tuare? - I will say that this is confirmed in future events Guest 2.
Ainz X Zesshi? - NO. We have enough crazy battle maniacs Guest 2.
Mare X Zesshi? - Complicated, not quite there yet. Mare is in a relationship with Zesshi, but more as of new friends since he is definitely not at that age yet. At least at this point in the timeline Guest 2.
Ainz X Aura - Do you know she is just a child Ap0stl30fA1NZ?! Ha-ha I kid, I kid. I get it, I know what you mean. When she is 200 you say? Hm-hum-hun? To be honest, the story will not have that situation arise. I plan for Aethernos and Apocalypsis to grow and be playmates with the crossdressing elf twins.
Ainz X Demiurge? - First off, I'm not against gays, but why is this even being asked? Seriously? Demiurge is not a romance guy, how can you actually expect me to tackle such a hurdle? Oh and if you're gonna write such a long comedic plea begging for that to be in this story, do it in the Review so others can enjoy a laugh. Go and commission someone else or write that crack fic yourself you Troll. You know who you are. ;)
Uncle Cocytus? - Yes, there will be a chapter dedicated to an Uncle Cocytus adventure Private Messenger 1.
The next generation of players? - Not the focus of this story, but a possibility for the long future Guest 2.
Dragon Lords? - A lore of spoilers. Nothing else to say. But I like the creative ideas you got there. Thanks for being such an enthusiastic guy about my story Guest 2. Your comment made my day! :) Go make an account and message me if you want to send me more of your thoughts.
The two child's genders? - Aethernos Ooal Gown is male, Apocalypsis Bloodfallen is female. I thought it was obvious, stupid me, sorry for not clearing that up Ap0stl30fA1NZ!
Will it continue? - Yes, the story will continue. Also Michael Corven, I'm not going into details about that. (That means use your imagination!)
All right, that's about it. Now, enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 2: Brewing Months Part 1
Ainz Ooal Gown, he himself had seen better days.
It has been a bit over two months since the pleasurable and from his perspective, horrific events of the Grand Wish played out. As time drags on, more of the Skeleton's time was drawn from the important bureaucratic paperwork to tending to his ever needing wives… And that left him with absolutely no time to himself.
*Big 5% speed low-pitched Oof*
"Why, Peroroncino, WHY?!" Ainz internally cried out, still traumatized from last week's date that involved visiting Shalltear's room.
"How did he manage to compact so much pleasure and torture devices in one bedroom?! Everything was made out of leather, all of it stained! *Shudders* How was he not banned back then for creating that mess?!"
A flair of green suppressed him. Instinctively knowing about his maid's worrying, without even looking, he waved his skeletal hand calmingly towards a worried Decrement who was serving as his maid for the day.
"Ugh. Man, I'll say it again, I really have opened the floodgates with those two. I don't regret my actions, since there's no turning back now…"
Speaking of the two, Ainz was surprised as they had gotten along much better now. He hadn't heard or seen a mention of at least one fight or conflict this last 4 weeks. Or at least from what he had seen or heard, though not that the NCPs ever told him of their problems. Ainz's is not stupid nor is he a fool, he knows the guardians debate and discuss regularly about his 'grand plans' when he's not around.
With a shake of his head, the Overlord turned back to his paperwork and continued to work on. He read and reviewed each paper, signing or declining documents. Though if Ainz was honest with himself, most (95%) of the time he signed them. Thankfully this is because he had such wonderful subordinates. Also the fact that people who generated profits came from the labor of undead, never tiring workforce. Many times though Ainz feared that if he rejected the document, he would have more paperwork to finish the next day or get the denizens to believe that they failed him somehow.
"Man, being at the top of the command chain while caring for nearly every subordinate is one hell of a nightmare headache! No wonder my human bosses never gave a damn and I don't think they could mentally survive if they had worked like I do. Though that's giving them too much credit, they were the best at being the worst for their employees."
A double knock interrupted his thoughts and automatically answered "Enter" while setting his pen down. Surprisingly the one who came in was Tsuare, meek as usual but still held herself proud and thankful. As a maid, she was always a nice change of pace from Nazarick's Maids and she is a company that he greatly enjoyed.
"Tsuare, what a pleasant surprise… Is there something wrong?" Ainz immediately noted the very worried and trembling look on her face.
"My Lord, we have… An, err… Problem."
"What seems to be the matter? Do not worry, I never intend to harm the messenger of bad news." Ainz said as kind yet regal as he could, remembering a certain book saying to never harm the bringer of news, no matter how bad the news may be.
"Your wives are… Having trouble with each other and... Making-a-big-mess-in-the-cafeteria." She squeaked out. Death let out a long and tired sigh.
"I see, so the staff requires my intervention. I'll see to it fixing this issue. Come Tsuare, Decrement." Ainz led out with Tsuare and Decrement following closely behind him. Pacing down the luxurious and sacred hallways of the Supreme Bring's rooms and quickly arriving at the 9th floor's cafeteria. When they entered the large open room, The Overlord of Death was not ready for what he saw. In fact, his undead conscience stopped working for a good 10 seconds to process what was before him.
"What… What the hell? What the hell guys?!"
The cafeteria was an absolute mess. Around the room there were tables flipped, dishes smashed, utensils scattered with half eaten food smeared all over the floor. In the epicenter of this food gouging mess were his two world beauties known as the Floor Guardians, Albedo and Shalltear. They were gluttonously eating and fighting over the mess of disgusting foods.
All the meals on the table were made of odd combinations ranging from fried cockatrice covered in a sauce of Golden Apples of Edan, to large donuts filled with Dragon Blood ice cream and topped with devil ghost peppers. They even ranged to even more disgusting mixtures such as a large drink of sea water salted, suggered, mixed with blended dragon spice and sour lemon wine.
Yet what really got Ainz's concerning attention was the amount of rare and high tier consumables that were spilled and wasted in this mess. This was not just food gouging on another level, it was a great waste of magical and special gacha consumables!
"What in OBLIVION are you two doing!?"
The roar of their Supreme Being halted all movement, even the kittenchen staff froze in terror. Both Shalltear and Albedo reeling back in shock at his outburst, and immediately went bowing before the Overlord of Death.
"My Lord Ainz!" They exclaimed, the two Floor Guardians embarrassed and still covered in food mess. Taking another long moment to observe the catastrophe, Ainz Ooal Gown let out a long sigh as his eyes dimmed greatly in disappointment.
"Please explain why and what the hell you two were doing?"
"Let me get this straight, so I can understand this mess and madness you two have caused. You two went to the library and read up on books about pregnancy and came upon the section about common habits. The two of you argued with each other and then came upon the book's 'guideline rules'. The one that stuck out to you two was the rule that those who are bearing children will crave odd and strange combinations of foods…"
"Yes Lord Ainz." Albedo responded seriously.
"So you two immediately panicked that you weren't acting right for your unborn child and went straight to Sous-Chef." The undead king deadpanned. "Then you began tasting and eating the first things that came to mind…" Shalltear hummed a note in response.
"And then dare I ask what transpired next?" Ainz's question hung in the air with his oppressive aura. Shalltear took the initiative and said.
"Well, I realized that the food choices that I was eating wasn't odd or strange so I-"
"Actually you rotting brain, I corrected you on your choices and spoke the truth about your pitiful intelligence, you went mad and began ordering large dishes of food." Albedo claimed. Shalltear huffed angrily and retorted with.
"Why you-! You just got jealous that I was eating better and more than you were!"
"NANI? N-no! NO I did not!"
"Then Lord Ainz, this greedy chubby gorilla began calling out even bigger orders of food and drinks than I had!" Shalltear said with an all grinning smile.
"Brainless flat chested lamprey! Do you not remember that you were taking from my plate and eating my food ravegely! You can't even make the difference of what is obviously your and what is mine!" Albedo claimed, letting out a shocking gasp.
"Wait what!? That's not true! You crazy horned bimbo, you striked and threw food at me first!" Shalltear accused.
"Empty airhead as always, not even remembering that you spilled my drink with your grabby and careless dead hands! Your slobbering mouth spit blood all over my food too!"
"Shut up you hairy big mouthed virgin! You got your mange hair in my blood soup! And you kept throwing food and taking it from me!"
The two bickering females continued to go at it, yabbering and insulting each other in endlessly creative and aggressive ways. Ainz raised his long skeletal hand to his face, clasping his nose ridge with his eyes dimming considerably. Sighing, the Guild Leader takes another look around the cafeteria, ignoring the fighting of his two pregnant wives.
Their fingernails drawn out like talons, fighting stances ready to brawl, and maddening rage in each other's eyes. The two looked ready to fight to the death and were about to if it weren't for the abrupt laughter of their master.
"L-lord Ainz! Are you alright?" Both stuttered in surprise, losing their aura of vengeance for one of concern for the one they love the most. His deep and genuine laughter continued on for a bit more before fading.
"Have we failed you my lord?" Albedo asks, pleadingly hoping what she said was not to be the case. Tho Overlord sighed loudly, his voice hinting that he was smiling.
"Albedo, Shalltear, know well that I love you two and always will. I care for all of that is Nazarick and love all who are a part of it. Do not worry, these events merely bring me glorious memories of my comrades' many misadventures." His words were full of love and distant friendship dragging with longing. The two Guardians gave relieved sighs and looked at each other, trying to see if the other knew what their Supreme Being was referring too.
"Albedo, I know that Tabula would be frantically recording these events to show and laugh with the rest of the Guildmates. And Shalltear, Peroroncino would be very proud of the chaos you and Albedo have caused today!" Ainz spoke heartily with a few more joyful laughs. Tears began forming in joy at his kind words.
"Now, since both of you are obviously at fault here, the two of you will clean up this mess. And when I say clean, I mean that you two, only you two will wash and scrub the cafeteria back to being spotless. Understood?" Both the World beauty's faces harden with serious focus on atoning their punishment.
"Yes Lord Ainz!"
"Good. And don't waste any more of our precious consumibles again."