Pat. Re. On./CrowProduction - 02/02/2022

As I finish up my bowl of cereal while lazing about on the couch, I gaze at the weird card that lies in front of me. It would seem like a typical credit card, but something is obviously off about it. For the start, it has no expiration date, card number, or even cvs. It's not even addressed to anyone! It simply has a Pink Diamond picture on the front and a helpline phone number on the back. Hm, now that I think about it, there's nothing typical about that is there?

Anyway, swiping still works on it. And it also has a chip. At first I was a bit skeptical, but a quick stop to pick up some donuts assuaged my feelings. I asked the Gems how I would order something online, and they gave me this. Of course after a stern talking to, mostly about not losing it or abusing it. I also asked about the card limit but I was just given weird looks. Well that and a laughing Amethyst.

"Silly Steven, everyone knows credit cards don't have limits." was the reply I got. Which, in turn, made me look at the piece of plastic with even more uncertainty. When asked about payment options on Amazon, yes Amazon, I simply had to take a picture of it and everything went through perfectly.

This was a few days ago, but I've refused to let the card out of my hand since. I mean, we had infinite money! Or, not actually infinite most likely, but it might as well be. The fam didn't see much wrong with it, they only used the thing for me anyway, it's not like they need to eat or anything.

Finishing the bowl, I pick up the card and not for the first time fixate on the number on the back of the card. I want to call it. I want to call it so much. Who would pick up? Would I get an automated voice mail? Or would it be some government official? I would have done so by now, but honestly I'm worried. I've watched too many shows and movies where the government is the bad guy, and being stronger before any sort of contact is paramount.

I put it in my pocket and get off the couch when I hear a ring. A phone ring coming from the kitchen. Obviously I start walking to investigate, and right there on the counter is an old school black rotary phone. One I don't remember seeing before this point. Has this been here the whole time and my brain just ignored it this whole time? Fading into the background?

Did the original show have a phone right here? I can't remember! Who would actively pay attention to something like that?! My hand slowly rises to pick up the call, but as I grab hold of it, the call ends. For a second I sat there and thought.

Who the hell could it be? Who would even have The Gem's numbers and why would they be calling? Could it be for Steven? But I have my own! Regardless if it's for the OG or not, wouldn't whoever wants to get a hold of me call my personal number.

My heart almost jumps from my chest as my hand starts to suddenly vibrate. The phone is ringing again. This time, I didn't hesitate, and picked up the call after taking a calming breath while steeling my resolve.

"Yes? I mean, hello, how can I help you?" I ask a little nervously. I don't even know why I'm freaking out like this. I'm going to feel really silly when all this panicking only gets me a confused voice and sorry wrong number.

"Sorry to intrude, but I am looking for the Crystal Gems. May they happen to be around young man?" is the response I get from the other side. It sounds like an old man, like really old, like an ancient old. He had one of those voices that shakes with every syllable. Luckily a flash of light from the Temple Gate appeared soon after.

"Oh of course, they're right here actually. I'll hand you over to Garnet." I tell him before reaching the phone towards her. She takes it with an impassive look and after a bit begins to nod. Which causes me to raise an eyebrow, because she's not saying anything and I'm sure that ancient device doesn't have a video call feature. To be fair, while I can't hear the conversation, by her nods, it seems to be going rather smoothly.

"We will be there immediately. Goodbye." Garnet ends the conversation with a monotone voice. During the call, Amethyst made herself comfortable while raiding the fridge for ice scream. Her 'Nom nom nom's are adorable but I try to focus. Why would we need to go anywhere, who the hell was that? And why do they have our number?

"We have a mission from some human monks. Apparently a stone that we left in the mountains has been stolen by a bird. We will retrieve it." she explains before walking towards the teleport pad. With a quick shake of my head I run in front of her, my utter confusion clear.

"Wait wait wait! What?! Monks? Mountains? I thought we got missions from the government occasionally, but this seems totally different. Can someone please give me a little explanation as to what is happening here?"

"Oh! Oh! I got this!" Amethyst says with a hand raised and gulping down the last of the ice cream. "Okay, so a while ago these old dudes found a relic we lost during the war, but when we went to go get it back, they already made some sort of cult around it!"

"It was not a cult, they found that meditating around the statue brought increased clarity and opened up something they called Chakra." Pearl casually fries my mind. CHI?! Like, the real thing or the type from my world? Because in mine I'm pretty sure it was fake, but this could change the game! If humans had Chakra, could they be a threat to the Gems?

"Yeah yeah whatever. Anyway, they were all pretty chill so we let them keep it as long as they didn't break it and stuff. If anyone tries to steal it from them or something we go there and bust some heads! Basically they call us when they need something." the purplette finishes with a shrug.

"As…crass as that was, she's not actually wrong. The monks were friendly and understanding people. They focus their entire lives on achieving inner peace and becoming enlightened. We saw no reason to take it from them. And so we let them keep it until we needed it once more. This is actually great timing, the Lunar Sea Spire is going to come tumbling down soon, and what a perfect opportunity to save a bit of history."

Giant bird? Statue? Spire? It seems like it's time. The third episode is here! Well not quite here, we still have a giant bird to take care of, but besides that smooth sailing. I begin walking towards the pad with excitement. Technically this is my first real mission!

"Steven!? Where are you going?!" Pearl asks, no more like demands, while grabbing my wrist and stopping me. "I know you're excited after unlocking your powers but this isn't a game. You cannot come with us." she says rather empirically. It made me stop in my tracks, because I honestly didn't expect that.

"Pearl, this is what I've been preparing for. All of the time I've spent training was moments like these. How could I not go with you?" I ask with a soft voice. I don't want this to turn into an argument, but I am going. I'll put my foot down if I have too.

"You've just started, you can't come, you're not ready! What if you get hurt? What if we can't get to you in time in an emergency? What if you die?! I can't- no I can't go through that again. You're staying here, where it's safe." my woman orders. It begins to worry me, she has that same look as when I first got to this world and she snapped suddenly. What the hell did I do to her already?

"Pearl. Listen to me very clearly. I. Am. Going. This is not up for debate nor discussion." I can see her losing her composure the moment I finish my first sentence, but I push on anyway. This isn't something I can back off on. "I get that you don't want me hurt, but I'm still a Crystal Gem. I have to get started one day, and if not now, when?"

"Not now! Garnet, please, you must agree with me. he's not ready for missions. Especially the dangerious ones. Stop him from doing anything crazy!" Pearl pleaded with a look of help to the leader of our little group which drew my attention to the fusion. Our eyes lock, almost as if I was daring her to fight me on this. She knows what I can do.

"What's the problem? If the guy wants to come then let him come. He's not as good as me of course but he's not that bad. he'll live at least. Probably." Amethyst backs me up with a shrug. Well, if you can call that backup, more like a 'Why not' stance, but I'm accepting any and all help here.

The look that followed afterwards towards Amethyst from Pearl could only be described as scalding. If I didn't know any better, I would say that she was just a few seconds away from attacking. Eventually though, she ignores her and focuses back on Garnet.

I look between the two as they stare at each other for several minutes. Well it was actually only a couple of seconds but I swear time seemed to freeze. After a while though, she just shakes her head, and Pearl's face falls into despair.

"He will come. Steven isn't the same as he once was. He's different now, he can take care of himself. And us. It is what his shield is for." Garnet decides, and with that, I have nothing to worry about. Looking back at Pearl, one would assume that I was already dead. I've never seen anyone look so devastated.

"Hey, everything will be okay. This is just a simple mission, way less dangerious than the giant eyeball that was in the sky." I try to reassure her, though I can immediately tell, it doesn't help much. She looks away from me and walks towards the pad. I can't help the sigh that escapes as I follow and so do the rest.

Stepping on to the teleportation pad, I have to say, while I was confident before I'm starting to get nervous. I'm still going of course, but Pearl had a right to be worried. The Crystal Gems fight dangerous things. Like fucking acid beetles. And people that can raise the Earth's oceans!

A flash of light envelopes us all and my stomach drops. Not in a bad way, but it was like we were in a very fast elevator. Like, super fast, but there was an opposite force that almost balanced it out. I don't know if I could properly explain it, but it was almost like we were falling up.

The next thing I know, we're in an entirely different place. A cold place. Looking around, I notice that snow is everywhere, and my breathing hitches. Well that's how it starts, because no matter how deep of a breath I take, it just felt like I couldn't get any oxygen! My legs go weak as I fall to my knees.

Fuck! This isn't how I wanted my first mission to go. Pearl is never going to let me go on another mission. And worse, Amethyst will never let me live this down. And worse, I still can't breathe damn it!

XOXOXOOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

PAT. RE. ON. / CrowProduction - 04/23/2022

I feel a sharp smack upon my back that makes me suddenly take a deep gulp of air. Air that I can actually breath. I open my eyes and look to the sky as I take in that sweet sweet O2. In and Out, breathing has never felt so good. After a few good deep breaths I finally realize that someone had their arms wrapped around me.

"Steven! Steven, what happened!? I knew I shouldn't have let you come here. I knew it was too dangerous! But no one ever wants to listen to me!" she yells at no one in particular. Which would be fine I suppose if she wasn't also rocking me back and forth like a baby. That crazy look is in her eyes again, and it's really starting to worry me.

"Calm down Pearl. His fragile human parts had to acclimate to the thin air, but his gem makes him adapt quicker than normal. He's fine now." Garnet explains my first near death experience. Even if I actually wasn't in any real danger, it sure as hell felt like it.

"Wow Steven, I didn't know you were so weak. Those monk humans have been living on this mountain for years and they never had a problem. Breathing is soo easy, here watch me!" Amethyst chimes in while very helpfully showing me the proper breathing technique. Which is just her taking in deep breaths and releasing.

"Pearl, I'm fine, everything is okay." I say while ignoring Amethyst, who continued to oh so kindly provide her tutorial on breathing skills. I get up off of the ground with a little trouble because my girlfriend refuses to let go.

"No, no you've already been hurt. We're turning back and taking you home." Pearl demands. I roll my eyes and grab her shoulders to give her a quick shake. A bunch of words explaining why we must go and blah blah blah.

"I'm alright! I'm sorry for worrying you, but I'm fine now. You have to trust that I can do this. I want to be here. I get that you don't want me in any dangerous situations, but I feel the same way about you guys. And I'm the one with the shield. If I turn back now, when will I ever have the power to protect you?" I plead for her to understand.

I can see she wants to say something but she begins to look conflicted. After an internal argument with herself, I assume she's come to an agreeable conclusion, because she simply nods and walks forward towards the temple. Wait, the temple? Whoa, I guess I didn't notice because my whole, 'Not Being Able to Breathe' situation, but there's a huge temple that runs INTO a mountain. That's so cool!

I follow the rest of the Gems as they also walk towards the cool building that seems to use the very mountain as part of the architecture. Stepping inside, I feel like I'm inside the Taj Mahal. People with robes walking around, some of the guys, and women, are just bald, everyone walking with a purpose. It's hard to control the nerd-gasm that's trying to force its way out.

Surprisingly, no one seems to be coming to stop us. I don't imagine this place openly accepts a lot of visitors. We're getting a bunch of glances and stares, mostly from the younger monks, but even some of the older generation's gazes seem to fall on us. Those seem to be less curious and more in the line of recognition however.

We finally reach what seems to be the center of the mountain. There, we find a room with a beautiful library that makes my heart skip a beat. The bookshelves reach the ceiling of the room and there isn't a spot unfilled. I can't tell perfectly with just a glance, but most seem to be in good condition. As in, no wear and tear, no scrolls that are falling apart, and no holes in the pages. I only picked up and few and skimmed but with each one my amazement multiplied.

It's a fucking wonderland of knowledge and no a single person thought to stop me from touching the tombs. Going further in there a large spiraling stair case that leads to the very top. I notice that I'm a little behind the others from gaping so much and catch up as they begin heading upwards.

It took at least 3 entire minutes to reach the top. 3 WHOLE MINUTES of climbing the stairs before we finally made it see something amazing. At this point, my jaw refuses to leave the floor, because embedded in this mountain facing the rising the rising sun, was a picture made from stained-glass showing an epic.

There in the middle, is a figure that clearly matches Garnet. To the right is Pearl and to the left is someone I haven't met yet. At least in this body. Instead of Amethyst, there standing to the left is Bismuth. And above them all, is a beautiful yet fierce woman made of pink, holding both a sword and shield. A yellow and orange sun hovers behind her as the real sun shines through casting the entire floor in an array of light.

"Wow..." I say in amazement. It really was the only thing I can say, the only thing I can even think of at the moment. How long ago was this made? How much history is in this one mural? They have BISMUTH! This was created before she was bubbled! What is that? At least 500 years?

"Hmph, still haven't updated this thing? When will they get with the times. Out with the old! In with the new and improved!" Amethyst says after looking at the work of art. "I don't even know who that one is! When will they put me up there?"

Looking around to find the other gems for some exposition, I find that both Pearl and Garnet have sat at a table with an old man. I end up dragging the midget to the table with the others as she continues to grumble about her 'Awesomeness not being recognized.

OXXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOX

PAT. RE. ON. /CrowProduction - 04/24/2022

Sitting at the table with the others, I finally notice a frail looking old man reading at the head. And when I say old, I mean borderline ancient. This guy trembled with every turn of the page and looked like a soft breeze would turn him to ash. If he's below 90, I'll eat my shoes. Both of them.

Looking the man up and down, I realize no one has said anything, not even Garnet or Pearl, who got here before me and the trouble maker. In fact, no one continues not to say anything until the man, very shakily if I may add, turns the page once more and pulls out what seems to be a Pink Rose bookmark and places it to hold his spot.

The man, unlike most of the men and women I've seen so far, is actually wearing fairly normal clothing. No robes or anything, though he is still bald. I do wonder if that a conscious decision however, I don't think he has a choice. He's wearing sweat pants and a god ugly bright pink sweater that makes him stand out even more than he did already.

Odd clothing and old age aside, there's something else I noticed from him. Something that makes my eyes widen slightly in surprise. The old guy seems to have pink eyes. Now it could be contacts, but for some reason I get this deep feeling within me that it would be wrong of me to make that assumption.

About time, he looks up from his tomb greets us all at the other end of the table with a smile and a nod. The man picks up the book and slowly drifts to the side as if handing it to someone, which confuses me. Obviously. But then I have to stop myself from jumping out of my seat as someone appears from nowhere and takes it.

My eyes stick to the new man, who looks like one of the younger monks around. He just appeared. Like from thin air, I don't even know how to explain it. One moment he was there and the next he wasn't. Was it speed? Do these monks have Flash Step? Can he fucking teleport? Was he invisible? These are just normal humans right? What the hell is going on here?!

"Uhm Excuse me, if I may be the first to speak up, because it seems like everyone else here either knows enough already or doesn't care. Pardon my foul language, but what in the, and keep up with here, hell just happened?! Where did that guy come from? And how in the world did he do that?! Can I do that?" I practically demand an answer.

"Ohh you must the young man I spoke to on the phone a bit earlier. Welcome to Crystal Mountain, I apologize if young Adam here scared you. He's a bit of a troublemaker. What you saw there is a basic usage of what we call Chi. Though it is called many things, Ki, Chakra, and even Mana it is all the same." He explains while simultaneously making more questions than he answers.

"It is a pleasure to see you again Elder Roman. You haven't changed a bit. Still as young as you were 300 years ago." Pearl casually says while dropping the biggest damn bomb I have heard so far in this world. 300 YEARS!? My head looks left to right between the two on a swivel. She's kidding, there's no way, even this Chakra stuff is real here, even Hiruzen and Oonaki didn't last this long!

"Ohohohohoooo, you truly flatter me Master Pearl. You don't look a day over Millennium. As youthful as ever." The old fossil flirts with my girl. Uhm, what the fuck? Pearl response is a single giggle and a small blue blush. Uhm. What. The. Fuck? I snap my fingers in irritation while trying to calm my rising fury.

"Hey! WIth all do respect old man, keep in your pants and focus. We're here to solve a bird problem not have you flirt with your betters." I snap out. Hey, don't judge me. I'm not perfect okay, I was just a teenager before I got sent here and I realize how immature it was the moment it left my lips. But it's too late now.

"Steven!" My girlfriend gasps in surprise. Which is fair, it was fairly out of character. From the right of me, I can feel Garnets gaze on me, that's making me really uncomfortable. I guess she didn't see that in her future vision huh. My face begins to redden a bit as the attention of everyone in the library seems to focus on me, but I refuse to back down. Though Amethyst's laughter aren't helping the situation.

"How dare you? Do you have any idea who this is? I do not even understand why you've been allowed to step onto these Holy Grounds. And to not only accompany but to walk beside the Great Masters as if equal?" The boy sneers at me in derision. "You truly don't know your place. Who even are you?"

My focus transfers immediately at the tone of the piece of garbage, and my assessment of him immediately plummets from awesome ninja monk to uppity little shit in the span of 5 seconds. Giving him an actual look over, he looks like all the rest I've past except he actually has jet black hair. But besides that, he doesn't even have normal clothes. In a moment, my opinion of him solidifies.

Background Character. This background character dares speak to me as if he's above me? I can't help the smirk that forms as I slowly pull up my shirt and I watch in great amusement as his mouth drops and his eyes pop out of his skull. For a moment, everything is silent again, before we eventually make eye contact.

"I am Steven Universe, Son of Rose Quartz, and Shield of the Crystal Gems. The real question here is: Who are you?"