Jake couldn't seem to focus the rest of the night. He sat across from Finn who was talking up a storm, giving a witty lecture about how the cheerleaders on the football team usually gave out since the team right about now started losing games so they would become disgusted and seek out the only winning team from the college. Roper was highly amused, sitting next to Finn, drinking his beer, laughing all the while Jake tried his hardest to act natural, looking across at Finn, not daring to even glance over at McReynolds, who barely said anything since they sat down. Instead he sipped his drink, and listened as Finn went on and on, thankfully not noticing the thick tension that hung in the air. Jake could faintly smell Glen's cologne, and kept thinking back over and over to that kiss out back. The firm pressure of Glen's lips against his.

The scratch of his mustache against his skin, and how the oddest overwhelming warmth and tingling bubbled in his stomach when this happened. Confused, and more than a little worried, Jake nervously faked laughter, nodded, and continued talking with Finn and Roper, trying everything within his inner being to not look over at Glen. Music played on the jukebox, and pitcher after pitcher of beer was drunk. Finally they all were getting ready to leave. Jake couldn't believe his hands were shaking when he reached for his wallet to toss some cash on table with the others when Finn nudged Roper.

"Excuse me fellas, Kenny and myself have some business to attend to with two cheerleaders speaking of..."

Jake looked up stunned as Finn and Roper both were smiling, getting up and walking to the bar where two very attractive girls were sitting, glancing over and smiling. Jake felt a shallow pit hit inside of him as he watched both Finn and Roper approach the girls, Roper draping an arm around one of the girls who smiled, as Finn put his hand on his hip, already laying in on putting down the groundwork on getting laid tonight. Sitting there, Jake tensed up when McReynolds leaned in and softly whispered in his ear.

"Walk out back with me, we need to talk."

Jake at first wanted to turn on Glen, shouting that he wasn't some fairy. That he wasn't into that type of shit, and honestly didn't think Glen was either. What was all this horseshit about his dead girlfriend? Or the countless girls he had fucked since Jake had started school. He was confused, and more than a little on edge, but saw Glen get up from his seat and walk towards the rear entrance. Sighing, he glanced up at him watching him walk away and figured to just see what he wanted. Maybe this had been some stupid prank or mistake? He hoped it was. Maybe Glen lost a bet and all the guys were in on it. Feeling his cheeks burn, he pushed his chair in, gave one last look at Finn and Roper at the bar, both happily chatting away with the two girls as he turned and followed Glen outback. Once he was outside, he saw McReynolds in the back alley, leaning against the brick wall, his large tanned muscular arms crossed. Jake looked around and saw with the dumpsters, and the other building next door, nobody could see them. Still paranoid, he sighed again before he walked over to Glen who was staring down, almost ashamed. Standing next to him, Jake took a second before he cleared his throat.


"I'm not gay..."

Glen said, before he lifted his eyes and stared at him. His greenish eyes locking with Jake's brown ones. Suddenly Jake saw there wasn't any threat there. That McReynolds wasn't playing any prank, or on the verge of flipping out. Instead, he just stood there staring at Jake, his eyes looking exhausted. Jake stood there at a loss of words, before McReynolds closed his eyes and shook his head before he held the bridge of his nose with his thumb and finger for a second as if he had an awful headache.

"I...don't know. When I was a kid, like ten or twelve there was this kid on my baseball team and..."

His words trailed off before he shook his head.

"It dosen't's just...if I tell you this freshmen I swear to God I'll fucking kill you."

Jake just stood there silent before Glen sighed and shook his head frustrated before going on.

"There was this dad in the neighborhood who was the assistant coach...well...he used to sometimes try and get some of us alone, usually in the locker room and like watch us."

Jake's face fell.


Glen shook his head.

"He ended up getting caught and it was this big thing that the town basically swept under the rug, but one of my teammates who was a buddy of mine felt the same way I did after it was all over...dirty. We were too young to understand what that sick bastard had been doing. My mother nearly pulled me out of playing ball since she felt so guilty over what happened. This friend summer we were swimming and he had some kind of fit, maybe he started remembering what that bastard did, but he started shaking all over crying and I didn't know what to do. I got so confused. I put my arms around him and held him. When he calmed down, he looked at me funny and kissed me. At first I freaked out, I nearly slugged him...but...I don't know something about it felt natural. We started sneaking off that entire summer, mostly just to hide out and kiss. We never did anything else, Jesus Christ we were just kids...but somehow whenever we were together it felt natural...comforting you know? We both knew we weren't gay, we liked girls and were just at that age were we were starting to date them but...being with him felt good. Then that start of the school year his dad got a new job and they moved away and that was the last time I ever kissed a guy. I started dating girls, liked fucking them, and still do. Audrey..."

Glen looked almost as if he was in pain. He stood back for a second before continuing.

"Audrey never knew this about me. I've been with a ton of girls, but I was her first. I loved her...I really fucking did. When she died last May, any...little chance I thought I had of having a happy future was ripped away. I miss her so Goddamn much Jake. I know I'm fucked in the head. I know it. I know how it looks, how crazy I get...but I feel like everything has just been building up over the years and I thought with Audrey she could help me block it out...but...that kiss earlier. It was the first time since Audrey that I actually felt something. Not like these dumb bitches I keep shacking up with, trying to pretend that everything is all right. Trust me. I get it. We're in Texas, on a team...and if any of the guys ever found out..."

He stopped for a second, staring down before finally he shook his head, tears of frustration and anger spilling down his face.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I know you're not into that. I'm just begging you to please never say anything. I just have a few months left here and hopefully then I can play pro-ball. I swear I'll..."

Before he could finish, Jake stepped forward, locking eyes with McReynolds. He sighed deeply before he took a deep breath, and leaned forward, closing his eyes and kissing McReynolds straight on the lips.


It was the night after the team had won yet another victory game. It was a warm breezy May evening, and a party at Jennifer Miller's sorority house was being held on Forest Street since she was dating Jeffery Martin, a senior on the team. Everyone was having a great time, and currently McReynolds was standing on the balcony with Roper, Finn, Nesbit, and Coma, surrounded by friends, and beautiful ladies, nursing beers, and listening to the music blast from inside. People were everywhere, inside, outside, laughing, dancing, and celebrating. McReynolds was feeling extra good tonight. He had scored a total of two home runs tonight, and the only disappointing thing was that Audrey was stuck in class and didn't get to see. The two had been dating since the fall, and McReynolds seriously believed that she was "the one".

She was constantly sleeping over, and tried her best to attend every single game of his. He called her his good luck charm, and loved nothing better than to really impress her. Most nights he would take her out dancing at the Sound Machine. She would often sit on his lap, her arm draped around him as Glen chatted with the guys. He knew all of the guys on the team loved her like a little sister. She was practically living there, and night after night Glen would bring her upstairs, where the two would screw for hours non-stop. Ever since Audrey's first time that fall, she had taken to sex like a fish would to water. Glen's favorite thing was whenever those big eyes of hers would stare up at him as she went down on him while Glen sweated, and grasped the sheets on the bed. He was extremely jealous, and twice nearly lost it on assholes around campus that happened to forget that she was Glen McReynold's girlfriend. Finally not that long ago, Glen decided he wanted to propose. He had met her aunt over spring break and she had absolutely loved him. He was planning on bringing her home at the end of the semester to meet his mother, who was dying to meet a girl that had finally seemed to have captured her handsome son's heart. He had already begun to plan when he was going to propose. He wanted to do it on the 4th of July, at the baseball field during the fireworks show. Roper had even gone with him to the city to help him pick out a ring.

He had opened one of his savings accounts, and actually seemed nervous as he stared at the sparkling diamond band. Roper smirked, asking him if this was what he wanted? Glen smirked before nodding.

"I know it seems fast but...there's just something about Audrey. Remember that fight I nearly got into with that prick from the Oreos last month?"

Roper smirked.

"How could I forget?"

McReynolds shrugged.

"You saw me, I nearly was ready to rip his fucking head off, not even coach could calm me down. I walked off the field and was ready to storm off but there she was. She hurried over, stood on her tiptoes and put her hands on my shoulders and made me look her in the eye. She suddenly made me calm down just like she always does. I can't mess this up...I need her."

Roper smiled before he motioned down to the sparking ring.

"Well with a ring like that she'll be so weighed down she'll never be able to run away."

McReynolds cracked a grin, before both started talking about how he was planning on proposing. Now here he was, standing on the balcony of the house the party was being held at, standing against the railing as the sky began to darken, holding his beer, wearing a dark blue T-shirt and jeans, waiting for his girlfriend who reassured him she didn't need him to pick her up from class, that she would swing by her dorm quickly to change and walk on over since it was just three blocks away. That's when Roper nudged Glen's arm.

"Look, Audrey."

McReynolds raised an eyebrow turning, still holding his beer and looked out down from the balcony and saw Audrey coming up from across the street on the sidewalk. She was wearing those tight cranberry shorts, and white sailor blouse he loved on her so much. She was walking along before she looked up and smiled. Glen smiled as she waved and started to jog across the street when suddenly everything happened in slow motion. He saw the headlights suddenly, but it was too late. Roper saw it too and Glen felt his hand tighten on his arm, when Audrey was crossing the street one second, then a blur of a car with screeching tires filled the air. Glen's eyes widened, and he watched as Audrey was struck, then dragged before the car swerved and smashed into a tree a few yards further down the road. The crash was loud as the sound of crinkling metal, and shattering glass exploded over the sound of the music.

Somebody screamed as Glen saw Audrey's body roll and land in a heap in the middle of the street. Dropping his beer, Glen spun around and bolted faster than he ever ran before. He knocked into a girl, sending her falling to her knees with a cry but he ignored her and flew down the stairs, skipping three at a time, before pushing past a crowd of people and flying out the front door. He saw people on the lawn stand back stunned, as some people were running towards the car that had crashed further down the street. Glen ran towards the middle of the road, before skidding towards the heap that was Audrey as if he was sliding into home plate. He heard Finn and Roper behind him, as he leaned forward and turned Audrey over. Her eyes were bloodshot, one nearly entirely filled with blood. She stared up at him, and he saw through her tangle of hair, that half of her skull was shattered, he could see her brain as thick syrup like blood was oozing out. He felt it soak through his jeans, and saw the left side of her shirt was nearly entirely soaked with it.

Her arms were badly scraped with road rash, and she was slightly convulsing. Glen suddenly felt extremely overwhelmed. Just less than a minute ago he was standing upstairs, looking down at Audrey crossing the street, smiling up at him. Now he was sitting in the middle of said street, cradling her body, smelling the sickening stench of blood, and seeing that half of her head was crushed in. He could faintly hear sirens as Roper stood back.

"Jesus Christ!" He cried, turning away looking as if he was going to be sick. Finn knelt down right beside him, and took a deep breath.

"Glen..." Glen ignored him and instead stared down at Audrey.

"Audrey? Audrey?"

Audrey's long lashes fluttered as she stared up, not quite focusing. Glen heard Finn say something about keeping her awake. He held onto her as she stared up at him, before suddenly she shook violently and then went slump in his arms. Sitting there, feeling the warmth of his girlfriend's blood continue to soak into his clothes as the sound of the sirens became louder and louder, Glen waited for Audrey to look at him. Instead her eyes stared off, and he knew she was dead. "Audrey? Audrey?!" He shook her again, even harder.


He screamed, shaking her again, all of the shock, rage, and devastation hitting him at once. Sitting there, he continued holding his dead girlfriend as her blood continued to spread out onto the street. Back in his room a few blocks away, hidden in his dresser underneath his socks was the ring box waiitng, and now sadly never to be used.


McReynolds smiled through the kiss as Jake suddenly cupped the sides of Glen's face, bringing him in close. Their mouths opened and closed, as McReynolds moaned, plunging his tongue inside Jake's mouth, tightly holding onto his shoulders, and clutching onto him for dear life. The kiss broke, spittle running between their mouths before Jake drew back, face flushed before he smiled while trying to catch his breath.

"Let's go..."

Glen raised an eyebrow.


Jake shook his head, looking around making sure nobody was watching.

"I don't care, just somewhere..."

Smiling, Glen nodded before the two headed quickly towards the parking-lot, straight towards the car.