Chapter 3 'It Can't Be'
(OUTDATED A/N, THIS STORY IS TAKEN IN A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT DIRECTION. THIS MAY BE THE SADDEST CHAPTER SO FAR)
First of all, Fonjavters' spirit came back in the form of someone else whom I will send retarded PMs to. (Scott Morrison, Tony Abbot etc. will be shipped to you)
I will say, that this story at this point isn't going to be that emotional. I intend on it being a bit disturbing, or sad in the sense of him escaping into a fantasy world. By that I mean… well, you'll find out. This story was actually inspired by a few cases of animals falling in love with statues and plushies. One case saw a duck fall in love with a statue for several years until it died.
I will work on my other stories, but keep in mind this story will probably have 2 or 3 more chapters left, so this may take top priority. I just want to finish a story. Then I'll work on Too Ugly To Be Loved and True Blues. By the way, True Blues will have a nice lemon at the end. Hopefully, you bird pervs will love it. I'll write two versions of it, one more graphic than the other. (I'll use the less graphic one, sorry bird pervs)
Two of my commenters (AgentGunderson1 and JAQUI THE SPIX MACAW) mentioned their suspicions that I am going to write a lemon for this story. I may actually do that. My plan was to have the beginning of it, but not actually write a lemon. (Blu mounts Jewel and it cuts away) But now I'll write it as a separate chapter. NOTE: I MAY NOT WRITE IT. I DON'T KNOW
NOTE: I WON'T WRITE A LEMON, SORRY BIRD PERVS.
Anyways, question: What is my best story? Personally, I like True Blues the most. (Although this and Too Ugly To Be Loved are tied for a close second) (update: One-Winged Angel is the best, but maybe this story may rise to the top. Or not, idk)
Okay, this A/N is very old and long. I revisited this story with a new idea. Before, Jewel talking was Blu hallucinating and trying to escape into a fantasy world… But now I removed that idea… sort of. I'll leave it up to the reader's interpretation whether Jewel is actually talking or if Blu has gone insane from grief and regret. I won't tell you. Everything after 'yes Blu' was written on 13/07/2020. Plenty before it was written on 26/05/2020. Hence the italics initially.
Anyways, lets get on with it! Enjoy or suffer.
Linda and Tulio observed Blu as he socialised with the fake Jewel, as if she was the real Jewel. They had no idea what he was saying, as it just sounded like squawking to them. Everything was going well. Blu seemed to be a lot happier, and that was the goal – to cheer Blu up.
''So, Linda, do you think we could get to know each other, and let Blu and 'Jewel' have some privacy?'', Tulio asked Linda with a hint of nervousness in his voice. Being honest, he was developing feelings for Linda and hoped they could get to know each other more and maybe – just maybe – become a couple.
''Uh, yeah, sure!'', Linda replied with a slight hint of uncertainty. She was still nervous around men, as she had always been. She never talked to them that much, not because she's a lesbian or asexual, but because she was always the shy, socially awkward type, and she preferred being around Blu. The two headed upstairs to chat. Blu and Jewel were left downstairs with each other.
Blu had enough of just talking to Jewel, as it was just him talking to himself and getting no reply. He sadly went back into his cage and sat on his perch. The fake Jewel had cheered him up a bit. But it was like Chinese food: It fills you up for 20 minutes, but in the end you're still empty. Or at least, that's what Blu's heard. He's never had Chinese food before. Hopefully, she'll be able to cheer him up again, but for now he felt empty again.
Hey, Blu, come back…
Blu was startled and snapped back to face Jewel,
''What? Did you just talk?'', Blu said in shock and disbelief. He climbed out of his cage and walked up to Jewel.
''Jewel?'', Blu said softly, as he slowly neared her.
Blu was startled that she responded. It can't be, she's dead! This is a plushie… there's no way… But her sweet, angelic voice was a welcome sound for Blu. He missed it more than anything, except the bird it belonged to. He missed that even more.
''I-It can't be… You're dead!'', Blu was in denial of this, and it could very well be his grieved-up mind playing tricks on him.
''I know, but I was granted a second chance.'', Jewel responded. Blu's eyes widened as he realised she was moving. Am I insane? there was no answer for Blu, but he hoped this was real. He hoped this wasn't a hallucination or a dream. Tears began to well up when he realised she was well and truly gone – or at least, her real body is. Maybe she really did come back, but that meant she's dead. Blu's heart was pierced with the sharp, unrelenting dagger of regret and remorse.
''Oh Jewel! I am so, so sorry for leaving you… Please, forgive me!'', Blu cried out in remorse, as he approached Jewel. He knelt down next to her, his head low in repent for his cowardice.
''Blu, it's okay… I forgive you. I'm glad you survived, because that way we'd both be gone.'', Jewel forgave him with her soft, angelic voice. Blu looked up and saw her looking at him with an understanding expression.
''I wish it didn't have to be like this…'', Blu muttered in a sad, broken voice. Jewel felt really bad for him, she couldn't have imagined him being this distraught over her. But at the same time, it was sort of obvious he had feelings for her. Whether it was real feelings for her – as a person – or if it was merely for her body, like so many men before him. It didn't matter, because Blu's original intentions probably were overridden by her death. You never truly know what you've got, until its gone.
''I wish it didn't either… But what's done is done, and you can't change that.'', Jewel responded, placing her wing on Blu's shoulder. Blu smiled slightly.
''The last two weeks were really stressful for me. I could barely stomach eating, I missed you…'', Blu told her lowly, even though he was sure she already knew, as spirits do. She probably observed him from the afterlife.
''…It has? Blu, I never knew how much this had affected you…'', Jewel spoke with pity, and this destroyed Blu's notion before. He decided to roll along with it, without questioning her further. He was sort of glad, because he definitely didn't want her to see some of his… methods of coping…
''Yeah, everything just seems so quiet and lonely… It never felt like this before. Jewel, the two days I spent with you were the best two days of my life, by far. To be able to be near another bird, was just… amazing…'', Blu was getting sentimental, and his words were sincere.
He never talked to other birds. The only ones he knew were two geese that mocked him for being a pet. Every time he tried to make a friend, or at least socialise with another bird, they always laughed at him and mocked him for being a pet. It wasn't his fault, but everyone else seemed to act like that. Eventually, he gave up trying. Because the rejection and humiliation was taking a toll on him. He had Linda, and that's all he had for 15 years. That's why he hates the word 'pet', its derogatory to him, because others use it as a slur of sorts, and so that's what it became for him. Blu sighed,
''Jewel… There's something I've wanted to tell you for a while… I… I… I-I- '', his nervous attempt at confessing to Jewel was disrupted by Linda.
''Sorry for disrupting you and 'Jewel', but Tulio needs to assess your health.'', Linda told Blu, not knowing what she just did. Blu's heart shattered into a million shards. His eyes welled up again, because he realised that they seemed to take no notice of Jewel… Blu began to sob uncontrollably when he realised that he had just talked to a fake. He was insane, and this shattering of an illusion was the final straw for him.
He refused to let them take him. He hurried over to his cage, which was his safe space, and hid away. Linda and Tulio misinterpreted this behaviour as him being naughty and rebellious.
''Tyler Blu Gunderson!'', Linda said his full name, which Blu acossiated solely with him being in serious trouble. But when they heard Blu's soft, mournful squawks, they realised he wasn't being rebellious or naughty at all – he was crying. Both Linda and Tulio realised what had happened, and Linda felt really guilty to shatter his illusion like glass. Before Linda could apologise, Tulio took it upon himself to try and calm Blu down.
Tulio held the fake Jewel and did the best impression he could of her. Blu, don't cry, I'm real! Is what Tulio meant to say, but for Blu it came out as insulting gibberish. Tulio's expression dropped and he placed her down. He realised that Blu didn't buy his squawks.
''Blu… I'm really sorry for doing that. I didn't mean to- '', Linda sincerely apologised to Blu in a soft, quiet voice. But Blu let out an anguished and angry squawk, which she knew meant 'Go away, and leave me alone! I need some alone time.' She obeyed.
''I think we should just leave him alone for now.'', Linda whispered to Tulio.
''But we need to assess him!'', Tulio reminded her. She shook her head,
''I know, but for his sake, we need to leave him alone. Please.'', Linda countered softly. Tulio paused for a moment and nodded.
''Alright, but once he's feeling better, I'll assess him. I need to, because you know that birds in general – especially parrots – are vulnerable to stress and grief. If we don't help him, he might die.'', Tulio agreed, but it was clear he was hesitant. The two headed elsewhere, and left Blu to his thoughts.
Blu was balling his little chocolate brown eyes out. He doubted it was really her in the first place, but the sentimentality of the situation blinded him. Now, he paid the price. He didn't even get any sort of closure of being able to confess his feelings for her.
Um, its okay… Hey, it's okay! We'll figure this out together, right? Her words rang in his mind, which caused him to cry even harder.
''I wish I could, Jewel… But I can't! You're gone… forever... I can only figure it out by myself, and I don't think I can Jewel!'', Blu responded to her voice, as if she actually talked to him. Blu was trembling in anguish; this was all too much for him.
Blu had never felt this lonely, this sad, since he was a chick. He remembered the fragments of old memories that he recalled in Rio, of him as a little chick. This caused him to cry even more. He remembered a recurring nightmare he had where he was in some jungle with birds singing. Then the cages… the cages! Oh, those poor birds… He felt bad for them, even though they were dream birds. But at the same time, he had a suspicion this was a long-lost memory, only surfacing in his dreams. He had this persistent feeling of intense sadness and longing for someone in those dreams. His life before Linda is very fuzzy, but it is still enough to make him feel down.
What happened to his parents? Where are they, and how do they feel? They must feel, or felt, this sensation of intense melancholy, perhaps even worse. They never knew what happened to their son, and he'll never know what happened to them. Not knowing for sure about the fate of someone is often worse than knowing. Its the unknown and it bugs him. But maybe its for the best he doesn't remember them, because he doesn't want the lasting pain of their loss. He's already dealing with one, and he doesn't want another.
Blu could faintly remember sitting by a window waiting for his parents to return. He'd do this for hours when he was a chick. But they'd never return, how could they? They were so far away, and they'd never know where their son went.
Everything that could help him become sadder was coming to him with a vengeance. He just wished he never met Jewel. She'd still be alive if it weren't for him. He missed the innocence of being here in Moose Lake before he went to Rio. Rio took away the innocence – the bliss of solitude – and turned it into the pain of desolation. He felt desolate. Moose Lake was lonely, and he hated that.
He is just a lost soul swimming in a fishbowl, but unlike the Pink Floyd song, he was swimming alone. But he still wished she were here.
''Blu, please don't cry, I'm here…'', Jewel's voice called out in a soft, angelic and understanding tone. But this made him feel worse.
''NO! You're not here! I wish you were, but you're not!'', Blu wailed out in despair. It was as if his mind was taunting him.
''I am Blu, please, I don't like seeing you like this.'', she spoke again, not affected by his yelling. Blu softened up a bit, but he was still denying her supposed presence.
''Jewel… Please, I know you're not real. Just stop, please…'', Blu pleaded to her voice. He was almost certain she wasn't there… Almost… Like before, he was being reeled in by the sentimentality of the situation. He just wanted to be with her, even if it wasn't real.
''Blu… Please…'', Jewel sounded like she was on the verge of tears, and even if she were a figment of his imagination; Goddammit he would not stand to see her like this!
''I'm coming…'', Blu said lowly, as he got out of the hanging pouch he loved being inside of when he felt down. Linda had one for his sleeping cage, but not one for the 'living cage'. Linda had gotten one when Blu started getting depressed over Jewel's loss. He needed a spot to hide away in times of emotional need. She also got a larger cage, so it can fit in nicely. He climbed out of the cage and approached Jewel. She was still in the same spot as before.
''Come here… I don't want you to be sad…'', Jewel's wings were opening a bit, enticing him for a hug. Blu accepted and collapsed next to her and embraced her as tight as he could. His face was buried in her chest, and tears were soaking her feathers.
''P-p-please… D-d-don't… l-leave… m-m-me… again…'', Blu trembled uncontrollably, and his voice was strangled and shaky. He rarely stutters like this.
''I won't… I promise…'', Jewel soothed him. Blu didn't care if she was real or not, he just wanted to be with her. He needed her badly, and he gave up on denying it. At least, not how he used to. He was unsure, but it didn't matter if he was hugging a lifeless plushie or a possessed plushie. What mattered is that he's close to Jewel. He wasn't going to let her go – not now, not ever.
They're chained together, and no force of nature could tear them apart. Even if he was figuratively chained to a lifeless representation of Jewel.
It was better than nothing…
Ignore the old author's notes.
Okay, that wraps up this rather sad chapter. I hope you enjoyed it and didn't die of sadness or drown in your tears. That wouldn't be good.
I wrote a long 4 verse song for this. Yes, I can write song lyrics. If you need an original song for your story, then hit me up. I'll try my best to write one for you. Just provide context and the tone you want. You can also provide more detail, such as the name.
I know the sleeping pouch in the living cage was an afterthought. That's because I realised it wasn't present, and I am aware I never mentioned it. I'm too lazy to go back and change that. Just pretend it was mentioned, or that it didn't matter until now.
I also extended this chapter post script. (?) I felt that it wasn't long enough, even though its the longest chapter so far, but that's thanks to the long-ass author's notes. The first one is some 450 words long. This chapter was only about 200 words longer than chapter 2. Maybe it was less, I forgot. Now its 612 words longer.
Anyways, I don't know when the next chapter is coming out, as I am working on a 3-parter project that has a similar tone to this. Don't know when that will come out. Sorry for the nearly two month wait, I was just more interested in other stories and I ran out of ideas. Plus, I couldn't decide how to convey her talking, and so I gave up. Hopefully, this makes up for it.
Until next time, goodbye.