Tested POSITIVE... argh, whatever. It had to happen at some point.

Efforts of Royalty

The following is a compilation of events as seen from the eyes of a Dwemer philosopher grasping at the nature of the divine and the complicated politics of Oblivion even from the isolation of those who rarely venture out of their mountain dwellings.

Although traduction of this text grated on my nerves, I can assure my readers that every word here is a complete transcript from the very hand of the author, not my ideas or my perceptions; if anyone finds this text offensive, you can go to Ulthuan yourself and ask the source directly.

Dulenil Belavel of noble House Dagoth

As many who had met our clans, the survivors of the ancient dwemer are not easily impressed. While it is undeniable that we are very grateful to Patriarch Sigmar, many mistake our less than exuberant behavior for indifference.

The divines need a constant flow of faith and prayer, something we are reluctant to do for the possibility of failure or corruption seeing as the 4 from beyond constantly try to prey on our kind. Our constant effort to fully master our bodies and minds is nothing but a reflection of the struggle between the Patriarch and the forces of Chaos since while we applaud individuality and advancement, we also warn of self-control and restraint.

Our faith in his eventual victory is how we praise the Patriarch and make our humble contribution to his power, so that his Chosen can travel the realms and strike where they're needed. That our cousins constantly invite us to their temples for worship is an unfortunate necessity as we forge weapons and armor for those foolish souls insisting on making cities outside Azyr.

The completely unneeded and one-sided rivalry the Dorfs perceive with our particular kind is also not appreciated, more so since their people struggle with unity even of the face of extinction now that their patrons are either dead or crippled.

This clear show of stupidity wouldn't be so bad if not for the recent invasions suffered from the portals in the center of Tamriel that saw us almost wiped out not by the hand of the invaders but by the outrage caused to our Patriarch.

Only the swift words of the supplicants saved the realm granted to us by our new patron from total annihilation… which led my clan to sending 'ambassadors' to Resdayn in an effort to contain the screw-up of our Dunmer cousins, myself among their number.

Why not keep this delicate information to myself? This whole situation with Oblivion has taken a turn to the moronic, so I write this journal in the hopes that the future generations have a reliable source of information in what has devolved into the most embarrassing and definitively idiotic war in the history of creation.

May the future have an easier time than us, for there is only so much ridicule I can take before I use my hammer to solve my problems.

Alas, it is high time I explain my grievance for posterity, and record what I have the misfortune of witnessing of the so-called 'War of the Bride' and their embarrassing consequences.

Very few among my kind feel any attachment to the world-that-was; wisely choosing to focus their efforts in securing the survival of this reality, but the ties it has on our souls still do haunt us, and the 'Daedric Princes' are seldom merciful.

These spirits have made several attempts to either replace the 4 beyond or make their own little realms a permanent constant in this cycle from where they can collect the souls of those who fall to their empty promises. Their repeated failure to achieve either has made them desperate, and so they seek alliances either with foolish mortals with far too much power or with the treacherous deities who abandoned the Patriarch.

The total lack of success speaks for itself, but only the stupid ignore possibility and so it is that the elves of Ulthuan often reunite in the central kingdom of Tamriel to venture out of our realm, to make sure these pacts remain as they are. Fruitless endeavors.

The backstabbing nature of these spirits only makes our business easier.

In an unfortunate turn of events, however, our success became stumped when three of these abominations began to seek favor with the Patriarch, offering military support and invaluable intelligence on their kind in exchange of an outrageous price.

The situation wouldn't be so bad if not for the fact that the three 'Princesses' began to sabotage each other in an effort to get ahead of the others, all in a bid to become 'Queen of Mortals'

Yes, the price for total support to the mortal races associated with Order is the hand in marriage to the Patriarch himself.

Azura, Queen of Dawn and Dusk

Meridia, Lady of Infinite Energies

Nocturnal, Mistress of Shadows

All offering their armies, mortal servants and even planes of existence to Sigmar in exchange for the chance to make their own thrones next to His. The ridiculous situation is further explained by my fellow ambassadors, so I won't bother with the details, but I am certain my future readers now understand the root of my growing frustration with the Dunmer who unleashed this monumental fuck-up on us, on our isle and on our realm.

As a bastion of rationale, morality and common sense it seems, Azyr remains firmly opposed to such an union, with our brightest Wizard-Lords looking for ways to close the gate from where the daedra come bearing 'gifts' for us to deliver to the Patriarch. Most of the time information on how to beat the other 'contenders' in this ridiculous race for destruction.

This basic intelligence doesn't seem to extend to our neighbors, so we're forced to deal with 'daedric cults' sprouting from the other realms. Many would-be champions bearing potent artifacts usually given to defend other mortals and fight chaos/undead/forces of destruction instead they're often used against each other to establish dominance of their patron for no other reason other than spite.

The realm of Hysh has many cults of primitive humans committing to Meridia, who does everything she can to purge the chaotic influence of the hedonists toppling ancient pillars of knowledge, lending any support she can to the Stormhosts fighting there. All of this while trying to keep the influence of the other two at bay, who gain followers with promises of respite and relief of mind in a realm of non-ending thought.

Ulgu is the new hunting grounds of Nocturnal, who gathers followers in the thousands. Those sick of the tyranny of Malerion and the whimsical nature of Morathi escape into the daedric realms infuriating the deities there; aelfs of all kinds and backgrounds trapped in the realm follow whomever reaches them first, with Azura and Meridia gaining footholds by promising clear dealings and a home free of backstabbing, only too happy to stick it to the rulers there and blaming the other so that mother and son hate each other more than usual.

Perhaps the most popular and probably the most demented daedric princess is Azura, who burst her way into Shysh, opening her arms wide and receiving hundreds of thousands of souls who join her fight against the tyrant Nagash, offering second chances to whatever can raise a sword against the undead legions enslaved to the will of a megalomaniac.

Meridia, despite her nature and promises, follows far behind but with undeniable strength, the artifact known as Dawnbreaker having been recorded as fully capable of destroying the bodies of the Ossiarch Bonereapers while freeing the souls of the tortured, making sure that if an intelligent undead is murdered, it can never reform. The second, and far more important, effect is the murder of daemonic entities, where the most potent weapons we forge can only hope to banish them for a time until they reform.

Nocturnal falls behind in this realm by virtue of not needing many followers, since they join willingly and attack from the darkest corners of the realm, guerrilla tactics are their bread and butter, halting the advance of armies and vampiric spies of the tyrant. Her constant success has made it into the ranks of Chaos that even they fall victim to her ability to manipulate shadows, forever trapping their essence in secret vaults no-one can access.

The fact that these spirits have proven themselves useful in their fight for a throne in Azyr complicates the Patriarch's decision, for choosing one (as disgusting as it may be) gives the other two a reason to withdraw their support of the mortal races, a terrible loss now that the Patriarch has made advances in the Long War, while scorning all three creates the possibility of cooperation between former rivals, not only cutting His gains in three Realm, but also having three armies that by themselves already outnumber the Stormhosts while proving themselves superior to mortal soldiers of any kind, and only gain strength by allying themselves.

If asked about my opinion, this stalemate is the best solution, despite fully acknowledging that it won't last forever. Alas this falls way out of my field of expertise, so I can only hope that the Patriarch makes the best decision.

Hammer help us all.

This 'report' was the last known document written by the ambassador of the dwemer, his whereabouts are unknown and given his constant blasphemy, this humble servant can only be grateful to pass on to another assignment.

Sigmar be praised.

Banana Waffles