Sara heard her daughter's fussing and rose from the bed slowly, as to not disturb the sleeping Michael.
"Hey...look who's awake ?" She gently cooed to her baby, carrying her up from her crib to craddle her against her chest and rub her back softly.
They had come to the compromise that Faith would sleep in her crib, but said crib would be shifted to their bedroom.
Sara kissed the infant's head and Faith calmed instantly in her mother's arm. "Finally making your nights huh ?"
Faith let out a gurgle and kicked her fists against Sara's face, making her smile.
Sara laid her down just right next to Michael and laid down beside her.
Faith's attention immediately shifted to her daddy's sleeping face. Michael was sleeping on his side, face turned toward Faith and Sara found him adorable. His eyebrow was twitching..maybe instinctively and that was adorable.
"Dada's sleeping.." she whispered to Faith, stroking her hair lovingly.
Faith exitedly kicked her limbs, her breath coming into accelerated puffs as she willed to play with her daddy.
Sara smiled, bending to kiss Michael's temple.
"You wanna play with him huh ?" Sara playfully asked.
Faith let out an exited sound and grasped one of Michael's cheek in her tiny fist. Sara had a smile on her lips, surely Michael would love to wake up to his baby girl.
Faith repeated her movements and kicked Michael's stomach with her little socks clad feets.
Michael woke with a jerk and hit Faith's small body with his elbow violently, panting and looking around himself frantically, still in the throes of sleep.
Sara's face fell and she immediately gathered a crying Faith to her arms, her eyes had widened with a startle and she had began crying in fear mixed with the pain of the hit.
"Shhh.." Sara consolled looking at Michael and not knowing who to tend to first. Michael looked at them panting his eyes wide in shock and Sara guessed he had had a nightmare.
She checked Faith's ribs and massaged her shoulder slowly, where a light bruise was forming and kissed her crying lips lovingly.
"Shhh...you're okay Faith...you're okay sweet girl.." She cooed getting up from the bed and pacing while rocking her.
Michael watched the both of them in shock and took a hand to cover his mouth. Had he just hit Faith ? Oh god...
Sara's eyes locked with him and he didn't see hate or accusation in them but concern and worry.
She turned her attention back to the baby. "It's okay, it's okay.." she reassured kissing Faith's head repeatedly.
She heard a knock on the door and turned towards it, balancing Faith against her chest.
"Yes Mike ?" knowing it was their son she let him come in.
Mike had woken up to Faith's cries, his baby sister did cry, but not like this, never this furiously.
"Mom ? Is Faith okay ?" He asked with worry and Sara hesitated, looking between her crying girl to her eldest child.
"Yeah..don't worry she's fine, just a bit angry." Sara lied and felt guilty for doing so, she shared a look with Michael who looked more and more panicked.
"Are you sure ? maybe she's sick ?" Mike asked, there was no way Faith was crying this loudly just because she was angry her parents didn't tend to her.
"Shhhh...Faith, you're okay my baby." Sara rubbed her back and Faith hiccupoed, halting before crying anew and Michael gasped and left the room to lock himself in the bathroom.
Sara had seen the tears in his eyes and the utter remorse on his face. She sighed thinking she'd deal with it later. She shifted Faith to her other arm and craddled her head with her hand, it was the scare that made her cry this much more than the pain.
"Mike, go make her a feeder with some water and juice, you know how to right ?" Sara asked and Mike nodded and left, almost running, glad he had some use.
Sara hoped the sweetness of the orange juice would calm Faith and she left the bedroom too, taking Faith to the hall, more luminous and spacer maybe it would make her feel less scared or opressed, and it would muffle her cries to Michael's ears.
Once Faith was calmed, she had clung to Sara and it had been a while before Sara managed to get her occupied with Mike and could leave making sure Mike had things in hands and that Faith wasnt paying attention to her presence anymore.
She went back upstairs to their room, to find Michael still locked behind the bathroom door.
"Michael?" She called out while knocking softly.
Michael, who was a mess on the floor rose and splashed his face with cold water before opening the door.
"Michael.." Sara reitered looking for a reaction but Michael wasnt even meeting her eyes.
"Is Faith okay ?" he asked with a shaky voice. "I didn't wanted to hurt her..I didn't even know - "
"I know, I know.." She held his wrists removing them from his face.
"I hurt her.." Michael almost sobbed and Sara's heart felt apart. She knew she could reassure him all she wanted but he would feel guilty about it for a long time.
"You didn't meant to hurt her Michael.." Sara craddled his had and caressed his cheek.
"Sit for me.." She said gently, pulling him to sit on their bed.
"Is she okay ?" Michael asked with a trembling voice.
"Yeah..she's fine and playing with Mike, she is at least half as strong as her father." Sara ended on a quipping tone but Michael didn't smile, much less laugh.
"I scared her..I scared her...she's gonna hate me Sara." He looked at her with despair in his eyes and Sara wanted to hug him.
"She won't Michael, she won't even remember and she know you loves her." Sara assured.
"No, no, no, no..my...my foster father.." Michael murmured and it was enough for Sara's eyes to well up. His mind was mixing everything up.
"Oh Michael...your foster father abused you, he beat you purposely, it has nothing to do with an accidental kick.." She explained softly and craddled his face between both his hands.
"I'm sorry Sara.." he said miderably and she looked at him pained.
"Please don't be, this was accidental Michael. God knows I've myself made hundreds mistakes when Mike was a baby."
"She will think I'm a monster.." Michael said shaking his head and Sara sighed desolatingly.
"Michael.." she whined. "You know that you treat her like she's the most precious thing you ever held, she feels safer in your arms than she does in mine." Sara reasoned him.
"What if she rejects me ?" Sara closed her eyes.
"Come with me." She nudged rosing from her crouched position and raising him up too.
Sara held Michael's hand and led him downstairs, she stopped at the halway, so they could peer their children without being seen.
"And bah!" Mike immitated a bear as he made Faith play with one of her teddies.
Faith kicked her legs exitedly while her fists flailed unprecisely in front of her brother.
"See, does she looks so traumatised to you ?" Sara asked and Michael observed Faith.
"You're gonna hold her now." Sara stated and Michael turned to look at her with reticence. Sara held his look firmly.
"Mike, here give your sister to dad." Sara asked and watched proudly as Mike carried his little sibbling in his arms and Michael bent at his level and took Faith in his arms.
Faith studied his face and froze. Her lips wobbled and she began crying.
Michael's face crumpled in pain and he looked away.
"I told you, please take her Sara.." He said with misery and Mike instantly reached forwards but Sara held him back.
"No it's okay Mike. You're her father Michael, show her she's safe with you." Sara said over Faith's cries and Michael gently rocked his baby girl and held her against his chest.
"I'm so sorry..I'm sorry Faith...I love you so much, I didn't meant to hurt you, I wouldn't hurt you ever." Michael whispered in her ear.
She stopped fussing after a while, still studdying Michael's face. Daringly, she took one of her hand to slap his cheek clumsily to test his reaction and Michael smiled to her and kissed her forehead.
Faith smiled, her lips curling up ever so slightly and Michael's aching heart was appeased.
"Mom?" Mike asked while Sara helpedhim doing his homework.
"Uh huh?" she murmured, concentred on the calculs she was correcting.
"Did dad hit Faith ?" Mike asked hesitantly and Sara looked up.
"No.." she elongated. "your dad loves her and she's so precious to him, he would never hurt her."
"But I saw the bruise on her shoulder..." Mike said, he loved dad and was so close to him but he couldn't deny his dad has those phases, like crisis where he wouldn't be himself.
"Mike, has dad ever hit you ?" Sara asked sternly.
Mike hesitated, remembering that one time Michael would have almost...
"No! And he wouldn't ever hit any of you, trust me. I mean I'm more likely to raise my hand than Michael if we have to make probabilities." Sara explained, she knew Michael would never hurt their children, he would even hurt himself to protect them.
"You know why dad was away ?" Sara asked wanting to clear the doubts from her son's mind.
"To protect us ?" Mike asked what he'd known by heart.
"Right. You were in my tummy that time, just like Faith was a while ago, and I was in a dangerous place. People tried to harm you and I was worried sick, then your dad came, and he saved us, handing himself to years of pain and trauma.. he loved you so much Mike, the last place he touched me was where you were growing.." Sara completed misty eyed and Mike listened attentively.
"Does that mean that people have hit him ? hurt him ?" Mike asked, knowing his and his mother's freedom and safety had a price.
"Yes. That's why he gets scared about us sometimes...and today he just had a nightmare and accidentaly kicked Faith.." Sara explained and Mike nodded.
"God knew you were worst, what a kicker in bed you were as a toddler Mike Scofield, I'd lie you on your side of the bed and you would roll back right next to me and kick my ribs like 100 times a night." Sara said and Mike laughed.
"Thats not true." He giggled.
"I assure you, it is." Sara smiled. "Come on, finish this now, still two exercices to go."
"Michael ?" Sara whispered in the dark of their bedroom, laid on her side of the bed, facing her husband, and Michael looked at her.
"I thought the nightmares had ended with therapy ?" She asked softly, still worried about her husband's mental state.
It had been almost...three years since he was back, things seemed to have only worsened for him after her pregnancy and Faith's birth.
"I don't know, sometimes therapy makes it worst, it makes me relieve things I don't want to remember..." Michael admits, opening up.
He was still deeply upset for having hurt Faith, he'd spent the whole day looking after her personally, and making sure she had everything she needed.
"But that means there are still things hidden inside you that torments you Michael." Sara conclued a frown on her brow.
"There will always be Sara.." He said in a slow voice not meeting her eyes.
"What was this nightmare about ?" Sara asked, she had always wanted to share the burden of Michael's ordeal, but it was not easy when she hadnt lived through what he had.
"Sara please, we don't need to talk about it." Michael shrugged, taking a hand to her auburn hair and stroking the tendrils absently.
"Michael.." Sara said dejectively, he had began sharing the worst of his nightmares with her, tales and flashes of rape and murder and torture and death.. why was he holding back now ?
"please talk to me.." She requested and Michael sighed not being able to resist her tone.
"It was about Jacob..." He began and Sara looked away, pain rising in her chest at that name.
"We were in that lake house, I mean you and him, he had you tied to that chair in the basement and...he said that if you couldn't be his then you wouldn't be mine either. He had gasoline with him, he poured it all over you and..." Michael stopped, his voice breaking. "he cracked a lighter..." Michael closed his eyes and Sara gasped silently.
"He fled the place and I heard your screams, I...I found you in the basement, you were a human torch, I put out the fire...but it was already too late, you were gone and I held your carbonised body...your flesh was melting under my fingers, your hair was ashes, your fingers were all deformed and black..the only thing remaining was your wedding ring on them.." a tear slipped from his eye and Sara looked at him in horror.
"Come here..." She held him to her chest, kissing the top of his head and blaming herself, she was responsible for this particular dream.
Right after Jacob had kidnapped Mike and that they had found Lincoln shot, the lake house had exlploded behind them and they had looked at it, in shock for a second.
Sara had later told him, even so briefly that Jacob had her tied to a chair in the basement and that he was planning to blow the house with her and Michael inside.
That was probably what had triggered this dream.
"I'm sorry.." she quietly apologised against his cropped hair and held him closer.
Sara realised, some ghosts from their past might never stop following them, and the best way to get rid of them was probably to acknowledge their presence. They should talk more, Michael and her, maybe once in a week, take the time to talk and discuss a troubling event of their past, voice their fears...
All she knew, is that she hated the world for what it had done to the beautiful man that was Michael Scofield, her heart broke from his childhood abuse up to the lastest trauma, indirectly caused by herself due to the nature of her relationship with Poséidon..