A/N: Had to do this one for Yuki. Yuki's backstory and the Hat. Italics for Child Yuki, Normal for Current Yuki (you'll understand)
"The birth of the mouse is, a most fortunate event for the Sohmas'. Naturally Akito-sama, for our now departed master, is a matter to rejoice greatly." The Old Maid said. Yuki looked around the new section of the Sohma estate that he'd never been allowed to go to. His mother had put him in his best dark suit and even bought him a new pair of slippers so that he could look good for whoever this 'Akito' was.
His mother was an intimidating women, she was a lot taller than he was and her hand sometimes made him feel awed whenever she'd wrap her hand around his. Yuki always had a very sheltered life and never made a single friend, but sometimes he'd watch the other Sohmas play with each other.
He always wanted to join them but for some reason he'd never been allowed to. Yuki didn't think he was that different from other kids, but he still had to follow some rules. He couldn't hug his mother, his cousin or in fact anyone who was a girl… he never realized why but something about being a 'Rat' whatever that meant.
Yuki liked rats and they liked him, sometimes when his mother would leave his room he'd go searching for little mice or open up the sliding door to the outside and see who would come and greet him.
He let out a dry cough. "But...unfortunately this child is sickly… I'm worried." His mother said and Yuki looked around only glancing for a second at her bright red lipstick and the big pearls around her neckline. Mother always wore makeup, but those pearls, they were something new.
He continued to cough. "That Akito'll become disgusted with him for being unable to be a satisfactory companion." Mother didn't like him much but Yuki still liked her, sometimes he'd imagine her smiling. He'd seen pictures of her and Father, her beautiful white wedding dress accented her brown hair and dark eyes greatly. She was the type of woman that looked great in just about anything and especially in long dresses or kimonos. Maybe that's why she wore her nice, long, skintight dress.
Mother smiled in that picture. But she didn't ever again. Not after Nii-san was born. Nii-san's name was Ayame and he had bright white hair like Mother's wedding dress and golden eyes. Yuki wished his eyes were gold and bright as his Nii-san's. Nii-san was the Snake Zodiac so he couldn't hug mother either.
Yuki sometimes wondered if his Mother hated him for not being able to hug him. He'd never know, after all… he never knew what it was like to be hugged. Father was never around and always on business trips.
"My.. That sort of concern… It's said that the 'bond' between 'God and the Zodiacs' cannot be described by words. No doubt they will get along quickly." The Old Maid said.
Yuki let out even louder coughs. These ones hurt even more than the last ones. It didn't help that his throat was always dry and he couldn't seem to breath. ".. Yuki." His mother said. "Don't cough before the Clan Leader."
Yuki immediately covered his mouth, he knew that tone. He let out a single cough as the door slide open. "Akito-sama… I've brought them."
He paused and stared at the elder child before him. His black hair shun even more beautifully than his brother's, the dark kimono hugged his little frame and his eyes smiled peacefully. Tears trickled down his face as he stared at a child that couldn't be much older than him.
"Wh… What's this? Why are you crying Yuki?" HIs mother asked. The tears wouldn't top. "It's rude!"
'But on their own in a place I didn't know about so very deep within, something screamed. I wanted to meet him. I didn't want to meet him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to run away.' A voice much farther in the future said, a voice that must've been his.
"... Those of the possessed who'd been born first also cried.. What else could you call this other than a 'bond'... no doubt it's a tie that cannot be broken." The maid continued as Akito walked up to him with a calm smile on his face and wrapped his frail arms around him.
'So dear and detestable.' The two Yuki's thought together.
"We finally meet my… Yuki.." Akito's voice said softly.
'From the time of my earliest memories, I was already by Akito's side.'
It was only a few hours later and Yuki was changed into a nice, pale colored kimono, he was only allowed to wear expensive old, Chinese styled clothes. Yuki wondered if it was because someone always made Akito wear kimonos, he'd never seen the other boy wear anything else.
"The mouse is the most important amount the zodiacs." Akito explained, his elbows laid neatly on the tatami mats as he read the oh so familiar story of the Zodiacs. "They are the ones closest to God. In other words, the one closest to me is you. You're 'Special' in the same way I am."
'As Akito's playmate, we spent the day together and didn't go outside. I was still young at that time and didn't question anything.'
A few days had passed and on this day Yuki had a rather bad coughing fit as he was trying to eat his meal. He covered his mouth with both hands, his chopsticks held tightly as he coughed.
"SHUT UP! STOP THAT COUGHING IT'S ANNOYING!" Akito screamed and Yuki froze, staring up at the boy beside him who had a hand covering his ear. Akito had a look of confusion on his face as he dropped his hand and continued to eat. He didn't say anything else that day.
'Akito too lost his temper but it seems like it wasn't in the same easy as it is now…. That's right I think there were times when he also cried.'
Yuki remembered the first time he saw Akito go outside, he only went outside whenever Shigure was there. Shigure held Akito in his arms gently and Yuki could only poke his head out of the door and watch as they comforted each other. He thought it looked beautiful.
'There were a number of times that I saw Shigure comforting Akito what he was sad and bitter about. That suddenly happened. One day Akito went crazy.'
He watched on as Akito colored the walls with black paint. It made his lungs clench but he could only watch on. "This world, my world is pitch dark. In that case, this room should be made an appropriate color."
"Akito…?" He asked quietly.
"Yuki too, Yuki is also pitched dark. You and I are always together so you should also be pitch dark. It's not fair if we're not the same right?" Paint splattered on Akito's white kimono and his pale face. Suddenly he graze, his eyes emotionless and blank. "Wrong…" Akito entire body paused, no longer painting. "Wrong we're not the same.. I'm not unwanted…'
"Akito…" Yuki said again, this time with a little more fear in his voice.
Akito made a vicious big paint stain on the walls. "It's on e who was chosen and am one who is necessary. I SHOULD BE HERE THEREFORE I EXIST! I'M NOT THE SAME AS YOU!" Akito turned around and faced him, his once kind face no longer there, it had disintegrated all at once. "YOU ARE MY TOY! YOUR MOTHER GAVE YOU TO ME!" He let out a harsh laugh. "YOU WERE ESSENTIALLY ABANDONED!"
Yuki paused. He remembered the day when he last saw his Mother and first saw Akito. "When can I come home?" He asked his Mother.
"... Soon." She said but she didn't dare to face him.
"FIGURE IT OUT ALREADY IDIOT! THE MOUSE IS HATED! NO ONE! NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU!" Akito's screams broke him out his memory as he pushed him to the ground. "IF I WEREN'T HERE! IF I DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION TO YOU! THERE'D BE NO PURPOSE TO YOUR EXISTENCE!" Akito pointed his stained fingers at him and he felt a tear run down his face.
'Mother. How long has it been since she last came to see me?'
"You'd been abandoned."
Yuki went to the banquet. Where he'd seen the other Zodiacs play and talk to each other.
'I finally realized it I'd… Never even spoken to any of the other Zodiacs. Always by Akito's side. I'd never even spoken to the person who was supposed to be my elder brother.' His brother and Shigure looked at him with cold, emotionless eyes… they had the eyes of someone who didn't care anything about you, like you were dirt.
Sweat poured down his face.
The banquet ended and Yuki was given a few moments away from Akito.
"That's right, he's been there the whole time.. The child who's the Cat.." One of the maids said.
"Really? 'Outside'?" The other said.
Yuki looked out at the snow outside. "He's standing there looking so enviously. No doubt he's better that he can't join them."
'The… Cat?' Yuki thought to himself. He moved away from the maids and made his way down the stairs and looked outside.
'I'd never met Kyo before either.'
A little boy around the same height as him was standing outside in the blizzard. His orange hair shun brightly against the white snow and his dark eyes matched even bright colored hair. Yuki thought that he must've had the nicest hair in the Sohma's. An oversized blue scarf was around his neck and he wore a worn, brown shirt and black shorts. He had nearly knee height white socks and brown and white shoes.
'Such a beautiful orange color.'
"U-um.." Yuki stuttered.
"You're.. The Mouse right…?" The boy before him asked and Yuki felt himself light up and he let himself show a small smile.
"You.. I won't forgive you.. I will never forgive you.. Everything's the Mouse's fault, because of you, because you exist, everything.." The glared at him, his eyes darkened as he stated at him, every once of his being spat at his every existence. "EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE IF YOU WERE GONE FROM THIS WORLD!"
He ran away.
Yuki felt his entire body shake from those words as he watched him go.
'The mouse is..'
Yuki felt tears run down his face as he went to go find the only other person he thought cared about him. He looked around everywhere until he found his mother. "Mo...m… Mom.. I.." His Mother looked at him and smacked him so hard across the face that it burned.
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! HURRY UP AND GO BACK TO THE CLAN LEADER! HURRY! DON'T BRING SUCH TRIFLING EMBARRASMENTS DOWN ON US!" She screeched.
'The mouse is hated'
Yuki looked toward the ground and walked back to where he knew Akito's room was. He knelt down on the ground and hugged his knees to his body in a protective hold. "Make no mistake. You see, this world is pitch dark, just like your life is pitch black. There are no possibilities and there's no hope. Your life will be a path of darkness. So don't kid yourself, thinking that someday you'll be 'saved'."
'Everyday I heard those negative words. Those pitch dark words. That Akito Spoke and before I knew it. I began to think they were true.'
'Nobody cared, an unwanted and worthless person.'
'After all, even if I stretched out my hand wanting to be saved.' Yuki grabbed his elder brother's jacket and Ayame looked at him and snatched his hand away. He walked on as if he'd never seen the only little brother he had. 'Being looked at wth those eyes that were indifferent, eyes that were hateful.'
"Yuki-sama's parents are absorbed with their life of luxury it seems, compared to the other zodiac parents, the 'Mouse's' rank is especially different. The allowance is different too the amount received and the managerial position even." One of the Sohma women said, Yuki had stopped by to listen in on their conversation, he couldn't help it.
"But to sell your child to the leader..' The black haired woman said.
"Very shrewd in ingratiating oneself.. Right?" The other women agreed.
"A human sacrifice, I couldn't do that."
Yet they smiled as they spoke about his circumstances.
'There was no chance anyone would come for me, especially for my parents, they had no reason to be dissatisfied with their current situation. Among the Sohmas they were the 'winners'."
"Is elementary school fun Yuki-sama?" The driver asked him but Yuki only looked out of the woman. After all he knew there'd be nothing of worth for him to say.
"I wonder, this child doesn't have any thoughts of his own. He even gets to go to a much better school that the other Zodiac kids too... Aa, drop me off at my destination first. I'll be late in returning." His mother said and Yuki looked out the window and saw what looked like the Ox and the Cat wearing matching uniforms.
"Okay." The driver said.
Yuki placed a hand on the glass as he saw the small boy, the Rabbit open up the Cat's bag. He could only look on enviously.
".. Yuki sit properly." His mother said and he did as she wished, no longer looking at his fellow Zodiacs.
'Elementary schools as extremely uncomfortable. I tried not to interact with the others. In any case, I didn't know how to interact with them.'
'I didn't want to be hated more than I already was.'
'But that ended up happening.'
"Let's play!" One of the boys from school said.
"...Eh?" Yuki asked confused.
"Isn't it boring always being alone?" The other boy said.
"Let's play soccer, soccer!" The first boy said.
"B… But…" Yuki stuttered.
"Come on, let's play." The second boy said.
"Let's be friends." The first boy said and Yuki felt himself blush in excitement, similar to the feeling he felt when he first met the Cat.
"Frie...nds.." Yuki said happily.
"Right friend!" The first boy said.
"Let's go Yuki." The second one said and they ran off with Yuki right behind them. Their smiling faces made him smile for what felt like the first time.
'So happy. I couldn't help being so happy. I was ecstatic. Among my 'friends' were some Soham children and we talked about everyone exploring the 'inside' together. Everyone came in through the secret entrance. I was so ecstatic. That I forgot to be careful of the girls.' One of the girls bumped him and he turned into a tiny rat. 'There was a major uproar and in the end my 'friends' memories ended up being erased.'
"Of course it's strange for a person to change into a mouse." Akito said immediately after. "If a normal person found out about it, they'd think it's creepy and wouldn't be able to come near and would leave you.. I told you right? Don't fool yourself."
Yuki paused for a split second and ran away from Akito. He looked around everywhere until he found Hatori. He knelt down to his knees and touched the elder boys knees. "Please. Please don't erase them. 'Friends'. They're my 'friends'. The first ones. I'd made."
'They'll leave you.'
The next day, the two boys that were once his friends passed by him without even noticing. "You're kidding—"
"It's true! Let's take a look on the way home."
'... Let's go Yuki!'
Yuki felt tears run down his eyes and he decided that for once he would skip school. It was too hard to stay there. There a heavy breeze that flew by and a dirty, blue hat feel on the floor. He picked up the hat.
"... Sho— Shishou wait! My hat flew…" He stared at the Cat, Kyo his name was Kyo.
"... Um.. Th-This…" He stopped as familiar eyes… eyes filled with hatred… hatred for his entire existence… stared back at him and he ran away.
'There's something that I wanted. Parents who will hold you. A home that you wish to return to. A place where everyone smiles. A me. That everyone doesn't leave.'
Deep, tears fell down his face as Yuki collapsed onto the ground, his hands grasping onto the hat that belonged to the one boy who he truly wanted to be friends with, but only hated him.
'I wanted it. I wanted it.'
A/N: This one really hurts my heart to write, especially with all the manga visuals. But I hope I gave Yuki some justice, he's a great character. Next up, Minami and Yuki's first encounter~