Sasuhina Month 2020

Day 1: To the Stars, The Moon Pleaded "Stay"

Rated T

She is a most wonderful vision.

A figure of sensuality and virtue as if tailored by the gods to bring about salvation and sanctuary to this undeserving mortal ground.

With skin pristine like unstained glass and smooth like tender velvet bathing soothingly in the essence of the sun as if beckoning and rejoicing in its warmth.

Her hair dark, lustrous and silky beyond words in its descent against her form as if embracing her in protection and serenity.

And her eyes, wide and jolly, the most captivating shade of lavender, bewitching and consuming beyond comprehension.

How is it, he wonders, that a woman like her exists?

How is it, that her mere presence provokes this intense change in the contractions of his heart, in his gathering of breath, in the formation of his thoughts?

She is more than beauty, more than grace, more than warmth, more than light.

She is kindness and respect.

She is honesty and compassion.

An angel fallen from the sky, a fairy without wings.

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

After all, it had been her, the one that handed him the stars, the one that found him in the dark. When he was drowning in the pain, in the loneliness of his own insignificance she had dared to reach her hand, to look at him and form a smile.

"Please don't cry, don't let tears inside your heart when there is so much happiness around. Smile instead, all teeth and wide, and I promise that this pain that hurts so bad…it will be banished to the sky"

It is a memory of youth, his most precious treasure.

He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind. Merely the second son, the shadow of his brother, the spare of his father.

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

He knows his place, he knows his role.

"Lady Hyuuga turns more beautiful everyday, doesn't she?"

"She does, undoubtedly so"

He can feel his lips smiling, his expression lost in the gift that is her. He allows himself to indulge, if only just this once, to gaze once more at her eyes, at her nose and her lips.

How is it, he wonders, that he is so lucky to be alive at this moment?

His eyes turn to his right, resting on his favorite cousin before turning around ready to head back to the station.

"You're in love with her, aren't you?" Shisui asks, and despite the smile lifting his lips there is something sad about his eyes

"I know my place, I know my role" he smiles, all teeth and wide "come on Shisui, there's a ton of paperwork waiting for us"

He's unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

But there is much he can still do, much more still left for him to give.

He can vie for her protection, bring peace within the walls.

He can take the burden off her friends, can take the troubles off her mind.

He can wish for her happiness, can pray for her health.

However far she may be, however unreachable to him, he can still try with all his might to keep the smile that she once gave, all precious and irreplaceable, illuminating her face.

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She's an exhilarating performance, all fierceness and grace following wherever she goes.

Her movements, so calculated and precise, cast judgement upon the wicked in a continuous dance of silence that holds a simmering gentle fury in each and every of her soft feather touches. Dead stillness falls upon conclusion as her form forever gorgeous basks in sorrowful solemnity.

Her spirit, both tranquil like the waters of a pond in coming spring and infinitely warm like the air of enduring summer, casts a blanket of protection on the weary, a promise of safety to the innocent.

Her heart, pure as it is stubborn, weeps for the forsaken, prays for the forgotten, absolves the repenting. It is a tender and forgiving heart, more forgiving than anyone has any right to.

How is it, he wonders, that she continues to find the strength to forgive those who wrong her despite the pain that they cause her?

How is it, that they don't realize what an amazing woman this is, how strong and resilient and skilled she has become?

She is more than strength, more than speed, more than instinct, more than talent.

She is discipline and hard work

She is practice and repetition

She is determination and never going back on her word

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

Like it was yesterday he can remember, that time he learned of the lion hiding beneath her eyes

It's an easy memory to recall, after all, it was the first time his flash step was faster than Shisui's, his eyes sharper than his brother's.

It begins with the report of an ambush, with her as the target and him as the backup.

With fear palpable in his tongue and overwhelming in his trembling hands, he runs.

But by the time he arrives she has begun, a force of nature twisting and charging with every one of her practiced steps, the absolute might of the sixty-four palms discharged upon her foes in a crescendo. And her eyes, they are still the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. This goddess given flesh is a sight to behold, and even now he remembers the staccato his heart played at the scene before his eyes.

It ends with her fingers near his throat, her surprised lavender gaze overcoming the sheer look of concentration from before.

He does not allow himself to wallow in the memory too long, for he knows that if he does the delicate scent of hyacinth will reach his nose and the distance that lies between them will be breached by his treacherous heart.

"Don't sneak up on me like that sa-chan! I could have hurt you really badly. But, thank you…you know, for coming to help me"

"You really are amazing Hina"

He cannot help the strange feeling of pride every time he recalls that memory, she has grown so much, has become so strong.

He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind. Yet, he is so thankful to be able to witness this girl, a little shy and innocent and everything that is right in the world, become such a confident mature woman. It is a privilege he will never take for granted.

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

"Tell me dear boy, who is she? Who is this woman that consumes all of your thoughts, the one that has taken ownership of your heart?"

His gaze falls upon his mother, a look of wonder and joy in unhidden display. She's just as lovely as when she sang her first lullaby, as attentive and caring as when he was but a young boy.

"There is no one like that. I know my place, I know my role" he gifts her a loving smile "you don't have to worry, mother"

He brings her into his embrace, a warm farewell and a see you soon. He does not see the light of her eyes dim. He does not see the tight grip of her fist close to her heart.

He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

But there is plenty he can do, a lot more left for him to see.

He can marvel in her movements, both the peaceful and the violent.

He can wallow in her laughter, both from memories and in her presence.

He can take care of her sister, to bring both joy in any way.

He can steal just one more glance, lie to himself just one more time.

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She is a breath of fresh air, quite familiar and comforting.

Her voice is soft and sweet like cotton, her words woven with patience, thoughtfulness and care. Even so, he can't help but compare it to the allure of a siren's song. The hypnotizing melody of her chords. So relaxing and consoling it has long become his favorite sound.

And the silence in between, that is its own special gift. The offer of her company, of her presence within reach, of the sounds of her breath and the image of her form. As if the world was in stasis, saying it's okay, to gaze at her just one more time.

And her authenticity, her concern, her love for her family and her friends is so mesmerizing and so disarming he wants nothing more than to forget her, because he knows that it is possible, downright certain that these feelings in his heart will only grow.

She's more than innocent, more than friendly, more than loyal, more than extraordinary

She is security and peace

She is the water and the wind

The steady rock in minds of many, the anchor deep within.

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

There is one such instance of time, a time his brain cannot ignore, when the mere sight of her left him speechless, because it was a glimpse into the future, another treasure in itself.

And it begins with his arrival, his form weary from a mission. The night is long as stars are bright, yet his feet carry him regardless into her warm welcoming home.

What awaits him is a lady, a few years younger than her sister, yet her beauty is not diminished, only hidden by mischief.

"Sa-san, you're back! Did you bring it?! Did you?!"

"Hello to you too, firecracker. I said it was a promise didn't I?"

Her eyes sparkle in the light of her front door, a sweet souvenir within her palms, and he knows he is being ridiculous but the thought comes anyway. She has taken after Hinata.

As he holds the child in his gaze he cannot help but feel content.

But the moment is then stopped, not destroyed, but expanded. She emerges from inside, all porcelain and silk and lavender in her wake. And his heart gallops one more time, long surrendered to her smile.

And that is when it finally happens, the vision in his eyes travels through time.

And there, standing steps ahead is a much more mature woman, with no less beauty, no less grace, no less warmth.

And in her arms is not her sister, not the rebellious adventurer filled with passion and mischief, but a much more inexperienced little thing, wide eyes in wonder and curiosity.

It takes everything he has to dissipate that very scene, for he knows that deep within, he's not strong enough to face it.

He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

"You've been spending a lot of time patrolling near the Hyuuga compound. Something you want to say?"

His gaze falls upon his father, the commander of the police force, forever strict and infallible. An old wound threatens to reopen, a hurt of times long past.

"I know my place, I know my role" he salutes in subordination "Sir"

He bows and he departs. He does not see the hesitation, the inklings or regret.

He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

But there is much he can endure, much more left for him to bear.

He can handle frozen nights, her form sound and in blissful rest

He can fight against exhaustion, peace and order his reward.

He can perpetuate his distance, only admire from afar.

He could accept his place as second, a meager warrior and protector.

Whatever price he pays is little, when measured against her smile.

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She is an inescapable revelation, a bright enchantment of the truth.

Her mind benevolent and understanding, captivating in humility glimpses past layers of deception, offers redemption and mercy.

And her eyes, like stellar windows, like nebulous ice reflections glimmer sharply with intelligence and observe with calm rapport.

Despite her powers of deduction, the blessing of her sight, her only passion is to aid, to sooth the spirit and the mind. And so she sees the hearts of men, so full of sin and of regret.

And yet her hope never falters nor declines, her gaze set in the path towards the sun.

She is more than perception, more than intuition, more than introspection, more than sensation.

She is experience and involvement

She is patience and rumination

The culmination of her years, of her talents and her efforts.

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

And he's not the only one. This ethereal creature of benevolence, of boundless wisdom and stability has already taken stage, has become a steering knight. And she is power and authority and compassion and bravery. There is no soul that does not listen, there is no dimming of her light.

"We will not risk civilian settlements! That, I will not allow! If it's gold that is the issue, then take it from my vaults. If it's men you are In need of, I will gladly join the fight. Whatever else may come our way, whatever hardships they may be, I will protect them with my life!"

It is the idealistic way, the laborious road ahead, yet all it brings is inspiration, optimism and unification.

He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

The path she walks he cannot follow, he'll never join her in the sun. She is destined for so much more, to such great heights, he can only be grateful, from the bottom of his heart, that he was allowed the chance to meet her.

"You should tell her how you feel. If you truly wish to make her happy, then that is the only way"

His gaze falls upon his brother, the man most treasured in his heart. With tired lines along his eyes, his pupils still glimmer with the kindness and the brilliance of his being. And it is him, Hinata's promised, what she truly deserves. A man of honor, and integrity, and strength, a man whose everything that he could never be. A true pacifist and seer, so altruistic it almost hurts.

He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

"I know my place, I know my role" he smirks at his sitting brother, the white-red hat resting closely by his side "And I know yours. You have worried all your life, made me into who I am, I will always be grateful that I got to be your brother. So now it's time for you to let me worry, for you to let me protect you."

His feelings are inconsequential, they would only be a burden. More than anything else, his one single wish has been for them to be happy, for them to smile always, to repay them, to thank them. Because before he was nothing, before he was no-one. Shadow he may be, that is no longer the case. He knew plenty of happiness, reveled in their glow. Now it's just time to look away, now it's time to fulfill his role.

"Foolish little brother, your eyes are still closed even now. For all your prowess and your foresight you are still so incredibly blind. By choice no less. There is only one man who is in possession of her heart, only one man who consumes all of her thoughts, only one man who can evoke that precious smile. For all that you see her, that you know her, that you love her it never occurred to you that she felt the same" his smile is easy, teasing yet honest "She has rescinded the contract of marriage this very morning, confronted her father too. What will you do little brother, I wonder"

He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.

This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.

And yet…

She is a most wonderful vision.

An exhilarating performance

A breath of fresh air

An inescapable revelation

He doesn't have the chance to pursue her, to ask after the cancellation of the contract. She finds him first, refuses his words, grabs onto his body, kisses his lips.

And as her lips meld with his, as his tongue caresses hers, as he drowns in her essence, he has to acknowledge that perhaps, just perhaps, he knows nothing after all.