Hello my fellow peoples! This is the story I started for another BTR story challenge. It was a word draw thingy where you get a random word and base a story off of it. The word I got was walk. I wanted to try something new for this story but I'm not sure how it turned out (aka I think it sucks). Welp. Enjoy then...

Rated T for eating disorder

I own absolutely nooooooooooooooooooooooooooothing :P

Walking. It was a nice form of exercising that wasn't very obvious to the other members of Big Time Rush. Kendall had been cutting meals short to go on walks or go to the pool so he could exercise. He knew it was unhealthy but he just couldn't get rid of the embarrassment when he had realized just how much weight he'd gained over the holidays.


They had just come back from a Thanksgiving party at an old friend's house and Logan, James, Kendall, and Carlos were lugging their suitcases behind them as they entered the Palm Woods. Mrs. Knight and Katie followed them in and Katie had pointed out that Kendall had dropped something. He bent over to pick it up and he heard a small *rip* and a small draft where he knew shouldn't be.

Logan, James, and Carlos snickered then quickly walked behind him to cover him. Katie and Mrs. Knight made sure the coast was clear, even though a few people in the lobby had already seen and were quietly laughing to themselves. They rushed to the elevator and pushed the button hurriedly so they could get back to 2J before anyone else could see.

Once on their floor, the boys of Big Time Rush began snickering and laughing again, Kendall included. At the time, he hadn't cared that he'd ripped his pants by bending over to grab something. Little did he know that the thought would soon haunt him and would start something that could really hurt him. They reached 2J and ran inside, the other three boys guarding Kendall's pants from view until the door was fully closed. They all burst out laughing and Katie tried to seem unamused but soon gave in and began laughing with them.

"You totally ruined those pants!" Carlos exclaimed in between laughs. Logan started to say something but he was cut off by another fit of laughter. "Aw man! I'm gonna need new pants!" Kendall said, still laughing. He looked at James who was trying to fix his hair, which got messy when he was doubled over in laughter. "Don't just stand there!" Katie said, "Go get different pants!"

Kendall had rushed off to the room he shared with James without a second thought about the whole incident. In fact, he hadn't given the ripping his pants thing a thought until he laid in bed, trying to fall asleep. You know right when you're about to fall asleep, you can get the weirdest and off-topic thoughts… He laid there as James softly snored in the bed next to him. He had almost completely forgotten about the embarrassing event earlier but now, as he was laying in bed waiting for sleep, it came back and ever since, the thought had plagued him right before he went to sleep.

The thing that kept him awake at night was the fact that he'd gained enough weight to rip his pants just by bending over. It was that night that he decided to lose any extra weight. He snuck out of bed and silently crept to the bathroom. Inside, he locked the door and turned on the lights. Kendall searched under the sink for the scale and when he found it, he pulled it out and turned it on. He stepped on once the scale read zero and looked down, disappointed at the number. 90 kilos. (or 198 lbs.) Had he really gained that much weight over the holidays?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here he was, two months later, in the bathroom after everyone was asleep. He stared at the scale under his feet as he read the number. 83 kilos. (182 lbs.) He had only lost barely 4 kilos (7 lbs.) in two months. He knew he'd have to try harder to drop more weight off and he decided that tomorrow he would go on a walk instead of eating breakfast. Pulling up his shirt, he looked at his stomach and was slightly more satisfied when he barely pulled any flab away. He hid the scale back under the sink and turned off the bathroom light as he snuck back to his room. When he got there, James surprised him because he had turned on the lamp by his bed and watched Kendall as he entered the room.

"Can't sleep?" Kendall broke James out of his "trance" and looked at him. "I just woke up and saw that you were gone." Was his tired reply. James knew something was up since he'd heard Kendall go into the bathroom every night (he was a light sleeper) and had wondered what he was doing. "What were you doing in the bathroom? You literally went right before you went to bed." James stared him down and Kendall almost fessed up but he kept a straight face and answered, "I needed a drink and I didn't want to grab a glass in the kitchen because I didn't want to wake anyone up. I have a glass in the bathroom already."

James looked like he barely believed the lie but he decided to stop prying since Kendall probably had every excuse in the book. Whatever he was doing in the bathroom would remain unknown until he would decide to stop keeping secrets from his band mates. James waited for Kendall to get back in bed and clicked the lamp off. The two laid there in complete darkness and an awkward silence settled over them. Kendall decided not to break the silence so James could sleep and he closed his eyes for a moment and drifted into an uneasy slumber with plaguing dreams.

Kendall walked through the Palm Woods lobby and the same scene where he'd ripped his pants came back except he was all alone. He remembered all of the embarrassment and though he didn't feel it at the time, he'd begun to feel shame. He was ashamed that he'd even gained enough weight to rip his pants. It was that same night until he'd gone to the bathroom to weigh himself. He looked at the number and almost screamed. 100 kilos. (220 lbs.) He'd gained so much weight that he could barely keep his balance from the shock. He ran to his room and dug through the drawers, pulling all of the clothes out and he sprinted back to the bathroom to see if they still fit.

He found his favorite pair of jeans and tried them on. They didn't get up past his mid-thighs and he started freaking out. All of the other clothes fit the same way. The shirts didn't cover his stomach all the way and the sleeves were way too tight. In the rational part of his brain, he knew that it was just a vivid dream and all of his clothes still fit. He tried to wake himself up but only went deeper into the nightmare.

He was back in the bathroom and weighing himself again. He was at the weight he'd been the night that he'd come back: 90 kilos (198 lbs.) This time he knew something worse was going to happen. And it did. That night, he hadn't cared and he and the other members of Big Time Rush had a movie night with lots of junk food for snacking. About halfway through the movie, they'd finished their bowl of popcorn and sent Logan to make more. They continued to eat the snacks on the table in front of them and when Logan came back with the fresh popcorn, all of the boys dug in.

When the movie was finished, Kendall felt very guilty about how much junk food he'd eaten. Chips, popcorn, candy, soda. All of the food he'd eaten sat like a rock at the bottom of his stomach and he went to the bathroom to weigh himself yet again. The scale didn't work. He couldn't weigh himself anymore. He'd have to live in mystery and never know how much weight he'd gained or lost. The night went on and he could feel the food just sitting there and he hated it.

Though the dream felt like it had lasted for an eternity, Kendall woke up in shock and glanced at the clock on his bedside table. Only an hour had actually passed. He knew that it was bad to do it but he wanted to lose any weight he'd gained so he got out of bed as quietly as possible and snuck off to the bathroom. He went straight to the cabinet and pulled it open to grab the scale. He found it and set it on the cold tiles to weigh himself. He was about to step on when he heard a soft voice from the doorway.

Kendall felt so stupid as he realized that he hadn't locked the door behind him. He looked up from the floor and up to the doorway. James stood there and had a skeptical look on his face when he looked from Kendall to the scale on the floor. "What are you doing?" James asked in a tired voice. In fact, as Kendall looked, James looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep for a few days.

"Just a thing." Kendall tried to cover up but James had already seen the scale on the floor and God knows just how long he'd been standing in the doorway. "What are you doing?" James asked again, this time he tried to sound more awake and stern. Kendall tried to think of an excuse for why he was weighing himself in the middle of the night and decided to go with, "I don't know…"

James motioned for Kendall to come out of the bathroom and sit down at the kitchen table. "How long have you been doing this?" James asked in that same soft voice he'd used when he first asked Kendall what he was doing in the bathroom. Kendall sighed, "You remember when I ripped my pants after we got back from Thanksgiving?" James nodded then his eyes widened. He sat there like that for a few moments before shaking his head and turning back to his friend.

"You've been doing that for two months?! Please tell me this is all just a bad dream and I need to wake up and see my beautiful face in the bathroom mirror!" He started fixing his hair and glancing at Kendall a few times. He stood up to go back to their room and wasn't paying attention to where he was walking. Kendall sat at the table and watched everything happen in slow-motion. James stood up quickly and walked past the counter where a pile of backpacks was laying and tripped on one of the straps on the backpack. He fell, hitting his head on the corner of a cabinet on the way down.

Kendall shot up and ran to James who was laying on the floor, motionless. James looked up at him with unfocused eyes and Kendall said one thing to him before the stars in his eyes took over.

"This was just a really bad dream…"

How was it? Did you like it? :D Hate it?:( Lemme know by leaving a review (please)! Stay tuned for however more chapters I make :O